"No - weird - sex stuff!" Some may say we done goofed by recording this episode before the trade deadline. But is it not enough to revisit a simpler time when Jakub Vrana was still a Washington Capital and Michael Raffl wasn't one yet? Other discussion items on Rave, Kelly, and Eva's docket include the Harry Styles' Tiny Desk Concert Appreciation Crew, a pizza promposal, the death of Yahoo! Answers, and dumb coaches continuing to be just. So dumb. This episode was recorded on April 4, 2021. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that. P.S. You can get 15% off everything in our merch shop (including brand new SHORT KINGS FIGHT CLUB designs!) today, April 13, through Saturday, April 17. Timecodes: (05:46) Yahoo! Answers, RIP | (20:23) #ALLCAPS | (51:09) Elsewhere in the NHL | (1:16:35) Listener Q: Panda tending

You Can't Do That

#114: Beard Benching

"A case of the whoopsie sleepies." Do we want to kiss or slap the past week of NHL hockey? Hard to say. Eva, Rave, and Kelly chat about a string of Caps "wins," a range of player motivation "strategies," and whomst is most deserving of the label "coach's kid." Maybe we should dunk this one in a savory sauce and eat it in a single bite like a McNugget Minute instead. This episode was recorded on April 4, 2021.Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that. Timecodes: (02:33) Kiss Or Slap? | (10:35) #ALLCAPS | (50:47) Elsewhere in the NHL | (01:12:23) What's Your Position?

#113: The McNugget Manscape

"I am rigging the game right now." This week, Kelly, Rave, and Eva go long on bad reffing, bad commentary, good coaching, good trades, and - with apologies to our sweet Sabres buddies - the latest miserable lows of the Buffalo beat. Hockey is a cereal aisle and we are filling our cart. This episode was recorded on March 28, 2021. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that. Timecodes: (02:59) Listener Q: Soothing video content | (11:32) #ALLCAPS | (39:01) Elsewhere in the NHL & NWHL | (01:20:58) Short Kings Fight Club

#112: Eau du Heterosexuál

"It is the Smurfs that are wrong." Much hockey occurred in our two weeks away from the mics, some good (Ovi goals!), some alarming (...the Flyers.......y'all...). And yes, Rave and Eva and Kelly discuss those things. More important discussion items, though: Pokemon, vanity abs, potato florets, Smurf villainy, and Home Depot lesbians. This episode was recorded on March 21, 2021. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that. Timecodes: (05:35) Gotta Catch 'Em All | (18:53) #ALLCAPS | (49:49) Elsewhere in the NHL | (01:03:22) Doing Lines

#111: Eyes Wide Shut For Bros

"Love to watch a mean teen fight a sun bear." Eva, Kelly, and Rave contribute to the Tom Wilson hitscourse in this otherwise light n frivolous episode. Expect lots of birds, a trio of uninspired Scorpios, a frank assessment of the Napoleonic tactics, a tour of a gentle zoo, and - where you least expect it - a sidebar about human trafficking. Wait, sorry, that part's not light or frivolous either. (But it's not NOT.) This episode was recorded on March 7, 2021. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that. Timecodes: (03:34) Fightless Birds | (11:48) #ALLCAPS | (16:06) The Tom Wilson hitscourse | (35:25) More Caps stuff | (44:33) Rave's Enemy of the Week: Brad Marchand | (47:13) Elsewhere in the NHL | (59:25) NHL Unsolved | (01:11:47) Listener Q: Zoo stuff

#110: Debunk THIS

"Short Kings Fight Club. SKFC." Welcome to our anti-capitalist sports podcast, where this week Kelly, Rave, and Eva spend a not-insignificant amount of time picking names out of a hat to cast hockeys in the seminal motion picture Mean Girls. Other stuff: The Caps' mainstream horniness, Jeff "Scratch me one more time and see what happens" Skinner, spawn of TK, the Chicago hockey team, and so very much more.This episode was recorded on February 28, 2021. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that. Timecodes: (04:34) #ALLCAPS | (33:31) Elsewhere in the NHL | (01:03:04) Casting Couch

#109: Cruller Of The Month

On the discussion docket for Rave, Eva, and Kelly this week: several questionable Caps games, art modeling, Sid's celebration, sinister moose, furries, the Yotes' yikes, Lake Tahoe 'fits, and Rave's Enemy Song. We KNEW the unabated sunshine was a problem!! (This episode was recorded on February 21, 2021.)Timecodes:02:55 Listener Q: Art modeling 12:55 Interruption: This Week In Our Cats14:37 Art Modeling, continued 18:05 #ALLCAPS and some Pens 47:23 Elsewhere in the NHL52:46 Coyotes drama1:06:02 Bruins did a fun thing :(Support us on Patreon | Check out our merch

#108: Horse Girls Are Face Blind

This week, Eva, Kelly, and Rave grab their metaphorical craft supplies to make a valentine to weird blind dates, weird commentary on the all-Canada division, and weirdly specific warm-up jerseys. They do NOT make a valentine for the NHL. (This episode was recorded on February 14, 2021.)Timecodes:01:50 Mystery Date23:15 #ALLCAPS38:55 Elsewhere in the NHL49:20 Listener Qs: Line names; warmup jerseys vs. game jerseysSupport us on Patreon | Check out our merch

#107: Canuck Cuck for Tkachuk

Kelly, Eva, and Rave take a brief pause from talking self-deprecatingly about the Washington Capitals to be weird as hell about topics including high school theater, the Bruins, the Tkachuck Fucker map, and the Big Game (about which we know MANY things). (This episode was recorded on February 7, 2021.)Timecodes:03:26 Sorry, Eva: The Theater Game21:23 #ALLCAPS43:12 Elsewhere in the NHL1:03:53 Listener Q: East/West pairingsSupport us on Patreon, and check out the latest designs in our merch shop! 

#106: S*per B*wl S*turday

So many debacles to recap, so little time! Rave, Kelly, and Eva chat about weird but welcome Capitals wins, Zdeno's big goal, our friend Vitek Vanecek, and other news from the NHL. Plus: the (accidental) return of our Dreamboat of the Week segment. (This episode was recorded on January 31, 2021.)Timecodes:02:41 #ALLCAPS 42:08 Rangers update49:50 Kelly’s Dreamboat59:55 Elsewhere in the NHL01:08:48 NWHL! 01:14:51 Listener Q: Hockeys as historic lit charactersSupport us on Patreon, and check out the latest designs in our merch shop! 

#105: Colleague (Well Regarded)

Every day of this weird dumb season has contained a year's worth of joyous idiocy, bad takes, and y’know. Hockey. This week, Eva, Rave, and Kelly discuss the Caps being made an example of, PLD peace-ing out for the 'Peg, Carter Hart: Tantrum Thrower, and more. Plus: The NWHL BUBBLE, BABY! (This episode was recorded on January 24, 2020.)Timecodes:3:13 Ship Flag Communications 10:40 #ALLCAPS41:04 Elsewhere in the NHL 55:25 Listener Q: Eva’s teams to watch 67:08 NWHL!Support us on Patreon, and check out the latest designs in our merch shop! 

#104: Contemporize Your Shtick!

Support us on Patreon, and check out the latest designs in our merch shop! 

#103: Older, Bigger, Kinder

#102: Jams In The Stable

“What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?” by Barry PetcheskySupport us on Patreon, and check out the latest designs in our merch shop! 

#101: Dicking Around

#100: A Postmodern Breakdown

You Can’t Do That is a podcast about hockey from four women who have more opinions than information and LOTS of feelings about the Washington Capitals. These enthusiastically self-righteous idiots aren't here to win - they're here to make friends! (And talk about which hockey players are cats and which are dogs.) Join Catie, Eva, Kelly, and Rave every Wednesday for jokes and yelling about the latest league headlines, player antics, and more.

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You Can't Do That

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