Hello AWP Interns! This is just a quick announcement to let you all know that we've decided to bring this podcast to a close. We love you and are so grateful that you have helped us make this podcast the amazing thing that it is. We hope that you will stay in touch with each other in the AWP Interns Facebook group and that you'll join us when we embark on new projects. Our podcast will be up until June 1, so if you want to keep any episodes, download them before that time! Byyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeee!

Absolute Worst Podcast

Goodbye AWP!

Happy Holidays!! We are taking a brief hiatus, but we wanted to wish you all the best, and we hope everyone continues being 'the worst'. We love you and couldn't be more grateful for all of your support. Don't be a d*ck this holiday season!!! Xoxo, DP, Royer, & Sarah the Intern

**Holiday Hiatus Announcement**

Our guest this week is Nat Strawn. You may remember her as Alison’s mean, Pakistani Pilates Teacher. Nat is also a very funny comedian and social media goddess. You can check her out here, here, here, and here. During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, Nat helps us answer some listener questions and we begin by helping a woman who wants what she can’t have. We also try to set boundaries in an apartment dwelling and then try to convince another listener to go to a wedding. We end this episode with some of Nat’s Absolute Yoursts which results in Alison and Dana offering her a plethora of clearly needed therapy. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. If you are looking for a way to support us, you can donate to AWP here. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders.  In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 82: Nat Strawn

As usual, we’re off to a rocky start. After a harrowing beginning, we hear from a listener who’s crying through her homework, but she claims this is a good thing. We also hear back from the woman whose show we fixed via dialect coaching. She tells us all about her show in NY and you can learn more about her at her website: www.therachelstern.com. We also fan-girl over a woman who fan-girled over Tim Gunn and one of our listeners gives Alison a tip for cheaper pregnancy tests. We end the feedback section by discussing Alison’s enormous boobs. During the Absolute Worst Feedback section, we help a woman to GET OUT!!! And then we teach another woman that money is stupid. We end Episode 81 with an Absolute Yourst that reminds us to hate authority. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. If you are looking for a way to support us, you can donate to AWP here. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders.  In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 81: A Cauldron of Crazy

Alison begins Episode 80 by begging Dana to go to couple’s counseling. We also discuss baby shower etiquette and financial resentment. The Absolute Worst Feedback section begins with a podcast suggestion for Dana and this reminds Dana that her life is falling apart. We also hear back from the woman who was nervous about vacationing with her estranged father’s immediate family and turns out, she didn’t get murdered!!! We then hear from another woman with an absentee father and realize that we’re all in this together. In response to the Canadian Milkbag woman’s doping scandal, we meet a Las Vegas librarian who shares a drug information portal from The National Library of Medicine. Type any drug into the portal to see a list of side effects, why the drug is prescribed, etc. https://druginfo.nlm.nih.gov/drugportal/. We end the feedback section with a beautiful email from a woman who may have found love again…with her husband. During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we meet a woman who is real dumb (HER WORDS!). We also meet a hermit who is trying to spice up her life. We end this episode with an epic Absolute Yourst that involves a U-Haul, a lawsuit, and a marriage! Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. If you are looking for a way to support us, you can donate to AWP here. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders.  In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 80: The Angel & The Devil

We start Episode 79 by discussing babies, AWP merchandise and the new network that our podcast is a part of, Utter Clarity. We then jump over to the feedback section to get some more information about CBD oil and then Dana gets complimented on her birdcall. We also hear back from a woman regarding her mommy issues and another woman confirms that the name Weenie is pretty common. We end the feedback section by discussing our favorite topic — foreskins. Our first question is from a woman who is trying to navigate three relationships with three baby-daddies and while trying to offer a solution, Dana and Alison almost get divorced. We also try to determine whether or not unicorns are real. We end this episode by re-visiting Dana’s homeland, The Deep South. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. If you are looking for a way to support us, you can donate to AWP here. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders.  In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 79: Follow Your Dreams?

In Episode 78, several listeners beg us to share our thoughts on the current political climate — no. After we get that bullshit out of the way, we’re able to turn our attention to the bigger world topics like why it’s important to use Monistat chafing gel as a makeup primer and whether or not work slippers are appropriate. We also meet yet another listener who is reconnecting with previously unknown family members. We also meet a CysterSister and Alison once again attempts to start a dating site. During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we meet a woman who is grappling with meeting her biological father for the first time. AND WE MAYBE CHANGE DANA’S MIND THIS TIME! Afterwards we meet a miserable attorney whose life we potentially make worse. We end Episode 78 with an Absolute Yourst that brings the house down…or at least the sink. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. If you are looking for a way to support us, you can donate to AWP here. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders.  In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 78: Finding Our Families & Avoiding Politics

Episode 77 is entirely dedicated to feedback we received in response to Episode 65: Anxiety, Depression and a Buttwiper. We begin with an email from a woman who just wants to connect. We also hear back from our new favorite Missouri listener, a woman who was struggling with anxiety and also, BIG PEE PEE!!! We get a lot of helpful resources in Episode 77 which I’ve listed below: If you are struggling with your weight, please follow Ryan Woodall on Facebook or follow the hashtag #woodallweightlosssolutions. Self Determination Theory: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-determination_theory. For Veteran’s with PTSD: kelly@lonesurvivorfoundation.org Accelerated Resolution Therapy: https://acceleratedresolutiontherapy.com/ Enneagram: “The Wisdom of the Enneagram” can be found at https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/ Tapping or Emotional Freedom Technique: Learn more at http://www.nickortner.com/ Podcast: Jen Gotch Is Okay Sometimes. Episode: How to feel better right now. FB group Grown and Flown Parents, a community for parents of 15-25 year olds. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. If you are looking for a way to support us, you can donate to AWP here. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders.  In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 77: The Return Of Big Pee Pee

Our guest this week is Ayden Mayeri! You may recognize Ayden from New Girl, Workaholics, or Life in Pieces. Starting on November 2nd, you can watch her in Amazon’s Homecoming alongside Julia Roberts. In Episode 76 we discuss getting through college, marriage counseling and EMDR. During the Absolute Worst Therapy segment, Ayden helps our listeners lose weight for their weddings. She also helps us try to determine if our sexual partners are taking pictures of us and if it’s appropriate to live like a gypsy. We end with an Absolute Yourst that makes us not want to travel with Ayden in the future. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. If you are looking for a way to support us, you can donate to AWP here. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders.  In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 76: Ayden Mayeri

Dana is now a professional singer and Alison records this episode from deep REM sleep. As usual, WE GOT PRESENTS — this time in the form of candles. Please check out Burned Candles on Instagram @burned_candles or check out the Etsy Shop: www.etsy.com/shop/burnedcandlesco. Alison is in a dark place so we kick Episode 75 off with “Just Some Love” from an amazing AWP listener. We also hear from one of our Interns who points out that a massage parlor is impersonating us and we meet a woman who found her AWP soulmate on the subway. In response to Episode 39, a listener confirms that affairs are overrated. We kick off the Absolute Worst Therapy section with some Random Therapy Questions that demand answers. We also try to navigate how to deal with family judgment when wanting to remain childless and figuring out how to keep the peace with our in-laws, even when they act like fucking lunatics. We end Episode 75 with some wedding Yoursts and also a very special treat!!! Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. If you are looking for a way to support us, you can donate to AWP here. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders.  In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 75: I Literally Do

Steve Hytner is famously known for playing Kenny Bania on Seinfeld. His podcast, “That’s Gold with Steve Hytner” covers everything from sports betting to pop culture (thatsgold.gold). Before we begin, Steve shares a little bit about his 13-year-old son Jack’s fight against cancer. Steve has recently relocated from Reno, NV to Los Angeles in order to be nearer Children’s Hospital. You can donate to Jack at jackscavalry.com which is also where you can find Jack’s GoFundMe page. During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, Steve helps us figure out how to get people gifts, what we should do when people say they think you we don’t like them, and how to date a traumatized boyfriend. Episode 74 ends with a story that reinforces Alison’s belief that Dana is a horrible nanny. Also, Steve berates Alison and Alison is forced to eat her feelings. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. If you are looking for a way to support us, you can donate to AWP here. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders.  In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 74: Steve Hytner

Our guest this week is Molly Hawkey! Molly is famously known for editing herself into The Bachelor. She is also the creator/host of one of our favorite podcasts, Spermcast, which is Molly’s very personal quest to find a sperm donor. Spermcast was featured in both The Washington Post as well as The Huffington Post. You can listen to Spermcast here. In Episode 73, we discuss The Bachelor, getting older, and facing our fears. Molly also helps us answer some listener questions and we begin by discussing alcoholism…FUN! Afterwards, we help another listener determine whether or not she’s an awful person and then we cure anxiety. Molly insists that we end this episode with a listener Absolute Yourst which lends itself to us finding Alison and Dana’s Dallas, Texas baby! Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders.  In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 73: Molly Hawkey

Episode 72 starts off casually enough as we discuss the positive benefits of butter, hear some very pleasant listener feedback and find out we’re the heroes of an AA meeting. Afterwards, things take a turn when Alison accuses Dana of being from St. Louis. This episode continues to unravel when we read an email from our Virginia Intern. She has a lot of thoughts but Dana loses her mind upon receiving a few notes about our sound quality. In an attempt to calm her down, Alison reads additional listener email complaints re AWP sound. Who’s ready for some therapy!? We once again hear from the “Get Out Girl” who’s seeking additional professional help re laundry. Then we try to navigate another listener’s living situation. Unsurprisingly, we fail on both counts. Since nothing we do in this episode makes sense, we decide to end with yet another Absolute Yourst from everyone’s favorite Milk Bag Lady. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders.  In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 72: Sound Off!

EPISODE 71 – IT STARTED COMING OUT… In Episode 71, Republic Rob demands that everyone give us money, and who are we to argue? If you’d like to contribute to AWP, you can do so via the following links: https://www.patreon.com/absoluteworstpodcast or https://www.gofundme.com/absolute-worst-crowdfunding. During the Absolute Worst Feedback section, we meet a woman who helped Alison escape from the cops and another woman who hates coughers. We also again ask, “Why Me?” Afterwards, in the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we help a young person navigate the new school year and, as always, convince another listener to quit her job. Finally, Alison meets her spirit animal and encourages her to stop sleeping with everyone. We end Episode 71 with an international Yourst that gives us the poop sweats. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 71: It Started Coming Out...

In Episode 70, we focus on helping others by dedicating our entire episode to feedback! We kick it off with some gifts we received from Lanae at Medical Monkeys! Every time you send a Medical Monkey to a loved one, a $10 donation gets made to a charity. Find out more at medicalmonkeys.com. We then do a series of shout-outs per our listener demands and Alison realizes that she’s single-handedly keeping The Public Theater afloat. We also get some feedback about apps Dana will like, crafting support and Gluten. Another listener writes in response to Episode 21 and shares a very honest story about her struggles with suicide. The Absolute Worst Feedback continues with a response to Episode 31, wherein we discuss maintaining friendships in the face of political differences. We also get a response to Episodes 35 & 36 where a listener tells Alison to be nicer to her husband and Episode 49 where another listener asks us all to visualize the hole. Finally, we realize that we’re destroying the Marine Corps. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders.  In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 70: Absolute Worst Feedback- Part II

Each week on The Absolute Worst Podcast, Dana Powell (Successful Comedian/Actor/Writer, Adequate Mom) and Alison Royer (Fledgling Comedian/Actor/Writer, Terrible Wife) seek and give free therapy by telling you their problems, asking you to tell them your problems, and then they just pray to God that any of it works out. They're basically the opposite of Oprah.

hubhopper

Absolute Worst Podcast

hubhopper