Hey, Heifers! I will be attending She Podcasts Live next week, an awesome, women-led podcast conference, so I wanted to make this episode part life update, part Angus Eye Tea intro in case I don't have time to do a real one before I head out. I talk about the rough patch I’m in and how October is sort of my make or break month for EVERYTHING. NO PRESSURE HA HA HA.  I’m so excited to see my friends and hopefully find my spark again at this conference. It helped me so much last time. Can’t wait to tell you all about it! Moo, Elaine TIMESTAMPS 00:00 This episode is a lead up to She Podcast Live! 2021, my hopes and dreams for the conference, and trying to figure out what my next step in life is. 3:00 A quick recap on who I am and what this podcast is about! Specifically 2021: quit my job,  9:15 My tarot has been really spooky lately. 12:00 I’m stressed about not having my episode of Sloshbucklers ready in time. I’ve been sitting on it for about six months. Eek. 14:00 My writing senses are back on! NaNoWriMo is around the corner!  17:30 The continued fatigue of the pandemic. Thanks, Delta and anti-vaxxers. 20:00ish I am having good days, though! 21:15 I don’t want you to get the impression that my life is all rainbows and candy just because I come on here and giggle. 24:00 Outro! *** If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving it a review! It also is incredibly helpful for me to hear what is resonating with you, so feel free to DM me! You can find the show notes for this episode at www.anguseyetea.com.  Follow me on Insta and Twitter @AngusEyeTea. Email: anguseyetea@gmail.com Want additional content including a secret blog? Check out my Patreon at www.patreon.com/anguseyetea!  I am not a health professional. I am simply someone who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Please talk to your friends, family, teachers, doctor, trusted human, etc. if you need help. I also have a resources page on my website that can direct you to different hotlines, therapy websites, and more at https://anguseyetea.com/resources/

Angus Eye Tea: Anxiety, Depression, And Other Cheerful Topics

Just Trudging Through a Rough Patch, Don't Mind Me

Hey, Heifers! Being “left on read” can feel awful. You text someone, they read the response, and then...nothing. You wait and wait and wait, yet hear no reply, even though they’ve 110% read your message. Anxiety levels INCREASED. However, today I’m going to share with you my philosophies on being left on read, as well as if you’re the person leaving people on read. Mental health can get in the way of things like responding to our friends and family, so there are a lot of layers to look at here! Thanks for listening and have a lovely day! Moo, Elaine TIMESTAMPS 1:27 Tech companies want us to be constantly engaging with our phones/their apps because it means they make more money. I think that has trickled down to us feeling we have to respond to texts and messages immediately because of the idea of falling behind or not keeping up.  [I’m tired, I’ll add in the rest of these later lololol 

"Left On Read" Anxiety

Hey, Heifers! Phone calls are not my favorite thing in the world. I tend to feel put on the spot and usually think I'm going to sound like an idiot. But, over the years I've built up some phone call skillz and thought I'd share some of my tips with you! Mostly, just know that it's okay if you hate phone calls. But hey, if you're reading this, go ahead and make that phone call you've been putting off! I believe in you! Moo, Elaine TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Calling all phone-call-phobes! 1:22 Texting has helped reduce the amount of phone calls we’ve had to escape. But that also means we’re a little more rusty at dealing with phone calls. Most likely the phone calls we’re having to deal with are business or appointment wise (doctor stuff, prescriptions, insurance, etc.).  6:04 Make a script for your call! 11:16 Don’t sweat what customer service thinks of you. They’re most likely working from a script as well and have been asked everything under the sun. Kindness goes a long way! 14:15 Make your phone call in a cozy/safe environment (in bed, your torture chamber, McDonald’s bathroom, etc.). 15:17 Also, you can come up with contingency plans. The final escape. 16:21 The phone call anxiety gets better the more you do it. I’ve personally become more comfortable asking questions and that’s really helped me feel more confident going into more phone calls.  17:42 What’s the worst that could happen? They either don’t know the answer to your question or the person is blunt. If anyone is rude to you, you have a choice to not return to those establishments, hang up, or compartmentalize the call and remember that they do not define your worth or character!  20:37 Also, it’s okay if you never feel comfortable making a phone call! There are things in this life that we just find yucky no matter what. But it can get better and manageable with work (def recommend therapy--again, I’m not a professional). 18:43 Don’t sit on a call. The longer you wait, the worse your anxiety becomes. 21:51 Outro! Stay safe, Heifers! *** If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving it a review! It also is incredibly helpful for me to hear what is resonating with you, so feel free to DM me! You can find the show notes for this episode at www.anguseyetea.com.  Follow me on Insta and Twitter @AngusEyeTea. Email: anguseyetea@gmail.com Want additional content including a secret blog? Check out my Patreon at www.patreon.com/anguseyetea!  I am not a health professional. I am simply someone who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Please talk to your friends, family, teachers, doctor, trusted human, etc. if you need help. I also have a resources page on my website that can direct you to different hotlines, therapy websites, and more at https://anguseyetea.com/resources/  

Tips for Dealing with Phone Call Phobia

Hey, Heifers! Today, I chat about the unexpected twists that happen in our lives and how we handle them. I reflect on what I said last episode, and what I’ve been saying over the summer, and how it all hits a little different now. I hope you enjoy the episode! Moo, Elaine TIMESTAMPS 00:00 I had a WONDERFUL surprise happen to me last week! 5:51 I’ve had a lot of unexpected pivots recently. I was already wheeling from my recent life changes (moving, new job). And now, something that was completely out of my control has happened to me. I’m working on accepting that I can’t always control the situation but it’s hard to digest that idea. 8:45 My coping mechanism as of now is trying to be present.  10:36 I’ve been trying new things in my life, one of them being ice skating! In South Carolina! During the summer!  14:08 I swear, the Universe is thwarting this podcast with all these life changes lol. I’m excited because I now have things in my life that require a planner which means I CAN BUY 10 PLANNERS NOW HA HA HA HA THAT’S A SANE THING TO DO. 15:33 Back to being in the present and battling freak-out mode with everything-is-obviously-fine-hahaha. 16:45 I’m really grateful, especially for sweatpants. 22:42 Outro! *** If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving it a review! It also is incredibly helpful for me to hear what is resonating with you, so feel free to DM me! You can find the show notes for this episode at www.anguseyetea.com.  Follow me on Insta and Twitter @AngusEyeTea. Email: anguseyetea@gmail.com Want additional content including a secret blog? Check out my Patreon at www.patreon.com/anguseyetea!  I am not a health professional. I am simply someone who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Please talk to your friends, family, teachers, doctor, trusted human, etc. if you need help. I also have a resources page on my website that can direct you to different hotlines, therapy websites, and more at https://anguseyetea.com/resources/

Handling the Unexpected Pivots in Your Life

Hey, Heifers! ANGUS EYE TEA IS THREE YEARS OLD. HOLY COW. MOO. I’m blown away. Hitting year one was cool. Year two was like, wowowowowow wild. But three years? So much has happened! I skimmed through my episodes and it’s wild to think that I used to eat blocks of cheese for dinner. Now I accompany them with a slice of bread! I figured I’d talk about how I managed to keep this podcast running for three years, especially since my mental health took some dips here and there. Thanks for listening and being the best Heifer around 

3rd Anniversary: How I’ve Kept This Podcast Afloat While Dealing with Mental Health

Hey, Heifers! Yeah, remember how two weeks ago I was all like, “I’m back, better than ever! Yay! Ready for a regular schedule!” And then I just didn’t post at all last week? Well, that is because every undecided thing in my life suddenly made a decision. At the same time. In the span of two weeks, I’ve moved and started a new job. This episode is incredibly rambly, even by my standards, so hang in there! I *will* be back next week as promised. Moo, Elaine TIMESTAMPS 1:30 I moved and I have a new job! 2:34 I thought I would be a lot more emotional considering the big life changes I’ve undergone, but so far I’m doing a-okay. 7:00ish Having a roommate for the first time in four years. 10:15 While everything has been a lot, it’s also all felt right. Clicking into place. 12:20 I’m still incredibly confused about my life. We’re on a path now that I never considered. It’s like I’m experiencing a new color. 17:05 Hoping that having a job will force a routine, keep my brain awake, and let me get back to creating for Sloshbucklers and adding more to my Patreon. 18:53 Outro! *** If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving it a review! It also is incredibly helpful for me to hear what is resonating with you, so feel free to DM me! You can find the show notes for this episode at www.anguseyetea.com.  Follow me on Insta and Twitter @AngusEyeTea. Email: anguseyetea@gmail.com Want additional content including a secret blog? Check out my Patreon at www.patreon.com/anguseyetea!  I am not a health professional. I am simply someone who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Please talk to your friends, family, teachers, doctor, trusted human, etc. if you need help. I also have a resources page on my website that can direct you to different hotlines, therapy websites, and more at https://anguseyetea.com/resources/

Freaking Out About Not Freaking Out | New Move, New Job

Hey, Heifer! I’VE RETURNED! Two months flew by and so much happened. I originally recorded this on July 24th and already I’ve had two major life changes I can’t wait to tell you about. In this episode, I regale you with  my pod break and what I’ve come to learn during the Life Sabbatical (and if you’re new, I basically quit my corporate job in January to figure out my life and it’s been a hoot and a half lol). Everything is chaotic right now for me so I’m glad to have Angus Eye Tea back in my schedule to ground me! Have a lovely week, Heifer! Moo, Elaine TIMESTAMPS 1:37 What happened during my two month break? 2:11 For starters, I got older and entered my *gasp* late twenties. 9:19 Remember how I said I was going to write a book? 13:00ish Remember how we need money to survive in this capitalistic society? Here’s an update on my job hunt emotions. 18:50 I feel like I’ve finally woken up since January. 20:37 I missed podcasting! Also, the fear of taking a break and never coming back.  22:45 (I, uh, broke my no-caffeine streak and it’s been catastrophic.). 25:11 In conclusion… 27:18 Outro! *** If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving it a review! It also is incredibly helpful for me to hear what is resonating with you, so feel free to DM me! You can find the show notes for this episode at www.anguseyetea.com.  Follow me on Insta and Twitter @AngusEyeTea. Email: anguseyetea@gmail.com Want additional content including a secret blog? Check out my Patreon at www.patreon.com/anguseyetea!  I am not a health professional. I am simply someone who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Please talk to your friends, family, teachers, doctor, trusted human, etc. if you need help. I also have a resources page on my website that can direct you to different hotlines, therapy websites, and more at https://anguseyetea.com/resources/

Is The Life Sabbatical Over? (I'm back!)

Hey, Heifer! Today, I’m going to tell you how my May went, talk a bit about June, but overall I’m going to casually mention that I’m, um, taking a break from Angus Eye Tea until August :). You know me, so good at taking breaks. Letting go of that perfectionist tendency ha ha ha. Seriously though, I’m excited to rest and come back better than ever! I’ll be active on my Patreon at www.patreon.com/anguseyetea where you can hop in for $2! Until then, have a lovely Gemini season and best of luck with that Mercury in retrograde crap. Moo, Elaine TIMESTAMPS 2:27 May - I learned what I want to do and it sent me into a dark depression. YAY. 11:57 Reviewing my May goals lmao. 15:47 Let’s talk about June! 17:31 I’m taking a hiatus from Angus Eye Tea until August. Here’s why. 27:00 Me being dramatic to tide you over for the next few months. SEE YA IN AUGUST! *** If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving it a review! It also is incredibly helpful for me to hear what is resonating with you, so feel free to DM me! You can find the show notes for this episode at www.anguseyetea.com.  Follow me on Insta and Twitter @AngusEyeTea. Email: anguseyetea@gmail.com Want additional content including a secret blog? Check out my Patreon at www.patreon.com/anguseyetea!  I am not a health professional. I am simply someone who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Please talk to your friends, family, teachers, doctor, trusted human, etc. if you need help. I also have a resources page on my website that can direct you to different hotlines, therapy websites, and more at https://anguseyetea.com/resources/

TTYL, Heifers!

Heyyyyy Heifer! Quarantine seems to be slowly ending and it’s been weirder than I thought it would be. Like, I knew I’d be socially rusty and would have to remember how to order food, etc. But I wasn’t expecting to have weird depression, or that my brain would short circuit and make it feel like things had always stayed open and that the last 1.5 years didn’t happen. So I figured I’d talk about that whiplash today! Enjoy this episode and get vaccinated! Moo, Elaine TIMESTAMPS 00:00 No masks, no problems? LOL. 01:23 The transition from 1.5 years of quarantine to pre-COVID routines is so weird to me. It feels like quarantine has gone by in the wink of an eye, like I want to forget all this ever happened. 06:10 For so long we’ve had external stressors affecting us that we may have never acknowledged or processed.  08:09 With things opening again, and us getting to return to our old habits/routines/haunts, there’s this fear that it will get taken away again. 12:01 Some people are going to adjust faster than others (or that’s how it may seem!).  13:15 I’ve had another wave of depression and I think part of it is the overwhelming idea of getting to “come back” to life even though I’ve continued to live life? Like, quarantine wasn’t a pause. We kept going. How do I merge the two? 17:36 TLDR: It’s really okay if your feelings about quarantine ending are: scared, happy, worried, depressed, anxious, elated, overwhelmed, etc. 19:11 My weird outro where today’s scenario is that you get a kickass MEET CUTE OMG HEART EYES. *** If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving it a review! It also is incredibly helpful for me to hear what is resonating with you, so feel free to DM me! You can find the show notes for this episode at www.anguseyetea.com.  Follow me on Insta and Twitter @AngusEyeTea. Email: anguseyetea@gmail.com Want additional content including a secret blog? Check out my Patreon at www.patreon.com/anguseyetea!  I am not a health professional. I am simply someone who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Please talk to your friends, family, teachers, doctor, trusted human, etc. if you need help. I also have a resources page on my website that can direct you to different hotlines, therapy websites, and more at https://anguseyetea.com/resources/

The (Almost) End of Quarantine Whiplash

Hey, Heifer. It’s 1:00 a.m oops. I’m hanging out with my friends and I’m tired which is ironic because this episode is about striving for a healthier sleep routine. But here we are. Mmm. I can’t tell you how hard it is to write this little paragraph that no one reads after midnight. What’s the point? Who am I? Why don’t I call pancakes flap jacks? Flap jacks sounds way cooler. I’m hungry and I want pancakes. Shit, FLAP JACKS. Okay, I’m off to bed lolol jk I’m still listening to the episode and doing timestamps. This hell will never end.  Moo, Elaine Want additional content including a secret blog? Check out my Patreon at www.patreon.com/anguseyetea!  TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Zzzzzzz I’m not a health professional zzzzz feel free to take a nap during this episode zzzzzzzz. 1:13 I have a negative thought pattern that nighttime is my only chance to be happy and the daytime is EVIL. Thus, I stay up late, ruin my sleep cycle, and end up being even more depressed/anxious during the day. 2:40 Notification Fatigue. The fear of being left “on read.” 5:24 Sleep is one of the biggest influences on my mental health. That knowledge stressed me out so much that I suddenly had alarm anxiety. (“Will my alarm go off?” Jerking awake throughout the night thinking I’ve missed my alarm, etc.). 8:58 I’m a night owl and I adjust way too quickly to staying up until 4 a.m. I’m energized by the idea that no one can interrupt me, flashbacks to secret staying up past my bedtime as a kid to read books by a flashlight, etc. 10:38 Recently, my depression has thrown a wrench in my sleep schedule. Obviously the physical symptoms, but I’ve been ignoring tasks and the stress builds up the longer I put them off (and then I do them and it takes me, like, 15 minutes lol).   12:40 Losing sleep over the idea that I will immediately ruin my morning which will then ruin my day :). 15:30 All of this to say, what happens during my day and my thought patterns greatly affect how I go about my sleep. 18:00 Depression makes me want to do less so my body and brain aren’t getting worked out which means there’s nothing tiring me out. 20:00 Dumb thoughts while staring at the ceiling, like fake arguments and disaster scenarios that aren’t real. 24:00 So now I’ve annoyed myself enough about not sleeping and trying to be healthier that I'm finally taking action lol. Reframing the why helped--I want to wake up to be more productive vs. this is actually more about me not wanting to accept that I have a mental health disorder that will be with me for life. 27:30 Thanks for listening! Lovies to my Patrons: KT & Oti, Vanessa, Rachel, Laura, and Taylor! 

I'm Tired of Not Sleeping : Fatigue and Depression

Want additional content including a secret blog? Check out my Patreon at www.patreon.com/anguseyetea!  Hey, Heifer! I recently cut caffeine out of my life so I could manage my anxiety and I realized it can be a little daunting to embark on such a journey. What drinks secretly have caffeine? What can I use as replacements? Do I gain superpowers now or something? I’ve gathered some of my favorite caffeine alternatives that I enjoy (I’m not a nutritionist though so beware). Also, you can be anxious and enjoy your three cups of coffee a day. You can enjoy whatever level of caffeine works for you! We’re all built differently so at the end of the day, live your best life. Right now for me that means not adding something that heightens my gross ass symptoms :). Moo, Elaine TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Feel free to fall asleep while listening. I start off by listing my vices. 6:10 Water. Yes, H2O. I’m a genius, I know. 7:25 The drink that makes me think of Beyonce and misleading decaf labels. 14:25 What’s the tea? 17:53 Seltzer vs. soda (RIP Diet Coke). 19:46 Options that don’t require drinking or eating! 25:27 At the end of the day, just check in with yourself. Why are you having caffeine? When? How does it make you feel? 27:08 Thanks for listening! Lovies to my Patrons: KT & Oti, Vanessa, Rachel, Laura, and Taylor! 

My Favorite Caffeine Alternatives

Want additional content including a secret blog? Check out my Patreon at www.patreon.com/anguseyetea!  Hey, Heifer! New month, new goals! I genuinely had no idea May had started. I think I've been living in a perpetual March. Sigh. This month's goals focus a lot on my art. I feel like I'm turning everything into a chore these days so I want to make sure I keep my cReAtIvE sPiRiT alive. And then, of course, I have a car related goal. Are we surprised? My April wasn't great but also every month has its ups and downs. I hope your May is looking bright and beautiful! We can dooooo this, Heifers! Moo, Elaine TIMESTAMPS 00:00 I start the episode off by singing a not Dolly Parton song not called Silver and Gold. Ahem. 1:06 Welcome to the monthly goals series!  2:21 How did April go? Check your nearest drain.  6:40 April Goal 1: Do my taxes 7:58 April Goal 2: Earn money lol 14:50 April Goal 3: Go on three nature outings 16:37 Onward to May! 17:44 May Goal 1: Start The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron 21:24 May Goal 2: Write every day 23:57 May Goal 3: Give my 14 year-old car its first car wash lolololol 27:30 Let’s put out some good vibes for May! (she said in desperation). 29:47 A snazzy outro! Thanks for listening! Lovies to my Patrons: KT & Oti, Vanessa, Rachel, Laura, and Taylor! 

May Goals: A Write of Passage

Hey, Heifer! I’ve been struggling lately. I’m in a depressive episode and on top of that I’ve been agonizing over my future. Like, truly agonizing. I’m pretty sure I’m losing sleep over it. And the main reason why is that I have put so much pressure on myself to figure it all out right now. Or soon. Or really ever. And it feels like I’ll never figure it out, which means I’m afraid to move forward, which means I’m beating myself up for not moving forward, I get paralyzed, etc. etc. etc. Today is a think-out-loud episode about why I do this to myself and ways I can try to navigate these negative thought patterns. Enjoy! Moo, Elaine Want additional content including a secret blog and videos? Check out my Patreon at www.patreon.com/anguseyetea! TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Somehow, I recorded this episode without making a single Queen joke. 2:25 I put too much pressure on myself and it’s the main source of my anxiety/depression these days. 4:58 Almost five months into my Life Sabbatical and the pressure is rising (mostly from me). Other things have piled onto this crap heap as time has progressed. Yayy. 11:15 How can I fight those nagging questions my brain asks that put me down? What’s next? Why don’t I have a plan? What am I doing with my life? 15:33 Trying to work backwards on my racing thoughts. If I want to live my life with x, y, and z, then how much do I need to earn? Where do I need to live? 21:46 Riding the waves where I feel EMPOWERED and MIGHTY. Do things with intention. Help my brain realize that, yes, I am doing things! I know I can’t just flip a switch and make my depression disappear, but I’m no longer going to feed into excessive wallowing on top of my depression (or do my best!). 27:55 Thanks for listening! Lovies to my Patrons: KT & Oti, Vanessa, Rachel, Laura, and Taylor! 

Over Pressured, Underwhelmed: The Burdens We Place on Ourselves

Want additional content including a secret blog and videos? Check out my Patreon at www.patreon.com/anguseyetea!  Hey, Heifer! Once upon a time, I was a Girl Scout. As such, it was my duty to sell Girl Scout cookies. Selling did not come naturally to me yet every year I would drag my dad with me around the neighborhood trying to sell enough cookies to win whatever prize the head organization was offering. Later, I wrote a personal essay about the experience and today I am doing a dramatic reading of it! If you want to read the piece as well as see exclusive Brownie Elaine photos, head over to my Patreon. Enjoy! Moo, Elaine TIMESTAMPS 00:00 My journey with the Girl Scouts of America and what led me to writing a series of essays about that part of my life lol. 7:57 The dramatic reading of Do-Si-Dos and Do-Si-Dont’s 13:05 The power of capitalism begins to change me. 15:03 One perk: snooping on my neighbors. 17:54 The demonic cookie costumes.  20:15 The glorious beach towel victory. 20:37 Story debrief and overall thoughts on reviewing our past (very meta here since I’m looking at my childhood and myself from a few years ago when I wrote this story). 23:05 Thanks for listening! Lovies to my Patrons: KT & Oti, Vanessa, Rachel, Laura, and Taylor! 

Do-Si-Dos and Do-Si-Dont’s: A Dramatic Reading of My Time Selling Girl Scout Cookies

Want additional content including a secret blog and videos? Check out my Patreon at www.patreon.com/anguseyetea!  Hey, Heifer! I’m depressed! I know, such a shocker. Me? Depressed? I never talk about mental health. Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Anyway, over the years I’ve come to learn that I’m not very nice to myself when I’m depressed. If I accomplish anything less than 100 percent, I consider myself a failure. Can’t vacuum the entire house? May as well not bother. Can’t clean the kitchen? No point in trying. But that is where my life hacks come in! Procrastination really helped me discover these depression loopholes that I’ve found work for me. I’m not a medical professional so please don’t take this as official advice! We all work differently and what may work for me may not for you and vice versa! Mostly, I wanted to share my experience so you can see that yes, you can slowly walk through the murk of depression. Have a lovely day, Heifer! Moo, Elaine TIMESTAMPS 00:00 I talk about a Depression Goose a lot in this episode and I’d like to go ahead and apologize. I have never compared my depression to a goose. I don’t know what came over me. 02:40 What my depression symptoms look like and how I can hack them.   06:41 My depression hacks focus on the domino effect theory: If I can make myself do a portion of a task, then that helps me get more and more done. Give yourself some grace. 10:47 Write down things you’ve accomplished to fight the “not enough” thought pattern. 11:49 Cleaning hacks. 14:14 Grocery runs and eating meals other than chips. 17:47 I haven’t been sleeping. End up on a strange tangent. 20:39 Caffeine makes my depression worse, but when I feel tired from my depression I want it. When I have it, it affects my sleep. A vicious cycle is born! 21:37 Okay, I finally get to some sleep hacks. 24:15 Movement! Not necessarily exercise, but ways to still find movement in your day. 27:09 Find a routine that works for your depression! 28:49 Rapid-fire life hacks: Look at your credit cards; take the path of least resistance; don’t overcomplicate it; water, food, clothes, shower, etc. 31:30 Thanks for listening! Lovies to my Patrons: KT & Oti, Vanessa, Rachel, Laura, and Taylor! 

Depression Loopholes: Life Hacks for Depressive Episodes

The no bull podcast about all things anxiety, depression & other cheerful topics.

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Angus Eye Tea: Anxiety, Depression, And Other Cheerful Topic...

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