“Collecting penises is like collecting anything. You can never stop, you can never catch up, you can always get a new one, a better one.” -Siguróur Hjartarson The Icelandic Phallological Museum is exactly what it sounds like- a museum about penises. But there's more to this weird story than just dicks. Actually, there isn't. It's just a bunch of dicks. Join us as we explore the museum and the saga of it's quest for a human penis.

Coffee Donuts & F****d Up S**t

For the Love of Dicks: The Icelandic Phallological Museum

Who's the biggest piece of shit in history this time? Join us for our 2nd annual Flim Flam Bowl, where we pit liars, murderers, cheats, con men and flim flammers against each other. Who will emerge victorious? Who will have the most dick jokes? Team Tilton or Team Burge? A flim flammer of the most evil nature, Jon Burge was a con man of a cop who would solve crimes by any means necessary, especially if those means involved torture. For twenty-years, Burge was publically known as one of the most successful, admirable, and decorated police officers on the entire Chicago P.D. force. But privately, he was responsible for ruining the lives of entire generations of innocent black men, whom only a percentage of finally found any form of redemption when the dust settled.  During the 80’s and 90’s, the airwaves were plagued by a foul scourge known as the televangelist. And just like some kind of weird monster from the X-Files, televangelists can never truly be destroyed. They just scurry off into their Marcus-holes for 27 years and come back with plastic surgery and some hair plugs. This is the story of how we almost managed to take one down- The Reverend Robert Tilton aka Pastor Bob.

Flim Flam Bowl II - Robert Tilton VS Jon Burge

Double Dare is just a massive success story. Running from 1986 to 1993 with approximately 525 episodes under its belt, Double Dare more than tripled Nickelodeon’s viewership almost instantly. Double Dare spawned spin-offs, rip-offs, international versions, a live road show, 2 revivals, shit tons of merchandising and countless parodies. 

Do You Double Dare Me Part 2

Truthfully, Double Dare is just a massive success story. Running from 1986 to 1993 with approximately 525 episodes under its belt, Double Dare more than tripled Nickelodeon’s viewership almost instantly. Double Dare spawned spin-offs, rip-offs, international versions, a live road show, 2 revivals, shit tons of merchandising and countless parodies.

Do You Double Dare Me? Part 1

People have been fascinated with mummies for centuries. And why not? Mummies are mystical and mysterious and great for movies starring Brenden Frasier. But mummies weren't just mysterious, they were useful- from paint to medicine to linen for paper, join us we explore the many uses of Mummy papers.

Missing Fingers, Tater-tot Suppositories and Mummy Papers

People have been casting out demons since before Christ was born. While we attribute the act of an exorcism with Catholicism, the act of expelling evil spirits out of “possessed” individuals has been traced back to everywhere from Ancient Mesopotamia to Hindus in 1500 B.C. But in the 20th Century (and even present day), the “theatrics” of tossing holy water and screaming Bible passages at the so called “Damned” has seen a resurgence, predominantly due to pop culture’s fascination with this religious ritual, as well as the rise of the religious right in the eighties and the past four years. In this episode, the Coffee Donuts & F***ed Up S*** gang examines the origins of America’s fascination with exorcisms, from the famous cases that inspired all the popular movies and novels, to the infamous frauds (or crusaders, depending on your spiritual beliefs and intelligence levels) who have made a living discharging the devil, listen on as we explore the ever-booming exorcism industry on Coffee Donuts & F***ed Up S***!

Exorcisms Schmexorcisms

Shocking, haunting, and downright disturbing are the only words that can describe this episode. We can’t even go over any details of this episode in this episode description, because revealing any features or topics of discussion from this recording would simply turn scorch anyone who is reading this episode description’s eyeballs out. It will chill you to the marrow.  Be warned, once you hear it you won't be able to unhear it! You may find yourself struggling with the concept of what is good and evil, right and wrong, up and down, BLACK, WHITE, WET, DRY... well you get the idea. It's a lot like that Christmas Eve when your uncle showed you that strange box of polaroids he keeps hidden under his bed at your grandmother's house. Tantalizingly yet, verboten! This episode will perpetually gnaw on the back of your mind and leave you questioning everything that you deem to be sane and good in the world around you. It is savage, it is unrelenting and it will remain with you now and forever.  We here at Coffee Donuts stand by our reporting, and know that you listeners deserve the truth about what’s really happening in our world. Join us in our most fucked up episode ever as we explore the unheard of and tie the strings of this controversial topic.

Our Most F**ked Up Episode Ever

Is your boner weird? Take comfort, my friend. You're not alone. Nature is full of weird boners and I can guarantee you that your boner is practically normal next to these ones. Join us as we touch on a few of the weirdest boners in the animal kingdom.

I was a Teenage Smut Peddler, Cuba Gooding Jr. and Wild Boners

What's the most fucked up thing you've ever seen?  Was it a fucked up movie? Or maybe your creepy uncle's puppet show?  Have you ever been woken up by someone, asking you if you're awake?  Happy Halloween Shitheads!

Nightmare in Chi-Town

Happy Halloween from Coffee Donuts and Fu*ked up Sh*t!!!                        The Monster Rash I was drinking one night, and looking for ass,  So I came to a party with my werewolf mask,  The music was groovy as I sipped from my flask,  Then I reached in my wallet but couldn’t find no cash!  Had to earn my pussy, so I turned on the class, Then I approached this vampire while stroking my stash,  She started licking her lips in her assless chaps,  She said hey there Wolfie, how bout I give you a rash!  It was the monster rash  It was an oozing gash  She kept telling me “Relax!”  That’s the last time I’ll smash  Things were getting very steamy, and I felt a connection,  My pants got all creamy, but I wasn’t wearing protection,  When I pulled out, green goo poured out my erection,  She started howling with laughter at my newfound infection!  I was screaming in pain as me pee pee was burning  When I streamed my main vein, it was like bloody butter churning,  My cream poured like acid rain, my urethra kept hurting,   And all I had to blame was my horny monster flirting!!  It was the monster rash  It came on like a flash How long will this past? I should’ve dressed like Slash I woke up in the morning and I tried to pee, but instead I started mourning and discharging dick cheese,  I poured whiskey on my junk and tried to light it on fire,  But nothing was working, the rash only grew higher!  I went to the doctor and guess what he told me,  He said your pee pee is broken, then some drugs he did sold me,  I popped all the pills so my ding dong stopped stinging  But even to this day, I can never stop singing!  It was the monster rash  All over my moustsche  Like Crosby stills and Nash  I don’t have long to last! 

The Monster Rash

Over the course of his fifteen years as Rainbow Man, Rollen Stewart went through three nicknames, eighty rainbow afro wigs, attended countless sporting events and earned himself three life sentences in prison.  He's also the man who's responsible for making the Bible verse John 3:16 a permanent fixture in professional sports. 

For Rainbow Man So Loved The Word

The bizarre cargo cults of the South Pacific developed shortly after WWII. The islanders believed that if proper ceremonies were performed shipments of riches would arrive from some heavenly place. The Urantia Foundation is a group of worshippers who believe celestial beings communicated through an unconfirmed or anonymous source to dictate "The Urantia Book."

Cargo Cults of the South Pacific VS The Urantia Foundation in F**ked Up Religions Part 2

An extreme sector of Hinduism, the Aghori Sadhus (Aghoris) essentially believe God exists in everything, whether it be the birth of a child or a piece of Goat shit. Nothing is unholy, everything is sacred. Their overall goal is to achieve a simple and natural state of consciousness, void of fear or disgust, hence why they perform extreme, bizarre, and vulgar rituals, seemingly practiced to push the boundaries of conceptualized societal norms, almost in an effort to enhance their isolation by putting other “conformists” off. Founded in 1954 by Ernest and Ruth Norman, the Unarius Academy of Science is a religion based on karma, psychic channelling, reincarnation and aliens. The members of this church spend their time wearing fabulous costumes and performing psychodramas as they eagerly await the arrival of The Space Brothers.

The Aghoris VS The Unarius Academy of Science in F**ked Up Religions Part 1

Eben Byers was a fancy pants golfer, a socialite and a ladies man. He was educated at Yale and most notably was the US Amateur Golf Champion of 1906.  But when he fell from a train and hurt his arm, nothing seemed to ease his pain until a doctor introduced him to Radithor: Pure Sunshine in a Bottle.  Which eventually lead to this headline in The Wall Street Journal - “The Radium Water Worked Fine Until His Jaw Came Off”  The Radium Girls were nicknamed the “Ghost Girls” because by the end of their shifts, they would glow in the dark.  They were employed by the United States Radium Company, painting watch dials for WWI trench soldiers with a faintly glowing paint called Undark. The paint consisted of radium salts, zinc sulfide, and glue and was created by Dr. Sabin A. Von Sochocky. 

Radium Girls, Eben Byers and the Story of the song Headstrong

At the turn of the 20th century, the craze for radium spread like cancer. In fact, it also spread a bunch of cancer. Just another rung on the ladder of failure, Radium led society down a dark and troubling path- one that even it’s glow in the dark properties could not hope to brighten. Part one of two

Radium and The Credible Hulk

A comedy podcast that explores the dark underbelly of a wide range of topics with a combination of solid research, social commentary and general hilarity.

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Coffee Donuts & F**d Up St

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