This week I want to talk about how to handle other people’s problems.As our world has been turned upside-down nearly over night, a lot of people are struggling. In a lot of ways we are experiencing an exaggerated response to change that has happened too quickly.As we walk through this pandemic, we can learn a lot about how people respond to change. We can’t know all the different ways people respond to change. There are simply too many variables. But we can hone our ability to be compassionate. If you are going to lead effectively at any point, you’ll need to develop the ability to listen before you feel. A lot of people are being thrown in to tech.for a season, ministry is happening through techfacetime calls, zoom meetings, services streaming on weekendshigh discomfort for somelearning new things is scarysometimes we can’t grasp itnow the tool is the prohibitive element in our ability to minister meaningfullyFor some, they feel that their ability to grasp tech will impact their ability to be safe.online shoppingfood delivery via appsThis is my native space. I see a million opportunities in this season. But that means I need to be extra sensitive to those who are scared.This is like a water polo player jumping into a pool and feeling prepared to tread water for hours, while someone else in the pool doesn’t know how to swim.Spend some time in your conversations focusing specifically on helping those who are afraid. Listen instead of judge. Be kind. If you can learn to listen to the people you serve with before you make a judgement as to why they are having a hard time, you will be the kind of leader people want to follow.

Communicate On Purpose

How to Deal with Someone Else’s Problem | s2ep10

The COVID-19 pandemic is a great time for us as people to negotiate stress in a way that we likely haven’t had to before. I want to talk through a technique I put into practice recently that has helped me apply God’s Word in a way I haven’t before. If you’ve been listening for a while, you know that I believe all need in life, business, and organizational leadership is found in God’s Word. And that the principles of wisdom we find in business books are actually references to truths found in God’s word. So, let me share with you the approach I take when navigating stress.1. Write your fears2. Declare the truth3. Revise your fears4. Meditate on the truth of God’s Word.5. Make the switch.As you pray through the things you are worried about, replace the fear with the truth. I go line by line.Here is what you are doing. You are now going past Philippians 4:6-7, and you are stepping into verse 8. Instead of dwelling on your fears, dwell on whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, anything that is excellent or praiseworthy. 

Dealing with Stress | s2ep9

During a crisis like the COVID-19 pandemic, we begin to see what is most important. In this episode of reflection, I want to encourage you to think about what you are missing. What matters to you? How can you build that into the next season of life you live when things return to normal?

You Can't Do This Alone | s2ep8

What is it?Focus on creating a environment that stimulates growth.Why is it important?Wanting to grow isn’t the same as actually growing. There are a lot of conditions that need to exist for healthy growth to happen, and those conditions don’t happen randomlyHow do you do it?Let people jump inLearning is messy. If you don’t let people jump in until they are ready, then you’ll never let people jump in. If they never jump in, they’ll never learn. If they never learn, they’ll never be ready.There is something to the “prove yourself” part of leadership that can’t be assessed until someone is in the position. In high school I struggled to hit curve balls as a batter. We were playing a team and we were tied going into extra innings. We had a runner on third with two outs. The pitcher on the mound was better than me, and had a great curveball. I couldn’t just put the ball in play to score the run, because I wasn’t fast enough to beat out a bunt or an infield hit. I needed a base hit.If I weren’t actually in that situation, I wouldn’t be able to tell you how I handle pressure when the game is on the line. We could practice against good pitchers. We could practice against curveballs. But we couldn’t simulate the pressure of that situation  in practice. I had to actually be in that moment.The same is true for the people on your team.Challenge people to be betterSet clear expectations for where you want people to beAsk them where they want to go - help prepare them for what they aspire to beLet learning be messyMistakes will happenProjects will failImperfect work will be producedThings could have been betterMake the mistakes productiveModel what it looks like to own mistakes of your own.Center your conversations around the project and the mistake, not the person. Mistakes shouldn’t be personal.Talk about why mistakes happened.Ask questions that help them see the problem.When you help facilitate problem solving, you increase ownership of the solution itself, and you help others put some skin in the game. That is critical to actual, lasting change.Questions I ask: What happened?Do you know why this happened?Can you think of any ways to prevent this from happening in the future?How can I help you accomplish that?

Shifting Your Perspective to Make Others Better | s2ep7

What is it?What is it that you are uniquely best at?Are you a high caliber executor? Are you a developer of people? Are you a teacher and communicator of God’s word?What is the most impactful thing you bring to a team? What are you uniquely gifted or skilled at?Why is it important?As you look toward stepping up into a leadership role, you are choosing to say yes to some responsibilities, and no to others. You want to start understanding better what things you should do, and what things you shouldn’t do.How do you do it?Ask coworkers what you are good at.Ask people close to you what you are good at.At the end of a day when you are drained in a bad way, take note of what you spent your day doing. Why are you spent?At the end of a day when you are drained in a good way, take note of what you did that day. Why are you drained in a good way?Try things you don’t normally do. Serve on a different committee, volunteer in a different ministry, step out of your comfort zone a bit. You might find that something completely unknown to you actually resonates deeply with you.Once you being to get a glimpse of your unique role, begin pressing into that. As you look to grow in leadership, empowering others is a major part of that. If there is any way you can start practicing that now, do it! 

Shifting Your Perspective to Your Unique Role | s2ep6

What is it? Understanding that you don’t work for A church, you work for THE Church. Why is it important?If you lose this perspective:You will be mad when people leave your teamYou won’t trust new people for a whileYou’ll view other churches in your area as competition.You won’t be willing to invest in others How do you do it?Ultimately you have to accept that ministry success is completely up to God, not you. Spend time learning more about who God is. Spend time reading about God’s sovereigntySpend time reading about Discipleship

Shift Your Perspective To Capital C Church | s2ep5

What is it? How you discuss problems in your organization matters.Why is it important? Calling out the wrong things in the wrong ways can cause frustration. The four things I see elevated often are:Starting with complaints: "I didn’t like this."Starting with symptoms: "It seems like we keep getting behind on projects from a specific leader."Starting with problems: "This is broken." Starting with solutions: "I think we could solve this by doing something differently."How to do it?The best teams have the ability to translate from each of these tiers to the next. 

Shift Your Perspective About Problems | s2ep4

This week we are going to talk through a couple ways your mindset needs to shift as you take on more leadership responsibility.These may look different depending on the role you are aspiring toward, but these are new challenges you should be anticipating:Helping others grow safely Growing others while growing yourself Leading out of turmoil yourselfSetting others up for success Taking their criticism on your chin Three important mindset shifts:God isn’t just providing to you, he’s providing through you. Psalm 23The Lord is my shepherd,I shall not want.2 He makes me lie down in green pastures;He leads me beside quiet waters.3 He restores my soul;He guides me in the paths of righteousnessFor His name’s sake.4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,I fear no evil, for You are with me;Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;You have anointed my head with oil;My cup overflows.6 Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.Understand that you are not sole destination for God’s provision. 2. God isn’t just providing for YOU, He’s providing for others too.3. Start being the type of person you want to followUltimately what you value is what others will value. If you are leading people, who you are is what others will be become over time.You are going to find that a lot of this season will point us to scripture. That’s because, in my opinion, Godly living is BY FAR the most effective way to develop as a leader.

Shifting to a New Mindset | s2ep3

In this week's episode, I wanted to share a conversation I had with my wife, Amy Curtis. Circumstances are often things used by God to "order our steps". Amy provides insight and encouragement for those times in life where our plans and the steps God is ordering don't seem to line up the way we think they should.

A Conversation about Circumstance with Amy Curtis | s2ep2

Proverbs 16:9 The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.The call to Christian living is the foundation of effective ministry–regardless of vocation.If you want to learn more about your calling as a Christ follower, spend more time in God’s word. If you are stuck on a starting point, read the Sermon on the Mount in Mathew 5-7. There you will find a great overview of what Christ has called every single Christ follower to.If you have ambitions to be in vocational ministry, you should read the qualifications of Deacons in 1 Timothy 3:8-12. Or, if you have ambitions to become an Elders, read in Titus 1:5-9, 1 Tim. 3:1-7, and 1 Peter 5:1-4. Clarity around the requirements of these roles exist. If you do not meet the qualifications, then you should not be called to either of these roles by the church. I think the bulk of the angst that exists around vocational decision making is that we don’t separate the two. We think we are making a highly spiritual decision when we choose a career path. One of the most beautiful things about our God is that He allows us to participate in ministry. And by our diligent pursuit of living a Christ centered life, we find ourselves in a very exciting position. Largely, we can do whatever we are skilled to do vocationally and have the opportunity to minister to a lost world. Simply because we are striving to be obedient to the call God has placed on our lives as Christ followers. As you seek to assess where to go, here is what I would encourage you to ask yourself.1. How should I respond to what is happening right now?2. What do I care about? (What don’t I care about?)3. What am I good at? (What am I bad at?)4. What types of problems keep finding me?5. What frustrates me?6. What hardships has God allowed me to endure?7. What situations can I endure?8. What does scripture say?Some cautions.you typically don’t find success when you try to help people solve problems you haven’t solved. Be patient. It will feel like everyone else has it figured out before you do. That’s ok.Don’t assume your hardships are things you need to get away from. Sometimes the challenging things in life actually need to be leaned into, not run from.Don’t assume that things that are easy for you are easy for everyone.A career change isn’t bad. And chances are, your previous season will make you better at what you are moving into next. 

Finding Your Calling | s2ep1

5 things that can help you know when change is needed and actually change. Information Helps You ChangeTrust Your GutWhen Passion is Dying, Pause and ListenSeek Trusted Counsel Let Your Creation Live It’s LifeThe Courage to ChangeSeason 2 starts next week!

The Power of the Pivot

The assuming heart is particularly dangerous because of its tendency to scale in damage.We are too impatient to learn the truthWe are scared to address a disagreementWe are angry about something else (related or unrelated)We are lazy Where The Assuming Heart typically gets us into trouble is when we make assumptions about the motivations of others.Here are three phases of The Assuming Heart that I have seen. Each of them scale in damage, so our goal is to shut down our assumptions as soon as we can.Phase 1:The first phase of damage is to you. It erodes your ability to be unified with those around you. When someone makes a decision, you immediately assume that the decision was made with you in mind. The most noticeable trait of phase one is that we begin to pull away from others.Phase 2:Now the assumptions that are expressed internally begin to show up externally.Phase 2 is where we begin sowing division between others on the team and become an agent actively working against unity.Phase 3:At this point our assumptions have become facts to us. We make decisions to combat what we *think* is happening, and we start damaging relationships.Phase 3 is where some relationships are significantly enough that they are altered moving forward. Often this is where trust is lost, and the relationship requires healing before it can continue to move forward.What you are upset about isn’t as important as unity.When someone else makes a decision, assume unity, not division.When you assume the worst about people’s motivations, you choosing to make their decisions more important than the unity of the body of Christ.2. Never trust what anyone says.I don’t care who it is, if someone shares the opinion of someone else with me, I don’t trust it. I always go to the source. Always.3. Be patient.Ultimately, if you aren’t willing to go to someone you are frustrated with, you are actively choosing division over unity.Proverbs 25:15Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.Working relationships can be very hard, but unity of the body of Christ is more important.

Heart Check: The Assuming Heart

You have things that you have made a commitment to. And many of those are very important.Don’t let them become too important.This week, I want to look at the life of Moses in hopes of helping us recalibrate how committed we are to things in our life.Exodus 18:13-23You can’t always see that you are overcommitted on your own.Don’t be frustrated when everyone can’t help at the same level.Moses wasn’t the only one capable, and neither are you. When you hear advice, pray about it. First: giving or receiving counsel should always be with the understanding that prayer will supersede it. Second: the advice in this situation was focused on helping Moses see that he wasn’t the condition upon which Israel succeeded or failed. Whatever it is that you are investing in has the potential to do the same thing if you overcommit to it. Sometimes it’s because the need keeps presenting itself like it did with Moses.Sometimes we overcommit because we think we are the key to success. It won’t happen without us.

Heart Check: The Overcommitted Heart

Have you ever had a day at work that left you dejected? Maybe you were turned down for a promotion, or maybe your idea didn’t get approved. Or maybe there was tension on the team that you were a part of. Maybe you made a mistake that cost the organization money. Whatever the situation, it left you down. For me personally, these things come in waves. I have seasons where it seems like I just keep getting lower and lower. As those seasons come, and they will, we can find ourself with A Dejected Heart.Sometimes we struggle in these seasons because:We think we are pioneers but our wagon wheels roll in the ruts of those who have gone before us.Ecclesiasties 1:9-10That means that somewhere, someone has walked the path you are walking.Look for people who have gone before you in real life2 Corinthians 1:3-72. Look for people who have gone before you in scripture Ezra We need to be reconciled to Christ ourselves (Ezra 9:3-5)In order to do that, we need to know God’s word. (Ezra 9:10-12)We must be willing to Obey what it says. (Ezra 7:10)We must be willing to direct others back into right living. (Ezra 10:10-11)Show grace in the process (Ezra 9:13)Ezra and NehemiahYou will find things in your life that need to be rebuiltWhen you find something that needs to be rebuilt, pray firstWhen you start rebuilding, expect oppositionYou can’t always rebuild on your own.God will not abandon youYour enemies will eventually lose confidenceThe Job isn’t going to be easy3. Make sure you are disconnecting when you canPut your phone away Focus on one thing at a time, and full invest in it. Look at people in the eyeWaste time Efficiency can add to dejection by making you think time spent resting and relaxing is a waste of time. God is faithful to complete his work. Philippians 1:6We aren’t finished yet, thus God has not yet completed what he is working on. This is a part of that process, and likely the hardship will move you closer to completion. 

Heart Check: The Dejected Heart

There are 3 things I think we forget when we doubt. In order to look at these doubt, I’m want to to start with what is true, and unpack some of the ways these our doubt expresses itself.1. We forget who is building the churchMatthew 16:182. We want our our wayIsaiah 55:8Job 38:4-73. We want the entire planGenesis 22:1-18God’s plan doesn’t always make sense to us. So often we have these plans in our mind that are so nice and tidy. What a wonderful roadmap! That isn’t usually what God’s plans look like. God asked Abraham to travel three days with his son processing the fact that he was instructed to sacrifice him. Can you imagine that walk?When your heart doubts the plan because it doesn’t make sense, remember that The Lord Will Provide. The most effective way to combat The Doubting Heart is to remember the truth found in Scripture. Don’t ever be tempted to think that a podcast, a blogpost, or a book can help you in the role you are in more than Scripture. I’m reminded of Psalm 105 “Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path.”

Heart Check: The Doubting Heart

You believe in the mission of your organization, but your job is destroying you. Good news: a lot of your frustration stems from your perspective. Let’s talk about how to change that.

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Communicate On Purpose

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