I know how tough it is to move beyond our comfort zone. Being uncomfortable is not pleasant. We do almost anything to avoid discomfort. However, beautiful things come from challenging ourselves to learn and grow because you and I are alive to become the best version of ourselves.   We must face our fears and defeat them. We must courageously turn and face our past rather than run from it. We must push ourselves to be the best we can be which requires we get out of our comfort zone.  

Conversations on Life Podcast

We Don’t Grow by Staying in Our Comfort Zone

After 20 years of producing and hosting television shows, my guest, Dawn Wilson, has a new passion to help awaken the world to the dangers of herbicides and pesticides sprayed on our food. Dawn shares how saving her mother’s life put her on this new path.  She also brings our attention to the fact there is no requirement to list what herbicides and pesticides are used on food crops. Research points to a dramatic spike in cancer and autism rates since the 1970s when spraying food crops with Glyphosate became the norm. As consumers, we must accept that too often profits are more important to some companies than our health. Eating organic and educating ourselves to the dangers of herbicides and pesticides is vital to maintaining our health and that of our children. It’s important to research and support companies that do acknowledge the dangers of using herbicides and pesticides on our food crops. 

Does What We Eat Make Us Sick?

My guest for this episode, Jean Wall, discusses something we all know to be true - there is no easy button to life. Jean and her family have gotten hit hard by the challenges and disappointments life presents and yet they have an attitude of gratitude. Two natural disasters, a flood, and a hurricane destroyed their home. Her husband was downsized from his job and the company he devoted 24 years to, refused to give him the pension he’d earned. And Jean recently received a cancer diagnosis.  Jean shares there is so much we cannot control what happens to us in life, but we can control our attitude about how we face life’s challenges.    Tragedy can bring out the best in us when we choose not to see ourselves as a victim. Family and friends are so important to helping us survive and thrive when life presents tough situations.  

Thriving After Great Loss and Cancer

I sit down with Kristen Cannata, a mother of two young boys, to discuss how she navigates the world of parenting in the age of technology and bullies. She talks about the need for children to appreciate that the interactions they have with people, animals, and the natural world are always more satisfying and important than an iPhone, TV, computer, or iPad.  And how essential it is for children to learn how to treat others as they want to be treated. Part of loving children is showing them how to behave so they treat themselves and others with respect and kindness. Children need to know life is not perfect and that there will be situations where they have to deal with challenges such as bullies.  Parents must take care of themselves so they can be fully there for their children. 

Parenting in the Age of Technology and Bullies

I sit down with Nicole Stanton, actress, and producer, to discuss how she navigates the male-dominated world of Hollywood where using sex to sell still seems to be the lowest common denominator. She talks about how the industry is changing its views of women, slowly and how consumers can drive change by supporting independent films that feature women. Nicole also offers advice for women who are navigating the confusing world of dating. As a society, we must broaden our view of one another and accept we don’t have to fit into a certain box. Social media offers wonderful access to people but also allows us to hide or to create a false sense of intimacy. To successfully negotiate the dating world it is vital to know what you want and need and to value integrity as the common bond that holds a relationship together.

Hollywood’s Idea of Women is Changing, Slowly

A friend has an unmarried adult daughter who got pregnant. There is no stigma for my friend around her daughter’s pregnancy. However, she has a real problem with the boyfriend who abuses her daughter with disrespect, psychological torment, and manipulation. She also has a problem with the boyfriend’s mother who defends her son’s immature and unacceptable behavior. The daughter also excuses the boyfriend, saying she loves him. She refuses to listen to her mother or her sister, both of whom beg her to wake up and see the man for what his repeated actions say is the truth of his character. Their words fall on deaf ears.  She is blinded by her infatuation with the man. But, with every fight, the daughter complains about how badly the boyfriend treats her. Each time, the mother and sister confirm she has to end the relationship.  The young woman repeatedly refuses to let the man go. Often we are taught love is blind and must endure all things. The truth is, love that is our integrity in action does not bear all things. While all relationships have challenges, love is not about tolerating abuse, control or harmful actions. 

Real Love has Excellent Vision

I sobbed in a homeless man’s arms. I did not know the man. Most likely I will not see him again. But, I will never forget the moment our hearts touched in the intimate dance of raw truth: he lives on the street and me in a warm apartment. Our exchange began when I commented on his dog. He smiled very proud and said, “Yea, she's great. I've got her back and she's got mine.” As he spoke, gently petting the dog, I reached into my wallet and took out all the money I had. Without counting or caring what he would do with it I handed it to him. He hesitantly took it. As our hands touched my tears began. The man reached out, wrapped me tightly in his arms and said, “It’s okay. We're okay out here. Thank you for caring.” As I turned to leave he said, “I love you.” I looked him in the eyes and said, “I love you too.” Love is more than caring and affection for those closest to us. To love is to display the integrity of our heart. Without fear or hesitation. 

Love Yourself First, to Love Others Well

In this episode I sit down with Eren Cannata, Emmy winning songwriter, singer, and producer to get his thoughts on what it means to be a man. A father of two sons, Eren believes the old blueprint of what it means to be a man needs to be revised. And, while some people are scared of change, his experience as a man who embraces change in the form of respect and acceptance of all people, has resulted in a freer and healthier life. It’s beautiful to be rid of the old macho, got to dominate, bread-winner mentality. The “old school” dad who comes home, cracks open a beer, puts the emotional wall up doesn’t work anymore, at least not for me because it doesn’t teach my children or family anything positive. To fix what is broken we must teach our children to respect themselves and to be accepting of difference so they will respect others. 

Share Responsibility, Share Opportunity

In my conversation with Chris Pelch, husband, father and full-time graduate student, we learn that he thinks men are often characterized as macho, hard-headed, and stubborn and there is good reason for this portrayal. He sees that many men dig in their heels when it comes to their opinions. But Chris thinks it’s a mistake for men to ignore the perspectives of others. He believes men should not bulldoze their way forward.  Chris shares: If we truly want to be a man we need to view women as equals.  As men, we must be willing to listen to facts that are contradictory to what we want to believe, accept them, and adjust our perspective accordingly. Men need to be willing to get it right instead of just wanting to be right.  

I don’t want to be right, I want to get it right.

When we think of free speech we immediately think of the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. We do have the constitutional right to free speech. Yet, just because we have the right to say what we want, doesn’t mean there isn’t a cost to what we say. Too often we take our right of free speech for granted without understanding we have an equal responsibility for the consequences. We can’t ignore the fact that how we communicate sets the stage for the kind of relationships we have. To be successful in our relationships and life, in general, we must care that our words and actions define us and what we value. 

Free Speech is Very Expensive

What is most important about being American is that we stand united on the common beliefs of our representative democracy. To do so we must remember the first President, George Washington and other founders of our country, justifiably feared the likelihood of corruption and abuse of power that would arise from two-party divisiveness. A constant jockeying for ruling power creates an environment where cooperation is impossible and inaction the norm. Those of us who say we love our country must value electing public servants of integrity, not politicians. Honest public servants, whether Democrat, Independent, Centrist, or Republican, are willing to cross the aisle to do what is best for the country and its variety of citizens. 

I’m Proud to be Red, White and Blue.

… is a reality for all of us no matter where we live, or how old we are, or if we’re female or male. When we have been abused, used, belittled and made to feel less than, we must learn to keep our heart open in order to heal. We have an opportunity to lead the way in righting the wrongs we see in the world by changing ourselves and our families so our part of the world changes. The rampant abuse of patriarchal power against one half of the world’s population is a huge spiritual wake-up call.  So what is the answer? What can you and I do? As men and women of all or no religious faiths, we must wake up to what it means to be emotionally healthy. 

#MeToo. And you, and you, and you …

Leonardo Da Vinci was a genius. He is loved not only for The Mona Lisa but also for The Last Supper, the most reproduced religious painting of all time. We also adore the work of his contemporary Michelangelo whose sculptures of the David and the Pieta are divinely inspired masterpieces. Leonardo Da Vinci and Michelangelo were amazing artists that continue to make the world better for their having lived.   We are meant to create a beautiful work of art from our precious life too. The art of our life does not have to be in marble or fresco. Our great work of art is to lovingly touch the heart of others so our life will be seen as a masterpiece in God’s eyes.   

I’m gay. So was Leonardo Da Vinci by the way.

Growing up in the southern part of the United States during the 1960s I was surrounded by white supremacy and privilege. I’m gay so I know how it feels to be considered and treated less than. Yet, as a gay woman, I go through life with the choice of being out or not and being white I walk through life unaware of my color. My dark skin brothers and sisters still do not have this freedom. The scientific fact is, all human beings – black, brown, white – can trace our common dark skin ancestors back to Africa.  Each of us is a member of the human race. That’s why my brown and black friends and I agree we don’t have a race problem. We have a respect problem. 

There’s Black and Brown in this White Woman

Okay, I imagine you’re saying to yourself, “Hey, this lasagna lady is nuts.”  I get it since close encounters of the third kind are highly suspect. Unless of course, you are discussing the matter with Giorgio A. Tsoukalos or Erich von Däniken. But, if you’re not a fan of Ancient Aliens or have not read Chariots of the Gods, my experience will seem odd. You’d certainly have doubts if the only aliens you’ve encountered are in movies or on TV. If you only know the Klingons, Romulans, Vulcans, or Borg of Star Trek fame maybe you would think I’m a six-pack short of a case. You can imagine how surreal and strange it must be to grow up with a secret you are not able to share with anyone for fear of being labeled crazy. Finding others who share the same experience is comforting because you can’t be crazy when someone, anyone, steps up and says, “Hey, that also happened to me.” Each experience you and I have in life is a unique opportunity to grow our sympathy, empathy and compassion for others. 

Of course I’ve been visited by aliens! Hasn’t everyone?

Regina Victoria Cates, is a best-selling author, spiritual teacher, and fan of positivity. Through her organization, Romancing Your Soul, Regina is the source of inspiration for hundreds of thousands of people all over the world. As one of the most effective self-help authors and transformational thought leaders of our time, she engages in conversation intended to help us make the very best of this amazing journey we share called life. Join Regina’s Romancing Your Soul heart-family on Facebook.

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Conversations on Life Podcast

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