Nope, we&#39;re not talking about your favorite porn video -- we&#39;re talking about what your particular psyche finds sexy. It turns out your hottest sexual movie is a fundamental part of your sexuality you might not even know about yet. Celeste has worked with thousands of both men and women to discover their core desires, and we discuss themes that arise around them (i.e. women often want to feel desired, special, and seen in sex, while men often want to feel powerful and competent). Whether you&#39;re single, in a dating relationship or committed, long-term partnership, you knowing about your own core sexual movie as well as how to elicit that from your partner can up both your pleasure and your mastery when it comes to doing the dirty. ;)Mentioned on this podcast:Somatica Institute: https://www.somaticainstitute.com/Books: Cockfidence, Making Love Real, and Coming Together

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

174: How knowing your "hottest sexual movie" can make for smokin' sex (ft. Celeste Hirschman)

When you think of a sex educator, you probably think about school. But the truth is a lot of us need sex education as adults (even married folks!), and Kristopher Lovestone is a passionate advocate of healthy, fun, and informative sex ed for men who have sex with women. His new book Conscious Cock provides a wealth of info, which we discuss. We also cover his own fascinating story of going from a child who survived six divorces (yes, six!) to a happily married husband and father himself. We also talk about a "yes, no, maybe" sex list (it&#39;s very cool -- you&#39;ll want to know more) and how you as a man can make sex even more pleasurable for both you and your partner on a regular basis. Hot sex, dating, and relationships for all!

173: Conscious Cock. What is it and how can it help you? (ft. Kristopher Lovestone)

What has a woman who has sex with men want to sleep with a man again and again? What, according to sex research, makes a man great in bed? It&#39;s not what you might think. I was recently on Robbie Kramer&#39;s podcast Leverage discussing findings in my sex research. Thousands of women revealed what, to them makes a man a great lover. Interestingly, less than 5% of women talked about a man staying hard all the time; less than 2% talked about penis size, and less than 1% talked about a man having a good body. But over 70% of women mentioned one specific trait that the men who are best at sex cultivate. Whether you&#39;re dating, in a committed relationship, or somewhere in between, you&#39;re likely to get something out of this lively back-and-forth on sex, communication, polarity, male/female dynamics, and more.

172: Revealing my sex research, one stat at a time (ft. Robbie Kramer)

Ever dated someone from a different background, or from a different country? What&#39;s sex and relationship like with a language barrier? Robbie and I get down and dirty in terms of our experiences as North Americans dating in Western and Eastern Europe, South America, Japan, the Caribbean, and beyond. If you&#39;ve ever had sex or dated someone abroad (or wondered what it&#39;s like) you&#39;ll enjoy this lively discussion.

171: Adventures in cross-cultural dating (ft. Robbie Kramer)

Ahhh, sexual shame. Most of us have it to some extent, and it can severely limit your sex and relationship life if you don&#39;t get it handled. Fortunately, integrating sexual shame is more than possible when you put attention on the right things. Whether you&#39;re in a dating relationship, having casual sex, or you&#39;re in a committed relationship, becoming sexually confident results in more fulfillment and joy. Here we go through some of the blocks or obstacles to living a fully sexually expressed life, and how we&#39;ve seen clients move past these into sexual freedom.

170: How do you overcome sexual shame? (ft. Becky Carter)

“In short, the idea for Dripstick started at the intersection of baking and laziness.” Frances Tang is the founder and CEO of Awkward Essentials, and an all-around awesome human being. In the world of sex tech, she&#39;s also unique -- her product makes it easy for women to clean up cum (yep, you got that right) after sex. That might not sound like a big deal, but for many women it&#39;s unpleasant to have the good stuff leaking out for hours after doing the dirty. In the world of sex, dating, and relationships, personal hygiene is always a win -- and hers is a fun story of rising above while cleaning up down below.

169: Making after-sex cleanup awesome, one couple at a time (ft. Frances Tang)

Ever felt guilty or ashamed of your sexuality because of your religious background? Nikole Mitchell started life as a Baptist ... and is now an OnlyFans star! Along the way to reclaiming her full, passionate sexuality, she set boundaries with family members and learned how to be right with her own sex drive. She&#39;s also a sex-positive mother of three, has been through divorce, and knows what it means to leave the church. If you&#39;ve experienced religion trauma or find yourself shaming yourself over your authentic sexuality, you&#39;ll be inspired by her story of rising above, getting laid, and finding meaning. To good, healthy sex for all!

168: From Christian pastor to stripper! How she overcame religious trauma (ft. Nikole Mitchell)

Sick of getting ghosted or having other not-so-great experiences on dating apps like Hinge, Tinder, Bumble, etc.? While the apps are an important part of the sex and relationship landscape these days, there are lots of other stimulating ways to meet dating and relationship partners. Camille Virgina, author of The OFFline Dating Method: 3 Steps to Attract Your Perfect Partner in the Real World, breaks it down. We also get into how to overcome by social anxiety and loneliness — two common obstacles to dating. Whether you&#39;re looking for a new sex or dating partner after a divorce or other breakup, wanting a new polyamorous connection, or just to make new friends, you&#39;ll get something out of this candid and uplifting convo on connection.

167: How do I meet women to date in real life (instead of on dating apps)? ft. Camille Virginia

Ever wondered what it&#39;s like to do ayahuasca, MDMA (molly), or psilocybin (magic mushrooms)? Are they right for you (can they help boost your sexual confidence, feel less anxious overall, and/or let go of old trauma)? Here, we share our experiences with different "medicines," as well as their huge advantages and drawbacks. People with relationship issues, including anxious/avoidant attachment now have even more ways of healing and moving forward. Psychedelics like ayahuasca, psilocybin, ketamine, MDMA, and more are increasingly used therapeutically, and have a lot of potential to help boost and accelerate personal growth, recovery from PTSD, and more.Mentioned on this episode:MAPS (Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies): https://maps.org/Johns Hopkins Center for Psychedelic & Consciousness Research: https://hopkinspsychedelic.org/

166: Can psychedelics help heal you? (ft. Jason Lange)

"When I got out of the military, I couldn&#39;t feel a damn thing." While technically ending his military career as a success, Reeves&#39; internal experience was totally different. He felt miserable and disconnected -- and this was the place from which he dated, had sex, and got into relationships. What happened? Nothing good! His partners were unhappy, he didn&#39;t understand why they weren&#39;t happy with what he was providing, and arguments ensued. This is a riveting account of one man&#39;s journey moving from "traditional," perhaps limited masculinity into its full expression. Breakdown to breakthrough has its illuminating moments. Author of Choose Her Every Day or Leave Her, Reeves

165: From Air Force Captain to personal growth leader (ft. Bryan Reeves)

Ever wondered what tantra means, exactly? You&#39;re not alone. If you picture a bunch of people having a massive sex orgy, or a married couple attempting to spice up their sex life with tantra, you&#39;re also not alone. When it comes to sex, dating, and relationships, conscious sexual expression is often something to which we aspire but don&#39;t always attain. It turns out tantra has a lot more to it than what you might think -- it could be the gateway to profound transformation not only in relationship, but to unlocking your own vibrant, individual aliveness.

164: What exactly *is* tantra? (ft. Devi Ward Erickson)

Often the people who are the most sexually attractive to us are the ones who trigger all our "stuff." We call this "trauma sex," and quite frankly, it&#39;s hot. It&#39;s heavy. It&#39;s intense. It&#39;s addictive! And it happens to both men and women. Whether in a dating or relationship context (i.e. a marriage) you&#39;ve ever felt like you couldn&#39;t stop sleeping with a woman who was toxic for you (perhaps even a narcissist or someone with Borderline Personality Disorder), you&#39;ll appreciate this candid discussion of red-hot sex with someone who&#39;s bad for you ... and how to break free of the pattern.

163: Ever had red-hot sex with someone who's bad for you? (ft. Jason Lange)

Holly Randall grew up in a household where both parents were in the adult industry (as photographers/producers). Eventually she herself became an adult film director (and podcaster!). In a world where free porn is ubiquitous and affects all of us in our dating and relationship lives, it&#39;s worth exploring the differences between porn as depicted onscreen and sex in real life. Here&#39;s one gem: She says 90%+ of male porn stars use Viagra, so if you&#39;re judging how hard your cock gets or your performance on them ... stop. We also discuss penis size, the hidden truth about anal sex, and much more.

162: What's the difference between porn sex and real-life sex? A woman porn director explains (ft. Holly Randall)

Ever felt like your partner was trying to control you, whether in dating or a committed relationship — for example by withholding sex, subtly shaming you, or making you feel guilty if you needed space? Simone Milasas, author of Relationship: Are You Sure You Want One?, breaks down several common ways women who have sex with men often try to control their partners (sometimes unconsciously). If you&#39;ve been in a relationship where you didn&#39;t really feel like you could be just yourself without triggering your partner, you may find this one validating.

161: 3 common ways women try to control men in relationships (ft. Simone Milasas)

Irene and her husband started out hot and heavy, but that sexual chemistry didn't last. Eventually sex was painful for her and she sought out help from OBGYNs and other experts ... to no avail. She, like many women, thought she was broken. This took a heavy toll on her marriage, and it was years before she was able to truly enjoy sex again. Now she coaches other women and couples hoping to regain intimacy and achieve a thriving sex life. Whether you're currently dating, in a relationship, or married, you'll get something out of this riveting story of sexuality, relationships, redemption, and how the healing process can seem circuitous but eventually always leads to wholeness. Mentioned in the episode: * Why Sex Dies and How to Make Love & Sex Work in a Long-term Relationship: www.irenefehr.com/start-here-sex-coaching ( https://mailtrack.io/trace/link/e905d6e4bd49f4658eaea118afad9e0636839369?signature=dae2dfe04d4b1811&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.irenefehr.com%2Fstart-here-sex-coaching&userId=5420610 ) * *Website* : www.irenefehr.com ( http://www.irenefehr.com/ )

160: She went from not wanting sex at all to deep, fulfilling sex (ft. Irene Fehr)

Advice for smart men on how to be successful with women in sex, dating, and relationships. Beautiful women give you a peek behind the curtain into what the feminine really craves from the masculine ... and how to give it to us. Personal growth is sexy, haven&#39;t you heard? Get in touch at dearmenpodcast@gmail.com.

hubhopper

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Wo...

hubhopper