Two episodes ago, we heard from a mother, Bilinda. She gave us some great insights to what she was experiencing as she was dealing with both her son and her daughter through addiction. The last episode, her daughter, Marilyn, had a very open conversation with me about her experiences through addiction and coming out the other side. It was eye opening for both the mother and the daughter to hear from each other. So I wanted to do something special, and that was to invite both of them to come onto my podcast and have us hear what their insights were together. 

End The Stigma

The Saga Continues: The Journey of a Mother and Daughter

Last week, we had Bilinda Blume on, a mother of two kids that dealt with addiction. I had the privilege of following things up with her daughter this week, Marilyn. Marilyn dives deep into her own story of her side of things and what were some helpful things her family did, but also shares with us what were some of the things that were not so helpful. Her story is going to help and impact so many people. Caution: This is a real conversation between two people in a very raw way. It can be hard to listen to.

Guest Episode: Marilyn: A daughter's story of addiction

An incredible interview with a woman who has experience with having loved ones dealing with substance abuse. Bilinda is a mother of three; two of her children have struggled with substance abuse, beginning in their teens and into young adulthood. ​She has been supportive and loving to her children in a healthy way, despite how painful and uncertain addiction can be. Helping others rise above their life's challenges is her passion, life's work, and addiction is one of the driving forces. We talk about what it was like for her, finding herself through having 2 children dealing with addiction. A powerful interview every parent needs to listen to. 

Guest Episode: Bilinda Blume: A Mother's Journey Through Her Kids Addiction.

During this time, I have seen many people bending, or breaking their own boundaries because of the extenuating circumstances. However, it is important to continue to apply the principles of boundary setting even in today's world because there are no extenuating circumstances under which the principles of boundary settings do not apply. 

The Coronavirus and Our Boundaries: Do They Still Apply?

This episode was originally under the End the Stigma Podcast, it was an interview with my mom, Lynn Carnes. It was a great interview about boundaries and some of the things she did for me while in my addiction that helped me. 

Guest Episode: Lynn Carnes AKA My Mother

It was a hard decision, but I had to go with my heart. I am scrapping end the stigma podcast but replacing it with something even better. The Unbreakable Boundaries Podcast. You will learn the reason why in this latest episode. Enjoy the new format!

I am scrapping "End The Stigma" and going to "The Unbreakable Boundaries" Podcast

I asked my mom to come on my podcast so she could give her side of the story throughout my addiction. We got into some really good conversations and found out even more stuff that we didn't know. We talk a lot about speaking our truth and that is an important way to ending stigma is if you are feeling guilt, shame, or are in denial, it's important to work through that and empower yourself. Lynn Carnes is an executive leadership coach and many of the principles she learned for herself applied to helping me through my journey. We were both leading change in our own lives. And now, we help others do the same. 

I had an interesting thought the other day when it came to thinking about "Why is the corporate world so male dominated even still?" And I thought about what males learn early in our society versus females. As a business person, I am starting to learn skills that males are taught at a much younger age through dating. What are your thoughts?

Males Versus Females in Business

Language is important, how we as individuals use language can quickly change your life. For whatever group you are being hateful towards, maybe it's even a political party, change your language around that group and you will be amazed at how much better YOU will feel. We have stigmas because of the language we use on ourselves. Be willing to be open and vulnerable about your own situation. You don't have to do it alone, we are here to help.

Change Your Language; Change Your Life

Sometimes, we look at someone and think their life has been so much easier than our own and we judge, but it's not easier, it's just different with its own set of challenges. Making those assumptions though, can perpetuate our own stigmas for ourselves. We may be more full of self-doubt and insecurities just by comparing ourselves and making assumptions our lives are easier or harder. It's just different. 

It's just different

This week I decided to share what the conversations have been in the Facebook group I created called "End The Stigma" so it wouldn't be just me involved in the conversation. I really enjoyed reading off other people's messages and their perceptions of what they see in the world as it relates to Stigmas. If you want to be involved in the conversation, you too, can join "End The Stigma" 

The Conversation Continues: And Not Just With Me

There is a big difference between simply getting something done for the sake of checking it off our list or actually investing the time and energy into doing meaningful things. Many times, even when it comes to "our work," we can find ourselves checking things off a list instead of just diving deep and doing something because it betters us. We can find ourselves doing the same thing as it relates to stigma and ourselves. We can share a facebook post, or talk to our friends about how stigmas exist. But we have to actually take action to do something about stigmas and not just talk about it and how frustrated we are that stigmas exist. 

Getting things done versus putting meaningful things in the world

We all have conditioned responses. Our conditioned responses can be how some things get stigmatized. I go into a few of my own conditioned responses, not all of them make sense to anyone else but me. But how do your conditioned responses impact your life. I talk about #momface and where a lot of our conditioned responses are around our parents and how that can show up in our everyday lives. Maybe you are having a hard time with a boss because they remind you to much of one of your parents so having that kind of conditioned response to them can impact your career, your home life, your relationships. It's important to focus on our conditioning so we can rewire certain things,

What are your conditioned responses?

We cannot be an "Open-Minded Person" but we can be open-minded about ideas. Stigmas often get created because we find ourselves unable to even hear someone that has an idea different than ours. But I challenge people to do research for the things they passionately believe in. Not to change your mind but to strengthen your belief to ensure it's not simply a conditioned response. ​We can often shame people into believing what we want them to believe. How many of your beliefs are because you believe them, or you were shamed into believing them? Dive deep and challenge yourself and your beliefs and be open minded to new ideas. 

Are you an Open-Minded Person? The answer is no.

I am throwing my two cents in with looking at psychology and sociology stigmas get formed and how it impacts ourselves as individuals and how it impacts the way we treat others that are not like us. It comes down to survival but we have to challenge our view on survival and ambiguity. This is a simplified brush over of a topic I could spend years talking about and as we go on in the show, we will be unpacking this idea at deeper levels. If we accept ourselves more, our ability to accept others grows exponentially. 

The Psychological and Sociological Ways Stigmas Get Formed

Mental Health is a hot topic with stigma attached to it. But what does that mean for our society? We see more and more people struggling to find ways to cope and it's not always in a healthy way. Substance Abuse, Suicide, Gambling, Eating Disorders, and many more mental health disorders are at it's all time high. Together, we as a society can help. This podcast is about supporting and knowing how to help those with mental health and removing the stigma associated with disorders. Yes, there will be many touchy conversations that need to be had if we wish to remove the stigma. END THE STIGMA.

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End The Stigma

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