Black men in particular are one of the most objectified groups in porn. Black men are a porn genre, which begs the question of why race is a genre….BBC is more than just a porn SEO tag, it is a colloquialism, signaling on dating apps and even a proclaimed sexual lifestyle. Though we may think we are idolizing the black male body, where does this notion come from, how is it perpetuated and how do those on the receiving end experience it? King Noir is no stranger to speaking out politically and sexually. Experiencing this objectification first hand in both the music industry and the sex industry, King has navigated these mirroring communities for decades. King helps us decode how the industry dehumanizes porn performers and the ripple effect to marginalized folx outside of the industry. Find all of King's content on kingnoire.com If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice Email us at isourlovepod@gmail.com ------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert The end of episode song this week is King Noire "Hu$tle Matrimony" Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

Is Our Love ____? with Lola Jean & The Reluctant Sexpert

Is Our Love The Objectification of Black Men with King Noire

An Educator for Sex Educators? A more and more common question these days as more sexuality professionals emerge is: “How can I do that too?” The road to becoming a sexuality professional is murky. Even murkier is how to make that career or side-hustle a viable one. Enter Cameron Glover, whose goal is to make your sex ed business as successful as it can be with the Sex Ed Business Academy. Certifications, training programs, mentorship...there isn’t one go-to path for all individuals. What makes a Sex Educator good at their job? What makes them “official” and who are we waiting for to grant us those titles? Cameron has us question who content is made for and why so many people have imposter syndrome. Whether you’re interested in the sex-ed field or not, Cameron lays down some business advice that’s applicable for everyone. For more of Cameron's work & info on the Sex Ed Business Academy: cameronglover.com If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice Email us at isourlovepod@gmail.com ------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert The end of episode song this week is Fuck Buttons, "Red Wing" Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

Is Our Love Sex Education? (with Cameron Glover)

This week we continue our venture into the world of literotica with someone who can not only call themselves an erotica writer but a sex toy inventor as well. Tabitha Rayne is a decorated writer who draws more on fiction than reality. Penning her dirty words as a way to finesse typing and molding her own rideable toy as a means to get off while her fingers flowed, Tabitha quite literally continues to fall into success. Tabitha brings the fun back into saying, writing and reading certain words. We grill Tabitha on where the bridge between written and spoken dirty words--if at all, how you can get into writing your own smut, and how to use erotica in your own life. PLUS, we continue to ask the age old question: Why were people always hiding porn magazines in bushes? You can find all of Tabitha's work on tabitharayne.com and purchase a ruby glow at therubyglow.com If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice (or just want to share a story) Email us at isourlovepod@gmail.com ------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert The end of episode song this week is LAPS "Mojo" Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

Is Our Love A World Of F**K (with Erotica Writer and Sex Toy Inventor Tabitha Rayne)

 For all of the visual stimuli we are bombarded with and lack of sexual communication it’s no wonder we are ill equipped to whisper sweet nothings into our persons ear. Enter: Peekaboo Collins. Whether it’s poetry or short stories, Peekaboo weaves a web of syllables and phrases of the lead up, and the in-betweens of every scintillating moment. We learn that not all erotica has to depict fantasy, and how we can rewrite our own stories in the best possible light….if we want. From the bathroom blowjob that never happened to a built up childhood crush that ultimately leads to being disappointed, everyone has one of those stories that we’ve romanticized or dreamt better than reality. Peekaboo chose to write about it. What are you waiting for, time to finish your own story or create a new one. You can find Peekaboo's work at peekaboocollins.com and @peekaboocollins If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice (or just want to share a story) Email us at isourlovepod@gmail.com ------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert The end of episode song this week is Peaches "Talk To Me" Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com 

Is Our Love A Dirty Word (with Erotic Author Peekaboo Collins)

What is a norm and how do you know if you’re willingly or unwillingly abiding by it? By now we know our formative years at least have some influence in our worldview. Does that mean norms are good? Bad? or do they not even matter at all? Porn performer and activist Lync Johnson (@lyncjohnson3x) takes us through his formative years and how his lack of societal influence helped him form norms of his own. From a unique first time experience to rejecting labels, Lync’s journey down memory lane has us all questioning our societal influences and how norms can be particularly gendered. PLUS a listener gets some words of advice from Julia Koewer (@JuliaKoerwer) LMSW on finding affordable therapy for a new lover. Follow Lync everywhere: allmylinks.com/lyncjohnson If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice Email us at isourlovepod@gmail.com ------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert The end of episode song this week is Suicide "Dream Baby Dream" Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

Is Our Love Normative (with Porn Performer & Activist Lync Johnson)

By now we all know what consent means…..or do we? How much do you really know and what can an intimacy coordinator teach you about your current understanding? Alot, it turns out. If you thought consent = permission, this week is for you. Intimacy coordinator Mia Schachter (@miaschachter) graces our presence to boost our understanding of consent and what most people get wrong within their understanding. We can all use a better understanding of consent and how boundaries relate to it both sexually and non-sexually. Mia lets us in on the burgeoning Intimacy Coordinator role, how she came about it, and why she is surprisingly not always well received. Plus we learn what the fuck procity is, what we can learn from it and why we should all be critical consumers. You can find more information on Mia's work, upcoming workshops, and her podcast at sharetheloadinc.com. If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice Email us at isourlovepod@gmail.com ------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert The end of episode song this week is Rival Schools "Hooligans For Life" Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

Is Our Love Consensual? (with Intimacy Coordinator Mia Schachter)

What role does film and media play in our love and in our lives? Does culture reflect film or vice versa? This week we are joined by the charismatic Nia Ashley who takes us on her film journey and the media that impacted her life. We reflect on what happened to the era of UPN series and why TV has taken one step forward and three steps back. Nia helps us navigate if we can still love art and artists that we now see through problematic glasses. Nia represents a burgeoning generation eager to create the narratives they so sorely missed. Find Nia's work at niaashley.com If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice Email us at isourlovepod@gmail.com ------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert The end of episode song this week is Thao & The Get Down Stay Down "Pure Cinema" Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

Is Our Love Represented in Film? (with Nia Ashley)

This week we're joined by southern sexuality superhuman Marla Stewart, whose impressive body of work speaks for itself. Co-founder of the Sex Down South conference, Marla is already making history and a forging new educated era in sex and sexuality. Plus... she loves an uncomfortable conversation as much as we do. From strip club culture to pop culture we discuss how history and geographical location influences cultural upbringing. Oh, and we take a highly academic lens to the impact and significance of WAP. Follow Marla at: @1marlastewart Coaching, Workshops & Education: velvetlipssexed.com And sign up for the upcoming virtual and IRL Sex Down South Conference: sexdownsouth.com If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice Email us at isourlovepod@gmail.com ------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

Is Our Love Sex Down South (with Marla Stewart)

Based on the number of pro dommes we've had on this podcast the past few weeks, we need a little reminder that good, old fashioned, fuck yes, traditional sex is still fucking fantastic and fun for all! We are joined this week by Sex Educator and Youtuber Hannah Witton who's advocating for the conventional. Marriage, kids, monogamy. What does it mean to be sexually progressive when you tic so many privileged boxes? How do you handle secret fantasies or masturbating to an ex in a committed relationship? Find out how Hannah sometimes treats her relationship like a job performance review, and why you should too. Follow Hanna on instagram, youtube, her podcast DOING IT! and check out all her books, content, etc. on Hannawitton.com If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice Email us at isourlovepod@gmail.com ------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert This weeks' end of episode song is The Clean "Tally Ho" Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

Is Our Love Conventional (with Hannah Witton)

Oh I’m sorry... did you think we were an good-vibes-all-the-time podcast? Stephens inner goth gets to let loose as we welcome this week's fascinating guest Audrey Fatale. We learn all about the death industry and how Audrey navigated her way through it. Find out what secondary trauma response is, what one learns working at a morgue and in traumatic bereavement, and how she’s brought alllllll of that into BDSM. From necrophiles to the funeral business, whether you avoid the topic of death, run right towards it, or you happen to eroticize it - we cover the gamut in this episode of Is Our Love. You can find Audrey Fatale at: mistressfatale.com If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice Email us at isourlovepod@gmail.com ------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert This weeks' end of episode song is the timelessly brilliant but *so* painfully sad Scott Walker "My Death" Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

Is Our Love Dead? (with Audrey Fatale)

Is Our Love Particular? Does our love even know what it wants? Whether you’re ideal pairing is in pay-for-play, a long term partner, or your career we could all take a few notes from Mistress Eva Oh (@youwillplease_me) in patience and consistency. Enter this week’s episode bursting with logic. Mistress Eva Oh has a particular list of her small life's pleasures and knows exactly how to go about getting them... or punish shortcomings. We could all learn a thing or two from Eva Oh when it comes to being patient and getting satisfaction. You can find Eva Oh and all her work on eva-oh.com If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice Email us at isourlovepod@gmail.com ------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert This weeks' end of episode song is Tiny Deaths "If I'm Dreaming" Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

Is Our Love Patient? (with Mistress Eva Oh)

Why are femme Dominatrizes more prevalent and heralded than masc Doms? Is there a stigma against masc Doms, particularly cis-male Doms? We discuss why that is and what you can do about it on our latest episode with Master Peter. From swing dancing to switch hitting, Master Peter got into the business sideways and now he is firing from all cylinders. From his time as dungeon monitor, personal relationships, and his clients both couples and singles alike, you’re going to want to learn what puts Master Peter as the creme de la creme and why he is so often sought out in the London scene. Speaking of scenes, Master Peter’s signature teaching tool is gentle dominance. Learn how partnered dance and partnered play have more in common thank you’d think and how YOU can be a better dominant and a better partner. You can find Master Peter at: masterpeter.co.uk If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice Email us at isourlovepod@gmail.com ------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert This weeks' end of episode song is Miss Kittin "Life Is My Teacher" Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

Is Our Love A Male Dom? (with Master Peter)

What is a dungeon and are they all created similarly? We speak with all around sex worker Adreena Angela on how she doesn’t follow all the rules from curating her studio space, how she interacts with clients, and the controversial stance on if Dommes take their tits out. Dungeons and sex work isn’t as scary as you would think and Adreena pulls back the veil to let you know some of the best -- and worst messages and experiences she has in her decorated career. PLUS Adreena, Lola and Stephen answer a listener q from a couple interested in approaching a sex worker for a session. Find out all the etiquette and ways to go about making your fantasies a reality, yes….even in Florida. You can find more about Mistress Adreena and Inanna Studio at mistressadreena.co.uk If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice : Email us at isourlovepod@gmail.com ------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert This weeks' end of episode song is Moses Sumney "Cut Me" Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

Is Our Love A Dungeon? (with Mistress Adreena)

Have you ever had a stereotype projected onto you? Have you ever felt guilty about embodying or identifying with a stereotype of your ethnicity or otherwise? These conversations may not be easy but they’re absolutely necessary. This week we welcome Rebecca Carvalho to discuss her relationship with her ethnicity as it relates to her sexuality and how this comes into play throughout her dating life and interaction with porn. Latinx people covers a WIDE range of persons. Rebecca uses her personal journey as well as learning about her roots and past, including reconciling with a shame of embodying some of the common stereotypes. PLUS Stephen and Lola answer an advice question about squirting that isn’t really about squirting at all! Follow Rebecca on Insta @rebeccaecarvalho or find her at rebeccaecarvalho.com If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice : Email us at isourlovepod@gmail.com ------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert This weeks' end of episode song is Ricky Martin, "Shake Your Bon-Bon" because holy shit that really happened once upon a time. Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

Is Our Love The Fetishization of Latinx Womxn? (with Rebecca Carvalho)

Do you remember getting the talk? Who gave it to you? How would you give “the talk?” Easier said than done. This week’s guest Jet Setting Jasmine is not only walking the walk but talking THE 'talk'. Jasmine is a mother of three and can add therapist, pornographer and domme to her extensive resume. Jasmine schools us on the sex positive parenting playbook that doesn’t exist, answering questions like: When do you start introducing topics of sex to your children and how you go about doing it? Do you have to be comfortable with your own sexuality to be able to provide them with a quality ‘talk?’ Does it have to be awkward? Above all, how do we keep our children safe while enabling them to explore sexuality in a healthy manner? PLUS we talk to Jasmine about how to educate your kids on looooove. Find everything Jet Setting Jasmine on: jsjlinks.com (or, like she says, just google her) If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice : Email us at isourlovepod@gmail.com ------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert This weeks' end of episode song is Madison McFerrin "TRY" Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

Is Our Love the New 'Talk'? (with Jet Setting Jasmine)

In the age of porn on our phones and vibrators around our necks, is the future of love doomed? Sex Educator & Olympian Squirter Lola Jean and Reluctant Sexpert Stephen Penta (former producer of Guys We F**ked Podcast) tow both sides of the line. They are the vigilante sex educators no one asked for, creating the next gen Kama Sutra you deserve.

hubhopper

Is Our Love ____? with Lola Jean & The Reluctant Sexpert

hubhopper