Your words are so powerfulGod created the earth with words.You create your world with your words.Create your marriage with your words.Create your finances with your words.Your spouse needs to hear your edify and lift them.They don&apos;t need your direction.

Joyfully Married After

Why Your Words Matter with Your Partner

Don&apos;t you want to be JOYFULLY Married?What are the goals in your marriage?"The goal is to be happily married not just married."Why get married if you aren&apos;t going to married because we all know that you don&apos;t have to be married. You need to make a distinct choice to be JOYFULLY married.

The Goal is to be Married AND Happy!

In this Episode we Discuss how to have a happy Marriage. 1.  Invest in your marriage just like your business/career with a weekly meeting with an Agenda- Treat this like you would a valuable client. Make sure you don’t miss it.No interruptions. In a quiet place. Ask the question. Where can I improve?2 .Create the Vision of Your Union.Who do you see yourself as the significant other?Think like premier RomanticCater directly to their love language in a big way on a regular basisLook for others to emulateBe with others that have marriage you want or others that want the same for their marriage (community)ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING GREAT TO LOOK FORWARD TOAre you excited about the futureGive yourself something to be excited about.Is there an annual trip you take.Is this something you like to do together that you can do on a regular basis?Make rules - If I am gone this many days, we do a quick weekend away. Never miss date night, pillow talk on Sunday nights etc. There are so many!! Coffee Day. Get in your 10!It’s possible to have a great marriage and a great career or business. Yes you can have it all. Envision it, claim it.Use Do Overs - I know i messed up last time.. Only 1 or 2  yearDo you buy more career books than marriage books? Stop saying you&apos;re doing it to put food on the table. Put each other first. For 30 days.14- nights away just the two of you in another town4- If gone more than 4 days then take days off during the week.6- no phone after 6pm

Want a Happy Marriage?

Why do people say that marriage is becoming extinct?1. FEAR -people are afraid of hurt, rejection being vulnerable. FOMO. Something or someone better is around the corner. It’s all fear and you bring it to yourself…2. Bad teaching- Who are you listening to? Online influences, gurus, family members? You reading your word? Your pastor? Following people with fruit on the tree? Modeling marriage/family success? Seeking positive input and wise counsel? Men bashing women and women bashing men and that’s what you’re listening too.3. Communication and unrealistic expectations  - Expectations of a perfect mate from an imperfect you. Work on yourself; make improvements there. Attract what you are/what you want and watch this. What you need. Your spouse is also there to help you and also highlight where you need improvement. But we run from that and it becomes a problem vs you&apos;re doing some work in that area.Because the POWER couple, is real.

Is Marriage Becoming Extinct?

We are going to break 4 Myths with statistics.1. Black Women Don’t Marry - 2.Educated Black Women Have It Harder3. Rich Black Men Marry Out4. Black Men Don’t Earn as Much as Black WomenDo Black people get married? That question has been asked in one form or another in a series of news reports about the Black marriage “crisis.” On the surface, such stories seem to be concerned about Black women in search of love, but these media reports have fueled stereotypes about Black people. By suggesting that too few Black men are available to wed, news stories on Black marriage have done little more than predict doom and gloom for Black women who hope to marry.In reality, Black marriage isn’t reserved for the likes of Barack and Michelle Obama. Analysis of census data and other figures has debunked much of the misinformation the media has reported about the Black marriage rate.

What Do You Believe About Black Marriage?

In this episode we interviewed Lamar Tyler of Black Married with Kids and TSP.Using his motto "The Gatekeepers Are Gone," Lamar has leveraged social media to build a movement of online brands that support, uplift, and encourage the black community with over 600 thousand social media fans and over 51 thousand customers in all 50 states and 43 countries across the globe. Among the recognition received for his work, Lamar, along with wife Ronnie was named one of Ebony Magazine&apos;s Power 100, a list of the top 100 movers and shakers in the black community, finalists for Black Enterprise&apos;s Family Business of the Year, finalists for Infusionsoft’s Small Business ICON award and recipients of the ClickFunnels 2 Comma Club Award.https://trafficsalesandprofit.com/FREE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TrafficSalesProfit/Lamar reveals what he wish he knew before starting the entrepreneurial journey in this first JMA interview! Learn what couples should do when trying to move from corporate jobs to entrepreneurship, resources you should tap into and the biggest myth about moving from your Corporate job to Entrepreneurship.Find us at HeathandTracy.com

Things I Learned on My Entrepreneurial Journey while Married - Interview with Lamar Tyler

Is it possible to love someone but not feel emotionally close? There is often a gap between the love we feel in our heart and the emotional intimacy we experience with someone. The connection we desire may seem so close, so we keep trying, but it remains elusive.You can love someone but don&apos;t experience the trust and safety that are necessary for the relationship to thrive. But this emotional safety is an essential foundation for an intimate relationship.The Ingredients of Emotional SafetyThere are many possible ways to protect ourselves when we don’t feel safe. We shut ourselves down.Building a trusting, non-defensive relationship requires that we give to another what we ourselves desire. Love asks for reciprocal sharing—extending ourselves toward another’s world in a way that lets them feel emotionally safe with us. Being Ourselves and Being TruthfulOne of the blessings of building safety in a relationship is that we feel free to be ourselves. If we’ve been hurt in the past, we may have vowed to never to be so trusting and open again! Life is richer when we find a partner that comes from being ourselves Emotional safety also requires telling the truth and keeping agreements. Of course, no one is perfect, It is inevitable that trust will be broken, even in the best of relationships. There may be times when we don’t feel emotionally safe due to our own unhealed wounds from past relationships, whether in our family of origin or past partnerships.  

Is Love Enough?

The best way to handle money in your MarriageBegin with a plan to move your family and your future in building a legacy.This is the way to solid finances.You want to start with an abundance mindset. Not a scarcity mindset.Be Ok, plan. Watch your spending on the necessities. Rent/Mortgage, Transportation and food. My dad calls it “Food, clothing and shelter. Be Secure. This is where you are going for the 6 months or more savings.Build a Wealth plan. This is when you can have fun. Look for those deals to invest in. Meeting on a regular basis with your partner to go over your Philosophy and what are the goals and objectives you are moving toward. Stop keeping up with the Joneses. This is hard. Why are you buying this? Do you really need it?Overspending. When you use credit, do you pay more than you would if you paid cash. Face the past bad decisions you have made. Lending money to friends and family. Does helping them change their relationship with money? Does it fix their problem? Credit Cards. Build credit with only 2 credit cards. Or are you trying to live beyond your means?  Student Loans- What is it going to really cost you? Figure out how to save your money. Pay yourself first. Talk about money as a couple. Come together. 

Handle Your Money and Build a Legacy Together

Marriage isn’t a fifty-fifty proposition. Conducting your relationship as a business deal will get you in a lot of trouble. Since we live in a competitive culture, we see things thru a capitalist lens, prompting us toward seeing things as quid pro quo or tit for tat rather than giving more freely and less conditionally. Instead of real giving of yourself, you see relationships as an investment, expecting a return,  and if you don’t get a return you feel resentment.What you need to agree on: Finances: Who is going to earn? Both? How much do we need? What is she makes more? What if he makes more? Who is responsible for paying the bills? Children: Main Care giver, Main teacher, Main disciplinarian. Also decide What are we going to share at each phase. Baby, who wakes up, changing, feeding. Toddler, teaching, discipline Teen, Discipline, instruction. Should be a team effort. Who is better at what?When the flow of giving stops, both people suffer and the relationship suffers. The climate of the relationship deteriorates, and a downward spiral can spin out of control.Ask yourself is your relationship person or is it transactional?Figure out each other’s Love Languages.  Our greatest joy begins to come not from getting what we want, but from seeing the delight in our partner’s eyes when they receive our offerings.  It is more important to meet His needs and Her Needs than to focus on splitting finances.Focus on giving 100/100 to the RELATIONSHIP to maintain the connection and intimacy.

Why 50 50 Relationships Don't Work.

If you are doing the following things, you are cheating:If my partner asked me about my chats, comments, and messages to others on social media, do I hide some messages?Do you sometimes like to chat or message ex’s online?Sometimes, instead of going to my partner, Do you share deep emotional or intimate information with others online?Do the above statements apply to you? Spending time with another person outside of your relationship is time spent away from a partner, which is one of the elements that affects judgments of infidelity. The top ways Social Media is driving you apart.Time spent on Social Media is time NOT spent with your partner. Couples spend time on social media, even when they are together.Social Media is the perfect opportunity for you to compare your partner with others.Social Media makes you irritable and annoyed. This is the first sign of addiction.Social Media makes it easier to go beyond what is normally acceptable.Using Social Media to deal with relationship problems instead of facing them head on and talk about them.  

Does Social Media Lead to Problems in Your Relationship?

Healthy Relationships vs Unhealthy Relationship What is a Healthy Relationship?The easy answer is that it looks different for every couple. However, I realized a long time ago that if we didn&apos;t grow up with parents who had wonderful ways of relating to one another, that there was virtually nowhere else to turn to find a healthy couple to learn from. This leaves the ways that happy and healthy couples relate as secrets that many of us don&apos;t get to experience. But First  Unhealthy Relationshipsverbal and emotional abuse (name-calling, intimidation, threats, shaming, belittling);Financial abusepatterns of control and isolation; violence of any kind; violation of boundaries; and emotional manipulation. If you are experiencing things like this in any of your relationships, I would suggest getting help right away to address it.Also think about a variety of relationships in your lifea close friend, your partner, your ex, a family relationship, or others. Each point will work out differently depending on the relationship, and each may also reveal an area for improvement. Also remember that no one can do these perfectly all the time, and most relationships have issues in some dimensions.8 Keys to Healthy Relationships1. Taking Interest2. Acceptance & Respect3. Positive Regard4. Meeting Basic Needs5. Positive Interactions6. Solve Problems7. Rupture & Repair8. Reciprocity

Healthy or Unhealty Relationship. Which One is Yours?

Focus on small acts of kindness. Boosts your mood. Do t be stingy with each other. You need some water? Pay attention to your inner voice that creates distance. Don’t listen to negative/critical voice on your shoulder. No self sabotage with the inner voice. Don’t allow it prevent you from being vulnerable. Be aware of fantasies you may form. An illusion of oneness vs 2 distinct people working together to create a great marriage. “We don’t do this”, “we don’t do that”...instead of honoring differences and celebrating yin and yang; respecting and celebrating differences while working together. Help your partner feel secure. Not all the focus on yourself. Breaks down empathy and understanding. How can I make them feel more secure? Cell phone not in bed? Are they feeling heard? Cutting down social life if she feels threatened by it. Finding the balance of feeling understand and balanced. Willing to be vulnerable. We have a lowering tolerance for love than we think. Feel your sadness and stay vulnerable. Great joy comes with great sadness. It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

5 Most Important Relationship Tips for the New Year

Joyfully Married After with Heath and Tracy is a weekly 30 min podcast discussing relationships, specializing in premarital preparedness and inter-marital improvement. We want you Joyfully Married After everything. Heath and Tracy are relationship strategists, specializing in premarital preparedness and improving your marriage. We want our listeners married and motivated. We'll discuss our journey with sex, money, disagreements in marriage, fighting fair when you have disagreements in marriage. We'll also cover things like improving communication, how to handle trust issues in marriage and learn how to avoid divorce. Since we have four children, expect to hear discussion techniques on keeping your marriage strong despite inevitable disagreements on how to raise the kids and keep life in balance. So if you want to be an awesome mate and how to avoid the minefields in relationships, tune in every week! Don't forget to check out HeathandTracy.com

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Joyfully Married After

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