My sweet Mom passed out in the shower last Friday evening. After fainting, she fell backwards, landed hard on the floor, and broke her wrist. As it turns out, she collapsed as the result of anemia and low hemoglobin, which required a few days of observation in the hospital to elevate.    In a surreal coincidence, her room is on the exact same floor as --and stunningly just three doors away from-- the entrance to the Burn Center where I was treated 35 years earlier.    My friends, we often cheapen our ability to positively influence another human being because we don't have the right status, don’t feel we are enough or worry we lack the proper words.    Today I share a reminder that it’s not having the right words that elevate the life of a friend who is struggling. It’s having the courage to show up, the willingness to be present and the audacity to simply listen.

Live Inspired Podcast with John O'Leary

The Power of Showing Up (Monday Moment ep. 439)

Did you know... Two-thirds of Americans report feeling lonely, and that's even before the pandemic. The average American hasn’t made a new friend in the last five years. Loneliness is as toxic as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Today, psychologist and friendship expert Dr. Marisa Franco shares her research in the science of friendship and the powerful benefits platonic friendships have on our overall wellbeing. In a season of social fragmentation and rampant loneliness, join us as we provide the tools needed to make, maintain and deepen friendships. SHOW NOTES: Struggling after a breakup in her 20s, Marisa built a support system that taught her romantic love was not the only love that mattered. “It’s a gift to give love just as much as it is to receive love.” For friendships to happen, sociologists have determined we need continuous unplanned interaction and shared vulnerably. Research finds that loneliness is as toxic as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Make new friends but keep the old: Assume others like you because if you assume rejection, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. The Liking Gap is the difference between how much we think another person likes us and how much they actually like us. Most people underestimate how much another person liked them and the more self-critical, the more pronounced this is. Friendship networks are shrinking. We are four to five times more likely to have no friends than we were decades ago. Having a trusted confidant is the best way to fight against depression. Embrace vulnerability. The “beautiful mess effect” reminds us that we take a more negative view of our own vulnerability than we do of others and by having the courage to show our vulnerability, we will become more connected with others. When our mental health is suffering, we tend to focus more on ourselves which affects our relationships. In his book Bowling Alone, Robert Putnam finds the television as the biggest culprit for why we disengage with society because it creates pseudo-connection and lethargy. Marisa’s research has taught her the importance of working through problems with friends and recognizing the gift of not only receiving love but giving it. Marisa encourages to meet others with habitual open-mindedness. "Anything you do to better your connection with others will also better your mental health and wellbeing." Five ways to elevate friendships: Assume others like you. Initiate new friendships. Tell your friends how much you love and value them. Be more vulnerable. Try to accept your friends for who they are and not what you think they should be. Interested in being a better friend? Take Dr. Marisa Franco's Friendship Survey here. Due to publish in September, pre-order Dr. Marisa Frano's book Plantonic here. DR. MARISA FRANCO'S LIVE INSPIRED 7 Q. What is the best book you’ve ever read? A. All About Love by Bell Hooks. Q. What is a characteristic or trait that you possessed as a child that you wish you still exhibited today? A. The ability to let loose and have fun. Q. Your house is on fire, all living things and people are out. You have the opportunity to run in and grab one item. What would it be? A. My laptop because it’s my second brain and has access to all the information I share on friendships. A necklace my brother bought me when we were in a state of conflict. Q. You are sitting on a bench overlooking a gorgeous beach. You have the opportunity to have a long conversation with anyone living or dead. Who would it be? A. Oscar Wilde. Q. What is the best advice you’ve ever received? A. Trust yourself. Q. What advice would you give your 20-year-old self? A. Feel your feelings. Q. It’s been said that all great people can have their lives summed up in one sentence. How do you want yours to read? A. She healed people. 

Make New Friends with Dr. Marisa Franco (ep. 438)

What can we gain in living from a place of unconditional love? On this Valentine’s Day, whether you are going on a hot date with your special someone, heading out with dear friends, or longingly waiting for the phone to ring, be reminded of the overwhelming demands true love requires and the profound blessing it delivers in return. Ultimately, the way we discover the love we seek is to let go of our needs, remain absolutely vulnerable in the face of fear, say yes to serving others, allow our hearts to be broken repeatedly and strive diligently to make our lives about something far bigger than ourselves.

What Can We Gain From Unconditional Love?

Three-time Olympian Devon Harris has achieved his greatness. Starting as a barefoot boy trying to win a track race, Devon became a member of Jamaica’s first Olympic bobsled team. SHOW NOTES: As a young boy living in the slums of Kingston, Jamaica, Devon would stand near a light post to see the people living well-off in the distance and it motivated him to see a brighter future. Your biography is not your destiny. The whining, the complaining the justifying, until you stop that you remain powerless to improve your situation. Wi lickle, but wi tallawah! It means we are small, but we are powerful. This attitude allows us as Jamaicans to consistently punch above our weight class. We simply believe that we can do anything. The original Jamaican bobsled Olympic team in 1988 inspired the Disney film Cool Runnings. Devon competed in 3 Olympics: 1988 in Calgary, 1992 in France and 1998 in Japan. DEVON HARRIS' LIVE INSPIRED 7 Q. What is the best book you’ve ever read? A. The Art of Selfishness by David Seabury. Q. What is a characteristic or trait that you possessed as a child that you wish you still exhibited today? A. Persistence. Q. Your house is on fire, all living things and people are out. You have the opportunity to run in and grab one item. What would it be? A. A photo collage of my family. Q. You are sitting on a bench overlooking a gorgeous beach. You have the opportunity to have a long conversation with anyone living or dead. Who would it be? A. Fellow Jamaican Sam Sharpe and Nelson Mandela. Q. What is the best advice you’ve ever received? A. My Army Capitan said, "have a good sense of humor." Q. What advice would you give your 20-year-old self? A. Slow down a little and enjoy the process. Q. It’s been said that all great people can have their lives summed up in one sentence. How do you want yours to read? A. He was a good father, husband and friend. 

Jamaican Bobsledder Devon Harris (ep. 436)

After our region was dumped with as much as a foot of ice and snow, I was surprised when a client moved forward with a live, in-person event last week -- although I shouldn’t have been. The name of this fearless organization derives its name from a fearless dog that raced through a blizzard to save lives. My friends, too often we ignore our potential for significance. Because we don’t have the same talent as others, or lack the position in the organization to directly impact outcome, or lack charisma, appearance or resources, we cheapen our ability to dramatically impact others through our lives. In the midst of whatever storm may appear in your life this week, be inspired by today's story. 

Should We Keep Going? (Monday Moment ep. 435)

For 18 years, Daniel Jones' mission has been to publish honest personal essays about contemporary relationships in his popular New York Times column Modern Love. It has spawned a podcast and a TV series by the same name, all focused on love. Love lost, love found and love reclaimed. Love that’s romantic, familial, platonic and unexpected. Most of all, stories celebrating love as it exists in real life. Today, Dan shares the genesis of Modern Love, some of the most memorable essays and what he's learned from reading hundreds of thousands of complex love stories. ** Learn more at JohnOLearyInspires.com **

Modern Love with Daniel Jones (ep. 434)

When we’ve experienced the sharp disappointment of being let down by others, when is the right time to accept what happened, embrace what is and move forward into what could be? Although debating exactly how long holding onto righteous anger is understandable, the example of Hiroo Onoda demonstrates the dangers of clutching it for too long. What do we do with the sharp disappointment of being let down by others? When is the right time to accept what happened? And when is it appropriate to embrace what is and move forward into what could be? It’s certainly easy to identify the ludicrous foolishness of a Japanese soldier fighting decades after the war had ended. It’s far more difficult, far more important and ultimately far more liberating to acknowledge there are battles in our own lives we no longer need to wage.

Are You Fighting a War Already Lost? (Monday Moment ep. 433)

Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor is a Harvard-trained and published neuroanatomist and author of the New York Times bestselling book My Stroke of Insight.  As irony would have it, at 37 years old, Dr. Jill experienced a severe hemorrhage in the left hemisphere of her brain. Within hours, she lost the ability to walk, talk, read, write, or recall any of her life. Today, Dr. Jill passionately shares her 8-year-long journey to rebuild her brain and recover all physical, emotional, and thinking abilities, in addition to her latest groundbreaking work: Whole Brain Living. Beyond neuroscience, this conversation will teach you how to work with your most powerful ally, your brain, and give you the insight to deepen your inner peace, joy, and fulfillment. SHOW NOTES: After her brother's diagnosis with schizophrenia, Dr. Jill became intrigued with the brain, earning her doctrine in neuroanatomy from Harvard. December 10, 1996: At 37 years old, a blood vessel in Jill's brain exploded and within four hours, was unable to function. Grateful to be alive, Dr. Jill spent eight years recovering her ability to think, walk and talk. With over 30 million views, watch Dr. Jill's popular TED Talk here. The right hemisphere of our brain is in the moment whereas the left hemisphere is more calculated and has linearity of time. Four characters of the brain: Character 1, Left Thinking; Character 2, Left Emotion; Character 3, Right Emotion; and Character 4, Right Thinking. Get a copy of Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor's New York Times bestselling book My Stroke of Insight here and Whole Brain Living here. After her brother’s diagnosis with schizophrenia, Dr. Jill became intrigued with the brain, earning her doctrine in neuroanatomy from Harvard. December 10, 1996: At 37 years old, a blood vessel in Jill’s brain exploded and within four hours, was unable to function. Grateful to be alive, Dr. Jill spent eight years recovering her ability to think, walk and talk. With over 30 million views, watch Dr. Jill’s popular TED Talk here. The right hemisphere of our brain is in the moment whereas the left hemisphere is more calculated and has linearity of time. Four characters of the brain: Character 1, Left Thinking; Character 2, Left Emotion; Character 3, Right Emotion; and Character 4, Right Thinking. Get a copy of Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor’s New York Times bestselling book My Stroke of Insight here and Whole Brain Living here. DR. JILL BOLTE TAYLOR'S LIVE INSPIRED 7 Q. What is the best book you’ve ever read? A. Please Understand Me by David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates. Q. What is a characteristic or trait that you possessed as a child that you wish you still exhibited today? A. Play and joy. Q. Your house is on fire, all living things and people are out. You have the opportunity to run in and grab one item. What would it be? A. My computer. I have a beautiful portrait of my mother but it's on my computer. Q. You are sitting on a bench overlooking a gorgeous beach. You have the opportunity to have a long conversation with anyone living or dead. Who would it be?  A. An unknown who needed some love. Q. What is the best advice you’ve ever received?  A. Don't believe everything your brain says to you. Q. What advice would you give your 20-year-old self? A. Everything is going to be okay. Q. It’s been said that all great people can have their lives summed up in one sentence. How do you want yours to read?  A. I want to skid into home base completely used up, completely scarred up, completely messed up because I really lived as I ran the bases of life. 

Stroke of Insight with Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor (ep. 432)

What if the very thing we worry about making us somehow unattractive or unworthy is in reality the very thing that makes us most beautiful and loveable? In a marketplace that celebrates physical perfection and individual accomplishment, one of the last lessons taught by Mother Teresa reminds us what matters most. Learn more about Bill McKendry on Live Inspired Podcast ep. 430 here.

Do You Have Ugly Feet? (Monday Moment ep. 431)

Growing up with parents who were deaf, Bill McKendry has a unique perspective on communication and the power it holds.  In fact, it's what ignited his passion to be a voice and communicator for those who need help.  At the height of his successful 35-year career in advertising and marketing, Bill left a large advertising agency to launch non-profit DO MORE GOOD. Using his expertise from iconic brands including American Express and Target, Bill focuses on magnifying the missions of non-profits to multiply their impact.  Join us for a conversation about using challenges as a way to meet others with empathy, passion and do more good. SHOW NOTES: Do More Good helps to magnify the missions of non-profits and multiply their impact through marketing, communications and branding. Before learning to speak, Bill communicated through American Sign Language with his parents who were deaf since birth. Native to Michigan, Bill fell in love with Colorado at 14 years old and continues to maintain a connection to the area. Do More Good: In 1994, Bill drafted the plan for a world-changing advertising agency that would dedicate at least 50% of its profits to amplify the message of non-profits. If you're going to do good, do great. Pitching early client Mel Trotter Ministries, Bill recognized the power of "big brand campaigns" would have on agencies doing good. Bill shares the moving and memorable experience of meeting Mother Teresa.  Get a copy of Bill McKendry's book Do More Good here. If you enjoyed today’s episode… Hear how Coach Kathy Bresnahan led a grieving high school volleyball team to a state championship. Anyone who has struggled to overcome a challenge in life will appreciate this story of strength and perseverance. Listen to ep. 89 now. BILL MCKENDRY'S LIVE INSPIRED 7 Q. What is the best book you’ve ever read? A. The Bible and Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. Q. What is a characteristic or trait that you possessed as a child that you wish you still exhibited today? A. Over-the-top optimism. Q. Your house is on fire, all living things and people are out. You have the opportunity to run in and grab one item. What would it be? A. My laptop. Q. You are sitting on a bench overlooking a gorgeous beach. You have the opportunity to have a long conversation with anyone living or dead. Who would it be?  A. Jesus or C.S. Lewis. Q. What is the best advice you’ve ever received?  A. "Never, never, never give up," by Winston Churchill. Q. What advice would you give your 20-year-old self? A. I believe every part of my journey was important. I wish I could have gotten a lot more serious about doing more good earlier in my life. Q. It’s been said that all great people can have their lives summed up in one sentence. How do you want yours to read?  A. He was a man that was willing to do more good. 

Do More Good with Bill McKendry (ep. 430)

"We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty." - Maya Angelou Birthdays, anniversaries and holidays are obvious dates to celebrate. Bake a cake, light the candles, sing a song, gather together, toast to life. But what do we do with the dates that remind us not of what we have, but of all we lost? How should we treat those anniversaries? For my family and me, one such date is January 17th. On that date 35 years ago, I was burned on 100% of my body. We all face fires in life; we all get burned. Ultimately whether our life story is an epic to celebrate or a tragedy to mourn has surprisingly little to do with the events within our lives and far more to do with the manner in which we respond to those events.

35th Anniversary of the Fire (Monday Moment ep. 429)

Mattie Jackson Selecman dreamt of being an author, yet she never expected her first book Lemons On Friday would be about the tragic + unexpected loss of her beloved husband of 11 months. Daughter of country megastar Alan Jackson and New York Times bestselling author Denise Jackson, Mattie became a widow at 28 years old and was forced to navigate a future drastically different from the one she had planned. Relying on her faith, she embarked on a deeply personal journey through devastating loss and the difficult dance that followed. This conversation is a reminder that no heartbreak or loss is unredeemable and by confidently clinging to hope, we can truly heal. SHOW NOTES: Value of work + humility: Growing up in the quintessential country music family, Mattie is grateful for how her parents raised her and her siblings. In her book, It's All About Him, Mattie's mom Denise candidly shared her and Alan's marital struggles, giving Mattie the confidence to share her own difficult journey. Intrigued by the history, science and art of wine, Mattie spent six years owning a wine bar restaurant. "You are the sweetest and best thing that ever happened to me." Mattie describes her late-husband Ben as joyful, abundant and filled with momentum for each day. Eleven months into their marriage, Ben suffered a fatal traumatic brain injury while vacationing in Florida. Nearly a year later, Mattie surrendered, chose to trust God and did not need to understand the "why" of her loss. Advice to those with friends, families and others close to someone experiencing a devastating loss: It’s less about what you do and more about being present. In the midst of being emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted, open-ended questions are overwhelming. Direct questions like “do you want to get lunch today or can I drop something off?” helped her manage to make even the simplest decisions. During difficult moments, such as baby showers, Mattie would recite Romans 12:15: Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Through researching heaven, Mattie found comfort in knowing where Ben was. Books that helped her were Randy Alcorn's Heaven and John Burke's Imagine Heaven. Approaching the two-year anniversary of Ben's death, Mattie wrote Racing the Dark, sung by her father, to fight the instinct to run away and find the courage to face challenges. "Grief is less about learning not to hurt. It's more about learning how you hurt and how to navigate it." Learn more about Mattie's give-back company NaSHEville, which helps women and children in need-specifically orphans, widows, and trafficked women, here. Get a copy of Mattie Jackson Selecman's Lemons On Friday here.  

Courage to Grieve with Mattie Jackson Selecman (ep. 428)

When I was just nine-years-old laying on what was expected to be my deathbed after a house fire, my mother guided me with a question that changed the trajectory of my life: John, do you want to die? That day we made a commitment to faithfully, courageously and collectively fight on. We had no idea of what tomorrow might hold. All we knew was the fight was on.

"John, Do you Want to Die?" (Monday Moment ep. 427)

After narrowly escaping the devastation of 9/11, Kushal Choksi recognized he had been so consumed in pursuing the “American dream” that he had forgotten to pursue his own. From being a Wall Street trader immersed in the material world, Kushal embarked on a quest to find answers to life's biggest questions. Today, hear Kushal share how he explored his doubts with spirituality, the peace he ultimately found and what it means for you. SHOW NOTES: Kushal grew up in a densely populated small town in India where he could drive a bike from one side to the other in 20 minutes. Beautiful balance: He admired his dad’s razor-sharp intellect and refreshing happiness. For the first time since being in America, Kushal witnessed fear on 9/11. Ecclesiastes 12:8: “Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Everything is meaningless!” While initially uncertain, Kushal began practicing SKY breathing with spiritual leader Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. SKY Breathing: Uses the natural rhythms in our breath to harmonize the different functions in our system including perception, cognition, intellect, physical and memory. “To move forward in life, one must use the mind. To move inward one must drop the mind.” – Sri Sri Ravi Shankar “Effort is the key in the relative. Effortlessness is the key to the absolute.” – Sri Sri Ravi Shankar “You need not be afraid of losing control because you had none to lose.” If you enjoyed today’s episode… You’ll love hearing from Jeanne Celestine Lakin. As a survivor of the Rwandan Genocide, Jeanne reminds us that we all have the power to choose forgiveness, leave a legacy of peace and move forward.  Listen to ep. 346 now.   KUSHAL CHOKSI'S LIVE INSPIRED 7 Q. What is the best book you’ve ever read? A. The Q. What is a characteristic or trait that you possessed as a child that you wish you still exhibited today? A. Being naturally free. Q. Your house is on fire, all living things and people are out. You have the opportunity to run in and grab one item. What would it be? A. My six-string guitar. Q. You are sitting on a bench overlooking a gorgeous beach. You have the opportunity to have a long conversation with anyone living or dead. Who would it be?  A. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. Q. What is the best advice you’ve ever received?  A. Take life as a game. Enjoy the journey. Q. What advice would you give your 20-year-old self? A. Enjoy the journey. Q. It’s been said that all great people can have their lives summed up in one sentence. How do you want yours to read?  A. He lived a very content and happy life. *** About our sponsor: Keeley Companies wholeheartedly believes that if you get the people right -the results will follow. They set themselves apart with a forward-thinking culture that empowers their people and fosters loyal partnerships. Keeley Companies are a proud sponsor, partner, and super fan of the Live Inspired Podcast. Learn more about Keeley Companies. 

On a Wing and a Prayer (Kushal Choksi ep. 426)

"Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out." - John Wooden   Life will happen, challenges will mount, headwind will blow, difficulties will arise and the year ahead will become far different than the one you currently imagine. And yet, the power of one reminds us that although we cannot always choose the path we walk in life, we are always free to choose the manner in which we walk it. The choice we make makes a mighty difference in our lives – and the lives of those we encounter. Today, this week and into the year ahead, choose to treat others with dignity and compassion. Soften your voice, smile more often, laugh more easily, seek to understand, unclench your fist, open your heart and recognize that this life – that indeed your life – is a profound gift.

When the Valet Lost my Car (Monday Moment ep. 425)

Expected to die, today he’s inspiring others to truly live. World-renowned inspirational speaker + national bestselling author John O’Leary wants to help you wake up from accidental living so you can do, be, achieve and impact more through your life. Every Monday, John shares a quick burst of inspiration to help start your week on fire. Every Thursday, John interviews an amazing guest on their story, successes, failures, lessons, and life to help you uncover tips to apply in yours.

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Live Inspired Podcast with John O'Leary

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