This week on MYTH, we’re headed back to the primordial mists of creation itself in a listener suggestion episode.  You’ll learn that you should never piss off a giant lion goddess, that the Eye of Sauron needs to step up its game, and that dyeing your beer can be a religious experience.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll meet the OG phoenix.

Myths Your Teacher Hated Podcast

Episode 77 - How Beer Saved the World

This week on MYTH, we’re getting down and dirty with one of the best-known stories ever told.  You’ll see that you should never piss off magic fairies (or birds), that trees are almost as good as mothers, and that princes can’t recognize anybody.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll see that even friendly hippos are jerks.

Episode 76 - Cinderella

This week on MYTH, we’ll finally reach the long-awaited conclusion to our epic journey.  You’ll discover that Odysseus doesn’t trust anybody, that Penelope is a good match for her returned husband, and that there’s always time for just a little more brutal violence.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll learn the mythological origins of the Ghost of Sparta.

Episode 72Y - King of Ithaca

This week on MYTH, it’s the penultimate episode of the Odyssey, and things are going to get bloody.  You’ll see why you shouldn’t let a beggar play suitor games, why you shouldn’t let a servant into your chimney, and why you shouldn’t let a goddess perch in your rafters.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, it’s the story behind Odysseus’ famous bow.

Episode 72X - A Red Wedding

This week on MYTH, things are finally approaching the bloody finale with only three episodes left.  You’ll discover that siblings always have similar sounding names, that people like to throw things at Odysseus, and that getting your feet washed is a good way to get caught.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, it’s basically a Shakespearean tragedy - for reals.

Episode 72W - The Last Straw

This week on MYTH, Odysseus is going to have a chance to size up the competition.  You’ll discover that it’s hard out there for a beggar, that some things are too cruel even for the other villains, and that everyone is ready to murder the suitors.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll learn how seven stars can become six in only 100,000 years.

Episode 72V - The Beggar King

This week on MYTH, it’s a long overdue reunion, tender and tearful.  You’ll see that if you want murder done you should probably do it yourself, that Odysseus is very confident in his battle skills, and that Penelope can only take so much before she loses it.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, it’s the towering bronze giant standing between you and your Cretan vacation.

Episode 72U - Family Reunion

This week on MYTH, we’ll have tests and omens and portents, oh my.  You’ll discover that you can read the future in a bird’s dinner, that Odysseus likes to test the people helping him, and that pirates are a real problem.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, be vewy vewy quiet - we’we hunting...evewything.

Episode 72T - Good Omens

This week on MYTH, Odysseus is home.  You’ll see that Athena is finally ready to come clean, that Odysseus can be shockingly oblivious, and that swineherds are the best people.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll discover why you should never be the lookout for a cheating god.

Episode 72S - Return of the King

This week on MYTH, Odysseus will finally catch a real break in his attempts to get home.  You’ll see that random prophecies are never actually random, that magic sleep is the best sleep, and that Poseidon hates public transit.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll learn that it’s wrong to throw a baby off a mountain.

Episode 72R - Take Me Home Country Roads

This week on MYTH, Odysseus is going to find help in unexpected places.  You’ll see that it’s a bad idea to creep around a princess, that sometimes hiding is easy, and what to do if someone asks you if you’re a god.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, Zeus is going to get freaky with a cow instead of as one.

Episode 72Q - On the Road Again

This week on MYTH, Odysseus is getting wrecked.  You’ll see that scarves are the perfect accessory, that leaves make a great bed but not a great outfit, and that Odysseus would kill for a fig leaf.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll see why you should never trust infants.

Episode 72P - Naked and Afraid

This week on MYTH, it’s time for Odysseus to make a final push towards home.  You’ll see that Odysseus is a liar, that not all goddesses are jealous, and that rafts can be fancy.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, it doesn’t pay to brag about how many kids you have.

Episode 72O - Homeward Bound

This week on MYTH, Telemachus’ secret is about to get out.  You’ll discover that you really shouldn’t blame a slave for what a prince does, that the suitors are really bad at being villains, and that talking in your sleep can be helpful.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll see what happens when you piss off a naked Artemis.

Episode 72N - Secrets and Lies

This week on MYTH, Telemachus is finally going to catch up on some of what you already know.  You’ll see that bulls can agree to be sacrificed, that Helen has a stash of happy drugs, and that everyone likes Odysseus as long as they don’t have to be around him.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, it’s Europe’s origin story.

Episode 72M - Sacrificial Bull

This is the Myths Your Teach Hated, a weekly podcast where I tell the stories of cultures around the world in all of their original, bloody, uncensored glory. Modern tellings of these stories have become dry and dusty, but I’ll be trying to breathe new life into them. These stories are NSFW.

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Myths Your Teacher Hated Podcast

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