You may have left an organized religion but that doesn't mean you've gained admittance into Jessie or Claire's heart. The ladies chat about religion and dating after Jessie had an unorthodox date. Claire admits her bias when swiping but realizes it's her own issues with organized religion. The good news is she asked out a lady this week! Bad news, she was rejected. Turns out dating isn't easy no matter your preference.  (end song Losing My Religion by REM) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nosuchthingaslove/support

No Such Thing As Love

Swiping Left on God

Jessie is at the height of her game and Claire is winding down for her final act. At least that's what she feels from the recent confirmation she's perimenopausal. The trickery is that she also has chlamydia so fun can be had at any age! Jessie reached a new level of euphoria with Mr Rain which unlocked the sex goddess witch within her. It's the season of witches after all.  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nosuchthingaslove/support

Lab Result Truths

You may not recognize them but Jessie and Claire are now athletes who do not endorse blue boobing, catfishing, or willpower. But are split on the benefits of a small dose of jealousy. This week's listicle is 7 Things Men Do That Women Hate and spoiler alert: they're all true for every human. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nosuchthingaslove/support

Blue Boobing

Hot off Bi Visibility Week, Jessie and Claire dig into what they think about labels for sexual attraction and orientation. Is it too many? Does anyone really care about them? Or are they comforting for those who have felt excluded for so long? They also talk about the preconceived judgements of bi identifying men vs women. And Claire shares a label she's becoming more comfortable with. The comprehensive list of terms they discuss is in 46 Terms That Describe Sexual Attraction, Behavior, and Orientation.  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nosuchthingaslove/support

What's In A Label

Need a trick to get the ladies to like you? Be generous with compliments for Claire's attention and drip hot fudge all over your body for Jessie's admiration. The highlight of Claire's week was a compliment of her vaginal region but then quickly followed by her lowlight: receiving a confusing message via meme. Jessie had high hopes for her 2nd date but her stomach had other plans. She was able to put in the make-out time and sang along to Don't Worry Be Happy before she knew for sure, he's not her person. Lastly, the ladies celebrate National Singles Week by talking through How Can Being Single Improve your Mental Health. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nosuchthingaslove/support

Don't Worry Be Horny

The ladies are figuring out their type. Their type of fashion, their type of communication, and their type of attraction.  Jessie tried to date outside her type and was only reassured of what she likes when seeing the wind blow through her non-type's hair. Claire can spot Jessie's type even when she's shopping for herself. She's reached out to a few bearded men on the apps about connecting with her best friend. No successful connections yet but she's changing how she approaches them now. The ladies break down the relationship issues within their new favorite show, 7 Year Switch. They solve of the marital issues seen because the ladies are clearly experts on marriages after all these years of being single.  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nosuchthingaslove/support

Bearded Lady

Its officially double digit season with Jessie celebrating 33 this week and Claire sitting pretty in 44. The ladies are also celebrating Sexual Health Month by encouraging everyone to get their undercarriages checked. Claire had multiple missed connections: one honest with his mental health, one that fully ghosted, and one who believes she's a bad texter with only him. We all know, he's not that special. Jessie found herself in an unexpected crime scene when her cycle was kickstarted from major fun in the boudoir. She also had a full daytime make-out in the park after showing up as her authentic self. The ladies found a new favorite show, 7 Year Switch. Catch up on season 2 and they'll dive into the juicy deets and opinions next week. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nosuchthingaslove/support

Double 3s

Is there more to life than a person's looks? Jessie really hopes so. She's actually reading guys' profiles now and broadening her height range. Maybe the key to happiness looks a little different than what she imagined. On the flipside, Claire hooked up with a guy only because he was hot. He unfortunately proved her theory that hot guys aren't good lovers. The ladies also talk about hairy vs balding men, the ultimate doc of app questions, and when dirty talk crosses the line into degrading talk. (end song U Got The Look by Prince) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nosuchthingaslove/support

Skin Deep

If you send an insincere "I miss you," you've terminated the relationship. At least that's how Jessie reacts to the hail mary. She also experienced a traumatic incident in the wild that included a goodbye kiss. In broad daylight. Claire visited an old Feelder that may not have fulfilled her physically but more than satisfied her ego. The ladies also review 5 Questions to Ask on a First Date (& 2 to Avoid) to prep Jessie for her date later that night.  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nosuchthingaslove/support

I Don't Miss You

Tell tale signs of a slump? Eating poorly? Check. Spending copious amounts of money? Check. Fully disconnecting from your body while choosing to be with someone of no interest just so you aren't alone? Check. Jessie walks us through her recent dip and the poor decisions that followed. Claire went on a date that was 4 years in the making. Unfortunately her body issues crept in to negate any attraction she might have had for a man more slender than her.  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nosuchthingaslove/support

Other Side of the Slump

You know it's a good week when everyone got cuddled. Desperate for a kind, comforting touch, Claire hired a professional cuddler. She broke down some barriers while nervously talking during the full hour. Jessie got some extra cuddling from a recent recurring character, Mr Rain. She had an extensive talk with her old self who kept asking for her to clarify the relationship. Turns out, her old self may just need a cuddle too.  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nosuchthingaslove/support

Cuddle My Coffin

Inspired by their physical equal, Simone Biles, the ladies needed to take a mental health break last week. Thankfully they're back in action with stories about Claire feeling petite for the first and only time in her life, Jessie's lip swelling to the size of an angry army mere minutes before a date, and the ongoing effort to unlearn insecurity triggers. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nosuchthingaslove/support

We're Back!

All Jessie & Claire ask is that you get to know them before you give them a nickname. Claire returns from her family beach trip burned and emotionally intact. Thank heavens because in an attempt to schedule a date, she was called by her prospect so he could talk at her about how her propensity for planning prevented him from being a man. Guess how long it took her to cancel? Jessie found an easy enough local guy when looking for a connection. She's figuring out her new boundaries and how to win over his roommate's dog. It's always the animals who can sniff out faulty character traits.  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nosuchthingaslove/support

Boss Daddies

Jessie & Claire have made the full circle of their sexual walkabouts and need a little more romancing. Or maybe they just want compliments. Jessie talks about the mental debate of how physical she should be on a first date with potential. Thankfully she had the rain to romantically set her Hallmark movie scene. Claire is healing her beach trip metaphorical and physical burns while reminiscing about her date with a 6'10" dad bod. While she felt up his bod, she felt fully disconnected to hers. It must have been the lack of flowers.  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nosuchthingaslove/support

You Don't Bring Me Flowers

According to the article 8 Sure Signs You’re Good at Love by Karen Nimmo, Jessie and Claire should be FANTASTIC at love. So what’s the hold up this week? Jessie’s body called a time out and Claire is trying to be patient with how she’s fundamentally changed in the last year. BUT she’s at least back on Feeld & Hinge hoping to fundamentally satiate some physical needs. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nosuchthingaslove/support

Lucky Ladies

Terminally single comedians, Jessie Jolles & Claire Burns, no longer believe love exists. Thankfully for us, they’re selflessly in the trenches dating to prove they are right. Laugh with them while they regale us with their dating woes and bring on special guests like a dating coach to dissect their profiles, an ex to explain what went wrong, fellow comedians to share their stories of dating, and actual blind dates that happen in the studio. Listen each week to see what new evidence they’ll have that love will never exist for them. Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nosuchthingaslove/support

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No Such Thing As Love

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