Lauren Rodych-Eberle is one of the hosts of the Kids Who Explore podcast, which encourages families to connect with nature and explore the outdoors together. She is the owner of Miss Lauren’s Music Studio, where she teaches voice, piano, ukulele, and preschool music classes, and she is the author of several cookbooks. Lauren has a deep passion for food, hiking, adventure, and travel, and she is just an all-around cool person. We connected on Instagram over tips to handle ticks, and I am so excited to talk to her on the podcast today.  We begin with Lauren’s hiking essentials, including a lint roller, TickWise organic tick spray, and a First Aid Kit. We address the pressure parents put on themselves to tackle huge summits, stay on track, and not let their kids stop and explore trails. Lauren offers her advice to keep hikes short, sweet, and fun so that your kids will want to go again, and we look at how hiking builds grit from a young age. Lauren shares her idea to make summer and winter bucket lists, and we trade hilarious parenting stories about dealing with teenagers versus toddlers. We chat about how the most relaxed days with our kids are often the most memorable, why little ones should skip sippy cups altogether, and the inspiration behind Kids Who Explore with founder Adrianna Skori.  Lauren’s fascinating insights remind us that getting outside doesn’t have to be an extravagant undertaking - just getting out the door or putting your feet in the grass will have a tremendous impact on your life, and open up a world of adventure that you can enjoy safely with your kids. Thank you for your listening, and I appreciate your patronage more than I can say.  For more information on my potty training and parenting resources, please visit the links below.   The Finer Details of This Episode: Lauren is one of the hosts of the Kids Who Explore podcast They want to help kids get outdoors She also owns a music studio, teaches music, writes cookbooks, and has a passion for adventure Lauren and I connected on Instagram over a post on ticks Tips to use a lint roller after being outdoors, wear white Her backpack essentials for hiking trips include all-natural TickWise organic spray, lint roller, First Aid Kit, water, snacks, bear spray, clothing layers, blanket, hat, and sunscreen Goal of Kids To Explore is just to get people out the front door, into nature, and not feel like they have to conquer a huge summit to go hiking Nature walks still qualify as hikes - whatever it takes to get your family outside A lot of parents feel they need to stay on track and do not want to stop and let their kids explore while hiking Keep the pace short, sweet, and fun so that your kids will want to go hiking again Exploring outdoors helps build grit Make time in nature a priority by investing in gear and including time for it in your schedule Lauren’s summer and winter bucket lists, and encouraging your kids to help you come up with ideas The importance of getting outside in the winter to help stave off depression and Cabin Fever Start looking for winter gear in the off-season to help mitigate the cost Most relaxed days with our kids are often the most memorable, like my days eating ice cream with Pascal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner Infantilizing problem with young kids, and instead encouraging them to skip over sippy cups altogether  They can start using open cups, like the Mini Cup, at 6 months  Parents can get obsessed with overhydrating their kids, which can complicate potty training and hinder building patience as a skill The inspiration behind Kids Who Explore with founder Adrianna Skori, and growing to 45,000 followers since launching in January 2021 Quotes “We want nature to help raise our kids.” “The big thing is that we don't want people to feel like it has to be this huge mountain, this huge summit, in order for people to feel like they've accomplished something. We just want people to literally get outside the front door.” “As long as it's not a paved, flat ground, I'm going to call it a hike.” “We have to keep this short and sweet. Because my goal is that the kids have fun. And by the end, they want to do it again. But if it's like you're pushing them along and rushing them, then they're not going to say they want to do that again.” “I make [a bucket list] every summer and every winter just to kind of give us ideas of fun things to go through. And so like this summer I'm making one that is super toddler-friendly for my daughter to do with me. And also very COVID-friendly, I guess, too, because not as many things are open.” “I think getting outside is super vital in the winter.” “Ideally, you're looking at secondhand winter gear when spring hits. Because it's going to be at its lowest price.” “So the sippy cup, I say get rid of it, especially with night training, because the kid is often sucking for comfort. So they're not thirsty. They're just taking it in.” “Even like you were saying with hiking, it's good to teach them right a little bit at a time.” “We were hiking together. And we started to be like, we need something - like we want our kids to be on all these adventures with us. We need something that makes sure that safety is at the forefront, and we can still do all these things and involve them.” “It's been such an amazing community that [friend and founder Adrianna Skori] has built up. And we've seen the impact, even just you sharing the tips and tricks, and people realizing it's easier than it looks just to get outside. It doesn't have to be this huge extravagant thing.”   Links: Jamie’s Homepage -  www.jamieglowacki.com Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -  www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Jamie’s Patreon Page -  www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?  Lauren Robych-Eberle’s website - www.LaurenRodychEberle.com Kids Who Explore website - www.KidsWhoExplore.com TickWise Organic Insect Repellent  The Mini Cup

Oh Crap I Love My Toddler... But Holy F*ck

Hiking And Getting Outside with Lauren Robych-Eberle of ‘Kids Who Explore’

After my recent Instagram post on the arc of a tantrum received such an overwhelming response, I decided to devote an entire podcast to dissecting all things tantrums, meltdowns, and big feelings. Tantrums are the most intense and send your child into an altered state where you’ll actually wonder if you’ve encountered the devil, whereas meltdowns will make you feel more sad for your poor little one who’s just tired and overwhelmed. Big feelings are a momentary freakout that end just as quickly as they came on. All three can meld and morph into each other, and today I’ll look at what’s normal, what’s not, why tantrums happen, and what we can do about them. Tantrums typically begin developmentally around the 16-month to 3-year mark, and coincide with explosive brain growth that happens during that time. At this age, kids do not yet have the language skills needed to express their thoughts, and tantrums could be caused by something as simple as needing to poop. In today’s episode, I clarify that a few tantrums a week is developmentally appropriate, and explain what to watch out for to determine whether your child’s tantrums are cause for concern (whether they act aggressively, where they are tantruming and with whom, how long they last). I discuss my Go To Your Room strategy to help your child self-regulate while having big feelings, how to fix meltdowns by addressing the root of the problem, and the window of opportunity to distract your child at the beginning of a tantrum. I review the entire arc of a tantrum, what you can do to handle them at each stage, and the importance of letting a tantrum cycle run its course.  Thank you for your patronage, and please visit the links below for more information on my potty training and parenting resources!   The Finer Details of This Episode: The difference between tantrums, meltdowns, and big feelings Tantrums have to do with intensity and presence - tantrums are usually longer than big feelings or meltdowns, and it will seem like your child is in an altered state Meltdowns have to do more with something out of your child’s control that’s affecting them (hungry, tired, sick, overstimulated) With a meltdown, you’ll feel more sad for how overwhelmed your child feels, whereas with a tantrum, you’ll wonder if you’ve encountered the devil Big feelings are different from big reactions - it’s a knee jerk reaction where your kid’s wires got crossed and they had a momentary freakout Big feelings tend to happen fast and end just as quickly Tantrums, meltdowns, and big feelings can meld and morph into each other What’s normal and what can we do about tantrums? Oftentimes, tantrums can be caused because of digestive issues or allergies, so please do not jump to conclusions that it is a behavioral issue Most behavioral therapists agree that tantrums are a demand for attention, a demand for something tangible, or an escape from a demand (putting on shoes, leaving the house) If the tantrum is not explainable, that could be edging into problem behavior Tantrums start developmentally around the 16-month to 3-year mark and it coincides with explosive brain development MRIs from newborn to five years old confirm the rapid brain development during this period A lot of times tantrums come on simply because the child’s brain circuitry gets jammed Language skills are also underdeveloped at that time and they do not have the words to express their thoughts or needs Tantrums after 3.5 years are concerning - they should not be happening regularly beyond ages 4 or 5 Frequency of tantrums will help you determine whether it’s normal behavior, as a few per week are developmentally appropriate Be cautious of brushing off behavior that’s out of the norm, as you child could really be suffering Keeping you and your child safe during a tantrum, and the difference between flailing and being purposefully aggressive Another marker to look for is whether your child is only tantruming with you versus at daycare, in public, at the playground - across the board If they’re having tantrums only with you, that means they feel safe with you and you’re actually a very good parent Average tantrum should only last between 6 to 12 minutes Role of food allergies and tracking whether certain foods trigger problem behaviors Huffington Post article How To Measure Whether Your Child’s Tantrums Are Normal Using the Go To Your Room strategy for big feelings and reactions so child can self-regulate on their own If your child is having a meltdown, you fix it - if they’re hungry, feed them; if they’re tired, adjust their sleep schedule Be cautious of overstimulation and plan your outings accordingly Keep in mind that everyone is allowed to have a shitty day, even kids In the arc of a tantrum, about a quarter of the way through, there is a window of opportunity where you can distract the child At the peak of tantrum is an opportunity to hold space - hear them, be present with inaction A big mistake parents make is trying to end the tantrum too early or interrupt it Think of a tantrum as a cycle that needs to complete itself  At the end, you want to hold your child tight and restore connection - do not process the tantrum If you are concerned about your kid’s tantrum behavior, consult a parenting expert like myself or your pediatrician   Quotes “Tantrums have to do with intensity and presence. So a tantrum, once it gets going, your child is gone. They’ve left the planet. They’re no longer in the room with you… They’re in an altered state. The intensity is going to be really strong. There’s nothing you can do to stop it.” “Meltdowns have to do more with something out of your child’s control that’s affecting them. So largely hungry, tired, sick, or overstimulated. A lot of times, too, I feel like a meltdown is when our expectations are off and we expect too much from the child, and they just can’t even.” “During a tantrum, you might actually feel like you’re meeting the devil.” “Big feelings are different from big reactions. And big reactions, yes, your child is having a big feeling. But it’s a knee jerk reaction and their wires got crossed, their skin is inside out, and they just had this momentary freakout. And that can be about anything.” “All of these can meld and morph into each other. A big feeling, a big reaction can lead to a tantrum. Likewise, meltdowns can turn into a tantrum as well.” “Oftentimes, tantrums can happen literally because the child has to poop!” “When we look at what’s normal or not - is it explainable? And if it is, let’s do something about it. Because unexplained tantrums kind of edge into not normal.” “I was privy to MRIs of brains in kids every day from newborn to five years old, and if you saw the brain development, you would freak out. It’s so rapid, it’s so crazy. It just explains so much of why our kids are such whack jobs at this age, because it is this rapid brain development.” “Definitely at 4 and 5, your child may occasionally have a tantrum, of course. They’re still little. They’re still learning… But you should not see 4 and 5 [year-olds] having tantrums regularly. “A few a week are developmentally appropriate.” “Ten tantrums a day is too much.” “The biggest problem with brushing off out-of-the-norm behavior is that we’re not getting to the root of the problem, and your child really could be suffering.” “If your child has no wherewithal of sort of ‘maintaining’ good behavior with strangers or at school, then something could be wrong.” “If you have half-hour tantrums, that is of concern. Also, if your child has a really hard time coming out of a tantrum.” “Big feelings and reactions - that is where I feel very strongly about my Go To Your Room strategy… It’s okay to have a big reaction. It’s not okay to have a kid screaming in your face.” “You want the child to self-regulate, and that often has to happen on its own.” “How we handle meltdowns is you fix it!” “Overstimulated - be really cautious with your kid who’s under 4. I really feel strongly that we should be keeping them away from overstimulation.” “A meltdown can happen because our expectations are too high.” “The arc of the tantrum starts, it's just like a curve. And so about a quarter of the way up, you do have this window of opportunity in which you may distract the tantrum. Distract the tantrum does not mean bribe your child.” “Once you've determined that they're gone, that's what I call it. They're gone. Just, don't try to logic. Don't try to distract them. Don't even look them in the eye.” “Think of it as a whole cycle, and they just have to get it out, and it has to complete itself.” “That's the arc of the tantrum. And I think that the biggest damage people do is trying to interrupt it or trying to stop it.”   Links: Jamie’s Homepage -  http://www.jamieglowacki.com/    Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU   Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -  https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738   Jamie’s Patreon Page:  https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?    How To Measure Whether Your Child’s Tantrums Are Normal

Patreon Unlock: All Things Tantrums

Welcome to July’s Q&A episode! Today I dive right in with some excellent questions about whether to allow “sexy” dolls like L.O.L Surprise Dolls in imaginary play, being aware of which franchises and marketing campaigns your children are exposed to, and how to encourage your child to play independently. I break down the relatively recent phenomenon of children expecting their parents to play with them and keep them entertained all day, and what you can do about it, even if you have an only child. Boredom is the basis for creativity, and it’s okay to establish boundaries for time together versus adult time for you. I share the two simple, but powerful words you can use to stop a rude or sassy attitude in its tracks, and what to do if your child is “acting out” in physical ways but not necessarily melting down.    Finally, as we slowly return to our busy lives after the pandemic, remember that work, relationships, and parenting demands can drain our energy resources quickly. I offer my perspective on why it’s so important to rest, slow down, and pay attention to what activities feel restorative to you and your soul (reading, limiting social media, going for a walk in the woods) in this sometimes draining season of life.   Thank you for your listening, and I appreciate your patronage more than I can say. For more information on my potty training and parenting resources, please visit the links below.   The Finer Details of This Episode: Reminder to do strength training as it helps your body to heal itself Question about L.O.L Dolls, and whether to allow “sexy dolls” in imaginary play Make a conscious choice about which franchises and marketing campaigns your children are exposed to Watch your child’s play for any signs of inappropriate behavior, and keep in mind that most of the time, these types of toys or images are not sexualized for the child When you absolutely do not allow a certain toy or word, it may just make it all the more desirable  Monitor shows and movies that your kids are watching as well to be sure content and attitudes are in line with your values Sitcom zingers and one-liner jokes may seem innocuous, but they can be hurtful or create huge attitudes in real life What to do when it seems like your child can never get enough attention or one-on-one connection Don’t let yourself drown or become resentful You need to hold a strong boundary because if you keep moving it, your kid will push even harder for that payoff in the end Kids are normally meant to play with other kids, and it isn’t our job to make sure they are entertained and occupied all day It’s okay to let you child be bored Make it very clear that there will be time when you play together, and time when they can do things by themselves Having “Reading Time” together is also a great way to not only encourage reading, but also for them to learn how to be with you without expecting to be entertained the entire time Boredom is the basis for creativity When your child is being rude or sassy, you do not need to point it out - simply ask them to try again When they are acting out, you don’t want to give in or engage in negotiation - instead, acknowledge how they’re feeling, give them the emotional vocabulary to explain why they’re upset, but maintain that they still do the thing you asked them to do and thank them for it This helps teach emotional wisdom They may be acting out because they don’t have the language to express how they feel, or they are afraid you may get mad at them if they do voice their feelings Work, relationships, and parenting can drain your energy resources quickly It’s very important to rest, slow down, and pay attention to what activities feel restorative to you and your soul in this sometimes draining season of life   Quotes “We have to all be really cautious about what we let into our house, knowing that there's marketing attached and franchising attached.”   “I would watch the play… Is the play going into this weird sexy zone?”   “If your child's in their room playing with their stuff, and it's cool, I wouldn't worry about it.”   “It's really worth investigating what your kid is watching and making sure that the attitudes in the show are really great.”   “If you think about a typical sitcom, they do a zinger. They do a one-liner, and then it cuts to a commercial or it cuts to the next scene. And you hear the canned laughter or maybe even a live studio audience. But you don't get to see how the zingers land.”   “It's definitely worth watching stuff with your kids. Because what can seem really innocuous can create huge attitudes.”   “It takes almost as much mental energy for me to coerce him to go play. So what that tells me is, if it takes you a lot of energy to get him to scram, it means you keep moving the boundary.”   “If you move the boundary, then the kid’s going to push even harder.”   “This is the first time in history that adults have ever played with their kids or entertained their kids.”   “What I would do, especially for the summer, I would definitely set a time and say, It's noon. This is the time that you spend by yourself. And I spend by myself,. You can go do anything you'd like in your room or outside. And I will set the timer and at one o'clock we can meet up again. And we can play a game together.”   “Simply say, [Try] again. Generally speaking, when your kid is being rude or sassy, they are well aware that they are being rude and sassy. So you do not need to tell them they're being rude and sassy.”   “You don't need to bring home like, You're being rude. They know they're being rude! They're trying to be rude. In fact, they're doing it to see if they can get away with it. So when you say, Try again, they know exactly what you mean.”   “You can totally say, I see you stomping. I know you're upset with me. It's okay to be upset with me. And I'm really happy that you're doing the thing anyway.”   “One of the things you really want to do is recognize when your child is acting out their emotions, because they may not have the words or they may not have the capability to tell you the words, or they are afraid you might get mad.”   “We don't want them to be scared of us, we want them to use their words at all times.”   “Start paying attention to where you feel fulfilled, where you feel rested. Even though you might be full of action, it still might be restorative to your nervous system, to your soul.”   “It's not even about rest like that - you have to slow down everything - even though I highly recommend that. It's about figuring out your energy sources and where to put your best work.”   “It's not just rest in the typical, Stop moving your body. But think of what's restorative to you.”   “If we are constantly going, going, going, and if we are constantly providing stimulation for our kids and activities for our kids, they'll never know how to be bored.”   Links:   Jamie’s Homepage -  http://www.jamieglowacki.com/    Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU   Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -  https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738   Jamie’s Patreon Page:  https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki? 

Patreon Unlock: July Q&A

This month’s Q&A episode begins with a question about Redshirting (postponing entrance into kindergarten to allow extra time for social, emotional, intellectual, and physical growth). This is a controversial topic because parents can be accused of using it to give their kids an advantage, but I explain why it might actually be best to hold a child back, particularly if their birthday is close to the cutoff date. Sending kids too early can set them on a path of feeling like they’re always behind throughout their school career, not only academically, but emotionally and physically as well. I also tackle a question about healthy eating habits and the murky waters of using food as a reward. I break down why I am 100% against this practice as it creates unhealthy relationships with food, and I discuss why food should not be tied to emotions or power struggles with your kid. Finally, I look at using distractions during a tantrum - when it’s good, when it’s bad. There’s a window of opportunity when you can successfully distract your child with a change in scenery or deep breathing exercises, but if they’re past that point and you find yourself in “Juggling Fire and Spinning Plates” territory, it’s actually healthy to let kids experience their full range of emotions so that they can learn the boundaries of what’s acceptable. After all, kids need to be an asshole before they can learn how to not be an asshole.   As always, I love hearing your questions and truly appreciate your patronage. Thank you for listening and keep your questions coming!   The Finer Details of This Episode: Redshirting is the practice of postponing entrance into Kindergarten of age-eligible children, to allow extra time for social, emotional, intellectual or physical growth Redshirting is a controversial practice because some parents are accused of using it to give their kids an advantage Kindergarten has a much more challenging curriculum today, and is much more competitive Sending your child to Kindergarten early could set them up to always feel behind the other children as time goes on, not only academically, but physically and emotionally as well 100% against using food as a reward or punishment, as this will create a very unhealthy relationship with food moving forward Do not use dessert as currency to get your child to do expected behavior (eat a healthy dinner, use the potty) If you use food as a reward, it will often escalate to the child asking for more before they comply Try to view your child’s eating habits through a daily lens, not a meal lens - did they get a fair amount of protein, carbohydrates, and nutrients throughout the day versus in that one sitting? Make sure you’re providing age appropriate food and serving sizes so your child is not overwhelmed Create a family meal culture of not having seconds until your plate is clear, knowing you’ve given them an appropriate amount of protein and vegetables Treats should not be associated with any rewards - it’s okay to just have a treat Food should not be tied to emotions or power struggles as this can lead to picky eating or even body image issues later in life “Go To Your Room” strategy helps children learn what self-regulates them The arc of a typical toddler tantrum includes a window of opportunity where you can distract them by going outside, watching a movie, doing deep breathing Kids need to have tantrums and experience the full range of their emotions to learn boundaries of what’s acceptable and what’s not Trying to fix the feeling versus being the calm, centered parent to guide them back into their body Quotes: “In most instances I think we are infantilizing our kids to the point of crippling them.”   “In this case, I think it’s best to hold the child back… Kindergarten school has gotten jacked up. Kindergarten is more like what you probably experienced in first or second grade.”   “Ten months at that age can make such a huge difference academically.”   “If your kid is on the cusp, I say just keep them in pre-K another year or keep them home for another year. The markers may be okay for kindergarten, but you’ve got to think ahead.”   “I think it’s better to give your kid the advantage. I think it's better for them to be a little bit older than a little bit younger, because the younger it's like - I just played catch up my whole life, my whole school career I just felt like I was playing catch up.”   “It's so funny how we all knew everything before we actually had kids, but once you're in the trenches it's a totally different story.”   “I am one hundred percent in the camp of food should not be a reward or a punishment. I think that's a quick way to set up a very unhealthy relationship with our kids and food.”   “I think of food in these instances, like dessert in particular, like allowances… I think you should get an allowance to learn money management. I don't think it should be tied to chores. I don't think it should be a bribery system. I think kids need to learn money management, and need to learn how to save and how to accumulate and what to do with the money. And I think it needs to be not tied to chores, because chores are not - I don't pay for chores, just like I don't pay you to eat a good dinner.”   “If you're going to have dessert, I don't think it should be tied to the amount they eat at dinner.”   “That's one of my issues again with rewards across the board is for rewards to be effective, they sort of have to escalate.”   “If your child's eating pretty well, why do they have to have that last bite of meat? Why is it, Two more bites of meat? Why is that a line in the sand?”   “When we get down to, One more bite, that's where power struggles start.”   “The other thing, if you recall from the sugar episode, is that carbs are fast acting energy, so the glucose hits the bloodstream and you're more likely to get behavioral or mood stuff going on when your child has super rich carbohydrates without the protein or the fat.”   “When it comes to treats, I think it's really good - treats should not be associated with any rewards, not like, Oh my god, you had such a great day at school! Let's go get an ice cream.” “I always think it's best to take food out of emotions. I always think dinnertime shouldn’t be struggling.”   “One of my big things is to Go To Your Room strategy as opposed to a time out.”   “One of our misconceptions as parents is that we can help another human self-regulate, and we really can't. We can hold space for them while they are self-regulating, but we can't help somebody self-regulate.”   “You're not shutting down the emotion. It allows your child to run the track of whatever they’re on. And so one of the things I'm finding in current parenting is an eagerness to fix any high emotion and distract the child away from it, which is okay sometimes, but we're not allowing the child their full experience of the emotions.”   “As the typical tantrum is starting to arc up, there's a window of opportunity where you can distract.”   “You have to take shit to the outer boundaries to know where the inner boundary is… Remember that all these meltdowns - I know they suck, I know they're inconvenient, but they're also important to your child’s development and they have to stretch their emotions.” Links:   Jamie’s Homepage -  http://www.jamieglowacki.com/    Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU   Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -  https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738   Jamie’s Patreon Page:  https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki? 

Patreon Unlock: May Q&A

Today’s Q&A begins with a topic so many of you have asked about - positive reinforcement. Somehow along the way, parents confused positive reinforcement with offering bribes and rewards for everyday behaviors. But before you find yourself promising a trip to Disneyland for a single poop in the potty, I break down how you can recognize good behaviour without setting your kids up to feel entitled. In response to your questions about connection before correction, I’ll clarify how you can connect with your kid using short spurts of one-on-one time, and I’ll share some ideas on how to help a child who throws tantrums when they lose a game. Today’s episode also looks at screentime, and how to ease your child back to reality when it’s time to turn off Peppa Pig. Finally, I’ll discuss consequences versus punishment, the role of shame and guilt in shifting behavior, and how Gentle Parenting can actually lead to more aggression in some cases.    As always, thank you for your patronage and your participation in this platform. I love your questions and getting to hear about all of your experiences on this parenting journey. I can’t wait to hear what questions you have for me next month!   The Finer Details of This Episode:   Effective methods to reinforce positive behaviour, like using a low pitch with your voice and offering a solid fist bump The importance of praising the effort, not the outcome Like adults, children want to be seen and validated for their effort and the work they put into something Connection before correction, and having a “bouillon cube” of one-on-one time with your child Coping with kids who throw tantrums when they lose a game - every kid goes through this phase Finding a balance with screentime boundaries, and using a bridge of attention to ease them back to reality without tantrums It is okay to sometimes allow your child to experience bad consequences or bad feelings when they do something wrong as this is how they know not to repeat the behavior   Quotes:   “If we don’t have boundaries, I see this sort of free fall in kids.” “They have nothing to hold them in, nothing to kick against, and therefore know that they’re safe.” “We do want to reinforce the positive, otherwise the child has no idea.” “And that leads us to positive reinforcement. Somehow along the way, I think parents got confused and this became bribery and/or rewards.” “Positive reinforcement is really just noticing the good.” “We don’t praise the outcome, we praise the effort.” “I hope you’re not stringing yourself out trying to be super connected all day long.” “Before every game, it’s wise to say, ‘Listen, people win and people lose, and that’s okay.’” “I definitely think it’s better to start making them lose early on so they get acclimated.” “Do not get trapped just because your kid throws a tantrum.” “Remember, when your kid is little, they are in the screen, so it’s really hard to just pull them away.” “It is okay for your child to feel bad about the bad thing they did.” “If they’re not responding and it’s not effective, change it.”   Links:   Jamie’s homepage -  http://www.jamieglowacki.com/    Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU   Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -  https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738   Jamie’s Patreon Page:  https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?    

Patreon Unlock: Q&A: April 2021 Edition

  It’s that time again to open up the digital mailbag, and respond to some of your questions, which I absolutely love, love, love. While some of today’s questions offer new twists on previous topics, all of them are, of course, excellent ones which I know so many are wondering about as well, so let’s dig in, shall we?   Today, we’ll look at ways to handle the constant ‘I want’ requests from your kid, revisit the concept of changing the family dinner if it’s not working well currently, look at sleep and dealing with early risers, and handling the stage of combining ‘No’ with emotions. We’ll also delve into the dynamics of having an older and younger child, as well as the world of playdates especially at a friend’s house, and the importance of being an asker as opposed to a guesser. Again, I love receiving these questions so much because they reflect real life, and give me the opportunity to share real, practical advice rather than theoretical. Please keep them coming – I can’t wait for our next Q & A session!   The Finer Details of This Episode:     There’s no cure for sibling fighting; it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other   Kids are going to be relentless in their asking   Create a culture of answering your child’s requests with ‘Yes’, ‘No’, or ‘Maybe’ where ‘Maybe’ means “Probably, but it will turn to a ‘No’ if you keep asking”   If you can get children talking about their ‘favorite’, you can derail just about any behavior that you’re not wanting; they’re often looking for engagement with you   If your dinner time is miserable, it’s okay to fix it; you don’t need to have it the way others might   Giving up a nap can help with children who wake up too early   Don’t be tricked into thinking there are ‘kid night owls’   Circadian rhythms are often backwards in children with ADHD   We don’t want to be ‘sportscasting’ with our kids   Statements such as ‘No angry’, ‘No happy’, ‘No sad’ could actually be expressing ‘Don’t look at me/Don’t see me’ so don’t look at them in that moment; it’s a phase   When you have an older and younger child, you need to cater to the older child’s needs; give them a safe space to play and create   Leaving your child with another parent is based on your answer to ‘Do I feel comfortable with how the other parent disciplines and/or handles it when the shit hits the fan?’   Playdates are just a reality today; choose the people that you like and respect; clarify with the other parent about ‘trading time’ – be an asker, not a guesser; paying for child interactions happens all the time so it might be something worth considering   Quotes:   “What it is, is engagement.”   “I’m a fan of, like, reverse engineering.”   “Sleep gets conditioned by us and by the things we need to do, but toddlers don’t have that.”   “Be very careful that you’re not limiting your older child because of the younger child.”   “As your child gets older, you don’t have to be friends with your child’s friends’ parents, so that’s kind of a real relief.”   “It’s so rare for somebody to come and grab your kid out of their yard.”   “We do feel like we have to hover.”   “We need parental time.”   “It’s far better to be an asker, because there’s no ambiguity and there’s no mistakes.”   “You need to fucking ask if there’s guns in the house. Like, that’s…a non-negotiable.”   Links:   Jamie’s homepage -  http://www.jamieglowacki.com/    Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU   Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -  https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738   Jamie’s Patreon Page:  https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?  

Patreon Unlock: Q & A: March 2021 Edition

This week, we’re going to move on from our trauma series, but before we do, I want to thank you all for your fantastic feedback during it. I always love our dialogue, and especially during such an important topic, so once again, thank you. As we move on today, it’s time for another Q & A to look at all the questions that have been piling up over the past month, so let’s get started.   The questions this time around range from children displaying shyness, to bringing co-sleeping with your child to an end, to sibling play, and then to driving children around to help them get to sleep. We’ll also look at the age-old concern about getting children to give up their pacifier, as well as what to do when your child is in that “refusing to take ‘no’ for an answer” stage. Once more, we have a full slate of excellent questions that I know so many are wondering about, and I want to encourage you to keep them coming so that, as always, we can work together to address them.   The Finer Details of This Episode:     There are many different preferences regarding children who appear shy in public   I have very little patience for anyone ignoring someone who is greeting them   I don’t care where you sleep as long as everybody sleeps and it works for everybody   The minute you cave on something, you reinforce the behavior   To break co-sleeping silently return your child to their bed, prepare for a few sleepless nights, and have someone to help you with backup   The pandemic seems to have fostered an attitude with some parents to allow undesirable behaviors to continue   Don’t allow your child to do something that makes you dislike or resent them   Many times, children need to experience the consequences of their actions before they will change their behavior   Sleep is everything – the best gift you can give your kids is good sleep habits   I do not like the idea of driving kids around for sleep – find out why sleep is not happening   Read the chapter about dinner times in Oh Crap! I Have a Toddler, if you haven’t already, about when to have dinner in relation to bed time   Under the age of 5, everyone sitting down for family dinner at the same time is not nearly as important as getting nutrition and proper sleep   If you have to make exceptions to sleep routines for some reason, set a date to attend to its end   Slowly giving up a transitional object (pacifier, blanky, etc.) to which your child has become attached is incredibly stressful for them – doing it quickly is much better   Cutting a hole in a pacifier so it loses its ‘suck’ appeal can help in giving it up   There are phases that kids go through (won’t take no for an answer, asking why, etc.) and they usually don’t last too long   Establishing a response tier such as “’No’ means ‘no’, ‘yes’ means ‘yes’, and ‘maybe’ means ‘probably’ but if you keep being up my ass, it’s going to turn into a ‘no’” can prove beneficial   If you’re going to cave, cave early   What you continue to do, fosters the habit – if it’s not working for you, change it   Quotes:   “You can be shy, but you have to say ‘Hello’.”   “With kids…once you start something, it’s really hard to break it…it’s a slippery slope.”   “At what point do you keep thinking it’s going to turn around after two years?”   “If something’s not working, change it.”   “She’s got to learn that the hard way.”   “If your child is not in the right circadian rhythm, they will have a hard time falling asleep.”   “Your dinnertime ends up being this clusterfuck.”   “They get this, like, well connected, juicy time with their kid after work instead of fighting over one more fuckin’ bite.”   “If you know that you have it in you to not cave, then ‘no’ means ‘no’.”   Links:   Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/    Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU   Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -  https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738   Jamie’s Patreon Page:  https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?  

Patreon Unlock: The Return of the Q & A – February 2021 Edition

I’m very excited to bring this episode to you today since it’s about one of my favorite topics – Seasonal Affective Disorder, the winter blues, and how to beat them. Winter was not always my favorite season, and if that’s true for you as well, today I’m going to share with you how I flipped it so it is now number one on my list. With everything that is still going on these days, this winter is bound to be a really hard one for many people, so let’s look at some of the strategies I employ that can help turn that around.   We’ll begin by reviewing the fact that your attitude toward the season will show up in your kids, and then I offer some of my food and sleep suggestions that have really helped me in the past and continue to do so. Keeping expectations low or level for the holidays, and using lighting to help generate a positive mood are a couple other suggestions that we’ll explore, as well as the greatest strategy of all which is to embrace the outdoors and stay out with your kids as much as humanly possible. I have some tried and true clothing and activity recommendations that will help you achieve this, and I truly hope that you will be able to find the good things that winter has to offer and celebrate them with your kids. Naturally, if you are experiencing a massive depression due to the season, be sure to speak with your doctor, but if you are simply looking for a ‘mood boost’, today’s episode has a lot of great ideas for you. Don’t suffer – experience all the joy that this winter can bring!    The Finer Details of This Episode:     If you don’t like winter, you will see the same in your kids   Going into the winter, I’m careful about food and sleep   If you live in a place that experiences pretty harsh winters, you are going to be low in Vitamin D   I keep up on Vitamin C, D and Zinc, bone broth, root vegetables   Lowering the expectations around holidays can help   I use a lot of twinkle lighting around the house   Stay outside as much as possible   Buy the right outdoor gear for you so you can stay outside with your kids   Outlets are amazing for outdoor gear   Smartwool is the best but it is expensive   For kids: buy overalls for snow pants, Hannah Anderson stuff is great, mittens are warmer than gloves – buy lots in the same color, don’t buy cotton clothes, buy waterproof items, have extras if you can, OAKI rain gear is fabulous   When the weather switches over to cold, change over your kid’s closet to winter clothes   Get involved in winter sports like snowboarding, ice skating, snowshoeing, cross country skiing   Try to look forward to all the things that are good about winter   Full spectrum light bulbs can help   Quotes:   “I do think kids are affected by their parents’ mood and their parents’ winter blues.”   “I don’t want that massive sugar crash after the holidays.”   “I can feel, like, my body go into storage-mode.”   “Us moms are the fuckin’ worst about winter self-care and clothing.”   “If you are happy in the cold, your kid will be happy in the cold.”   “I have fat ski pants and I have skinny ski pants.”   “Eliminate all your kid’s bitching.”   “Snowboarding changed my life…it’s like dancing on a surfboard.”   “If I break my leg ice skating, I’d be so pissed.”   “Try to like winter.”   Links:   Jamie’s homepage -   http://www.jamieglowacki.com/    Oh Crap! Potty Training –   https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU   Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -  https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738   Jamie’s Patreon Page:   https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?  

Patreon Unlock: Seasonal Affective Disorder and Beating Those Winter Blues

It’s that time of year again when we start thinking about gifts for the upcoming holiday season (if you haven’t already), so welcome to this year’s Gift Guide as curated by Jenn and myself. You know that I’m all about gifts that inspire learning and using the whole brain and the whole body, and that’s precisely the type of gifts you’ll find on our list here today. In addition to the list, I’ll also share some information about the perennial issue about gifts from relatives who want the credit that comes from your kid’s big reactions on the day, as well as some ideas about how to bring the intensity of the holiday down while increasing its overall enjoyment. Naturally, we’ll go through the Gift Guide, which you can find in the links section below, and I’ll offer my own commentary on the selections as we go along. Most important of all, I need you to remember that, particularly in this unprecedented year, you need to do ‘whatever the fuck you want to do this Christmas’, and to please never forget to reach out if you find you need help given the potential overwhelm of the season. With the pandemic continuing, this is going to be a long winter, so be sure to keep your mental and physical health a top priority throughout. I sincerely hope that today’s episode marks one step toward helping to achieve that. The Finer Details of This Episode: ·  Grandparents want the credit for gifts that their grandkids will absolutely love ·  Create ‘hygge’ ·  Our $5 Christmas was one of our best ever ·  You have permission to jack the holidays way up or bring them way down ·  Check out the Gift Guide in the links section below ·  You can make marble runs out of many things (ex. pool noodles, molding, etc) ·  Don’t overstretch yourself this year financially ·  Make sure you and your kids are geared up for playing outside no matter what the weather – Hanna Andersson snowsuits are phenomenal ·  Subscription gifts can be problematic when it comes to renewal issues ·  Check for scams or complaints about companies before ordering any of their products ·  Make mental and physical health a priority Quotes: “If you have too much stuff, you’re going to get butterfly play…you want less stuff because it opens up deeper play.” “If my house and my space are too cluttered, I get too cluttered.” “Ninja classes are huge…love the Ninja supplies.” “Don’t be afraid of classic blocks.” “You guys are going to want to be outside as much as humanly possible.” “I’m really into functional fitness.” “You should be able to, like, lick your skincare.” “Take care of yourself, take care of your kids, take care of your mental health as well as your physical health.” Links: Jamie’s homepage -   http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Jamie’s Patreon Page:   https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki? No Crap Gift Guide Gifts for Kids 1.      Ninja Supplies to Spark Big Play: Ninja slack line supplies 2.  Classic Toys for Endless Fun: Marble run: (wood Hape brand, looks like they’re labeled for kids 4+) (this is the one that was given to us, it’s plastic but really awesome for open-ended play). Other ideas: A Slingshot for Kids or a Bow and Arrow 3.  Games for Building Connection: Some of ours include Sleeping Queens, Outfoxed(shown in picture, we love this game and you’re all working as a team to outfox the fox!) and Go Fish. Most used gift ever: a set ofrainbow wood blocks. Memory match games are another favorite. 4.  Gear for Kids Playing Outside No Matter the Weather: Hanna Anderrson snowsuits: the European sizing is magic in Hanna clothes. Pascal’s toddler snowsuit lasted 3 season. You can always resell in consignment stores (or find them there as well) and it never shows wear and tear...it’s crazy. And I still buy their pjs. Again...they last 2 or 3 seasons and can’t be beat for cuteness. Other finds: Cool kids flashlight (shown in guide). Freazy Freakies (for kids age 6 and up). Emoji Kickball (shown in guide).Rainbow Umbrella for walks in the rain. 5.  Sensory Fun for Potty Training Kiddos: Super fancy cool playdough 6.  Because Cursive Writing is a Skill You Want Your Kids to Have: Chalkboard for cursive writing 7.  Send an ongoing gift that shows up in the mail (the best surprise for kids). Magazine Subscriptions: Here are a couple of cool magazines we love. Bravery Magazine, National Geo for Kids. Every time the magazine shows up in our mailbox it’s like getting a surprise gift, so fun and the kids love reading through them. 8.  Experience gifts: skiing lessons if you live close to a mountain.  Ice skating lessons (not sure if this will work with covid but we did this last winter and it was the BEST money spent, the kids loved it!), give a gift through your local rec center for a program (for example, we did paddleboarding through our rec center, or I’m not sure what would be the equivalent in other states but LL Bean does amazing day activities for learning how to do a sport and all the equipment is included so you just show up). Other ideas: museum memberships (which may not be as helpful during covid winter, I know our Children’s Museum has been closed...but generally speaking I’ve loved when family gifts us memberships or tickets to go explore a museum nearby). One thing you could look into is an art studio or whatever activity your child likes, seeing if they’re offering something special even if they’re not doing in-person classes. Would be great to support a local biz you’d like to be around after this and give your child something they could use. For example, when things first shut down and our art summer camp didn’t happen, the studio made up art kits of some of the coolest art supplies (glittery watercolors, amazing pastels, homemade playdough) and we got an infusion of cool new art supplies while supporting a business we love. Gifts for Grownups 1.  Wool for Warm Feet and Outdoor Adventures: Smart wool socks. Smart wool base layer..as much as you can afford. I just said, “If I win the lottery, I’m dressing only in smart wool.” LOL. It’s an awesome base layer. Smart wool base layer. It’s pricey but incredible and totally worth the investment. Especially with everything starting to shut down again. Our winter fitness will all be outside. 2.  Something for fitness you love: A brute force wreck bag. Unstable weight loads are the key to building strength.These have fill bags for sand and can be 25-75lbs I hesitated because of the price (it’s a bag for gawdsake)  but it’s by far the best purchase I made this year. It’s made in the US and is sturdy AF. Tossing it over your shoulder is an immensely satisfying stress reliever. 3.   Ways to Sooth Winter Skin:  Sore Muscles salve (or really anything by Fat and the Moon, Jen’s favorite brand). Skin Food by Nose to Tail is super luxurious skin care made from tallow. I’m a sucker for the bergamot. 4.  Jamie's favorite book right now: Digital Minimalism: I read constantly but this has been the most life changing. I have a podcast coming out in December about this book, my giving up Facebook, and how mindblowing the change has been for me. 5.  The Pantry Item That You Can Gift Anyone - And Helps Everyone Poop!:  Olive oilthat’s special heirloom in quality and super cool packaging 6.  For bringing the outdoors in: Pine Scented candle (thinking trees inspired by your cottage and candlelight for that hygge candlelit cozy warmth) 7.  A hobby that makes you happy: personalized ukulele for making your own tunes. 8.  Our shared obsession for the home: Marleys Monsters unpaper towels: practical wins in 2020. Less trips to the store for papertowels and they FEEL and LOOK so good. Literally told my family I want more! Books for Kids Favorite kids books: some toddler books on up to kid and all ages Favorite Children’s Books for Read-Alouds You Matter (by one of our favorite author/illustrators Christian Robinson) Are You Ready to Play Outside? (Mo has Elephant and Piggie playing in the rain) What a Wonderful Word (this is an Usborne book that Jen sells. Lest that sound like a conflict of interest, rest assured that we think there’s no other book we've seen like this. It’s a collection of untranslatable words from around the world. I’ve given it as a gift. It’s so cool to read.) Dragon Post (the kids put this in my pile when they heard that I was creating a gift guide.  It’s got letters about the dragon you open to read. It’s one of our most read books and the illustrations are so fun, a neon dragon!) Nature Anatomy for schooling at home, for all ages, this is one of our most referenced guides ever. Ours is so worn and used, the kids know to look up stuff in it when they find something outside that they want to identify or learn more about. A Light in the Attic collection of poems: start poetry young. A classic Shell Silverstein. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Mad Libs (we recently started getting into Mad Libs and they’re so fun. This one is themed for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory so it connects back to the chapter books podcast) Ada Twist Scientist: this whole series is awesome. Championing girls in science, curiosity and asking why The Snowy Day: Classic board board on the magic of a snowy day through the eyes of a child Not pictures: Today (visual choose your adventure from getting dressed to what you want to do) Tony T-Rex’s Family Album we have all the dinosaur books because L has been super into them for years and is still a big fan. This book is very gift-y...beautiful hardcover with awesome illustrations. A mix of fact and fun (comes up with funny names for the dinosaurs)...there’s quite a bit of text so it’s not for a 2 year old. 

Patreon Unlock: The No Crap! 2020 Gift Guide

Today, I am so excited to have Quiara Smith, MOT OTR/L, join me on the podcast . As a pediatric pelvic health occupational therapist, Quiara specializes in treating pelvic floor dysfunction, toileting/elimination disorders, and bowel and bladder dysfunction in children between the ages of 4-18 years old both through her Aloha Integrative Therapy Clinic and telehealth services. I met Quiara on Instagram when she chimed in on a few posts referring to gross and fine motor skills and their relation to potty training, and the more contact we had, the more I realized that I needed her to be on this podcast, and so here we are. She has a lot to share and clears up a few mysteries along the way, so prepare to have your mind blown!   Quiara begins by sharing just what exactly the pelvic floor is, the many potential causes for dysfunction in this area, and what the symptoms of these dysfunctions show up as. She also describes the reasons why she would become involved in working with a child, the impact of the sensory system in children, and the holistic and non-invasive approach she employs in her work. We then discuss the role that core muscles, and the need to develop them in children, play in potty training, and explore some recommendations for building these muscles, some strategies for parents to implement, and the ways in which Quiara helps children and parents through her telehealth services. As you’ll discover, we could have talked on and on about these important topics which make such a huge difference in the life of the child and the parent, and you’ll certainly see why I want to have Quiara join us again to share even more wisdom and solve even more mysteries to help our kids.   The Finer Details of This Episode:     The pelvic floor is basically the muscles that span the bottom of the pelvis and provides support for our internal organs and assists in urinary and fecal continence (helps us pee and poop)   There are many potential causes for pelvic floor dysfunction and they should be addressed as early as possible   Symptoms can present in a number of ways including, abdominal pain, picky eating, reflux, wetting the bed, fecal leaking, but mainly in toileting troubles   If the child is 4 years old and has been successful with potty training to a typical extent for a year, and if they are dribbling or having issues past a year that would be a red flag   Issues can arise if a child is under-responsive or over-responsive to their sensory system   You have to take a holistic approach to dealing with these issues   Pediatric pelvic floor therapists use non-invasive evidence-based approaches to helping children   Core muscle challenges will affect a child’s ability to coordinate their pelvic floor to void pee or poo   A lack of variety in movement, especially in play, is impacting children’s development of gross motor skills and strength   As a pediatric pelvic health therapist, Quiara typically sees kids to identify a pelvic floor dysfunction, or a sensory component, or to provide proactive sensory consultation   Some recommendations for building gross motor skills are wheelbarrow, crabwalk, big body play, and yoga   Some strategies that parents can implement immediately to help support pelvic health are having the child sit properly on the toilet, sit after a meal (for those who’ve had trouble for years), push to begin and then relax by breathing in   Quiara can help children and parents across the country through ‘telehealth’   Quotes:   “Releasing poop is a really huge deal.”   “When I am at a loss, I can say ‘Hey, go see Quiara’.”   “It’s almost like the child is fighting their own urge.”   “If you can’t get, like, enough water or enough, like, fibrous foods because you’re a picky eater, you’re going to be more prone to constipation.”   “Oh my God, this is mind blowing!”   “There’s a rich dialogue happening in your kid’s body.”   “Your kid holds their tension in their butt.”   “I’m seeing withholding getting worse and worse and worse.”   “I’ve been doing this wrong my whole life!”   “You can see the anus isn’t opening because your child’s producing, like, ribbon-shaped poop.”   “I kind of want you to live with me.”   “I found that this has strengthened the bond between the child and the caregiver because you’re doing therapeutic touch – that’s what I like to call it.”   “I’m an idiot savant with a bag of tricks, don’t give me too much power over here.”   “I’m here to help you through this challenging moment, but it also could be very beautiful and very kind of sacred in a way.”   “Continence is a huge thing that they have to deal with, and once that starts resolving, you see this transformation of not only the child but the parents and the caregivers. It’s phenomenal and that’s why I do what I do.”   Links:   Jamie’s homepage -   http://www.jamieglowacki.com/     Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU   Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -  https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738   Jamie’s Patreon Page:   https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?     Aloha Integrative Therapy:   Homepage:   https://alohaintegrativetherapy.com/   Facebook:   https://www.facebook.com/alohaintegrativetherapy/   Instagram:   https://www.instagram.com/alohaintegrativetherapy/      

Patreon Unlock: Pediatric Pelvic Floor Therapy and Potty Training with Quiara Smith, MOT OTR/L  

Jamie discusses options available to parents who are gearing up to send their children back to school

Emergency Episode: Back to School Choices

The prospect of schools reopening is gradually dawning on us all, and with it comes the news of the potential restrictions which will be in place. As so many of the restrictions seem to greatly impact the level of socializing that children will be able to enjoy upon their return, I am currently fielding a large number of questions regarding homeschooling. In today’s episode, my aim is to address the questions that seem to be the most frequently asked.   It’s important to note that laws and rules regarding homeschooling will vary by, and in some cases within, states, so the information I offer here today is fairly general and you really need to check with a local homeschooler or homeschooling group to understand the specifics for your area. What I can share with you is the remarkable difference between the schooling we’ve all been doing for the last few months and actual homeschooling, some ideas regarding learning styles and curriculum, and some of the basic facts about homeschooling and unschooling. I can also tell you that you have the right and the ability to educate your child at home – you have done it from the moment they were born. Sending your child back to a school filled with social restrictions may rightfully seem daunting to you at the moment, and if you are considering homeschooling, this episode will provide you with information and advice based upon a vast amount of experience and research that can help you begin your decision making process.   The Finer Details of This Episode:     Nobody was actually homeschooling these past few months – we were ‘crisis schooling’   The actual academics don’t take as long as a school day   Every state has their own laws and rules about homeschooling, so go to a local homeschooler or group for advice   A lot of people opt in to homeschooling because they want to opt out of standardized testing and ‘teaching to the test’   Beware of the tendency for school districts to offer their opinion on homeschooling rather than the policy   The Homeschool Legal Defense Association (HLDA) is the only legal defense association in the country to help with homeschooling issues   Nobody should ever go into your home to ‘check out your homeschooling environment’   You do not to be certified to teach   If you are just trying homeschooling for a year, you’re tied to the school’s curriculum – that’s not my favorite way   There is a large choice of other curricula out there, so you need to determine your child’s learning style   You don’t need a curriculum for pre-school – read to them, love them, take them outside   When unschooling, follow the ‘rabbit holes’   Quotes:   “Homeschooling looks so much different than what we just did.”   “It’s your constitutional right to direct the education of your child.”   “I’m not anti-school, but I am anti-bad school.”   “I am more and more of a facilitator.”   “I would argue that we’re always all homeschooling.”   “When you’re working with something you’re passionate about, and you love, you’re going to hit these spots where you have to work through a yucky part of it.”   “I am unabashed in my love of homeschooling…it’s such a lifestyle choice.”   “You know your kid - you are 100% the expert on your child - so lead with that.”   Links:   Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/     Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU   Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -  https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738   Jamie’s Patreon Page:   https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?

Patreon Unlock: Returning to School or Homeschooling?

With all the talk these days of reopening society, I want to take this opportunity to speak with you about not only the anxiety which our children are experiencing during the ‘lockdown’ – and, believe me, they are feeling anxious – but also the anxiety that will be generated through the reopening process itself. Rhythm, routines, and rituals all have a part to play in this process, and I’m here to help support you and your children through it all.   In today’s episode we look at exactly what we mean by rhythm, routine, and rituals, and acknowledge that both during the pandemic and after, rhythms are going to change. We look at behaviors and how to evaluate and work with them, determine when anxiety becomes ‘not normal’, and face up to the reality of the generational trauma our children are experiencing these days. I will also offer you some suggestions for finding your new rhythms and helping ease your children through the transition of ‘reopening society’. While there is undoubtedly going to be a lot of ‘mental health cleanup’ in the wake of our current circumstances, today’s episode is all about what can be done now to help ensure our children know that they are safe and they are loved and that we are here to provide all the emotional and physical swaddling they need.   The Finer Details of This Episode:   We are all finding a new rhythm during this pandemic The change in rhythm is generating anxiety in our children You need to determine if a behavior is new or if it’s an ‘amped up’ version of an existing behavior Don’t be crushed by demonstrations of kids clinging to one parent and rejecting the other and don’t give in to it What’s good for our children is a firm, strong voice and actions that say, ‘You don’t have to worry about this’ Everything you choose now is going to be a habit When anxiety interrupts or affects your quality of life, it has slipped into ‘not normal’ and you should seek out help This pandemic is creating ‘generational trauma’ The first few outings during the ‘reopening of society’ transition is where you will want to note anxiety in your child, lean in, and help ease them through it The biggest thing will be finding a new rhythm once again Creating an emotional tether with your child will help during transitions   Quotes:   “Our little ones thrive on non-verbal communication…they 100% know that something’s going on…and so there’s anxiety.”   “Any shitty behavior your kid had is going to be amped up.”   “Huge right now is a ‘mommy clinginess’.”   “If they’re given control, they’re going to run with it in the wrong direction.”   “Your average 3-year-old is on par with your average dog brain-wise.”   “Hey, do you need some love right now? Because it’s looking like you need some love.”   “When anxiety hits, every kid just needs physical contact to know they are loved and safe. They need emotional swaddling, but they need physical swaddling too.”   Links:   Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/     Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU   Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -  https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738   Jamie’s Patreon Page:  https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?  

Rhythm, Routine, Rituals, and Anxiety

Jamie is back after a bit of a hiatus, and she hits the ground running by delving into the complexity of parenting during these uncertain times. There is so much going on out there these days, and Jamie is here to offer some strategies which can be implemented immediately to help parents and children alike, and to also remind everyone to be gentle with themselves.   Comparing the response to this pandemic to the stages of grief, Jamie recognizes that a lot of people are in that anger/bargaining stage, and are at risk of becoming overwhelmed by trying to justify things as educational while also learning how to be together in these unique circumstances. In addition, she highlights just how important it is to ensure that children know they are safe, to talk with them about what’s going on in terms they’ll understand, and above all, to make sure that all of you take the time you need to look after your own mental health.   The Finer Details of This Episode:   Justifying things as educational can lead to excessive anxiety Loosening up your usual screen time allowance is okay these days You are not in charge of your child’s education Learn how to be together during this pandemic Children need to know that they are safe, and emotional swaddling is necessary now more than ever Ensure that all family members get some alone time and ‘combination times’ Children need to feel touch and to engage in ‘big play’, especially these days Take some time for yourself to tend to your own mental health Talk about this pandemic with your kids in terms they can understand The story behind Jamie’s hiatus and her new Patreon account   Quotes:   “If you have to work, and you have a child under the age of 5, you have to give them some screen time. It’s a non-solvable problem.”   “You need to tell your child that they are safe, and they are loved, and you are taking care of them.”   “Our kids need us to be taking care of our mental health.”   “Please prioritize yourself.”   Links:   Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/     Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU   Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -  https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738   Manuela Molina’s COVIBOOK:   https://www.mindheart.co/descargables   Jamie’s Patreon Page:   https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?  

Parenting During the COVID-19 Pandemic

Jamie’s addressing one of the most frequently asked questions listeners and followers have for her: how does she balance everything and keep her life in order, especially as a single mom? Her answer is simple and two-fold: 1. it’s HARD, and 2. it’s a fool’s game to try to do everything at once. The parental balancing act is an art of setting a schedule and picking your battles.   In this episode, Jamie explains how our phones can dominate our already busy schedules if we’re not careful, debunks the myth of multitasking, and compares keeping our life in balance to, of all things, four pots on a stove. The Finer Details of This Episode:   What’s “uh-huh” parenting and why we absolutely need to avoid it. Establishing consistent phone time for yourself and being honest with your children about when you’ll need to do some scrolling. How airplane mode has become Jamie’s best friend. Why Jamie isn’t a fan of multitasking—and in fact has some pretty harsh things to say about it. What Jamie’s past experience as a circus performer—yes, you heard that right—taught her about maintaining balance. Jamie’s “four-burner stove” theory for keeping all of the major elements of your life in check. In the end, remember that even the people who look like they have all their shit together still struggle with balancing it all. Quotes:   “Stop with the half-assed parenting. It’s not fair to our kids!”   “You can’t do everything well if you’re trying to do it all together.”   “Balance is a verb. It is not a noun, it is not a destination.”   “You HAVE to show up as a whole person to be a good parent.” Links:   Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/     Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU   Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -  https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738

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A podcast for conscious parents who drop the f-bomb. A lot. We are the overthinkers, the dreamers, and the doers. We are parenting in a radically different way than those before us. But our divine vision gets blurry cause...OMG...kids can be such a pain in the ass. Let's work from the inside out, in a whole brain, whole body way to mitigate the crappy behavior. Not just with our kids but with ourselves. So you can be the parent you envision.

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