Music influences us in so many ways. Tim Ringgold uses music to help those struggling with addictions, pain, trauma, and stress to heal and recover. The beauty and power of music caresses our spirit in ways we can’t imagine! His story of how music touched his personal life is inspiring. The Healing Power of Music Tim Ringgold is Director of Sonic Divinity Music Therapy Services and is a board-certified music therapist. He is also certified as Remo HealthRHYTHMS facilitator. His treatment encompasses helping people of all ages to recover from addiction, physical, emotional and spiritual pain, and stress. He is the author of “Sonic Recovery,” and “Bella’s Blessings: A Humble Story of Providence.” In his books, he writes about how music affects and helps people. “Bella’s Blessing” is the personal story of the loss of his baby daughter and how he, his family, and Bella benefited through music therapy. Tim is also a public speaker who, on countless occasions, shares how music helps people to be mindful in the present.  Tim has experienced his own emotional trauma through addiction, having five friends murdered, and losing his 17-month old daughter to a horrific skin disease. He shares how he discovered resilience through his music. He lovingly pays homage to his baby daughter by wearing unique and crazy socks. During his stay in intensive care, the only things she was allowed to wear were diapers and colorful socks he and his wife put on Bella daily. It was the one thing that they could do to help brighten each day for her. Tim’s philosophy on how he wants to live life is magnetic! “I light up every room I walk into, touch every person I meet, and leave inspiration in my wake. This is who I am, this is what I do, and this is what you can count on.” Listen to the episode for the full story. Resources Mentioned in the Show: Website: (http://www.timringgold.com/about/) Facebook: (https://www.facebook.com/tim.ringgold) Instagram: (https://www.instagram.com/tim_ringgold/) Books: (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07SBYWNZL) YouTube: (https://www.youtube.com/user/tringgold/videos) Other: (http://www.sonicdivinity.com/about/) Stacy’s Journal Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource. I was so inspired about how Tim applies the healing power of music therapy not only in his professional life but personal as well. He is an excellent example of how one finds resilience from traumatic events and experiences. I can’t begin to imagine his pain of losing his daughter, friends, and suffering from addiction. Tim’s recovery and healing came from the beauty of using music to stay present in the here and now. His mindfulness in the present helped him to focus on moving forward rather than being stuck in the painful past. Music has such a profound influence on the very depths of our soul. The right music will keep you grounded in the present and keep you moving forward. How has music impacted you and any emotional, physical, or spiritual pain you have gone through? I’d love to hear about it! Share your comments on our Facebook page. That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Stephanie McPhail (https://www.stacybrookman.com/stephaniemcphail/)  shared her story about how she escaped a toxic and abusive first marriage – so if you are in a toxic relationship and don’t know where to turn, go back and have a listen. Next episode, we’ll interview Kristen Girard who talks about how growing up with an abusive father stole her self-worth. If you find it hard to love yourself and find value in who and what you are, stay tuned! I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsQYpXODmHfOyEfc4iATRvA/videos?disable_polymer=1) , and just about anywhere you can hold a great virtual conversation. Plus, I answer all my emails personally, so feel free to email me:...

Real Life Resilience

The Healing Power of Music

“You never knew what was going to come. I think that had become normal for me.” Women who find themselves codependent in a toxic relationship, soon discover that they care more for their partner than themselves. Stephanie McPhail started her own business, (http://www.mindandbodyawakenings.com/home) to educate and help facilitate recovery for women in toxic relationships. Exit Toxic Relationships: Let Your Voice Be a Lighthouse Highlights from the interview: Stephanie McPhail planned her wedding day to be a special day, but it turned into a nightmare. Her husband’s anger escalated to a point where she feared for her life. Throughout her marriage, Stephanie timidly walked on egg shells to avoid triggering her husband’s anger. Stephanie’s mother posed a thought-provoking question to her; “Would you want this to be your last day?”  A turning point for Stephanie was realizing one day that she had to make a change. She was at a point in her life where nothing was of any value, except her sanity. It was time for her to follow her heart and find a life that would make her happy. After pursuing a new life, Stephanie discovered that the stronghold of a toxic relationship is difficult to free yourself from. Although you are out of it, the aftermath had to be dealt with in intensive therapy. Following her heart, Stephanie founded Mind and Body Awakenings where she helps other abused women rediscover their worth. She helps them to find steady footing on the new path to recovery. Life is no longer monochromatically muted, but is beautifully painted with vibrant colors of every kind. Her soul is full of joy and full of sunshine which never dwindles. Listen to the episode for the full story. Resources Mentioned in the Show: Website: (http://www.mindandbodyawakenings.com/home) Additional link to website: (https://www.beinglovedshouldnthurt.com/meet-us) Facebook: (https://www.facebook.com/BeingLovedShouldntHurt/) Instagram: (https://www.instagram.com/beinglovedshouldnthurt/) Book: (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CQRZG2G/ref=rdr_kindle_ext_tmb)   (https://www.stacybrookman.com/webinar1)   Stacy’s Journal Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource. Stephanie’s story of how she struggled under the hand of an abusive man, in a toxic relationship, is something many of us can relate to. We can’t change a person who has abusive tendencies, nor can we walk on eggshells for the rest of our lives. She knew that the only way out was for her to be bold in making a tough decision to leave the toxic relationship she was in. Women, just like Stephanie, find that they lose almost everything they have when their spirit is broken down. Their sense of worth is depleted, causing them to remain in the relationship. Her redeeming grace was the last thing she held onto, and that was her sanity. She refused to let go of that.  Do Toxic Relationships Cause You to Lose Hope? Are you in a similar situation and feel there is no hope? There are so many of us out there that are in the same boat! We don’t share these things with others because we are embarrassed or afraid. One of the first steps to freedom and healing is to put your pain and past on paper! Many of us have shared our Life Stories so other women like you can read them and have hope. Give your suffering a voice,  then let it speak loudly with your own story. That voice will give you the confidence to take the next step dear friend. I know you can do it. That’s all we have for today. Last episode,  Anna Seewald (https://www.stacybrookman.com/podcast-2/) who experienced a catastrophic earthquake that changed her life forever. Next week, we’ll interview ME! I share how resilience can be learned, and that you can bounce back from life’s events quicker. I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on YouTube...

Let Your Voice Be a Lighthouse

In one day, your whole world could crumble and everything you treasure could be lost. That is exactly what happened to Anna Seewald in Armenia, where an earthquake resulted in overwhelming tragedy. Although she struggled through adversity, she found healing through community bonds. Her philosophy: together, we could overcome anything. The Other Side of Adversity Anna, growing up in Armenia, lived a peaceful and fulfilling childhood until her home town was hit with a catastrophic earthquake. The tragedy resulted in the loss of her mother, younger cousin, and many more friends and relatives.  Anna had to move with other relatives in a foreign country, however, the experience allowed her to grow more resilient and empowering as she lives her life now in America. Overcoming her struggles, Anna became a parent counselor where she guides parents who’ve also been through trauma and abuse. She sees herself in them as they are on the same side of adversity.  Anna did work with children at the beginning of her career. She believes that focusing on the parents and how they raise their children will result in a better home for both the parents and children.  Anna credits her strength and resilience to the community she was in, relationships she bonded through, and the love she received as well as gave. She believes she is where she is at because of the unspoken bond of empathy.  After the earthquake, and to this day, Anna processes her pain through the art of music, poetry, and writing. Listen to the episode for the full story. Resources Mentioned in the Show: Anna’s upcoming book still in the making, The Other Side of Adversity Stacy’s Journal Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource. Anna expressed just how valuable having her community with her through the hardship they were all experiencing. She credits her strength to the bonds and relationships she kept and created. That the emotional support and love that she gained was what enabled her to keep on pushing through. This insight really goes to show that if you are ever in a dark place, it is really helpful to put some effort in asking for help, reaching out to trust other people, and surrounding yourself with positivity. You are strong on your own, so imagine the strength you can muster with the support of more. There’s power in numbers. But it’s up to you to take rightful advantage of such opportunities. No matter what you’re going through, you’re never alone. Take a little bit of time in your day to reach out, you or that other person might really need it. That’s all we have for today. Last episode, (https://www.stacybrookman.com/podcast-2/) who believes that communication and recognition is the healthiest way to overcome trauma and to stop the trauma from creating any more damage to your life. I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsQYpXODmHfOyEfc4iATRvA/videos?disable_polymer=1) , and just about anywhere you can hold a great virtual conversation. Plus, I answer all my emails personally, so feel free to email me: stacy{at}stacybrookman{dot}com.   (https://www.stacybrookman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/100-mem-750x93.png) 100 Most Important Memoirs of the Past 200 Years Our memoir of the day is stacybrookman.com/100memoirs (http://www.stacybrookman.com/100memoirs/) .     About: Anna Seewald Anna Seewald is a wife, a mom, an author, a speaker, a photographer, a podcaster, an educator, a life long learner and the founder of Authentic Parenting. Anna’s true passion is to help children to thrive. She has seen a lot of child suffering and abuse. She has worked with orphans, street children, youth at risk, juvenile delinquents, gifted kids, and children with special needs. Children are our future and parents have such an important job.          

The Other Side of Adversity

“Now I am trusting myself. I trust my decisions. I stand by my decisions. I know what’s best now and I speak up now.” Melissa Pierce didn’t succumb when tragedy struck, she persevered through the pain and transformed into a stronger person because of it. She learned to accept herself as the person she had become. She moved on to write a book and share her experiences with others. A Widow’s Tough Story Filled With Gold Melissa’s story starts when Melisa and David were a couple struggling with fertility in 2005 and they decided they wanted to adopt two little boys. In 2011 Melissa woke up and David did not. She had become a widow overnight.  Melissa relayed her story of struggle, how she moved closer to her family and decided to get help. The first six months she felt like a zombie, but came to the conclusion that if she didn’t help herself she couldn’t help her kids, so she started her road to recovery. When a widow’s grief and stress showed up in her body, she took part in things that made her feel good: yoga, acupuncture, massage and exercise. Over a year later she found she was recovering but continues to have her moments to this day. Melissa learned to accept the person she has become after her husband’s death and has become stronger for it. Listen to the episode for the full story. Resources Mentioned in the Show: http://filledwithgold.org/ (http://filledwithgold.org/) Stacy’s Journal Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource. Grief is a tough thing. I would like to encourage everyone suffering through grief to seek professional help. Don’t attempt to go through grieving a loss on your own, even if you don’t feel like you need it. There is often a stigma surrounding counseling and therapy, letting a stranger in is a daunting task however bouncing your feelings off someone and talking about what you’re feeling can really help you heal. For those who are grieving, or even just those who are in turmoil, find something you truly enjoy. Keep exploring until you find it. Melissa found tap-dancing and found it to help her get out of her head and just have fun. It could be anything from Jiu-jitsu to coloring pictures just find something that you like doing. That’s all we have for today. Last episode, (https://www.stacybrookman.com/podcast-2/) who experienced a catastrophic earthquake that changed her life forever. I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsQYpXODmHfOyEfc4iATRvA/videos?disable_polymer=1) , and just about anywhere you can hold a great virtual conversation. Plus, I answer all my emails personally, so feel free to email me: stacy{at}stacybrookman{dot}com.   (https://www.stacybrookman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/6-Simple-Steps-to-Pass-Down-Crazy-Family-Stories-With-Love-Memoirs.png) 100 Most Important Memoirs of the Past 200 Years Our memoir of the day is stacybrookman.com/100memoirs (http://www.stacybrookman.com/100memoirs/) .   About: Melissa Pierce (https://www.stacybrookman.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/Brick_wall.jpg) Melissa Grahek Pierce is the author of Filled With Gold, written with Christine Fadden. She went through a tremendous trial when she lost her husband after adopting two young boys, and the book is the story of her journey. Now, she helps other widows cope with their own losses and move forward. She enjoys her roles as a wife, mother, sister, life coach, and friend. Melissa currently calls Portland, Oregon, home.         Links: Website:  (http://filledwithgold.org/) Facebook Page: (https://www.facebook.com/filledwithgold/)  

A Tough Story Filled With Gold

Everyone goes through their own trials and tribulations but it’s about overcoming them through not only mental strength but vocally. To grow from your past and help others on their own journey. It only takes one spark to start a fire. Navigate With Soul Tough childhood: Jennifer Lynn McGraw and her sisters were victimized by abuse throughout their childhood. I interviewed Jennifer for this podcast and she thrived in spite of her past. Jennifer remained silent about her abuse until her youngest son entered college. Then she felt ready to start writing down her life’s journey. She published her first book, Changing Lanes from Hell to Heaven, on Amazon to share her story and connect with others. After a while, Jennifer took her books off the shelf to remodel, edit, and overall create something even more fulfilling, which is now called, Navigating with Soul. Jennifer is a nurse as well as a mentor to many. She has been studying and practicing wellness for over 30 years. Focusing on teens, she encourages them to mentor in a win win situation. Listen to the episode for the full story. (https://stacybrookman.mykajabi.com/landing-time-to-leave-your-man-1) CLICK TO GET YOUR FREE CHECKLIST – SEE FOR YOURSELF Stacy’s Journal Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource. Jennifer mentioned that she wanted to be a voice, or a champion, for those who feel like they can’t express themselves or speak up about abuse. She herself was afraid of the repercussions from her family. Victims are the ones who remain silent. I would like to encourage anyone who has been a victim, whether it’s from abuse, or some other life event, to start writing it down. Writing helps you get it out of your head, find words for what’s happened to you, and helps you gain power over those thoughts and that event rather than letting it have power over you. You never have to share it with anyone at all. It’s incredibly healthy and even life-changing to write about those tough times. It can be personal, just for you.  Just start with 10 minutes a day in a journal and see where that takes you. That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Luiza Coscia (https://www.stacybrookman.com/podcast-2/) shared some great strategies for raising children to be resilient. – so, if you need to help your children to be more resilient, you might want to go back and have a listen. Next week, we’ll interview Melissa Pierce who became a widow and single parent overnight. I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsQYpXODmHfOyEfc4iATRvA/videos?disable_polymer=1) , and just about anywhere you can hold a great virtual conversation. Plus, I answer all my emails personally, so feel free to email me: stacy{at}stacybrookman{dot}com.   100 Most Important Memoirs of the Past 200 Years Our memoir of the day is stacybrookman.com/100memoirs (http://www.stacybrookman.com/100memoirs/) .   (https://www.stacybrookman.com/100memoirs/)     About: Jennifer Lynn McGraw (https://www.stacybrookman.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/IMG_0974.jpeg) Jennifer Lynn McGraw is a Registered Nurse Certified in Maternal Newborn as well as a Certified Diabetes Educator and  Nutritionist. She has spent many years in Health Education and helping young adults manage their diets and exercise. Her goal is to help adolescents learn how to change their thought patterns, behaviors, and ultimately the direction of their life. She teaches them how to create a window where positive energy replaces the negative, and fills them with a sense of well-being.   Links: Website:  JenniferLynnMcGraw.net (http://www.jenniferlynnmcgraw.net) Facebook Page: Jennifer Lynn McGraw (https://www.facebook.com/JenniferLynnMcGraw/) Twitter: (https://twitter.com/navigatesoul)...

Navigate With Soul

How to raise children with a sense of resilience? This week, we are joined again by Luiza Coscia, an engineer, author, and mother of five children with special needs. She discusses her strategies to raise out-of-the-box children with out-of-the-box strategies. Raising Resilient Kids Luiza Y. Coscia, author of Outcast to Outstanding: The Practical Guide to Understanding & Addressing the Drivers of Your Child’s Behavior, joined us as a special guest again this week. Luiza is an author, engineer, and mother of five children with special needs. Last time she was a guest on the podcast, we discussed the importance of being resilient as a parent (https://www.stacybrookman.com/harmoniousclan1/) . Today, we discuss some of her strategies for raising resilient children. Luiza has a series of strategies that she employs in order to instill a sense of resilience into her children. She knows that at some point, all children will find themselves in situations that require them to exhibit the ability to remain resilient in the face of trouble. Coscia describes children’s brains as a sponge, and says that it is parent’s jobs to feed that. Through several different methods, Luiza teaches her children how to act resilient. The first strategy that Luiza uses to help her children understand the importance of resilience is subjecting them to historical figures. By sharing the stories of others acts of resilience, she hopes her children will aim to exhibit the same traits. She told us about how her two year old son likes to share the story of Gandhi with others. Luiza will write down quotes from these historical figures, and talk about how their words have left legacies. She believes that children can look up to these people, and strive to be more like them. Front Loading Resilience Strategies Her second strategy is something that she likes to refer to as “front loading.” Front loading involves preparing children for difficult situations before they encounter them. For example, whenever she takes all five of her children bowling she will discuss with them that not all of them will win. However, she tells them that if they work hard on it, they will improve. She provides incentives for her children such as if everyone graciously loses, they will be allowed to play a second game. The third strategy is to draw to children in order to help them learn. Luiza will illustrate things on kitchen napkins to teach her kids different ways of being resilient. She will display someone overcoming difficult situations, and exhibit that at the end things worked out properly. Luiza says that the drawings can range in complexity depending on the age of the child. Another strategy that Luiza uses is modeling situations of resilience in her own life to her children. She says that you are your child’s hero, whether you feel like it or not. An example from her own life that she uses to illustrate her ability to be resilient is the difficulty she faces at home when her husband is out of town travelling for work. She asks her children if she should just give up, and throw in the towel. By displaying her own hardships, her children not only learn but offer to provide more help. Now that you have taught your children some ways to be resilient, your fifth strategy would be to have your kids practice being resilient. Luiza will have her children imagine being in very difficult situations, and have them display resilience. Luiza does this by having them say out loud phrases such as, “this is difficult, but I will get through it.” Live Resilience Every Day Luiza’s final strategy is that you need to live resilience in your life. You have to communicate with your child, and talk about using resilience day to day. It is important for you to tell them situations in which you faced trials and tribulations, but were able to be resilient. If you employ Luiza Y. Coscia’s strategies, you will be able to successfully teach your children how to be resilient....

Harmonious Clan: Resilient Kids

“I’m not shy to say that they are just really, really quirky kids,” says Luiza Coscia, mother to five children with special needs, who she prefers to think of as out of the box children. After going to school to be an engineer, her life experience lead her to engineering out of the box solutions to help out of the box children like her own. One Harmonious Clan Luiza Y. Coscia is an engineer, author, and mother to five special needs children. When asked about her children, Luiza says that she is not ashamed to say that they are just really, really quirky kids. All five of her children have some sort of special needs, that require creative interventions. After raising her children, she knows the importance of remaining strong and resilient as a parent. She attended college as an engineering student, but Luiza’s life experiences lead her to engineer out of the box solutions for out of the box children. She says that nowadays, having out of the box children with special needs is such an epidemic. In almost every classroom, there are children who suffer because they cannot conform to the class. Luiza says these children typically end up in the principal’s office frequently, because they are out of the box. Luiza says that a lot of low points she has encountered were due to there not being any understanding. She believes that there is a lack of public awareness about out of the box special needs children such as her own. The hardest part is the lack of awareness about what could be going on underneath, in order to cause the children to act in such a manner. Parental Judgment “I’ve had a lot of moments when everybody turned their eyes on me and my clan,” says Luiza. She says that people are quick to judge parents and their children. Before making judgements, Luiza encourages people to consider what the other people are going through. “You haven’t walked a mile in my shoes. You don’t know what I’m going through. My child is an excellent child, and I am a fabulous mother.”   (https://stacybrookman.mykajabi.com/landing-time-to-leave-your-man-1)   Stacy’s Journal Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource. During our interview, Luiza said that the main issue she has faced as a parent of five special needs, out of the box children is a lack of understanding. People are not compassionate to others’ situations, and there is a lack of understanding of what might be going on underneath the surface. “You haven’t walked a mile in my shoes. You don’t know what I’m going through. My child is an excellent child, and I am a fabulous mother,” says Luiza. This was one of my favorite quotes from our interview. People really can’t grasp what someone else is going through unless they experience it for themselves. And even then, everyone’s experience is quite different. As Luiza said, parents are quick to judge others’ parenting styles based on the behavior of the child. However, people don’t stop to consider what could be going on in that child’s life in order to cause them to act this way. I encourage you to take a moment the next time you see a misbehaving child and a parent desperate to control the situation. Consider the underlying issues that may cause children to act out in such ways. Instead of judging the child or parent, ask what you can do to help. You just might save a Mom’s sanity. That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Cec Murphey (https://www.stacybrookman.com/cecmurphey/) shared his thoughts on appreciating ourselves and realizing that God created each of us to love and to be loved – so if you need a little bit of encouragement , you might want to go back and have a listen. Next week, we’ll continue our interview with Luiza in Part 2 of our series. She will talk about raising resilient children. I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on 5 Ways to Stay Calm When Your Life is in Serious...

Harmonious Clan: Resilient Parents

Childhood sexual abuse leaves a lifelong scar. It is difficult for male survivors of sexual abuse to discuss the matter in public because of social stigma. So much so that many survivors keep on denying the reality. Cecil Murphey, speaker, blogger and author of books like ‘More than Surviving: Courageous Meditations for Men Hurting from Childhood Abuse’, helps survivors of male sexual abuse accept reality, share their pain with compassionate listeners, and believe in the fact that they are not alone in their suffering. Male Sexual Abuse Survivors Shatter the Silence I interviewed Cec Murphey who explained how writing helped him come to terms with his own past sexual abuse. Through his blogs, articles and books, he opens up about his own struggles. His blogs and books also include real life stories of survivors of male sexual abuse. Cec helps other survivors to share their trauma with compassionate readers. He wants them to accept reality, find help and move on. Survivors of sexual abuse, particularly men, find it more difficult to talk about their harrowing experiences. They have to overcome shame and break social taboos. Hence, many of them keep denying the facts and choose to suffer alone. Through his writings, Cec drives the fact that there are many survivors of male sexual abuse and if you’re one of them, you’re not alone. You can send emails to Cec and he will definitely send replies. You can also leave your comments on his blog site. If you prefer to keep your identity hidden, you can do so as well. (https://www.facebook.com/MenShatteringTheSilence/) Stacy’s Journal Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource. As I interviewed Cec, I couldn’t help but think, what would I have done if I remembered such abuse? What would you have done? Would you tell anyone or would you hide it and let it eat through you day-in-day-out.  Cec actually experienced a mental breakdown and his memories started to haunt him. He couldn’t help it. Mustering his resilience, Cec decided to stand up against his fears. He did research, he investigated, and ultimately  he helped himself, and he’s helped thousands of other abuse victims. I believe that this is the greatest achievement a person can aspire to. The ability to counter personal fears and use them as a lesson for your life. Perhaps take a moment to just peek at your own fears. You don’t have to delve head first into them right now, but acknowledging that they’re there is the first step. Then you can ultimately turn to face them, and conquer them. That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Antoinette Martin (https://www.stacybrookman.com/podcast-2/) shared her thoughts on Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer and hugging everyone you know – so if you have had cancer affect your family, you might want to go back and have a listen. Next week, we’ll interview Luiza Coscia who engineers out of the box solutions for out of the box children. I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsQYpXODmHfOyEfc4iATRvA/videos?disable_polymer=1) , and just about anywhere you can hold a great virtual conversation. Plus, I answer all my emails personally, so feel free to email me: stacy{at}stacybrookman{dot}com.   (https://www.stacybrookman.com/100memoirs/)         100 Most Important Memoirs of the Past 200 Years This week’s memoir is stacybrookman.com/100memoirs. (https://www.stacybrookman.com/100memoirs/) And always remember, Life is a story, and it’s never too late to start telling yours.   About: Cec Murphey (https://www.stacybrookman.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/289518-R1-16-17_017-2-691x1024.jpg) Veteran author Cecil (Cec) Murphey has written or co-written more than 135 books, including the New York Times bestseller 90 Minutes in Heaven (with Don Piper) and Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson...

Male Sexual Abuse Survivors – Shattering the Silence

“I never thought I would be someone who needed so much support,” says Antoinette Truglio Martin, about reaching out to her support group after her cancer diagnosis. Antoinette was diagnosed with stage one breast cancer in 2007, and within five years it had metastasized to her vertebrae and became considered stage four. Now, she will live with cancer for the rest of her life. However, Antoinette remains an optimistic person. She says that in her family the glass is not half empty, it is almost full. Go Hug Everyone You Know Antoinette Truglio Martin is the author of Hug Everyone You Know: A Year of Community, Courage, and Cancer.  The book is a memoir about her first year with breast cancer. She is a Antoinette Truglio Martin is a speech therapist and special education teacher, but considers herself a writer at heart. She received her MFA in Creative Writing and Literature from Stony Brook/Southampton University in 2016. Martin’s book Hug Everyone You Know: A Year of Community, Courage, and Cancer is a memoir about her first year of breast cancer. 2-3% of all funds raised from her book go to cancer research. Hug Everyone You Know documents the first year of Martin’s life after getting diagnosed with stage one breast cancer. It includes email correspondence between her and her community, as well as Antoinette’s journal entries. (https://www.amazon.com/Hug-Everyone-You-Know-Community/dp/1631522620) Cancer Doesn’t Deserve a Pretty Journal Martin says that she always wanted to be a writer when she grew up, and she still does. While writing down her feelings about the first year after diagnosis, Martin documented everything in shabby journals. “I didn’t want cancer to be honored in any way, so it is going to get a shabby notebook,” says Martin. She did not have any special notebooks, pens, or bookmarks. Her day to day life of living with cancer was bookmarked by the dog-eared pages in those journals.   Keeping in Contact Through Emails During her traumatic first year of battling cancer, Martin chose to update everyone in her life through emails. “It was easier for me to compose an email and send it out to everyone,” says Martin. Instead of talking on the phone, Martin decided that updates came best in the form of emails. Antoinette chose to update people in her life via email, because sometimes it was easier than talking to someone on the phone. She found that talking about cancer on the phone caused her to have to relive the trauma. Martin never considered herself to be a “chatty” person on the phone, so emails allowed her to share her progress with loved ones.   Living Day-to-Day with Cancer Within five years of her stage one breast cancer diagnosis, Antoinette’s cancer had metastasized and attached itself to her spine. She wants people to know that breast cancer does not kill people, cancer that has metastasized and attached itself to vital organs kills people. Stage four cancer still does not have a cure, but it can be managed with treatment. Antoinette considers herself very lucky to be living with cancer in a time with such advanced medicine. “I feel like I am living proof of the progress that has been made. I lived past my expiration point,” says Antoinette. “I refuse to call it mine,” Antoinette Truglio Martin says about breast cancer. Though she will live with stage four cancer for the rest of her life, Antoinette does not consider the cancer to be “hers.” Instead, it is just something she has and will live with. Cancer is no longer the focal point of Martin’s journaling. She has two daughters, with grandchildren on the way. She is a speech therapist, as well as a special education teacher. Antoinette is more concerned about things going on with her day to day life than the “looming cancer.”   Cancer and Community Antoinette says that she never thought of herself as someone who would need to seek out support. However, after her diagnosis she found herself needing her community. She says

Hug Everyone You Know

“You have to work at hoping for the positive,” says Carol Graham, host of the bi-weekly podcast Never Ever Give up Hope. She has survived the challenges of major illnesses, devastating personal losses and financial ruin more than once, yet has refused to become a victim. Her goal is to share hope with others and lessons on how to survive and thrive.   Don’t Give Up Hope…Choose to Forgive Carol is an excellent example of how necessary it is to keep a positive mindset during some of the toughest of trials. After realizing that she was in control of her future, Carol decided to dedicate her life to helping others. Being a motivational speaker is just one of the many ways that Carol positively impacts the lives of others. She hosts a bi-weekly podcast, and recently released her memoir. Carol is a successful business woman owns and operates two jewelry stores. She has been a certified life coach for 35 years, and touched numerous lives. In addition to helping other humans, Carol has rescued over 30 dogs with her husband.   Overcoming Trials and Traumas “People get so overwhelmed by 1 or 2 traumas in their life that they have difficulty imagining someone going through them back to back.” There was a point in Carol’s life that she avoided answering the phone, fearing that it would just be more bad news. Carol was born very ill, and after consulting seventeen experts she encountered a specialist who told her that she needed to get a hysterectomy.   “Lady… Go home, suffer, and die,” is what Carol was told after she refused to get a hysterectomy. Determined, she told the expert that she would walk back in there one day – pregnant. 14 years later, she walked back in there to prove him wrong. However, it was not an easy road to get to that point.   Carol is the victim of sexual violence. One day, she was gang raped and left for dead on the street. Rape is one of the most traumatizing events someone can suffer through, but Carol chose not to let it impact her negatively for the rest of her life. She says that she decided to forgive those who wronged her, in order to move on from the experience.   Not only once, but twice was Carol robbed by her business partners. Even then, she actively decided to forgive people who she trusted that went corrupt. While her previous partners profited and became successful, she and her husband were left with virtually nothing.   After a year of having an adopted son, his biological mother decided she wanted custody of him. Carol suffered greatly when she lost her son, then had to endure the same suffering years later. Thirty years into their relationship, Carol lost another adopted son due to estrangement.   Carol reached a point in her life where her traumas were too much for her, and once tried to commit suicide. She lost both of her parents at a young age, and did not seek out friendships. She believed that people would not want to be friends with her due to her struggles, so she did not have a healthy support group.   She relied on her faith, and believed that she would be guided through whatever situation. Carol attributes her faith as her largest source of hope at some points during her life. In hindsight, Carol believes that it is very important to have a support group that you can rely on.   The Key to Remaining Positive? Carol thinks the most important thing to overcoming your traumas and trials is to have a sense of humor. There have been many times in her life where Carol chose to laugh, because if she did not laugh she would end up crying. She and her husband have rescued over 30 dogs, and she says that animals can bring humor into your life when you need it most.   It can be hard to always have a positive mindset, but Carol believes that you can choose how you view what has happened to you. Her advice? Move on. She says that she has moved past all of her traumas, because she decided to remain positive...

Never, Ever Give Up Hope

Any bonafide writer calls themselves a writer because they write. There’s really no other way of describing a writer than that. All you need to do to call  yourself a writer is pick up the pen and begin to write.   Highlights from the interview: Luis’ mother died when he was five and he was homeless for three years after that before being adopted into the United States Luis found trouble: expelled from middle school, smoking pot, getting into trouble. However, he discovered poetry when a teacher saw his potential and gave him a book of poetry by Pablo Neruda titled “The Captain’s Verses”. He went on to help with and then winning many poetry slam competitions. Now Luis is a successful entrepreneur (thrivinglaunch.com) Luis’ idea of a writer is anyone that writes. There’s really no other way of describing a writer. He coaches writers to just pick up the pen and write. Just showing up is the first piece. The next piece is to show up and share what you’ve written with other people. After that, then you can read other great writers and get to know them, try to emulate to some degree or discover what you can pick up from them to add to your own writing technique. If you’re doing these things, without a doubt, even without anyone’s help, you will become an amazing writer. Listen to the episode for the full story.     (http://stacybrookman.com/webinar1)       Stacy’s Journal Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource. I loved Luis’s background in oral storytelling and poetry slams. Sharing your story out loud can not only be empowering, but it can really move other people who hear it. It’s a unique way of sharing your experiences because storytelling is among the oldest forms of entertainment. It even dates back to 10th century Japan. Before you go all prickly at the thought of speaking in front of a group, consider going smaller at first, by joining a local story circle where everyone shares their stories. Or even simply reading aloud to a friend. The act of receiving someone’s story is a gift that people want to give you. By sharing your story aloud, you enable others to hear your story, acknowledge your struggles and your triumphs, and connect with you through your story. You can google writing circles or even live storytelling near your city.   That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Mike Veny shared his thoughts on struggling with suicide attempts and mental health – so if you need if you know of anyone who might resonate with that topic, you might want to go back and have a listen. Next week, we’ll interview Carol Graham who just might be the most tenacious person you’ll ever know.   I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsQYpXODmHfOyEfc4iATRvA/videos?disable_polymer=1) , and just about anywhere you can hold a great virtual conversation. Plus, I answer all my emails personally, so feel free to email me: stacy{at}stacybrookman{dot}com.   100 Most Important Memoirs of the Past 200 Years This week’s memoir is:  (https://www.stacybrookman.com/100memoirs/) We’re having fun counting down the 100+ most important memoirs of the past 200 years. So our memoir of the day by Maya Angelou. It’s her famous I know Why The Caged Bird Sings, written in 1969.  Sent by their mother to live with their devout grandmother, Maya and her brother Bailey are abandoned to the prejudice of the local “powhitetrash.” At 8 years old, back at her mother’s side, Maya is attacked by a man and has to live with the lifetime consequences. She learns that love for herself, others’ kindness, her strong spirit, and the ideas of great authors allow her to be free instead of imprisoned. Check out I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings and all the memoirs on this...

The Poetry of Life

A mental health speaker just got real about his own mental health. Only 5% of people with chronic health conditions practice self-care says Mike Veny. “So statistically that’s zero. Basically, it’s a nonsense term that we throw around telling each other to do, but nobody’s doing it.”   Mental Health is a Journey Highlights from the interview: Mike is America’s leading mental health speaker and a corporate drumming facilitator. Drumming helped him overcome his mental health challenges. Mike started his mental health journey when he was young. They manifested as behavior problems. He was the poster child for mental health issues: hospitalized three times, kicked out of three schools, attempted suicide at age 10, and was violent at home. He is still working on his mental health issues. It’s become more manageable. He doesn’t self-harm anymore, but he does have to manage his thinking. He still struggles with depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. He had a breakdown and was hospitalized early in 2017. One of the most powerful skills one can learn is to just sit with your feelings, and to admit that you are powerless over your emotions. That has been incredibly humbling and insightful. Mental health is a process, not a destination. Mental health issues are confusing and frustrating for everyone. He just wanted a solution as a kid and as an adult. He has to make the decision to be mentally healthy every day. Part of that includes 30 minutes of journaling. Sometimes he doesn’t want to do that because he knows how painful his thoughts were that day and he’d rather get a drink at the bar. But he promises to show up for himself, so he journals. Mike’s Health Central article on  How to Practice Self-Care Without Being Selfish (https://www.healthcentral.com/article/how-to-practice-self-care-without-being-selfish) . Mike’s TedX talk on Mental Illness is an Asset (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nma0Gey-KEU) Listen to the episode for the full story.     (http://stacybrookman.com/webinar1)       Stacy’s Journal Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource. One of the things that Mike recommended as a first step for anyone with tough issues is to talk about it. In fact, this interview has been one of my favorites because Mike himself was unafraid to talk about his suicide attempts and his struggles. We often find ourselves in a culture of secrecy. Just think about how many women spoke up in 2017 about sexual harassment and who kept those secrets for sometimes decades. And think about the women who are still not speaking up because they are afraid. I get it, I’ve kept secrets I shouldn’t have too. In fact, most of my life I never spoke up for myself, until I was in my 40’s. Writing my stories helped me to get clear about them and to share them with others. Listen, you should never suffer alone. Others may share your thoughts and opinions, or even have similar issues, but may be also unwilling to speak up. By speaking your truth and sharing your stories, you encourage them to voice their opinions as well. I can teach you how to share your story in my upcoming free webinar 4 Simple, Proven Methods to Writing the First Chapter of Your Life Story in Just 7 days. It’s for writers and non-writers and it’s a great way to get started, especially if you’ve been hesitant to tell your stories. Head over to stacybrookman.com/webinar for that.   That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Sharon Roth-Lichtenfeld talked about finding peace and joy in the midst of adversity (https://www.stacybrookman.com/sharonrothlichtenfeld) – so if adversity has camped out at your house, you might want to go back and have a listen. Next week, we’ll interview Luis Congdon who talks about being homeless at age five and how poetry

Transforming Stigma

Do you have enough adversity in your life to have an adversity bio? Sharon Roth-Lichtenfeld does! This founder of Good Grief Coaching has survived hardship and heartache amazingly well. Listen to the episode to discover how she finds peace and joy in the midst of very tough circumstances.   Good Grief in Adversity Highlights from the interview: A lot of research has proven that you are not born resilient. It’s a skillset that every individual has inside of them and can cultivate it at any given moment. Resilience: the skill to see things from a different point of view and recognize that inside of them they can create peace and joy no matter what happens in their life. Adversity will happen, you won’t get away from the pain, but you can go through it faster and come out the other side stronger, wiser, and meaning. We have to recognize the peace and joy that show up in the world, even in the midst of adversity and while we’re having pain. Often we see so many happy people around us, but we’re going through the pain. It’s hard for us. You may not get to happy, but you can get to peace. The goal is to get to moments of peace or seconds of peace with the goal of stretching those into longer moments. Sharon has an adversity bio on her website (http://www.goodgriefcoaching.com/adversity-biography/) . She’s had a lot to recover from. The old Sharon would push feelings aside and ignore them. Over the years she’s learned to express her feelings and allow herself to feel the pain. Everything that happens you can make something meaningful and greater and better than it is. You’re OK to have your emotions. Record your emotions, speak them and listen to them back. It’s important to express how you’re thinking and feeling It’s also important to be grateful. And be very specific. There’s ALWAYS something to be grateful for. The practice of gratitude helps train your brain to see what you do have. Listen to the episode for the full story.     (http://stacybrookman.com/webinar1)       Stacy’s Journal Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource. Sharon explained that you can look for joy and peace even in the midst of adversity. So many times in our lives we have to actively LOOK for joy and recognize things to celebrate. It seems counterintuitive almost. Something sad, bad, or awful has happened, but in addition to feeling those feelings you also look for joy. I don’t want to discount having feelings of sadness because those are valid and important to acknowledge and feel. But holding that alongside the search for tiny bits of joy can help you get through a tough time. Part of finding joy is being present during our days. Presence is a gift. Thinking about the past leads to regret. Thoughts of the future lead to anxiety. Keep your mind in the present if you want to experience happiness on a regular basis. Find the tiniest amount of joy that’s around you.   That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Peter Shankman, whose brain runs faster than normal (http://stacybrookman.com/petershankman) , shared his insight into why the ADHD brain is a gift, so if you have someone with ADHD in your life, you might want to go back and have a listen. Next week, we’ll interview Mike Veny, America’s leading mental health speaker, who talks about his own mental health struggles.   I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsQYpXODmHfOyEfc4iATRvA/videos?disable_polymer=1) , and just about anywhere you can hold a great virtual conversation. Plus, I answer all my emails personally, so feel free to email me: stacy{at}stacybrookman{dot}com.   100 Most Important Memoirs of the Past 200 Years This week’s memoir is:...

Adversity Be Damned, Hello Resilience

Your brain on ADHD is a Lamborghini, you just need to know how to drive it! Peter Shankman has discovered how ADHD can be a gift and shares that wisdom in his book: Faster Than Normal.   The Gift of ADHD Highlights from the interview: (https://www.amazon.com/Faster-Than-Normal-Turbocharge-Productivity-ebook/dp/B01NARNVTX/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1513284358&sr=8-1&keywords=faster+than+normal) Peter came by his expertise with ADHD by growing up with it. But it was called sit-down-you’re-disrupting-the-class-disease. He didn’t realize his brain was just looking for that extra dopamine that it wasn’t getting. ADHD is a superpower that he uses to his advantage. He figures out ways to channel that energy to do what he needs to do. His book, Faster Than Normal, focuses on the ADHD brian and that it is a benefit and not a curse to have it. People without ADHD can follow these rules and get more productivity. He has a podcast called Faster Than Normal and interviews other people who are taking advantage of the ADHD mind One day, he decided that the people out there that would judge him were not paying his mortgage, so he just told his story. He was very socially awkward as a kid and young adult. Not until his 30’s was he able to control his faster brain. He has been working as an entrepreneur since his 20’s because that fits his personality and his brain. He wrestles with ADHD every day. But he makes sure he has very specific life rules to make sure he treats his brain the right way. For instance, he made an agreement with himself to get up and exercise before he does anything else because he knows his brain needs exercise for him to have a good day. It’s an absolute requirement. You have to understand and accept that. He wrote Faster Than Normal (https://www.fasterthannormal.com/) , usually a tedious process, on a flight he booked from New York to Tokyo. He brought his laptop, a power cord, headphones and a sweater. He wrote chapters one through five on the flight to Tokyo. He landed in Tokyo, went through immigration, turned around and wrote chapters 6 through 10 on the flight home – a total of 31 hours to write his book. It works for him. Writing on planes is his zone of focus. Many people label ADHD as negative. Peter has made ADHD a positive thing. Typically people label “different” as bad, but he celebrates the differences and uses them to his advantage. His goal is to teach people that it’s not a death sentence to be different. You want to be different. The key is to understand your own brain and how it works. Another thing Peter does is to eliminate choice as much as possible. For instance, his wardrobe is divided into two sections: 1) Office and Travel and it has t-shirts and jeans, 2) Speaking and TV and it has button down shirts, jackets and jeans. If he had to get up every morning and decide what to wear, he would never be able to decide. Listen to the episode for the full story.     (http://stacybrookman.com/webinar1)     . Stacy’s Journal Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource. I loved Peter’s contracts with himself to make sure he does what’s right for his brain. I think we can all learn something from that. I know for me, I can’t take that first bite of bread or a cookie because I’ll eat till I’m beyond full. I’m also a huge procrastinator, so I have to schedule my time and stick to my commitments to myself in order to get things done. I once heard a business guru recommend we schedule our lives just as if we are in school. When the virtual bell rings, at [9:00] you do one thing, at [10:00] you do another and so on. That makes sense because time definitely fills up what we give it. So I’d like for you to think about contracts that you need to make with yourself. What is it in your life that you overindulge, avoid, procrastinate, or need to put parameters...

Faster Than Normal – ADHD Brain

Is it possible to foster resiliency in the direct aftermath of the pain and grief of infertility and miscarriage? Jeanette White has allowed her experiences to help her grow in areas she never imagined. She now reaches out to others to offer support. Listen to find out why she recommends the Memory Resolution Technique.   Fostering Resiliency in the Aftermath of Infertility and Miscarriage Highlights from the interview: Resiliency is not just about the ability to recover quickly and move on from something, it is about what we do with the impact that a difficult circumstance has had on our life and the way it has changed us. We never fully spring back into the shape we were prior to trauma. Jeanette’s personal journey with resiliency which has been deeply linked to making it through traumatic grief and loss in the realm of infertility and miscarriage I have found to be two phases of resilience: The first stage is about how to foster resilience in the direct aftermath of loss and grief, the second stage is action as resilience.  Letting people in/avoiding isolation (share what you’re going through with trusted person/people). Make the choice to reach out and accept others help. Allowing the wave of emotions to come and go as they need to (don’t shut down). It’s OK to let this well up and impact me. Journaling/free writing; reference study by Pennebaker on the impact on emotional resiliency The Memory Resolution Technique (a quick description of this essential-oil based self-guided technique and how it’s been helpful to me) Action in relation to the difficulty as a movement toward resiliency What this has looked like for Jeanette in three ways: Awareness/sensitivity to others Being available to meet with others going through the same struggles Stretching beyond her comfort zone and beginning to speak about her story and the impact of grief Listen to the episode for the full story.     (http://stacybrookman.com/webinar1)       Stacy’s Journal Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource. Jeanette talked about letting people in as one of the steps to resilience. That is actually a huge step to being a more resilient person. Bigger than it sounds. Have you ever been in a situation where someone offered help and your very first answer is No Thank You. Even before you thought about it. Then later you struggle alone. That is so hard for many of us. Often, it’s for one of three reasons: We want to be the person who “has it all together” and accepting help is seen (in our screwed up minds) as a sign of weakness. By accepting help we admit that we are vulnerable. Part of being vulnerable is risking community. We have become such an individualistic society that being a giving and receiving part of a community is almost a foreign concept. Oh, we can talk community, but to actually live it out in real life is a very vulnerable, yet strong, thing to do. We risk people failing us, again. And again. Perhaps they won’t say just the right thing, or they will give us advice we don’t really want. It’s inevitable, really. People do fail us and we should expect that to happen. However, if we do let people in, become vulnerable, accept help in our times of weakness, we actually see ourselves become stronger and discover the benefits of fellowship like we have never experienced before. We are social beings made for connection. So next time someone offers help, stop before you decline, and consider saying yes.   That’s all we have for today. That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Rachael Clinton shared her thoughts on tending to heartbreak – so if your heart has ever longed to be tended to, you might want to go back and have a listen. Next week, we’ll interview Peter Shankman whose brain runs faster than normal. He shares...

Fostering Resilience Through Grief

Research proves that resilience can be learned and developed in anyone. The Real Life Resilience mission is to tell stories of recovery from life's most difficult trauma and provide tools for resilience. Our goal is to help you, our listeners, know how to transform your own life by telling your tough life stories. Life happens and life storytelling transforms it. Find more resources at https://www.stacybrookman.com/

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Real Life Resilience

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