If your family is broken, you’ve probably felt like our guest today who badly wanted her family to be normal. It’s such a natural desire which goes painfully unsatisfied. In this raw episode, we discuss:How an affair broke her family apart and how that’s impacted herHow we often use excessive drinking to cope with our pain and what to do insteadWhen moving away from your family could be the right thing for a timeBuy Joey’s book: It’s Not Your Fault: A Practical Guide to Navigating the Pain & Problems from Your Parents’ Divorce (affiliate link)Share Your StoryJoin Restored’s CommunityShownotes

Restored: Helping Children of Divorce

#055: I Wish My Family Was Normal | Ashlyn Frederick

If you spoke to your friends the way you spoke to yourself, would those relationships become abusive? The words you tell yourself are often filled with lies, but you might not even realize it.But those lies become your identity, which then dictates the quality and happiness of your life. Thankfully, our guest today can help you beat the lies and discover your real identity. In this episode, we discuss:Why it is so important to uncover the lies you believe about yourselfHow it’s simple yet difficult to replace those lies with the truthTwo tactics and resources you can use today to change the way you talk to yourself and renew your identityBuy Chris’s book: I AM: Rewrite Your Name—Reroute Your LifeBuy Joey’s book: It’s Not Your Fault: A Practical Guide to Navigating the Pain & Problems from Your Parents’ DivorceShownotesThe links above are Amazon affiliate links. Restored receives a commission for each purchase at no extra cost to you.

#054: How to Stop Damaging Yourself with Your Words | Chris Stefanick

Many young people from broken families struggle to discern their relationships and calling in life because they feel so anxious and uncertain. The trauma of their broken family and the effects that stem from it often interfere with their ability to discern properly. In this episode, we dive into that and more:Why a lack of peace isn’t an automatic indicator that a relationship or vocation isn’t meant to beHow to discern if you feel anxious and uncertainHow our desire for 100% certainty prevents us from living the life we were meant to live.Plus, we offer a sneak preview of our brand new book, It’s Not Your Fault. Get the FREE chapters from our new book, It’s Not Your Fault.Shownotes

#053: Does a Lack of Peace Prove Your Relationship Isn’t Meant to Be?

A popular question we receive from young people from broken families is “How do I help my parents and navigate my relationship with them?” In this episode, we offer advice and answer that question. We discuss:What to do when your parents try to enlist you in their war against each otherHow to respond if your parents are asking you to make or heavily influence big decisions for themWhy you shouldn’t have to pretend everything is okay when Mom or Dad start dating someone elsePlus, we offer a sneak preview of our brand new book, It’s Not Your Fault. Get the FREE chapters from our new book, It’s Not Your Fault.Shownotes

#052: How to Navigate Your Relationship With Your Divorced Parents

Music has always been a tool to cope with the pain and problems from my parents’ divorce. Two artists whose music helped me a lot are Jenny and Tyler, a married musical duo. Their music and marriage have especially convinced me that love can last. In this episode, they share:Lessons they’ve learned after years in marriage that would’ve been helpful to know before they got married. Encouragement to anyone from a broken home who’s afraid of love and marriage. Advice to anyone who’s afraid of taking risks - as artists, they know a thing or two about taking risksListen to Jenny & TylerShownotes

#051: Music: A Powerful Tool to Help You Cope & Heal | Jenny & Tyler

For 40 years, Holli searched for help to heal from the trauma of her parents’ divorce, including 30 years of counseling. But nothing worked. She had all but lost hope when she found Restored. She claims this podcast has been more healing than 30 years of counseling.Having struggled with depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, she also shared how Restored has “literally saved my life.” If you’ve wondered how Restored can help you or someone you love or lead, this episode is for you. In it, we discuss:How her parents’ divorce came out of the blue, which research suggests may be most damagingHow her dad’s quick remarriage hurt her as much or almost more than the divorce itselfThe sense of loss she felt when she stopped seeing her siblings due to the divorcePlus, two huge announcements at the start of the show!Let us know how Restored has helped you here.Shownotes

#050: Why Didn’t You Choose Me? | Holli Lepley

What would you do if you were 12 years old and you accidentally found out that your mom is cheating on your dad? That’s the exact situation that today’s guest faced as a little girl.We discuss how she felt that her mom not only cheated on her dad, but on her and her siblings too. Plus, we get into:The ways in which her mom’s infidelity wounded herHow that wound was reopened when two boyfriends cheated on her in high school and collegeThe connection between her parents’ divorce and her desire for control in life and relationshipsHow on the external, everyone thought she was fine since she excelled in sports and school, but she was really hurting insideOne very common factor at the root of so many divorces and affairsShare your storyShownotes

#049: Healing from Your Parent’s Infidelity | Katie Mroczek

As a boy, Bart Schuchts thought his family was normal. But in reality, it was very broken. When he was five years old, his dad left after cheating on his mom. He remembers his mom crying herself to sleep at night. Seeing the devastation his dad left, he swore to never be like him. But in college, his worst fear came true. Sleeping around and using women, he realized: “I am just like my father.” Thankfully, his story didn’t end there. In this episode, he shares:How he overcame his anger, lust, depression, despair, and self-hateThe hurt he felt from opening up to the wrong people about his strugglesHow he learned to have compassion for his father and even forgive himJoin Restored’s communityShownotes

#048: Fear Became Reality: I Am Just Like My Father | Bart Schuchts

When your parents’ marriage breaks apart, it feels like an earthquake. The most basic foundation, your family, is shaken and shattered. It’s disorienting. It’s traumatic. As a result, we tend to go through life doubting anything can last. But thankfully, we’re not doomed to skepticism our entire lives. We can heal and feel whole again, like our guest Sandy. In this episode, she shares:How she beat chronic depressionHow her choice to forgive her parents led to feeling free instead of stuckThe sexual mistakes she made and the healing she’s foundShare your storyShownotes

#047: How Healing Improved My Life, Marriage, and Friendships | Sandra Howlett

What did you learn about parenting from your parents that you want to repeat with your kids? What do you not want to repeat?The answers to those questions are extremely valuable in helping you become the best parent you can be. But sadly, most of us don’t dig deep enough. Today, we do by talking about:Our experiences as new parents with babies who haven’t been born yetOur fears about becoming parentsAnswer: Do we feel more confident about marriage or parenting?6 things kids need from their parents and how to fill those needsReflect on lessons learned from our parents, good and bad, and how we want to parentHas Restored helped you? Let us know how.Shownotes

#046: Becoming a Great Parent: Learning from Your Parents’ Virtues and Vices | Miranda Henkel

It’s no secret that we’re facing a huge crisis of fatherlessness. So many fathers have physically or emotionally abandoned their children, largely because nobody ever showed them how to be a great dad. This problem is at the root of so many issues in our world. So, what’s the solution?In this episode, Justin Batt from Daddy Saturday offers advice and encouragement to current or future dads on how to raise good kids who become great adults. We discuss:How do we fix the fatherlessness crisis?Practical advice on how to become a great dad from a father who’s spent 14,000 hours and 500 intentional Saturdays with his kidsEncouragement for any men out there who feel like they don’t have what it takes to be a great father, especially because you didn’t receive it from your dad growing upBuy the Book: Daddy SaturdayAsk Joey

#045: How to Become the Dad You Wish You Had | Justin Batt

For most people, becoming a parent is beautiful but also scary and intimidating. But that is especially true for people from broken families. Often, we didn’t see a great example of parenthood, so we feel lost and unsure how to do it ourselves.In this episode, we talk parenting with Mike and Alicia Hernon, the parents of 10 kids and leaders of a ministry for parents called The Messy Family Project. We discuss:How his parents’ divorce affected Mike as a husband and fatherFears he had about becoming a father, how he overcame them, and how you can tooShould you put your marriage first or your children first and why is that important?Lots of practical parenting tips, especially for new parentsEncouragement if you feel like you don’t have what it takes to be a good parent because you never experienced it in your family Listen to The Messy Family PodcastShownotes

#044: Practical Tips for Becoming a Great Parent | Mike & Alicia Hernon

If you’re from a broken family, you likely struggle extra in your relationship with God. There are so many barriers people like us have to overcome. One barrier is feeling abandoned by God.In this episode, a Catholic priest who is a child of divorce joins us to discuss:How to overcome common barriers people like us face in our spiritual livesWhat to do if you feel abandoned by GodHow father and mother wounds impact our relationship with GodWhat to do if you feel far from God and want nothing to do with himFind a spiritual directorShownotes

#043: Do You Feel Abandoned by God? | Fr. John Paul Mary

As people from broken homes, we fear repeating the dysfunction we experienced in our families. But sometimes, we end up going down that path. Our guest today dealt with that in a very real way. Years after her parents divorced, she found herself in the exact place she never wanted to be: Going through her own divorce, feeling so broken and empty. But thankfully, her story and her marriage’s story doesn’t end there. In this episode, you’ll hear how her marriage was rescued and more:What was happening in her head and heart as her marriage fell apartHow she wrestled with depression, suicidal thoughts, and a bad relationship with her fatherHow she felt like she was inadequate and didn’t deserve loveShare your storyShownotes

#042: What is Broken Can Be Repaired | Shenandoah Lawson

Statistically, children of divorce are less likely to attend college. Further, they’re less likely to receive financial support from their parents for college. To pay for college, most young people apply for government aid by filling out the FAFSA. But if your parents are separated, divorced, or remarried, the process can seem confusing. Today, we speak with two experts to offer guidance on:How to answer certain FAFSA questions depending on your parents’ marriageMyths to watch out for Practical tips that are difficult to find on GoogleA video and infographic that’ll make the process simple for youWatch FAFSA videoView infographicBuy the Book: Degree Free Degree [affiliate link]Shownotes

#041: How to File the FAFSA if Your Parents are Divorced or Separated | Alex Driscoll & Mike Rossman

When your parents separate or divorce, it hurts. You feel alone and uncertain of how to deal with it all. If you feel that way, the Restored podcast is for you. On it, we feature expert interviews and stories that offer practical advice on how to cope and heal after the trauma of your parents' divorce or separation, so you can feel whole again and become the person you were born to be.

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Restored: Helping Children of Divorce

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