Schmidt, where the hell have you been?  Listen, it’s a pandemic baby!  I’ve been wearing the same quarantine lewk nearly every day, I no longer blow dry my hair, and I mostly don’t know what day it is.  I talk where I am and what I’ve been doing.  Mostly fishing, chopping wood, picking fruit, decorating my house.  Oh, not in real life.  In animal crossing.  I like to say I’m an animal crossing influencer, but for that, I’d have to have less trees, only one color flower, and my house has to match and listen, that’s not happening.  Do you understand any of what I said? Probably not.  Finally, Business Schmidt I should have started during pandemic times.  Mostly around tie dye items, but also focused on answering machine dating services, because no one wants to talk on Zoom. You ready? Let&apos;s go.

Sarah Talks Schmidt

Schmidt! It's a pandemic, baby

Where will be when these times are finally over (don&apos;t worry we&apos;re all alive in the version I&apos;m predicting)? Listen, I&apos;m trying to make sure Future Schmidt hasn&apos;t turned into a pile of mush with a drinking problem and an extreme fear of going outside.  Today&apos;s episode I&apos;m focusing on where and what I&apos;ll be doing.  Odds are that, I’ll be craftier (and maybe you too!?!), I will have watched zero more Disney movies (seriously don&apos;t--everyone&apos;s parents are dead), and I’ll be a Star Wars expert.  People change okay? Okay, you ready? Let&apos;s go.Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

Future Schmidt

Today&apos;s episode is all about my screen time.  It&apos;s a scary world we&apos;re in and my screen time is up 40% since last week, and trust me, it&apos;s not going down for the foreseeable future #covid19problems. I talk about how apparently now I also video chat at work? Does that mean I can&apos;t look like I work from home anymore, even though I work from home?  I also discuss my new favorite reality show, Family Karma.  I love a semi-nonstaged family reality show because family can be really vicious to one another on TV, especially season 1 when they don&apos;t know they shouldn&apos;t tell us so much during confessionals.  Finally, I talk my latest documentary obsession that boosted my Covid-19 quarantine spirits at least 15%--Tiger King.  100% of Tiger King seemed not real, but apparently it&apos;s real. Okay, you ready? Let&apos;s go.Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

Max Screen Schmidt

We&apos;ll guys, get ready because I know Aunt Cin isn&apos;t.  I&apos;m back in CT for the quarantine because California was pretty much the beginning of every dystopian novel I&apos;ve ever read and I&apos;ll have PTSD for the rest of my life.  But listen, dark times aren&apos;t for this podcast.  Hopefully it&apos;s not the end of the world, so instead I&apos;m going to focus on teaching you how to survive Work from Home (come on guys, you don&apos;t need colored charts, you just need to WORK), activities that will keep you busy during the quarantine, and Dos and Don&apos;ts of Covid-19, like puzzling puzzles (except for the gradient ones) and playing 90s computer games on your iPhones.Okay, you ready? Let&apos;s go.Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

Quarantined Schmidt

Okay guys, let’s ship this thing.  You’ve listened to 22 episodes or maybe two, okay maybe one.  WE&apos;RE FRIENDS, OKAY?!? Today’s episode is all about making friends as adults which every gurl will tell you is freaking hard.  We all want to be friends, so why aren’t we friends?!?! Also, I talk hot Biden sons, because there is nothing else interesting about this primary.  Finally, I get real deep and tell you why you need a meat thermometer in your life, so you know when your chicken is hot enough, because unlike the Biden Boyz, you can’t tell by just looks. Okay, you ready? Let&apos;s go.Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

Friend-Schmidt Goals

Today’s episode is all about Schmidt I Love, which this week means one HIGHLY under-rated and underappreciated thing and one thing that everyone freaking loves, but wants to pretend they won’t love because they are too classy for that shit, but once I convince them they love it and they can’t stop texting me because DUH I DON’T STEER PEOPLE WRONG.  So, I&apos;ll let you in on a secret and I talk all things medicine cabinets (I KNOW THIS SOUNDS BORING, but it&apos;s not, I swear) and Love is Blind finale because I am shook, you need to watch otherwise you will have no water cooler talk or 2020 pop culture references. This is the year of Love is Blind people! GET ON THE BANDWAGON BEFORE IT&apos;S TOO LATE.Okay, you ready? Let&apos;s go.Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

Love this Schmidt

I&apos;m backkkkk! Guys,  I&apos;m a survivor (damn, I missed a great opportunity to sing the Michelle Williams break down section)!  Today&apos;s episode is all about surviving my #firstworldproblem life, like moving cross country with my dog, four pieces of luggage, and without #auntcin.  I also discuss season freaking 40 of Survivor.  Survivor survived being cut by a network!  We’re still watching, or at least I am. And finally, I have a lot of downtime working east coast hours, so how do I entertain myself (or survive) in an empty apartment? Oh I did it with a good ole TV binge - Love is Blind on Netflix. I tell you all the reasons you should watch and don’t worry I give limited spoilers because I want to discuss more after the finale.  This is like the basic bitch’s Game of Thrones. Trust me - you NEED to watch.Okay, you ready? Let’s go.Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

Schmidt Takes LA...and Survives

I&apos;m an expert in leopard (DUH), knowing you&apos;re pregnant before you know, and apparently also the 2020 Oscars, even though I didn&apos;t technically watch them (oops). In Episode 19, I recap the very boring Oscars I didn&apos;t watch along with the Oscar movies I didn&apos;t see, because I am a freaking expert at all things, and plus, Google exists.  Then a public service announcement to all you pregnant mamas out there who haven&apos;t posted your Instagram announcement yet...we already know you&apos;re pregnant and I&apos;ll tell you how we know.  Finally, talking about myself in third person here, Schmidt says goodbye to Connecticut and hello LA in full leopard garb, thanks to the best leopard/cosmo party planner Sista Nicole and #auntcin.  Cue Miley Cyrus, "Party in the USA."Okay, you ready? Let&apos;s go.Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

Expert Schmidt

Today’s episode I’m shooting the Schmidt. I talk how Taylor Swift is THE Schmidt. I watched her documentary, Miss Americana, so you don’t have to (but you should), and have a whole new appreciation for the lady.  Next, don’t make me hit pause.  I talk the worst kind of TV watchers aka the people that ask endless questions or don’t have the metal capability to follow a story line. Am I talking about you? Then maybe you shouldn’t watch TV anymore? K? K.  Finally, I don’t win Schmidt or maybe…I only win Schmidt – I love a good “I won a car” story, tell me have you ever won anything better than a weight watchers cookbook? Because I certainly haven’t. Okay, you ready? Let’s go.Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

Miss Americana Schmidt

Today&apos;s episode is all about Schmidt rants and hoping I don&apos;t ever get cancelled, but you know, I was always Corporate Schmidt, so I&apos;ve been pretty locked down for years and not dumb, 15, and tweeting.  I dive into my old tweets to see if there is anything I should be worried about---we shall see.  Also, I&apos;ve said it before and I will say it again, the only reason to have a baby is to have an Anne Geddes style photo shoot, so why aren&apos;t people doing this?!? I want to see your baby dressed up as a cabbage--DUH.  Finally a Schmidt rant like no other--are people really washing their reusable Ziploc bags or throwing them out?  Why are people choosing white bridesmaid dresses and who the hell is running Dolly Parton&apos;s social media and causing a stir with the #dollypartonchallenge?  I&apos;m thinking of starting a #9to5challenge, which would compare our Outlook head-shots, work from home, and finally what we look like at 9 am vs 5 pm (it ain&apos;t pretty folks). Okay, you ready? Let&apos;s go.Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

Schmidt Rants

Today’s episode is all about REAL Schmidt.  Sometimes I get really obsessed with things, and right now I&apos;m all about the documentaries thanks to the Cheer train I got on with the rest of America.  I discuss how it all comes down to 2:15 on the mat, which Navarro cheerleader I am according to buzzfeed, and why Coach Monica is an angel sent from above.  Next I watch an avocado episode of Rotten on Netflix and it turns out I need to start purchasing conflict free avocados.  The golden globes tried to shame us into being vegans, but did they realize people are DYING over avocados?!? Yeah this Schmidt is Crazy. Finally, I watched Screwballs about the performance enhancement drug scandal and how Arod and super famous baseball players were brought down by arguably the dumbest person I’ve ever seen on a documentary.Okay, you ready? Let&apos;s go.Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

Real World Schmidt

It&apos;s episode 15 and she’s back! America’s favorite aunt, @officialauntcin, is here to talk everyone’s favorite TV show, or maybe the epitome of “what’s wrong with America,” the Season 8 premiere of Vanderpump Rules. I also read Demi Moore’s memoir Inside Out, so you don’t have to, and tell you all the best juice in 10 minutes or less instead of a 6 hour audible book – you’re welcome. Finally, I discuss last week’s sweaty Golden Globes and how if I were a celebrity I would rather be anywhere else than being shepherded off the stage by Pierce Bronson’s gangly sons or sitting next to Beyoncé’s wings. Okay, you ready? Let&apos;s go.Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

I'm not crazy (says every crazy person)

Episode 14 will have you asking me "What’s your Netflix password?"  Do you have my Netflix password? Because I changed it today, I’ll probably hear from you by EOD for the new one. Then I talk Mandalorian.  Am I saying that right? Everyone says you must watch, so I watch and I tell you if it’s TOTAL Schmidt or THE Schmidt or maybe 50% Schmidt. Apparently, I need to know nothing about Star Wars to understand this show---we shall see.  Also, I talk how Instagram filters now offer life predictions, guess we don’t need Miss Cleo anymore.  Let&apos;s see what 2020 has in store for me according to Instagram. And finally – Crafty Schmidt.  I’m 35 going on 95 and taking over the needlepointing world. 95% of my accounts I follow are now people stitching by color, but if you are born a crafter you sometimes need to re-find your path, which is what I’m doing in 2020.Okay, you ready? Let&apos;s go.Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

What's your Netflix password?

Today&apos;s episode is all about the most culturally important events of the last decade that shaped our lives, inspired us, and who am I kidding, this is a deep dive into the most scandalous, time wasting, and skeevy stuff of the decade.  On the last day of 2019 and the freaking DECADE -- I discuss my favorite headlines of each year and some of them weren&apos;t even that popular, but they changed my life OKAY? Okay, maybe they didn&apos;t change my life, but they kept me entertained, made me laugh, cry, or consumed me with having to know more.  Okay, you ready? Let&apos;s go.Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

Schmidt of a Decade

"Schmidt Saves Christmas" would be a better Hallmark Christmas movie than "Mistletoe and Menorahs" (a REAL holiday move and spoiler alert -- it was bad). In Episode 12, I talk how I am the ultimate gift giver of all time (and this is why I put so much pressure on others to get me good gifts) and can still save your Christmas, if you haven&apos;t finished shopping. Listen, it&apos;s hard to to get a gift they want, but didn&apos;t tell you about, but are still surprised by.  I also talk Schmidt I&apos;ve been googling, which is a lot of Schmidt, but also gives you a glimpse into this scary mind of mine.  Finally, everyone&apos;s favorite segment "Controversial Schmidt" - I LOVE OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE and I will scream it from the rooftop.  You want the "best steak in the world" according to jayjaycub on TripAdvisor? Then you better go to the Kissimmee Outback location.Okay, you ready? Let&apos;s go.Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

Schmidt Saves Christmas

99% of what you will hear is total schmidt, but I have a feeling you’ll still have a blast. Listen in to hear about my absurd opinions, stories involving my dog named Kitty and my "famous" #auntcin, and deep dives into pop culture and weird news (who doesn't love weird news).You might be thinking, "who is this lady??" Well I'm a 30-something blonde lady who catfishes her coworkers by wearing CC cream and mascara on a daily basis; #goodreads nerd; living the corporate life by day and creative life by night (before 10 PM); lover of all things leopard; never lie to me because I’m #nancydrew; pop culture enthusiast; birthday obsessed; and probably eating cheez-its and watching reality TV right now.

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Sarah Talks Schmidt

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