Off the back of a 4-0 defeat to Manchester United, Ashwood City need a result on the pitch. Meanwhile, a decision by a local magistrate gives them a result off the pitch. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshMatthew Malthouse as Tom BeattieAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryThomas MitchellsJemma RevellLauren HallAdam JarrellMichael LyonsEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Offensive

Episode 184 - Council Culture

As the financial cuts deepen, Ashwood City are barely keeping the league form together at the most important stage of the season. Chief-Executive Jess Tate and Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan finally discuss the fallout from administration.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallMatthew Malthouse as Tom BeattieAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 183 - Hove is where the Heart is

In the grips of a brutal CVA, further cuts are made and this time the coaching staff are targeted. Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall looks to offer a beleaguered Dan Watson all the help he can during a wobble in form as Patrick Nolan continues to distance himself from the crisis.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallMatthew Malthouse as Tom BeattieJoel Emery as Dan WatsonEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 182 - All The Manager's Men

Ashwood City travel to The Emirates Stadium on Easter Weekend. Club Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan informs Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Colin Walsh of his Zoom meeting with the local council. Meanwhile, Administrator Tom Beattie has completed his dreaded 'Black Folder'. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshMatthew Malthouse as Tom BeattieNatalie Green as Elaine WrightChirstopher Swift as Reuben ThomasAdditional Voices:Adam JarrellJoel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 181 - Risen from the Zoom

Ashwood City clash with the local council over who's to blame for the collapse of the iBET stand. Meanwhile, Club Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan makes a momentous call on the club's future. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallMatthew Malthouse as Tom BeattieDarcey Ferguson as Leanne PotterNatalie Green as Elaine WrightAdditional Voices:Adam JarrellJoel EmeryVanessa EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 180 - Uncivil War

Ashwood City Football Club are hit by the news that the fabled iBET Stand has collapsed. The club hierarchy and local council clash over who's to blame. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Dan WatsonAdditional Voices:Thomas MitchellsNatalie GreenNalan BurgessEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 179 - The Stand Before Time

As the football world reacts to the BBC's treatment of Gary Lineker, Ashwood City have a social media issue of their ownPaul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Dan WatsonLuke Stevenson as Gareth McAskillAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryAdam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 178 - Stranger than Fantasy

Stuck in traffic after the second leg of The Champions Fixture against PSG; Ashwood City Chief Executive Jess Tate questions Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan about rumours surrounding the future of the football club.Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryAdam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 177 - The Great Escape

Ashwood City Chief Executive Jess Tate spends her 'day off' visiting both her doctor and an old acquaintance, who may know more about the future of the club than Jess does.Helena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Dan WatsonLauren Ingram as Fiona WeedAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryAdam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 176 - Blind Tate

A day in the life of Ashwood City is interrupted by a protestor, who aims his fury at Club Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryAdam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 175 - Nude Awakening

Liverpool FC are in town as Ashwood CIty play their first home game since the catastrophic transfer window.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshJoel Emery as Dan WatsonAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryAdam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 174 - Live and Let Liverpool

After a brutal transfer window, Sir Patrick Nolan heads to the City of London to seek new money from old friends. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanThomas Mitchells as Simon Napier-FoxAdam Jarrell as Chris WellAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryNalan BurgessJennifer TierneyEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 173 - London Calling

A seismic day in the history of Ashwood City Football Club has arrived as the severe financial crisis, internal disputes, player disharmony and firesale of key team members comes to a head on a tumultuous Deadline Day.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Dan WatsonJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshChristopher Swift as Reuben ThomasAdditional voices byDarcey FergusonEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell and Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 172 - Deadline Day: Part 2

The departure of Brazilian striker Kevin brings about yet more protests at The Credit Master Stadium. Despite a decent run of form in the league, the Ashwood CIty hierarchy find themselves locked in the offices, for their own safety. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Dan WatsonEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 171 - Deadline Day: Part 1

Ashwood City Chief Executive Chris 'Woody' Woodall goes back to his roots on a scouting mission to recruit an up-and-coming player for the January transfer window. All voices by Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 170 - Woody's Roundup

An award-winning, critically acclaimed mockumentary podcast that follows fictional Premier League club Ashwood City FC.'The Thick of it meets Fifa career mode - a must listen for football fans' - The Guardian'Ultra-sharp satire' - GQThis podcast is a serial, begin at Episode 1. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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The Offensive

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