Kris and Kole talk about empathy prosthetics, the commerce of comfort, and unwise thrift. ALSO: The Full Tremaine. Elementary school art glasses. Moving travails. Don’t put the whole story in the headline. Safe alcohol consumption is a myth. The worst lap dance song. How to rig up a “Party” button. CDC warns against line-drying condoms. Period privation. A shitty terrorist ruins a 7-11. The Germans cannot be trusted with weather machines.

Those Damn Ross Kids

Episode 233: The Blood is Lava

Kris and Kole talk about food safety, transformative spaces, and a new level of cat fishing. ALSO: Library Swords. A code red, room temperature milk problem. The problem with Papa. Kole explains “owning the libs”. Swing State of Mind. Public urinals are a scourge. Shopping his soul around.

Episode 232: No Hunger Games, No Hunger Drama

Kris and Kole talk about cramming, restoration, and nights on the town. ALSO: It just says “Here”. Trim in the wild. How I know Dan Marino. Don’t put the whole thing in. Clock restoration. How a pump works. A shame free zone where anything goes. Just started swinging scissors in his feet. Our concert experience. A sad garage tableau. Immortal last words. Bird hormones are the boy’s problem.

Episode 231: There's No Legs in This Thing

Kris and Kole talk about missed opportunities, flawed hagiographies, and big dick energy. ALSO: Missing the Journey concert. The second one is always hardest. Facebook calls the Declaration of Independence racist (and it’s slightly right). Who is the Brat Pack? Fireworks of passive aggression. This man did not earn his middle name. Agnes gets the hell out. Big Dick Energy. Giving up the Saudi con.

Episode 230: F.T.B.D.E.

Kris and Kole talk about repetition, corruption, and dangerous botany. ALSO: Pump Hound. Misunderstanding reincarnation. Hot time, summer in the city. Kris went to see Taylor Swift. Fact hype man. Garrett died. Reddit and MIT taught an AI to be a psychopath. Built-a-Bear giveaway goes bad. Warning: Giant Hogweed will kill you.

Episode 229: Pump Hound

Kris and Kole talk about butt stuff. ALSO: Butt stuff.

Episode 228: Butt Stuff

Kris and Kole talk about texture, invasive dentistry, and urban tombs. ALSO: Pressed goo. A soda faux pas, and the preferred lettuce. Coming on strong. Cashew surprise. Anne Frank’s dirty jokes. A Toys R(ave) Us. Suburb-ex. ISIS didn’t do that.

Episode 227: Sandwich Opportunities

Kris and Kole talk about mementos, identity icons, and outlawed words. ALSO: Turd down for what. Letters from yourself. Keep your keys. Tinker Bell, Taz, Tweety Bird, etc. The alleged tattoo. STDs on the rise. Where did this story take place? Play-Doh Scent (tm). Outlawed Masters phrases. The Next Recession.

Episode 226: Swipe Right, Lose Your Sight

Kris and Kole talk about antiquated search engines, parapsychological phenomena, and botched breakfasts. ALSO: Lycos will suffice. Nothing notable has happened. Cosby Crazies. The Pup Crawl. A balanced view. The Poop Train moves on. The 100th Baboon. I messed up an omelet. Fajita heist. A naked stranger eats Cheetos in your tub, what do you do?

Episode 225: The Second Autumn Always Was

Kris and Kole talk about assistive hygiene, intemperate vermin, and double diamond genealogy. ALSO: Kris creates a sound poem. Dilly Bars and parallelothongs. I don’t miss Law and Order. Things we regret saying. Zombie raccoons take Youngstown. Don’t hold in your sneezes. Kole goes libertarian. Condom-snorting is making comeback. A DNA test forces a reboot.

Episode 224: Parallelothong

Kris and Kole talk about illumination, snack cakes, and unusual births. ALSO: It might not make a difference. Kris’ trip and the very expensive rock. Snack cake kill room. The Missouri Pickle Mystery. The Oregonian katana murder. Coffin birth. Kool Aid Man’s Sermon. Walden Pond is mostly piss now. We’ll drill in Australia since we’re all okay here.

Episode 223: Eeyore Gets a House

Kris and Kole talk about externalities, escalation, and expedition. ALSO: Big enough for a callback. Worried about crass. Externalities and dominoes. Cremation problems. The Great Canoe War. Racing to get to jail. A trip to Hidden Lakes.

Episode 222: So Many Words

Kris and Kole talk about moderation, valuable fluids, and parasites. ALSO: Shirley Temple desires. The middle. Too much news. Every house comes with Encino Man. Deer semen is very valuable. Osama Bin Laden’s entertainment collection. Sources, methods, triangulation, and crazy parasites. The zone defense.

Episode 221: The Zone Defense

Kris and Kole talk about proximity policy, flawed geography, and hostile packaging. ALSO: We tell you what you want. Nothing better. Kris is laying down. It rained in the house. Cash me ousite ha ba da. Girlscout cookies and week depositories. Helicopter disasters. Exclusionary brands. Australia is not a country. What it’s like to learn now. Goose shit and taxes.

Episode 220: Hey Mildred, Are You Ternt?

Kris and Kole talk about delivery logistics, awful queso, and delayed gratification. ALSO: Give ‘im the heater! Scavenger hunt for my packages. A very bad watch. The tubed food market. A comment from our racist president. A campaign against Tide Pods. A long story about getting shot. More Subway. China doesn’t want to take our garbage anymore. Dolphins are delaying gratification.

Episode 219: Swerve Drive on the Road Pop

Those Damn Ross Kids is a conversation between brothers. We discuss the events of today, and how we would have done it differently.

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Those Damn Ross Kids

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