This episode we check out some of the best romantic online dating profiles in Perth! We find flashers out to flash, a romantic guy looking for that special lady to pee on him for money, and about 30 guys trying to organise a public sex romp (only problem is they can't find any girls to go along with it). And if a picture of you smashing a VB can against your head doesn't lure in the lovers, we find a bloke who offers poetry about butt sex to get them keen. Romance lives on in Perth!

True Perth Tales

12 Bad Perth dates

This week we look at some of the dumbest items Perth people put up for sale on sites like Gumtree and eBay, and we challenge our contestants Clinton and Bec (returning from UWA lol and Horrible Hostels) to see if they can guess the asking prices. How much would you pay for a second hand rolodex? What's your maximum bid for a 1979 video casette of "The Littlest Convict" starring Rolf Harris? 

#11 gumtree pls - The stupidest stuff for sale

Aaaand we're back. In episode 10 we chat to local cyclists Shenade and Marty about what it's like getting around Perth on a bike. They ride every day, and apparently there's a lotta loons out there. We talk about angry drivers, clueless riders, and read out the best (aka dumbest) reader comments on cyclist-related news stories in Perth media. Occasional co-host Bec rejoins us to offer some daring cyclist safety solutions involving LEDs. 

#10 Perth cyclists

Tired of seeing local bands playing to empty rooms, muso and producer Peter Renzullo started up the Perth Underground Live Music Appreciation Club to gather interested punters together and get people going to live gigs again. With the big launch coming up on January 11 (see the PULMAC Facebook page), the Scudley Records owner then plans to set up monthly gigs for members to get together. Plus we share a few True Perth Tales about the local music scene: Hear the mystery of what was left in the urinal at the Hydey! www.facebook.com/groups/pulmac/ www.scudleyrecords.com

#9 Perth's Underground Live Music Appreciation Club

Clinton and Bec return to play a new gameshow we invented called "UWA lol"! Contestants are presented with two options: One is the name of a real unit you can take at UWA, the other is just a bunch of random wanky academic sounding words I mashed together. Contestants have to pick which one is real. Could there really be a unit called "Critical Theory: 'isms and 'ologies in Landscape Architecture"? Or "Art After Theory: A History of Theoretical Interventions into Art"? Find out on UWA lol!

#8 UWA lol

This week I chat to Stevie Modern, president of the Humanist Society of WA. Humanism is a rational, "secular, moral alternative to religion and dogmatic creeds". Basically, be nice to other humans even if you don't believe in a god.  This episode we talk about the relevance of humanism in Australia today and discuss atheist "coming out" experiences, Stevie tells us about the religious indoctrination of school kids that's still going on today, and he calls for a more rational, fact-based approach to refugees.  Check them out on Facebook or Meetup under Humanist Society of WA.

#7 Stevie Modern and the Humanists WA

A mini-episode where I open up the floor to my guests Janine, Adon and Bec to see if they have any spooky local tales of their own. Marvel at the mystery of the sinking building, hear the tale of the town's misunderstood malcontent, and for some reason there are like three separate stories of creepy teachers!

#6 Halloween Deleted Scenes

As Halloween nears we delve into the urban legends of Perth. We get to the bottom of rumours about underground dogfighting rings stealing Perth pooches, we talk about the myth of Morley's man-handed hitchhiking granny, we search for Swastikas supposedly hidden in the tilework at the Peninsula Hotel, and examine the myths about hidden Satanic messages at the Perth Belltower. 

#5 Perth Urban Legends

You expect hostels to be cheap and nasty, but if you believe the reviews online the backpackers' in Perth are positively post-apocalyptic. Filthy sheets, bed bugs, "a strange woman who messed herself," and a naked man sitting in his room with the door open using a hairdryer on his legs. Meet these characters and more when you discover Perth hostels are more like "halfway houses" or a "home for the eternally damned". Some of the reviews are so damning we had to bleep the hostel name for fear of slander most vile. Cohosts this episode are seasoned backpacker Bec Trigger, and my brother Clinton Bell, a trained actor reduced to the state of a bum, who'll be doing some dramatic readings of the reviews. He also does all the music for the show, so if you like the sound of it check out his band https://www.facebook.com/nightsignalsband

#4: Horrible hostels with Clinton and Bec

After his old church wouldn't let him become a member because he was gay, Pastor Graham Douglas-Meyer started up his own gay-affirming church in North Perth--Open Arms Fellowship. I ask him how he views all the constant anti-gay sentiment coming from so many religious people, and we also try to figure what's going on with the bizarre quasi-homosexual bullying rituals in the armed forces, private schools and prisons alike. Graham also tells us what he makes of the draconian anti-gay rules in the old testament (more on that in part 2).  His full story's in his book You Shall Walk in the Dark Places. WARNING: This episode contains outdated reference to the grand final (which was impending when we recorded this).

#3: Pastor Graham Douglas-Meyer

I chat with my special guest Kathryn Bell (okay, it's my sister) about being vegan in Perth. We talk bad restaurants, good restaurants and strategies for vegans who don't want bacon in their salad. Kat takes us through the dumbest things that vegans hear every day, and confesses that she'd be happy to go hunting and kill her own dinner. Oh, also: What liquors you can't drink if you're a vegan. Baileys is out :(

#2: Vegan in Perth with Kathryn Bell

Young writer Clare Kenyon tells her story of her descent into psychosis brought on by too many party drugs, ending up with her locked in a Berlin psychiatric ward. We talk about the time she thought she was famous in the midst of psychosis, the state of WA psychiatric facilities (all the boardgames at Alma Street had bits missing from them, among other indignities), her recovery to where she is today, and whether you can still enjoy electronic music without drugs. Her full story's in her book: From a Nightclub to a Straitjacket: "The Story of a Party Girl" and it's available as an e-book from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com.au/From-Nightclub-Straitjacket-Story-Party-ebook/dp/B00KTX6JMG

#1: Clare Kenyon, From a Nightclub to a Straitjacket

True stories from the far reaches of the Swan River Colony, featuring conversations with interesting and unusual characters of Perth.

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True Perth Tales

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