"You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish. I have no responsibility to be like they expect me to be. It’s their mistake, not my failing."– Richard P. FeynmanIn episode 20, Do Your Future Self a Favor, Elaina is joined by entrepreneur, certified professional coach, and author Ryan Stanley in a discussion about the living purposefully and redirecting your energy to become the best version of yourself. All our actions and thoughts take energy, why waste that energy worrying about what someone else thinks about you and the choices and decisions you make regarding your life? It’s your journey, your story, you are the architect. Take back control by living purposefully, unapologetically, and authentically. Be honest and true to yourself and take the road that leads you to living your best life. TranscriptTopics Discussed:What someone thinks of you has nothing to do with youHow practicing gratitude helps reduce stressLife happening for you rather than to youRyan StanleyWebsite|https://www.ryanstanley.com/Receive a complimentary session with book purchase | https://www.ryanstanley.com/be-patient-be-present-be-joyfulFree PDF Version | https://www.ryanstanley.com/free-ebookFacebook | https://www.facebook.com/RMS.Life.Coach/Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/rms_ryanstanley/Twitter | https://twitter.com/RMS_RyanStanleyResources, Connect and SubscribeFind Support | https://copequeens.com/find-support/Listen | https://copequeens.com/episodes/Subscribe | https://plnk.to/copequeensFacebook | https://www.facebook.com/copequeenspodcast/Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/copequeenspodcast/Twitter | https://twitter.com/copequeensBuzzsprout - Let's get your podcast launched! Start for FREEDisclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Cope Queens

Do Your Future Self a Favor with Ryan Stanley

"Race and racism is a reality that so many of us grow up learning to just deal with. But if we ever hope to move past it, it can't just be on people of color to deal with it," she wrote. "It's up to all of us—Black, white, everyone—no matter how well-meaning we think we might be, to do the honest, uncomfortable work of rooting it out."– Michelle ObamaIn episode 19, Racial Trauma, Elaina is joined by energy healer and author Adele Wang and academic scholar Cherice Escobar-Jones in a discussion about the impact and effect of racial trauma. Racial trauma is the result of continuous exposure to racism, racial bias, and discrimination. The stress and anxiety which develops can trigger reactions and responses like posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). When an individual is oppressed, marginalized, and stripped of their human rights, they can reach their breaking point, and their reactions and responses are not going to rational. Indifference and turning a blind eye are just as dangerous. How many more will unjustly lose their lives simply because of the color of their skin?Elaina [00:20:48] My ancestors experienced that, and we were told the stories and shared the experiences from generation to generation, to generation, to generation. Adele [00:23:31] It doesn't just go away, and that's true. It lives in the psyche. Cherice [00:26:07] After time after someone's getting bit, once, twice, three times, four times, five times on the sixth time, they might react maybe a little irrationally because it's just accumulating over time.Adele: [00:38:00] The difference between bigotry and racism, racism has the element of power.Cherice: [00:39:16] We can't deny that the effects of hundreds of years of colonialism and slavery is not somehow still present within our language, within our institutions within all of those spaces.Elaina [00:40:34] When you strip somebody generation after generation, year after year, decade after decade. And you continuously marginalize them, and you continually make them feel less than human. You don't get to control how the reaction comes out.TranscriptAdele WangWebsite| http://www.safehavenhealing.net/Spark Your Feminine Presence | https://adelewang.lpages.co/spark-your-feminine-presence-notify-me/SmarfArtInstagram | https://www.instagram.com/smarf.art/?hl=enShop| https://www.etsy.com/shop/SmarfArt?ref=search_shop_redirectResources, Connect and SubscribeFind Support | https://copequeens.com/find-support/Listen | https://copequeens.com/episodes/Subscribe | https://plnk.to/copequeensFacebook | https://www.facebook.com/copequeenspodcast/Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/copequeenspodcast/Twitter | https://twitter.com/copequeensBuzzsprout - Let's get your podcast launched! Start for FREEDisclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Racial Trauma with Adele and Cherice

“I was actually manic a lot of the times that I would take on workloads, and I would say, ‘Yes, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.’ I was conquering the world, but then it would all come crashing down and I would be more depressed than ever.” — Demi LovatoIn episode 18, Bipolar Disorder, Elaina is joined by comedian and podcaster, Sofia Elkin, and certified health and wellness coach, Saralyn Salisbury-Jones in a discussion about living and thriving with a Bipolar Disorder. There are many misconceptions when it comes to Bipolar Disorder, formerly known as manic depression. Bipolar disorder is a mental impairment that causes unusual shifts in energy, moods, activity levels, and concentration. Some may experience manic episodes, which are often presented as long periods of high energy, loss of sleep due to the reduced need for sleep, and for some, a loss touch of reality.Sofia explains, Bipolar 1 is when you actually have the manic episodes, they look different for everybody. So, you have like a lot of energy and you're not necessarily happy, but you are kind of on top of the world. You feel like you're untouchable.Sofia describes her manic episode as, it looked a lot like just risky behaviors, carelessness. I was hypersexual. I was going to bed around seven, eight in the morning, I wasn't tired. I didn't feel like I needed to sleep. Saralyn shares, Bipolar 2 often seems underdiagnosed because hypomania can present itself as like they're a go-getter. Because even though I was struggling with moods and shifting from highs and lows, all of the psychiatrists I had seen for a while, were like, well, you've never been manic, so it's not a mood disorder.Saralyn describes her lows as, unexpectedly feelings and thoughts of worthlessness, it would go from being very high functioning to not functioning where the idea of taking a shower was overwhelming.TranscriptSofia ElkinFacebook | https://www.facebook.com/sofiaelkincomedy/Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/yourex_ishere/?hl=dePodcast | https://linktr.ee/yourexishereSaralyn Salisbury-JonesInstagram | https://www.instagram.com/saralyn_strong/?hl=enWebsite | https://www.saralynsalisburyjones.com/Blog Post | When I Say I’ve Found Healing I’m Not Saying I’ve Found a Cure. Here’s Why.Resources, Connect and SubscribeFind Support | https://copequeens.com/find-support/Bipolar Disorder | https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Bipolar-DisorderDialectical Behavioral Therapy | https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/dialectical-behavior-therapyListen | https://copequeens.com/episodes/Subscribe | https://plnk.to/copequeensFacebook | https://www.facebook.com/copequeenspodcast/Instagram | 

Bipolar Disorder with Sofia and Saralyn

"My alone feels so good, I'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude."– Warsan ShireIn episode 17, Wine Tears and Jellybeans, Elaina is joined by entrepreneur and vocal coach Katti Powell along with author and Relationship and Dating Coach Ieva Kambarovaite in a discussion about their experiences, challenges, anxieties when it comes to dating in their 40's.Dating at any age is a challenge. As we grow, learn mature, and discover who we are as individuals, one would think that dating and finding someone to connect with would become more comfortable. For some, that is not always the case. Our life experiences and journeys shape our worldview, and often we carry the weight of past experiences into new ones. How do we move beyond these fears and anxieties to find not only ourselves but a life partner?Elaina shares how she is often bombarded with inappropriate messages and requests for sexual favors within the first interaction with someone. Elaina also shares how overwhelming it can become when filtering through the scammers and fake profiles.Elaina said you have so many catfish out there. So many scammers out there. If I get one more person. Who tells me that they are in Syria on a peace mission or they are getting ready to lose their internet and they will, I am going to lose it.Katti shares how she has met some genuinely nice men; however, being recently divorced and adapting to the new style of dating, meaning, dating multiple people at the same time, is not what she anticipated.Katti said, Yeah. Okay, so I was married for 17 years when I, the last time I dated. Dating sites to the best of my knowledge didn't exist. I met some really amazing people. The men, at least that I was talking to in December, were saying, "I'm meeting all kinds of women, and I'm dating all kinds of people all at once." And I was like, huh? What?Ieva said it's very difficult for men as well. I know there was more choice for men, way more choice because you know, women are beautiful and they know they're right angles and all these things, but it's very difficult for guys out there as well.Ieva added, some guys, they like mature older women because they like the quality of the conversation. They like the fact that. A woman really knows herself. TranscriptKatti PowellFacebook | https://www.facebook.com/kattipowellWebsite | https://singwithoutlimits.com/Ieva KambarovaiteInstagram | https://www.instagram.com/ieva.kambWebsite | https://whyamistillsinglebook.com/YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFSlUJxNAw0Resources, Connect and SubscribeFind Support | https://copequeens.com/find-support/Listen | https://copequeens.com/episodes/Subscribe | https://plnk.to/copequeensFacebook | https://www.facebook.com/copequeenspodcast/Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/copequeenspodcast/Twitter | https://twitter.com/copequeensSupport the show (http://paypal.me/copequeens)

Wine Tears and Jellybeans

"Positive feelings come from being honest about yourself and accepting your personality, and physical characteristics, warts and all, and, from belonging to a family that accepts you without question."– Willard ScottIn episode 16, Feel the Feels with Connie Anne Holman, Elaina is joined by a licensed therapist and life coach, Connie Anne Holman, and they discuss how to allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling without judgment and the importance of not suppressing your feelings.They took a deep dive into what it means not to judge your feelings or to label them as good or bad or right or wrong. They discussed how to get to a place of self-acceptance and self-compassion. Connie shares many strategies and insights she has implemented along her journey to get to a place of self-love and self-appreciation.Connie shared her meaning of being a heart-centered coach, there's a lot of things that we use, experience, disappointment, rejection, let downs, heartbreak. Just different things that affect us. And then that, in turn, affects our thoughts and affects our thinking. But I believe that a lot of what we do, a lot of what drives our behavior happens in the heart.Elaina discussed her emotional roller coaster since being quarantined, I have gone through many highs and lows, some that I didn't even anticipate. I feel like I'm not allowed to feel bad or have a negative feeling.Connie shared when you just sit in the feeling when you sit in your sadness when you sit in your disappointment, and you sit in your letdowns, and you let the feeling kind of evolve and explore it you'll find that the feeling will pass way more quickly than you trying to force it to pass.As the conversation evolved, they also discussed the pressure many of us as mothers place on ourselves by comparing ourselves to other mothers. Elaina and Connie explore the pitfalls comparing our "lowlight reel" to someone else's "highlight reel."TranscriptConnie Anne HolmanInstagram | https://www.instagram.com/connieanneholmancoaching/Website | https://www.connieanneholman.com/Work from Home Course Bundle | https://workfromhome.podia.com/bundle/t71hn?coupon=SPECIALResources, Connect and SubscribeFind Support | https://copequeens.com/find-support/Listen | https://copequeens.com/episodes/Subscribe | https://plnk.to/copequeensFacebook | https://www.facebook.com/copequeenspodcast/Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/copequeenspodcast/Twitter | https://twitter.com/copequeensSupport the show (http://paypal.me/copequeens)

Feel the Feels with Connie Anne Holman

"A hope warrior is someone who is always working on themselves so that they can better encourage others, refrain from judgment, keep an open heart, and ultimately spread hope.” – Hope Warrior ProjectBonus Episode, Hope Warrior Project, Elaina interviews Stephanie Martino and Lydia Zuniga, the women behind the Hope Warrior Project. Elaina introduced the Hope Warrior Project in Episode 3, The Strong Black Woman Syndrome. The Hope Warrior Project is a community that helps women identify their strengths, and they create togetherness. They have a fabulous Hope Warrior Academy, where they go through different books, mindfulness activities, and connect it to their lives and learn different strategies of coping with life and being vulnerable.TranscriptResources, Connect, Shop, and SubscribeHope Warrior Project on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/HopeWarriorProject)Find Support (https://copequeens.com/find-support)Shop (https://copequeens.com/shop)Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/copequeenspodcast)Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/copequeenspodcast)Twitter (https://twitter.com/copequeens)Support the show (http://paypal.me/copequeens)

Bonus Episode | Hope Warrior Project

Can I use you as a reference? Can you slide my resume to the higher manager? Can you recommend me? Can you hook me? Have you ever been asked any of these questions? How often have you put your neck online for someone who either did not deserve it or appreciate it? In this episode, we discuss common pitfalls of helping and supporting those who may not deserve it.Transcript

To Help or Not to Help

Have you ever wondered why certain things annoy you? Does someone popping their gum irritate you? How about if someone cracks their knuckles, drinks directly from the carton, or leaves dirty laundry on the floor? If so, have you ever been curious about why certain things bother you? In this episode, we share a few of our pet peeves and discuss what we believe to be the root cause.Transcript

Pet Peeves

We've all heard the sayings that money can't buy you happiness, and that money is the root of all evil. We need money, yes? If money wasn't a factor, what would you do? How would you live? What dreams and goals would you achieve? If money isn't stopping you, then what's getting in your way? In this episode, we share what we would do if money weren't a factor.

What's Stopping You?

Have you ever experienced a microaggression? If you have, how did you handle it? If you feel you have not, how do you know you haven't? Microaggression is a term used for brief and commonplace daily verbal, behavioral, or environmental indignities, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative prejudicial slights and insults toward any group, particularly culturally marginalized groups. In this episode, we discuss various experiences with microaggression and racism and their impact on our worldview.

Back of the Bus

Are you in a healthy relationship? In this episode, we discuss several characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relationships.

Relationship Check

When you look at yourself in the mirror, do you know the person staring back at you? Do you love the person staring back at you? How about, do you accept the person staring back you and all their imperfections? In this episode, we share what it means to love and accept ourselves and explore several relationship pitfalls and dangers when we do not.Transcript

Love and Accept Thy Self

Many of us experience periods of anxiousness or nervousness. For someone who suffers from anxiety, they experience prolonged feelings of worry and anxiousness, which are often related to experiences that we all experience, but there is something within them that does not allow them to work through, overcome, or cope and adapt in the same manner as someone who does not suffer from anxiety. In this episode, we discuss the various types of anxiety disorders and share common statements to avoid saying to someone who suffers from anxiety.Support the show (http://paypal.me/copequeens)

Suck It Up Buttercup

Cope Queens episode eighth Reality Check. This is the final episode in our eight-part series, Black and Depressed, and this episode we discuss the ridicule that many still face whenever they decide to be vulnerable enough to share their mental health issues and experiences. This is our opportunity to normalize mental health issues and begin the conversations and take action to annihilate the stigma that prevents many of us from seeking the help that we truly need.Support the show

Reality Check

Feeling stressed? Have noticed you do things that are bad for you when facing difficult or challenging situations? Well, join the club. This is the seventh episode in our eight-part series, Black and Depressed. In this episode, we will discuss the dangers of common maladaptive coping strategies often used to deal with stressful and unpleasant situations and provide our top five adaptive coping strategies.” Support the show

Dangerous Coping

Did you know that depression, anxiety, and other mental health concerns were color blind? Tune in every Wednesday as Co-hosts Elaina Jones and Tracy Hampton challenge listeners to ANNIHILATE mental health stigmas by sharing authentic experiences, storytelling, interviews, and roundtable discussions about everyday life challenges. During the show, Elaina and Tracy entertain, enlighten, educate, challenge, and motivate listeners to deal with their issues in a positive, healthy manner, and learn how to advocate for themselves and others. The goal is simple; when we connect and share life challenges, we realize we aren't alone. So, come on, and let's cope together! Although Elaina and Tracy are both certified Life Coaches, and Counselors in training in Graduate-level programs, this podcast is no way a replacement mental health treatment. If you have a question or want to learn more visit https://copequeens.com

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Cope Queens

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