 Croncast - 2009-03-30.mp3 Show: #524 Length: 41:24 Size: 38 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes When, when, when, when This was supposed to go out Friday Maggie has been insanely sick What happens when you read all of these Oprah books? It should come with a six pack of Xanax Difficult times? Write a book You need to change your name to Kristina Sending email as Kris Smith People would respond to me as a woman So I had to make it Kristopher Smith Wait, Mr B I have to give a shout out to Carrie, thanks for coming to my show The Mexico Part 3 begins now Betsy, you are at the buffet, go . . . If I had known that they served guacamole breakfast, lunch and dinner Standing at the buffet A woman sidles up next to me "What part of Canada are you from?" I speak like that because I lived in Milwaukee for a few years Where's that? Wisconsin Is that a big city? All the push ups that you do They could throw a rock at it She was wearing the crocs Then I scanned the room and it was covered in crocs That is he face of colonialism Later . . . I'm the only American What is the most expensive shit you got behind this bar? Grand Marnier on the rocks the entire trip Do you want to know how to cook the guacamole? He was like a bull fighter Super hot Fellas watch out for this They will whisk you wife away The Italian says, "You mean this prison" You must leave this compound They will take you to the jungle They get electricity for 2 hours a day It is wonderful Deciding to go deep see fishing How did you get over the shark fear? We were stuck at the front gate How many signs do you need? It was like a road block We were there on a gift certificate I'm thinking that this will be so nice The authentic Mexican experience awaits We get to the place Sure, it would have have been authentic But didn't the charter company name tell you all you needed to know? Captain Rick's It should have Yeah, if it were Captain Ricardo's On the boat with a Canada They start swearing at us in Spanish Turns out I am the only one that knows it I kept my mouth shut Betsy catches Dory (see photo in post) "Chocha Grande" How is the fish doing? Mas muerto They pull it back into the boat Cut up Dory and turned her into chum We had Captain Bicho More protected species were caught Chopped and chum Chocha account is over 11 at this point I'm the bloke, right Don't be a chocha Mr B Tags: Crocs Canadian Tourists The Mexico GrandMarnier 

Croncast Season 01 | Life is Show Prep

Season 21 Ep 24: The Mexico Part 3

 Croncast - 2009-03-25.mp3 Show: #523 Length: 33:08 Size: 30.4 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Introducing our driver, Rueben Pronounced Rue - been You'll understand why shortly We're on the homepage in iTunes podcast store In the parenting category You're the whip cream I am the pie to your whip cream Does that mean we are getting divorced? Rueben has discussing the directions that the Montana girls gave him Nervous like Mom telling me, "Let's go to TJ to buy school supplies" Sterling silver bangles Hurling off into the middle of nowhere The jungle begins flying by Look at that, it's great Is it abandoned? Right, just like central Illinois Look at you, getting all metric Jungle was 20 km away Fine, how about 20 clicks? Betsy gets scared and starts talking The Montana girls want you shut up Actually, it was Erasure Luggage in my lap Moobs are getting damp Rueben rolled up all the windows the moment we got in 4 adult Americans and one Mexican adult Our bodies use more energy, seriously They throw the old road next to the new road You might need a chunk later It'll have the rebar in it right away Betsy asked to see the girls' directions Oh my, God "OK, like this is going to be so great. Take a left I don't know where, crappy town and it has a number 4." Betsy's rendition of this is priceless, you have to listen Around the crappy town, around and around Forty minutes later we're still circling the town Weaponry was at full blaze in plenty of places Security is tight at Goodwill but not like this Rueben speaks three words of English - yes, no and maybe And he doesn't know what either of them mean Don't fly to a foreign country without the address of where you are going If I were on this trip with Jeanie No Mrs. and Mrs. Montana it would have been safe! The highlight of my trip was passing the local airport I think it's called . . . Rueben whips around, "Nooooooooooooooooo" We were 20 clicks from were we supposed to be in the opposite direction He hands the directions to the armed guard We find the joint The girls tip him like $1.50 USD Rueben peels out in reverse We hit our heads on the back window But we arrived in one piece Colonialism is alive and well You can't tell me that you didn't breath a sigh of relief Happy to be alive and I need a burger The next four days became a huge pain in the ass Look at these awful white people and their destruction of paradise While, asking me to rub aloe on my back Tags: Mexico Vacation Dreams Tulum Rueben the montanas colonialism 

Season 21 Ep 23: The Mexico Part 2

 Croncast - 2009-03-23.mp3 Show: #522 Length: 32:12 Size: 29.6 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Back from the Mexico This here would be part 1 of a multi-part series This is where we take you on our vaction with us I think I've been drinking excessively She sweats the daiquiri For those of you caught up, you know that we weren't around last week We were on Betsy's Wheel of Fortune vaction to Mexico Best part - it was free I'll get to the parts where you nearly broke down Props on the plastic plants you bought Excellent investment for returning home Growing up in a silk jungle Dusty cornflower blue carnations These flowers are special They will be here forever At some point you know that your mother-in-law will show up Thank you for admitting that you didn't want to go with me You can't relax for your life Right, I can't do it My biggest concern was the webernets close at hand I had to have wi-fi And your gear One laptop, a netbook, iPhone, Treo, Camera and tons of cables There you are a big nerd That's just the way that it was I don't want to take him on a vacation What happens if you don't have them and need them? Getting on Facebook drunk is a bad idea They have an international speaking doctor on staff Mayan vs Spanish vs English He had watched 6 seasons of ER The Swedish Slenders came up with Continental airplane designs Hulking massive dude in the cramped seat typing on a toy computer The women sitting behind you Mr B inspired them They had their own "Baby Daddy Con '09" Loose women? Is that what you are trying to say The entire flight "My Baby Daddy..." the entire trip The way they talked about them you would expect their baby daddies to be titans of industry Best job I ever had was working at the shrimp hut Needless to say that they didn't have any kids with them Was excited she got to run cash register Maybe in 2010 Baby Daddy Con '10 will be on your next flight Keynote speaker will address "fertility in tough times" If Jeanie were here We would have started drinking and laughed at the girls The best in flight entertainment I am fixated on the Mayan the thing It's a cultural thing Continental bathrooms in the terminals, good god I needed a ladder to get down to the urnial to pee Not on the plane, baby They were out to make you out to feel like 7'5 Continental "Making you feel like a big man." Mexican customs Betsy comes to a complete stop and follows directions Abiding by the rules while no one else is Move it, chocha Chocha is now my new middle name Why didn't we plan for a ride to resort? Jumping on the newbies Look, fat people on spring break Kris gets into protection mode We roll outside to get on your Grey Line minibus Only two people heading in our direction The girls from Montana We're out there chatting for an hour as we wait They pull up in a baja raced VW Jetta Us and the girls pile in The driver waits outside reading the directions the girls gave him Twenty minutes later he gets back in the car Little did we know what was written on that paper If they had given to me, I would have kicked them to the curb Find out what was on that paper on Wednesday Tags: Mexican Vacation Dreams Tulum Baby Daddy Con daiquiri mix chocha 

Season 21 Ep 22: The Mexico Part 1

 Croncast - 2009-03-13.mp3 Show: #521 Length: 30:57 Size: 28.2 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Here we are March 13th, 2009 Yep, I said it iTunes has a new fancy feature Still us reviews "Betsy's good...Kris is better" The studio space, manpit remodel has helped my mental state What are you reaching for? Betsy is wearing a hoody Paper in front pocket My marsupial wife Doggy DNA test results have arrived I wish you get down with the fact that Herc is a porn star My fauxberman is . . . Want to find out? We get into at 1:50 into the show He's 25% nothing? WTF? how much did you pay for this Finding out what composes a vajayjay slayer His doberman shining American terrier? uh no Picking him up from the rescue I expected as everyone else did he would be full grown dobie The Amex Full Panel Mixed Breed Analysis says . . . Well, my emotions are getting the best of me No more pitbull in sweater photos please Betsy's new show is rocking like crazy Elliot's teacher is sitting front row Oh, baby You're like a stress bunny Sure when you were baked You have to check out Betsy's facebook profile See her college shots that Jeanie uploaded Do you have a trust fund too? Tags: dog dna test Amex Panel Mixed Breed Analysis fauxberman trustafarian 

Season 21 Ep 21: Doggy DNA Test, Marsupial Wife, Trustafarians

 Croncast - 2009-03-11.mp3 Show: #520 Length: 30:30 Size: 28.0 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Traveling with Grammie's carry on Boarding the dogs Mexico anxiety is coming home to roost Paper dog collars Hercy vajajay slayer TSA was just messing with me It wasn't a vacation Did you have the kids? Did you drink? Yes and yes Then it was a vacation Tags: peecol kidrobot mexico anxiety paper collars grandma luggage 

Season 21 Ep 20: Paper Collars, Carry On, Mexico Anxiety

 Croncast - 2009-03-06.mp3 Show: #519 Length: 30:28 Size: 28.0 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Betsy's opening night went of without a hitch! Every Thursday night at The Comedy Shrine, Naperville Using Kris as a prop during the show How is that not like the rest of my life? Big changes in the Smith house . . . again And when isn't it big changes, Kris? Always, Croncast moments Update: Missed the Evo Terra note. Sharing is truly caring as even as @evo_terra gets his toes did. Sorry we missed this one, buddy! Tags: Comedy Shrine Laugh Time Betsy Smith croncast moments 

Season 21 Ep 19: Comedy Shrine, Tiny orbit, Keeping it Croncast

 Croncast - 2009-03-02.mp3 Show: #518 Length: 29:43 Size: 25.2 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes The comments show Been a long time since we have done one of these Check out Matt's rider for Betsy That's it on show notes Tags: Blackberry Verizon comments Matt Snodgrass 

Season 21 Ep 18: The comments episode

 Croncast - 2009-02-27.mp3 Show: #517 Length: 27:26 Size: 25.2 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Get it on Leave us some comments here or reviews in iTunes Not really vicious But spousal hate Funny on many levels A paid gig for Betsy Will you be on IMDB? I don't know what you're talking about March every Thursday Five other chicks all under me Sounds like my kind of life It's all coming together Adam Carolla is now on the podcasting Maybe we need to hire him Six women under me I want to write that book Re-organized the basement I had to get it on Needed to change up my space This winter is killing me emotionally Short shorn polyester rug It's 85 colors and shades of testosterone Been stuck down here working for so long I got a bit claustrophobic Proud you cleaned up Making space I was afraid to touch your desk Now I can gesticulate freely It's like we're single again Right from your mother's clutches to mine You would be perfectly happy at public storage Don't ship Grandma's meds via FedEx So she can fly home stoned Right, like God intended Sherlock in Mumbai Tags: Adam Carolla Podcast FedEx mule gesticulate freely Sherlock in Mumbai 

Season 21 Ep 17: Fly home stoned, Polyester rugs, Gesticulate freely

 Croncast - 2009-02-25.mp3 Show: #516 Length: 29:42 Size: 26.7 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Way short on show notes Been working all day Just found time now to put this out One of your funniest shows Tags: Riviera Maya Mexico Vacation Facebook friends the earth 

Season 21 Ep 16: Passport Time, Making Waves, Legitimacy

 Croncast - 2009-02-23.mp3 Show: #515 Length: 27:41 Size: 25.4 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Hope everyone had a great weekend This show we get down with our lapses in mondey diet Fiscal responsibility never sounded so bad Like, "never yell at the pit boss," for instance Tags: pit boss comedy shrine no cutsies fiscal responsibility 

Season 21 Ep 15: Standing, No Cutsies, Betsy's Big Show

 Croncast - 2009-02-20.mp3 Show: #514 Length: 26:43 Size: 24.6 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Missed the Wednesday show Besty's been sick Must be the path Never buy rat poison, Gatorade and get a passport photo at same time It's no just my paranoia, I was followed home by a black mercedes Sure, Kris, they sent the SHE Squad after you Right after they finished shooting a show on Lifetime Bret Michaels mouth Yes, Betsy, the dogs mouth is cleaner and he eats his own poop Tags: Lifetime SHE Squad rat poison black mercedes Bret Michaels 

Season 21 Ep 14: Rat Poison, SHE Squad, Followed Home

 Croncast - 2009-02-16.mp3 Show: #513 Length: 22:57 Size: 21.1 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes This show brought to you by PodioBooks.com Gingerly I speak as Betsy does withdraw I had a dream about her using the patches as band aids Nicotine burn The smoking cessation has begun I've got the kids show notes are short You listen, you will know. Tags: smoking cessation nicotine patch middle finger missing meds 

Season 21 Ep 13: That Episode, Get the Patch, Expo Cubes

 Croncast - 2009-02-13.mp3 Show: #512 Length: 24:13 Size: 22.3 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes This show brought to you by Affordable Promotions I won't say the date A bit triscadecaphobic are we? As usual I know how this goes It's a big business day The cyclical nature of our moon phases matched with a Friday the ____ Happy Valentines Day Mr B I'm going to buy you a gross of coffee mugs with my face on them Great, I could sell them at Starbucks or a quarter WachterBach haul Sounds like a Worcester sauce Pfaltzgraff and a fancy brand called Kimberly-Clark Getting the freezer "I remember that like it was yesterday" That makes you old The recall feature to tell the stories properly Hercules came to me while I was sleeping The stories that people tell about their rescue animals What is going on with Facebook? Everyone is showing up All of your past infested lovers I can see my friend that is now on a mental sabbatical Tags: mental sabbatical moon phases triscadecaphobic wachterbach 

Season 21 Ep 12: Triscadecaphobic, Mental Sabbatical, Rescue Animals

 Croncast - 2009-02-11.mp3 Show: #511 Length: 33:56 Size: 31.2 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes This show brought to you by Affordable Promotions Pick a post, any post to leave a comment You can leave a comment for our 2012 shows It's a whole new internet that I developed on my own Valentine's day is 3 days away Buy you love an "I love you baby USB drive" You gave me the best gift ever Mr B for Valentines Day Conversion van jokes search this site for John Elway I read a thread Ping me when you're ready So you're reading this thread about CarMax Supposedly they pay close to Kelly Blue Book for car Saved by a bucket of chicken Selling a car privately Was much to worry about The slow drive-by in the Ford Explorer It's the same person I've been to that garage sale The same Velma That would be Vonda CarMax gives you an appraisal So we go for it The Volvo will be sold Picking it up after detail The car knew The dash lit up with warnings 30 minutes later all good We decide to get both cars appraised Well, Kris' gift? The photo above says it all Trunk full of auto parts and a mechanic strapped to bumper But we still did something that Dave Ramsey would frown on Hit up the casino last week It felt really good to be really bad . . . on a budget What is so hot to ladies about a man that plays the tables? No oxygen tank Tags: Jaguar CarMax appraisal Kelly Blue Book Dave Ramsey 

Season 21 Ep 11: The Kitty's Gone, CarMax Sale, Kelly Blue Book

 Croncast - 2009-02-09.mp3 Show: #510 Length: 25:05 Size: 23.1 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes This show brought to you by Affordable Promotions The show notes be short Jorge asks all night long where the 5'5 lady is She's 100 years old She gives me injections of insulin Twater Do you mean water? Twater OK Chingtao Following Betsy's car Getting smoke and coffee breath 25ft behind Tags: coffee breath Twater chinese joint insulin injections 

Season 21 Ep 10: Coffee Breath, 100 years old, Chingtao

Kris starts the podcast by himself then realizes the incredible talent that lies in his knocked up wife Betsy. Betsy, a star in the making, has a number of useful life tips including picking your baby name from the obituary page, why you shouldn't shave a dog named Muffin and what it is like to have a squirrel wrapped around your rib cage for 9 months.

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Croncast Season 01 | Life is Show Prep

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