 Croncast - 2009-01-26.mp3 Show: #505 Length: 22:00 Size: 20.2 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes This show brought to you by Podiobooks.com Hair plugs for your dog He'll always look like a puppy Flint for sparking doberman jaws A grill for my dog with diamonds Add some flint too for sparks That would be hot Burglars like shiny stuff Made the water park trek Long way to Wisconsin birthday part Don't kiss my kids Or lick your face Bandanas in the pool Tags: water park doberman jaws sparking teeth Wisconsin birthday bandana 

Croncast Season 20 | Life is Show Prep

Season 21 Ep 05: Making Waves, Bandanas in the Pool, Dog Grill

 Croncast - 2009-01-21.mp3 Show: #504 Length: 24:07 Size: 22.1 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes This show brought to you by Podiobooks.com Of those last week and yore Kris, I've noticed that you've gotten chilly today My body is cuddling itself trying to keep warm I turned off the heat to try to force you out of the house The cold isn't bothering me So this was part of your master plan A cocoon of The North Face goodness All this little spoiled babies Kids why don't you go see your dad Shivering and grumping I eat like I'm a seal Get out, see some people Skinny folks listen up The chubby friend gets to make the salad jokes, Not you The fat jokes are for me Fattitudes about the chunky Of course they're going to order the fries When I lost weight I felt like a spy Listening to people talk about the people It's not blubber, it's a 42 in waist The size I come is thick I'm like a cylinder You could benefit from some manternity clothes My tummy isn't that protrusive With the beard I wouldn't be a venereal stimulate any longer Your mom probably called you that I caught from my Buick Someone was eating donuts in my car again It's a medical term Life Plan '09 Credit cards are all paid off Tags: the north face venereal stimulant manternity clothes life plan 

Season 21 Ep 04: Shivering and Grumping, Venereal Stimulant, Life Plan

 Croncast - 2009-01-19.mp3 Show: #502 Length: 35:56 Size: 33.0mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes This show brought to you by Podiobooks.com Me and the man are calling it a guys night . . . no show notes None really needed because Besty is all Obama and I play devil's advocate I'll be sleeping in the shed Tags: Obama collector coins tiger stripes obama eve 

Season 21 Ep 03: Obama Eve, Tigers and Stripes, Funding Love

 Croncast - 2009-01-14.mp3 Show: #502 Length: 35:56 Size: 33.0mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes This show brought to you by Podiobooks.com Is that why you are wearing what you are wearing? You got me this Right, from the Greek Orthodox garage sale From hefty to hot Not hot in my heft? These are some things we need to discuss I checked out this cardigan Then I brought it home to you Then you put it on That was four months ago You haven't taken it off since It's my man cardigan I always wear my gear My wardrobe is devolving You are not hairy enough to pull off the look I know that i don't have enough hair This shirt comes in with built in boobies A flannel bra in my case might work Jammy bras The people want to hear about Oprah Sure they do You never know who could pop by Oprah's studio I could get a Kindle We drive to Harpo Studios Based on Grammy's address advice It's gonna cost to park here Too much snow this year Everyone's gone back to the old country It's 4:30 a.m. Where's Harpo Studios? Huh? Turns out we were 10 blocks off Just look for the 50-foot tall flashing Oprah statue I thought it was on south Michigan It's far away from where you are They don't put up with anything The Oprah rules Handheld facial scanners They make sure you can't get in again Drama just getting there The warm up chick shows up She's lame I could have killed it So I got the opporutnity to speak It was my shot to get my mom on the show I love this I made them go wild in warm up They brought me a boom mic Held by a girl named Boom Mic 4 minutes to show This woman in the front row starts puking Oprah went all diva after her first segment Oprah, are you going to let your hormones be the excuse not to lose weight this year? Damn! That reminds of me of my trip last month The one to Drew Peterson's cul de sac Stuck in a snow drift Feeling dirty Why would you stalk a serial killer? You are so stupid sometimes, Kris What? You would have went with me if you knew No Well, I wouldn't have gotten stuck Tags: Kindle Oprah show Harpo Studios Drew Peterson flannel bra Handheld facial scanner 

Season 21 Ep 02: Africa for the Weekend, Oprah taping, Cardigans and Plaid

 Croncast - 2009-01-12.mp3 Show: #501 Length: 29:44 Size: 27.3mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Surprise! It's good to be back! Tags: iphone 8gb lennox plates fabulosity russian breadcrumbs bill collector Harpo 

Season 21 Ep 01: We're Back, Shaped Like Chickens, The Russian

 Croncast - 2008-06-18.mp3 Show: #500 Length: 29:13 Size: 20.1mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Last time I have to listen to this! You know you like my voice, Baby I am surprised you are not crying It's like a Hallmark Holiday I just wanted to make sure we hit 500 shows Back in the day with the old gear Doesn't it seem like you are creating more work? Not really Transitioning into something new The new show is "Life in the Can" You can get the new shows at www.lifeinthecan.com Three days a week still and a weekly best of the three shows The first show will be released Thursday June 27th, 2008 We're excited about the new show It would be rad if you and I could work together Getting paid to do the shows would be great I went to Jeanie's house last night Cracking open the hand carved lesbian door No crumpled up High Life cans The Eden like backdrop Deer walked right up She had deer prints on her roof Training ground Santa's deer Getting them presents for the house Populating her yard with beasts Show up and build an Arc too Betsy "Noah" Smith I get wait to Zeus out there You had a part of your E Hollywood True Story The Improv dinner theater audition I purposely didn't tell you this, Kris What? Where the auditions were being held Ok Where was it? At Culver's Oh, Baby Did you get a milkshake afterward? Your first audition was at a fast food restaurant It proves you want it It's embarrassing but it does prove you want it I'm proud of you Most people wouldn't have gone What's more uncomfortable than going to open mic night? Listening to open mic night stories We have no context for this How did it make you feel? Maybe she is a biker Going out on a high note Thanks to everyone for throwing in their support for the show In the effort to Keep the Archive Alive That would be funny No it's not Thanks for listening to everyone Whether it has been 500 or 12 shows, thank you We've had a great time doing the show The new show is, Life in the Can - www.lifeinthecan.com You just can't end it Mr B! Can you! Keeping you happy three days a week with a bonus Thank you for letting us entertain you. Tags: iPhone Life in the Can LitC High Life Hallmark Holliday 

Season 20 Ep 25: The Audition, What's Next, Life in the Can

 Croncast - 2008-06-16.mp3 Show: #499 Length: 22:52 Size: 15.7mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Keep the Archive Alive goes on $25 of support gets you 2 DVD's with the full archive mailed to your door Drop that Archive Support at the site in any one of the banners It is all about the Interwaves The photo montage of the father's day trip are up Look in the blog for the story Soften up the crow's feet Geez, that bag, what is she 33? I don't know if Rock of Love is comparative to competitive improv dinner theater The afternoon jamboree Much like licking a toilet "Cousin Kris!" The first Casey's we stop at Hey, I know you No, I didn't know her name instantly Hoping for it fire into my brain Turns out to be cousin X She's of the normal branch But the odds of that Not that great Running into someone buying smokes I just don't want to get there I know, Betsy, you were driving 45 in a 75 Never thought we would make it Creeping ever closer that sucking vortex where you grew up It is an area of decay Dilapidated nothingness If you were a pizza deliver guy you would deliver to houses with siding The rest are wrapped in Tyvek It looks like depression We tried the town route Elliot is asking why it is abandoned Yelling why doesn't it look like home Two taglines "For Rent" "Rent to Own" You wouldn't let me take the best photo It was the award winning shot It was beautiful The transient neighbor In a wife beater, smoking a cigarrete, talking on his phone in a NASCAR painters cap And . . . And . . . his white wolf dog on the steps Nothing is level there I fell down 77 times Growing oriental poppies Couldn't believe it Save me from this And you walked away Everyone walked away to leave me there The scary compound The old ass car wasn't as bad Always had the perspective that there was someplace else I needed to be Tags: white wolf chevrolet graveyard interwaves abandoned small town 

Season 20 Ep 24: Cousin Kris, Painters Cap, Nothing Is Level

 Croncast - 2008-06-13.mp3 Show: #498 Length: 25:41 Size: 17.6mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Keep the Archive Alive Suport - Send your's today! Thanks to Jen Stibi for Keeping the Archive Alive We Jen upheaved and happy at work Here's a podcast hug for you You can't miss the banner It's another Friday the 13th show I wouldn't get out of this set of shows without it Many, many things are going wrong today How can you be freaked out about today? Yesterday should have done it for you Glad to be getting to the expert level I didn't say it like that Oh, really Well, I don't know Let me ask Betsy That should be my motto The common sense psychic He told you it was Father's Day this weekend Kris is happy in his squirrel nest downstairs Keeping it as a secret Having a surprise party Betsy's Blue Mountain Alerts I knew we were being invited to a jamboree Waldorf salad vs. apple salad Some might say they are the same Like the hotel? They wouldn't think hotel I gotta be nice You can do that, you know Improv Not sure you can pull it off Raised in a hamster cage Not sure the kids can pull it off Elliot might not be able to get passed grams smoking in the backyard Don't get uppity, you're ignorant It's pronounced "ig-nernt" You shouldn't talk about that What is your practice face? You are a sad, sad human being Making a new dessert - cotton candy salad Did you try that new spicy chicken sandwich at Wednesday? Diet and the correlation between behavior Doctors can't fully help you Why? They have businesses to run It is the truth They are just people who need jobs He'll eat it, it has apples in it Tags: apple salad common sense cotton candy salad squirrel nest 

Season 20 Ep 23: Cotton Candy Salad, Keep the Archive Alive

 Croncast - 2008-06-11.mp3 Show: #497 Length: 29:51 Size: 20.5 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes What was that? Keep the Archive Alive? Yes, it was Support future listeners and the new show by sending support How? The banner above Let's keep it trucking along by supporting the past That is, the past, for the future Tags: show name sad portraits grandma's glamour hard and shiny 

Season 20 Ep 22: Sunny World, Community Improv, Archive Alive

 Croncast - 2008-06-09.mp3 Show: #496 Length: 33:11 Size: 22.8 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Nothing on the show notes Dispense a bit on the new format and show Keep it real people Enjoy that intro music! Tags: apple iphone doberman foreclosure pets old intro grass roof 

Season 20 Ep 21: Foreclosure Goat, What's Next, Grass Roof

 Croncast - 2008-06-06.mp3 Show: #495 Length: 30:25 Size: 20.9 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Oh, the 2008 Comments on the photos I'm a what? You're a good amateur photo taker, Bears I never made it to the sweetest Goodwill in the world When was that? San Francisco, it just wasn't meant to be Look at you all up on the Oprah stuff I got my eye on those celebrities I knew today was going to be a great day Because the Lutherans were having a sale Garage Sales are euphemisms for "Party on the Driveway" You were benevolent enough to babysit It is either a ghost or an alien in front of me You should be so lucky Space Ghost! You can convince me of anything I got to the sale kind of late The guy from the furniture tent comes out an yells That we can hop into a new line that is shorter I was torn They can have stuff in multiple questions I think you will reach a point, your peak of sales skills We should freeze dry you at that point Then revive you in the future when the dollar is strong It will be like a time machine Betsy, you bring it The dollar is still strong with the Lutherans Double check the luggage later I stand in line to wait for the dishes I need my fine china fix in their housewares sections I brought bags and I have adrenaline flowing in my limbs Oh, look, Christopher Stewart This is when I started to look like a nut Started? Slow shuffling old posse arrived Those match my dishes I love those Are you going to buy those? I am now just to spite you You wasted my time with your story They're rookies baby You are con-garagies They send the 12 year old anemic boy to help me carry stuff She's now a professional tic She went and bought speakers from Farm and Fleet I love it, speakers from Farm and Fleet I am sure you are related to people that duck taped their heads That is the truth Duck taping down his pants Especially when fired up the chainsaw The tape suit Class issues really stand in your way Mr. B "Transvestite's getaway car ran over good Samaritan's foot" Words make the world magnificent Tags: Space Ghost Farm and Fleet speakers Lutheran sale Naperville 

Season 20 Ep 20: Photos, Old Shuffling Posse, Professional Tic

 Croncast - 2008-06-04.mp3 Show: #494 Length: 41:59 Size: 28.8 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes We're back for part two of San Francisco The pre pre-school baby is in a kissing phase She kissed a diseased baby Then she kissed me and now I am infected Other than daddy just do I can blame it on her cuz I got the documentation Her encrusted nostril in photos I could track back the vector of my illness Yes, you are the carriers Listen to Croncast, "They argue with one another in their basement" We rank with NPR shows in the post How are we different than any other shows? Funnier Let the woman talk No love for this man I didn't get a party when I was there Heading to the meetup at House of Shields What if no one shows up? People were bound to show up Four people showed up I am so glad that I disappointed you in a positive way David, Sam, Russ and Katherine The Meetup: Left to Right: Russ, Sam, Katherine (in back), David, Betsy (in blue), Jeanie David has been listening for a long time A very long time He was in college, birthday, marriage to attorney Look back at things that have happened while we have been doing the show Schlomo gave us the space It was dark, with a kicked over chair That is HoS Russ got a pre-smoking ban chair with an ashtray built into it This is where we made the mistake We started drinking right away, heavily Jeanie kept up with me drink for drink Mind you she is one third my size We left the meetup to go dancing More drinks Then Jeanie starts dancing with a bearded Marylin Monroe Having a great time and we stiffed them on the cab Just drunk bitches we were We gotta get to sleep We have things to do the next day We surface at 10 am Jeanie didn't get out of bed till 3 I see a pattern with your Jeanie vacations Remember Chef Jeff? Back in my skinny days Now I'm chubby There's a food shortage I'm good for 8 weeks At 8pm Mrs. and Mrs Smith are going to hop on a romantic cruise They should have named it, "The Good Ship Jagermeister" A little romantic music for you If I tried to do that with my friends Evan or Mike So the next day we rent a car And we end up dumped in a pile of homeless people They're like day of the dead zombies Here comes the scariest wican beast i have ever seen in my life This weather beaten hag pops up in the window Shit happens, some people aren't what you expect Are we on the road to Guerneville? You can't do that with a kind vegan sister A big coin receptacle "I'm saving up to clone my cat, donations welcome" Tags: San Francisco Guerneville Betsy Smith Jeanie Bowen meetup 

Season 20 Ep 19: San Francisco Part 2, The Meetup

 Croncast - 2008-05-28.mp3 Show: #493 Length: 28:21 Size: 19.5 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Good grief we are back Thanks to Betsy for showing back up You come back from San Francisco wearing my clothes Up sidles a Wrangler wearing Milwaukee chick She's checking me out Of course she is "So what are you doing in San Francisco?" "I'm here with my friend." "You don't have to call her your friend anymore." The spandex blend is alive and well You can look at Iowa from behind and know it's Iowa The smell of Dubuque jumps off The hills and the highway I drive better than those taxi drivers Don't look forward You check carry on bags? Yes, need to keep her creams and powders The vacation schedule The romantic cruise We just wanted crab The Russians followed me from Goodwill Our waiter wanted to argue Today, today it is my first day Crab comes with nothing? No one comes between Jeanie and her side salad Dungeness crab is a mud spider She called me a hot mess in Cantonese We end up at a tea shop in China town White hippie chick running it In sweeps hippie number one She's totally a trust fund baby Character after character after character You can make tea from anything Why didn't you stop and ask a homeless person? I didn't realize you were green with dots . . . what the hell do you have? Mr B, this is my town though I knew it once I stepped off the plane Tags: San Francisco Tea House dungeness crab wrangler pants 

Season 20 Ep 18: You know, you don't have to call her your friend anymore.

 Croncast - 2008-05-19.mp3 Show: #492 Length: 17.5 Size: 25:32 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two! Short show notes Sorry for the no show on Friday Betsy scores at a Mc Mansion Well, I'm not sure the lamp above is a score, but . . . Gucci the schnorgie (Schnauzer and Corgi cross) Betsy and Jeanie in San Francisco starting tomorrow Hang with them on Wednesday, see the link about for House of Shields get together Tags: Mc Mansion schnorgie rottlador san francisco 

Season 20 Ep 17: The Mc Mansion Haul, Rottlador, Schnorgie

 Croncast - 2008-05-14.mp3 Show: #491 Length: 19.7 Size: 28:40 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two! Betsy "Classified Ads" Smith That is your new name You're like silly putty Let me see your palm I guarantee that their is an ad transfered to it Did I see a Happy Mother's Day Classified ad? Nope Did I sleep on a floor for you? Mr B I am going to kick your ass I don't want to hit golf balls Then I win by default You are very competitive My brilliant delightful wife made it rain golf balls I thought it would be like a coffee machine I wanted a cute paper basket with a handle The second of the idiots is now here They should put up a sign There was a sign I am sure Based on how you played it should be bright pink You are so full of crap I couldn't put my arms around you Resting in your schwetty palms A boy at the disco You missed the ball completely Then I got it dialed in I was the winner no doubt The driving range isn't on my to do list If you had one we would have been doing the next I am a bald man, I don't need to be sleeping on carpet The divets on my head were too much I won't make you sleep on the floor Call you Betsy "Lemon Juice" Smith This is my super bowl weekend Where is the sale this weekend? Bears, 23 consorted sub divisions all at once They have a consortium of sub divisions? Yes Betsy now reads the classifieds Leaving your boxes on the driveway Somebody is going to steal them UPS picked them up Are you sure? What are the rules? You show up first and the item is your's They might share a bag Gardetto's You have done this to her Bird Lady I am going to get you I am going to walk around with Tags: silly putty classified ads sub division consortium 

Season 20 Ep 16: Sellers Hate Hoarders, not the Game, Golf Stance

The Final Season! Enjoy - Betsy auditions for a real role...the audition is at Culver's. Kris tells the tales of his transient neighbors of yesteryear.

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Croncast Season 20 | Life is Show Prep

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