We get looped into a TIMELESS LOVE (2019) and forget our kids to: Find out what your mom's coffin would be like! THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE  Flexing some podcast muscles ... Embarrassing personal life statement ... Accidentally watching Candace Cameron movies ... Spousal and child loss is upsetting ... Maudlin/Frothy knob ... Effective sadness ... Convoluted production history ... "Warning: Real life contains tragedy" ... A Hallmark tease diving into weird contradiction ... Break: "Miss You Most (At Christmastime)," by Mariah Carey PART TWO Cast rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Daniel Jones analogy ... Organic chemistry ... Lit like Romper Room ... Uncannily defamiliarizing establishing footage ... Leipzig and Denver, Vermont ... Megan's mega-nihilist dad ... Hallmark's Ringu ... A lot of trauma and raw grief ... Jason Dorhing and The Stars Hollow Man ... Bad Hallmark movie, sabotagingly good indie movie ... This movie's too much like the day job ... Too interesting for the Hallmark space ... "It's 10 a.m., and I don't care where my kids are" ... Going back in time to become a bitcoin person ... No other aspect of time travel matters ... "Time did it" ...  Break: "Missing You," by John Waite PART THREE Excellence is what we do ... Spot the Angel: An angel would have helped ... Where's my angel? ... Please stay on the line! ... Satan's therapist and invisible women's pain ... The Jacob's Ladder cosmos ... Eat Your Heart Out: Load-bearing French onion soup; discovering parsley; "Famous Alfredo"; sewer milk, the kind in a can; burned pancakes; double-creamer hot chocolate; unintelligible empanada truck ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Episode 24, "Stargazeboing at the Time Comet"; Levels of hallucinatory delusion; abundant brain trauma; Episode 67, "We Named the Dog Boyfriend"; Candace Cameron as The Unhip Rufus; Utah, we're comin' for ya ...  Break: "I'm Not Missing You," by Ebba Bergendahl PART FOUR Overdetermined: The opening coffin speech is peak Wine Clown; savage dad inhumanity ... The loud-talking culturally left-coast opinionated woman ... Crossover: Jacob's Ladder; The Forgotten; The Family Man; the namedrop segment; Looper ... The loop doesn't close, Dog ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: A big dang no ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Natalie, peak Wine Clown, either oblivious or meta-cognizant ... Windy Johnny's Hot Dogs ... "I forgot to be a person," a good line ... Who's the Real Villain: Work coma-fired me; the misogyny of her medical care; Heisenberg ... Title/Sequel: A deceptive/bewildering pun; a true title would be unsettling; Phantom Children; Overtimeless Love ... Rating: 2.5 ... Thank you for trying ... Slapstick terrible direction for Rachel Skarsten ... Asking too much of your last line of defense ... You're making a Rom-Som ... Hey, kid, I'm a mourner! ...  Break: "Miss You," by Etta James  PART FIVE  The Leftovers: The Hallmark/50 Shades overlap universe ... The Mobius of horny-oaf between Hallmark and 50 Shades ... Kate and Pretty Little Liars ... Mom sacrificed Megan for delivery fees ... Misuse of trauma/froth ... The IMDBeat: Bro/Bra/Breh; Candlelight Entertainment; filler flix from down at the Brough Factory; Colt McCoy; no one needs to fall off a cliff; Christmas Project 2; Corbin Bernsen; Brian Bosworth; Love in Aruba, but Stalked in Paradise ... Creamy noods for your ready alfredo ... Stussy ... Merry Christmas! All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "Utah Saints - Something Good (Dance Remix Instrumental)" by CutVocals.

Dave and Jeb Aren't Mean

108 - The Wine Clown and the Disappearing Children

We FOLLOW OUR HEART (2020) to Mountain View, Arkansas and: It's good to not be entertained ...  THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE  We're back! We're back! ... Workin' pieless before vacation ... Is this a mystery? ... Malick-inflected TV Amish ... Enough that Pie Would Remark On It ... Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Staggering failure, lushly plotless ... Trip Report: Mountain View, Arkansas ... The Amish will come, Ray ...  Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART TWO This good movie isn't good ... Somber, but made with care ... Not "star-driven" ... Logical Amish Brigadoon ... Identifiably a movie, yet still not a movie ... Otherizing the Amish ... Hallmark calling its own bluff ... Mutual belief-system abandonment ... That's not Pennsylvania Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART THREE Spot the Angel: No ... Jeb's Amish dental obsession ... Eat Your Heart Out: Fried chicken, potato dumplings, (overcooked) green beans, wasted portions, spicy shakshuka, full English breakfast, brittle dry bacon, scrambled nubs, fondness for pies ... Serious pie is funny ... Platooning pie ... Forbidden seasonings ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Universal TV producer boyfriend; fleeing Garbage Store suspect; location shoots from meteorologists from Episode 93 ... No title effort ... Overdetermined: Talking like Libertarian Skeletor; savage sister burns in a cooking scene; a relentless volte-facing ending ... Choosing a world without family ... Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART FOUR Crossover: Witness (obviously), The Village, (Karen Gillian and Hot B*n Shapiro), CSI: Amish Grace ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: Yes! ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Jack and Evelyn's Amish mockery vs. Katrina's autobiographical Amish ignorance ... Great Moments in Moppetry: 1, great workrate, great execution ... Who's the Real Villain: Gossip vs. Incuriosity ... Title/Sequel: Generically inoffensive and thematic, "Follow That Car" and Midnight Express ...  Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART FIVE Rating: 3 ... Good, but not entertaining ... We can do more "real" movies like this ... The Leftovers: Your soul journey will commence ... The Bone Collector ... Dallas-Fort Worth Buckingham ... Random name generator titles ... Antonio Banderas gif ... Sandra L. Martin and Mountain View, Arkansas ... Married stars ... Unverified on Twitter ... Englishlifting the Pootie ... Insane bird foley ... I read your book! ... Slant rhyme ... Hurricanes ... Merry Christmas! All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "O.T.P. (One Term President)" by Wolverines.

107 - It's Rom-Som Time: Everybody Get Amish!

SARA KATE WILKINSON takes us CRASHING THROUGH THE SNOW (2021) and:  We kept the shirt on, and we liked it ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE  Kasem intro ... You get $20, but we never speak again ... The Edge ... "Back to normal and fine" ... A five-tool movie ... Cast rundown: Todd Burpo's doctor and Canadian treasures ... The Expositional Challenge ... Cheap air-horn ... Three notes, and a relaxed attitude toward work ... Spot the Angel: No, but give Hector a try ... Ruddy Santa notes ... Eat Your Heart Out: Many Christmas pastries; jaundiced limp goose; down-the-middle human meal; holiday dinners you wouldn't believe; Rutger Hauer voice ...  Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood  PART TWO   The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Too competent for crossover; incompetent ski resorts; needlessly long episode titles; Tardis McMansion; the billiards room; more needlessly long episode titles ... Denver: America's most Canadian city ... Hotel house minimizing location shock ... Crossover: Sara Kate's improved locked-room mystery; Ready or Not, the dark game of politeness; Mighty Ducks piss-take; why did Sara Kate go Raoul? ... Overdetermined: Too self-aware; "I am Christmas"; "You're watching a movie right now!"; normal, aware flirting; dad's reality-check vs. messing where you eat; lessening the last-minute blows; gimme the fizz; co-parenting conflicts ... The Inchon Landing ...        Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood  PART THREE  The Hallmark Bechdel Test: Yes! ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Hector's cocoa; Ski Instructor Appreciation Station; conveniently oblivious stepmom ... Great Moments in Moppetry Rating: 1.5 ... Who's the Real Villain: Losing your mom; hiding a dead parent's things; realistic potential stepdad vibes; Jeff's facial hair; no greater villain; commodified nuclear-family love ... Rating: 5 ... Actual sexual chemistry ... Implied premarital sex ...   Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood  PART FOUR  Title/Sequel: Good title; 2Crash 2Furious; Uncle Stepdad/Aunt Stepmom; Big Night at the Butterfield Inn ... The Leftovers: First Bumble reference ... TikTok ... Gremlins, the movie ... A walking Instagram post ... Grandma with an Instagram ... Tamar Laddy and Rich Newey Appreciation Station ... Phil Collins crossover ... Partner Chat: Oversize sweaters for the skinny only; GOOD bad-singing; sexy Gettysburg Address; premature matching pajamas; mom's cold marble slab ... Mom's ear-piercing privilege ... Peace with honor in the War on Christmas ... McNamara again ... Team Blitzen ... Goalie dive on the Reindeer Relay ... OJ, Nicole and the recital ... Plugs ... Merry Christmas!   All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "I Got 5 on It (Instrumental)," by The Luniz. Follow Sara Kate on Twitter: @SaraKateW

106 - Inchon Landing on the War on Christmas

SARAH D. BUNTING joins BRANDI BROWN to solve CROSSWORD MYSTERIES: A PUZZLE TO DIE FOR (2019), starting with:  A getting-to-be-so-driven exercise ... Don't look at the NY Magazine's art critic's life ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE  Other podcasts ... Welcome, Brandi and Sarah D. B-b-b-b-bunting ... The ironic-to-sincere Bosch process ... Amazon Original Series Bosch ... Haunted by Brandy (the boy is hers) and not snitching ... Accidental eco-terrorism fans ... How'd we pick this? ... The Cat Who Found a Floater ... Booking Brandi's mom ... Cats and Anti-Cats ... Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Snack-addicted NYPD Chief; art-left ring clues; the NYT crime desk ... Better than Garbage Stores and Wedding Marches; non-workable plot points, but it's still fun ... Berenstein Bears: Lost in Cyberspace ... Tension-free, but actually plotted and playing to Chabert ... Clouds > Clues ... No Chabert solidarity ... Will Shortz cameo ... The crater of Minneapolis ...  Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood  PART TWO   Spot the Criminal: Good red herrings; a buffet of neurodifference; back to the red herrings; Pierre's Vincent Price vibes ... Sketchy character or bad actor? ... Attempted accent work ... Eat Your Heart Out: Pies, more pies; skipping lunch today; bakery downtown; cheese puffamid; the "Upper Crust"; pie alibi; bodying Murder She Baked; some sliders and fries; dine-and-dash on stakeout; letter-folding chip bag ... Pocket muffin ... Combo-Pez dispenser ...     Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood  PART THREE  Journalismism: Zero electronic communications; crossword next to the crime desk reception area; no building security; alphabetical newspaper sections; questionable crossword construction; subscriptions are up 8 percent; crosswords, a cozy career; "no funeral for me, I'm in the archives" ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Fencing stolen paintings through Garage Sale Mysteries; theft covered on the Hallmark podcast series; Murder She Baked going in on NY pies; leads getting married at the Wedding March B&B; the red-herring couple fleeing crime; the red-herring couple being hired by Danny Glover as God; the Candyland New York of Very Very Valentine ... Overdetermined: The trauma swaps; copaganda within copaganda; biting on the red herring; Elaine the art dealer's malice; how to get in the mind of the killer ... The Unabomber ... Crossover: PBS's Ghost Writer; an American Animals take on this plot; this plot, but in a Bone Collector universe; Friends of Numb3rs ... Wholesome Se7en ...   Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood  PART FOUR  The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Pierre, former art broker Elaine, the City of New York, everyone or nothing, Monk simulation, the city is a character and robot ... Who's the Real Villain?: Cops, death of journalism, in-person workplaces, non-digitized archives; not understanding the readership ... Substack criminals ... Rating: 4 ... Effectively using La Chabert ... Lori Loughlin returning to Lifetime ... When Chabert's Chabert ... The Leftovers: New York O'Connors ... IMDB dive ... Positive supporting performances ... Frank D'Angelo ... Time-shifted to pre-internet ... Chesley Nightengale ... "Word on the street is, don't miss it" ... NY1 Hallmark ... Webster's defines crosswords as ... Abigail Krebs ... Wrong gallery, one clue, two solutions ... No sleeping on stakeout ... Shake Shack assassination attempt ... Plugs ...   Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood  All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "Send Me on My Way," by Rusted Root. Follow Sarah on Twitter: @tomatonation Follow Brandi on Twitter: @itsthebrandi Listen to Jeb and Sarah on Quaid in Full: Links!

105 - A Bi Bagel Risk

NPR's LINDA HOLMES joins TARA ARIANO in saying YOU HAD ME AT ALOHA (2021) and:  Pick up the phone and pod. What's so difficult? Just pick up the phone and pod. THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE  The GOAT Lady ... Linda's Hallmark cred ... Jack Wagner Appreciation Station ... Expanding the Hallmark humane universe ... Kissing and plastic wrap ... Bad video copy or prequel-level CGI? ... Callback to _____ Mariah Carey's episode ...  Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood  PART TWO   Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge: First write-down effort ... Goat-plot mop-up ... Open the dress ... Hula music ... Missed goatertunity ... Ridiculous show pitch ... Extraordinary Rendition, The Show! ... 50/50 rating split ... Chainsaw ... Spot the Angel: There's no God; elves; religious Santa; Millie's mellowing ... Angel Status: Working on it ... Flower signifier ... Millie halo > Mary halo ... Eat Your Heart Out: Captain Hula's authentic Hawaiian cuisine; pineapple; "Beer"; large dinner rolls ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Every unwilling host movie; Hallmark Viacom; Ben's twin brother's Polynesian fusion; When Calls the Heart (and fan service); not even a movie; Lee Majors and Lindsay Wagner; Episodes 83, But Wait, There's Buckley; Episode 98, Buckley's Big Naturals (But Not in Excess); Episode 19, The Quotable Gus Van Houten; the Hawaiian resort you can find on Hallmark dot com ... Hallmark Hilton Head ... National Flip-Flop Day ... Hula noise ...       Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood  PART THREE  Overdetermined: Rigid or spontaneous; chill; Ted McGinley drop; Hallmark guys in a sunken place; leaning Snyderly on the goat trauma; "I hate planning" ... Crossover: Falling Down; Promising Young Woman; Six Days, Seven Nights; Hawaii of Doctor Five-O ... Chainsaw ...    Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood  PART FOUR  Swag shout-out ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: Work via boys ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: No, they have learned; Todd erasure, dailies, rage-quit and bronzer ... Journalismism: Google your co-host; Luis as manager; "goof-off time"; justification tk tk tk; too surprised by YouTube; not even implied discomfort; unemployment isn't entertainment; hosting isn't easy, and it and producing aren't interchangeable ... Who's the Real Villain: Women be organizin' ... What if a guy was afraid of rollerblading, or saw value in a woman's opinion? ... Rating: 3 (Hula music, horrendous title, jumping off things) ... The sequel ...  Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood  PART FIVE  The Leftovers: I've expressed all options ... Mini Classic Lines: Jeggings, wrap dresses, flip-flops ... Rick Garman Un/Appreciation Station ... Actually, write that movie, please ... Beginning the Jean Smart resurgence ... "Porch Pirate" ... John Putch Appreciation Station ... When banter's too mean ... All the beats are right ... The Sure Thing ... Let's get wasted ... "Do you think I have feelings?" ... The part where you're being more sensitive ... "I can't unplug from work!" ... Rigid people can be fun ... Where is the balance? ... You miss posting ... "Let's make out" face ... Is our SHOW too rigid? ... Just pick up the phone and call ... Podcasting tips ... Plugs ... Merry Christmas!  All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "Hawaii Five-O Theme," by The Ventures, "Aloha Oe," by George Kulokahai and His Island Serenaders, and "Were You There When They Crucified Jack Lord," from Mr. Mike's Mondo Video Follow Linda on Twitter: @lindaholmes Follow Tara on Twitter: @TaraAriano Get Linda's book here. Listen to Jeb's most recent guest stint on Extra Hot Great.

104 - Hitting on the Pineapplebee's Hostess

MAURA QUINT returns and we DON'T GO BREAKING MY HEART (2021) for:  Editing IMDB to include more scared priests ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Welcome back Maura ... Flip this host ... No song ... Noom brainwashing ... "Advantage Monthly" ... New York Sports Club Magazine ... You were going to be kidnapped ... Reviewing Ohio community theater ...  Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART TWO  Cast Rundown ... Four Dead Girls, the Soul Taker ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot mop-up ... Actual evidence of movie ... Decent human relations, terrible plotting ... Spot the Angel: Nobody, or the editor ... Eat Your Heart Out: Street meat; cold-brew coffee in winter; ground snout; knowing a pizza place; mentioning other food ... Journalismism: Suit and corner office; insanely hot blogger; (off-topic) making your ingenue plain; not understanding features; that ponzi thing; editorial sound-board; Lumbergh vibes; Fight Club and/or ghost editor; three-week ponzi story; "scams and fads"; Bill Simmons ultimatum; "but what does this all have to do with my relationships?"; "You think you can get some photos?"...   Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART THREE The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Affluent-guy social/travel club; Episode 57, "Wetwork for the America Pageant"; French pastry chef boot camp squats; Anxiety Paintball; Episode 84, "Badboy James and the Whole Hardbody Movement," and Episode 31, "Not All Tonys Are Baloney" ... Overdetermined: Load-bearing overdetermined; the climbing gym; "there's the guy from the restaurant" and "comfort me with your pain"; libertarian-guy vibes ...    Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART FOUR Crossover: Teach me to run like Ben; the Hunter Pence School of Baseball; bathroom emergency; Marriage and Baby boot camps; Color of Night (again!) ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: Clear enough; past-life regression; Dead Again ... Hmmm? A job interview? Hmmm ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Business-partner Chloe and transference ... Weird, unethical coda ... Who's The Real Villain: Any self-reflection; underfed fad/fraud story; totalizing female fallibility ... Rating: 2.5 ... No-chemistry sister ... Bangs ...  Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART FIVE High school pendant symbolism ... Lesbian cat mom ... Hallmark's homophobe died ... From Plandemic to Lesbian Cat Mom ... IMDB Dive: The Soul Taker series; music video himbo ... Nina Weinman's oeuvre ... Episode 2, Ina Bruckner's Gingerbread Manhunter ... Chupacabra vs. The Alamo ... "A Shaolin Christmas" ... Bink Williams! ... Lunch isn't what it looks like ... What about fear? ... PalConnect ... Ben's Sex and the City voiceover ... Tom Waits ... Makeout Point Kimmel painting ... Bink, the Assassin ... Merry Christmas!  All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "Don't Go Breaking My Amp (Busker)." Follow Maura on Twitter: @behindyourback

103 - Have You Thought About Fear

We're adding A DASH OF LOVE (2017) and:  We're going to pass on the rolls. THEME: THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel ... Brendan Penny heat check ... Barely a movie ... Wasted Gilpin ... Previously a book? ... Ecce Homo ... Real-movie themes ... Too false, weird and murky ... Cast Rundown ... Ben Wilkinson maxing out the Liotta ... The Expositional Challenge ... Nikki-Paul cassoulet meet-cute ... Deranged food/media depiction ... Leaden, arrhythmic pacing ... Lord Fox's Huron Fleet ... Is she carrying leeks into a YMCA? ... Extremely cold ... The back of a restaurant ... Sal ...  Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART TWO  Spot the Angel: No, and no community ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Summer Villa meets Chopt vs. Donovan Narrates The Investor in Botown ... Stan Kroenke ... "Why did you do that, Nikki?" ... Overdetermined: Not determined enough; The Patty Duke Show, Asshole Edition; intergenerational Johnny Sack; crayons make art too; cayenne pepper and relationship material ... Diner culture ... Crossover: Goodfellas, Dellucci's, when Bae texts first; Sweetbitter ...   Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART THREE The Hallmark Bechdel Test: Job talk, Delllucci's cooking talk ...  The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Holly Hanson's meanness, funding, cooking and stealing ... Who's the Real Villain: Restaurant feudalism, funding and food culture ... Rating: 2 ... Brad Penny and the Large Lads ... Eat Your Heart Out: Cinnamon candy chili ... The other white meat ... Ingredient jump-scares ... Cadbury egg ... Increasingly upsetting food ... Community rolls ... Cardamom ... Skittlebrau ... Stew with root beer ... Valentine's ravioli and lamb mole ... Rachel Ray vibes ... Chawmp ... KFC ... Lavender Ham ... Split that loin ... Fighting the sensuality ... Joss Whedon's mom ... Two weeks...  Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART FOUR The Leftovers: Christie Will Wolf Appreciation Station ... From Silk Stalkings to Eric Mabius ... Identity Theft of a Cheerleader ... Slightly Single in LA ... Worst bro-bonding convo ever ... Reggie Miller and Shaq Appreciation Station ... Angry rehab-checking ... No dribbling for the sound guy ... Burst off the dribble ... Under the hoop ... Netless volleyball ... Silent Hill parent hug ... Monkey smuggling ... Cayenne in my dad ... Dad foodgasm ... Vulvular decor ... "Falling out" ... Endless Instagramming ... More Gilpin ... Atrocious coffee collision ... Mark Prior ... Fancy Food ... Merry Christmas!  All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "Baker Street (loop)," by Gerry Rafferty

102 - Everybody's All Liotta

We're the next big thing, and we're in the BEVERLY HILLS WEDDING (2021) and:  We had to cancel the Beverly Hills wedding. THEME: "The Rockford Files," by Mike Post PART ONE Dave is baking evasive ... THE Beverly Hills wedding ... Dan Smith, BYU ... Edited by Valentine's, 2022 ... Go balls out ... Cast rundown, callbacks and The Hume Cronins ... The Expositional Challenge ... False twist expectation ... Lame excuses! ... Less charming hermeticism ... Covid makes Hallmark make sense ... That's great Malick Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART TWO  Re-entering the cup of hot cocoa ... Spot the Angel: Terence Roquefort, but problematized ... Small town vs. Beverly Hills freaks ... "It used to be about the weddings, man" ... Eat Your Heart Out: Van crepes; green seafood puck; dessert colors; redneck voices; the worst champagne in Scotland; what about beer; Polaner All Fruit; gold dusting with a smattering of pearls; stagey class artifice ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Hallmark's greater Pacific Northwest; Episode 50; Episode 69 ... Hallmark's version of fancypants ... Gray as hell ... The Powder disease ... Is this Pine Mountain? ... Fog of War soundtrack ... Robert McNamara's Overdetermined: You left, you failed a promise to your dreams, you suffocated your sister, this wedding will fail, you're an idiot ... Valentine's wedding candy invitation  Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART THREE The Swagony of Defeat: Nice Hyundai; Zack Snyder's Justice League; Godiva (twice) ... Crossover: "Roquefort Origins: Terence in Maine"; Malick in Maine; schnapps with or without ice ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: Mom/art exhibits/photography ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Homiletic husband Gary; Knox Harrington, the video artist; "otherizing" the gay character beyond Hallmark uncanniness; Terence's Wonka-esque affect ... Who's the Real Villain?: Influencer-driven conspicuous consumption ... Creeping to the glass of the critique  Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART FOUR Rating: 3.0 ... Shut up, Jordan ... "Watchable" ... The Leftovers: Paul Ziller's IMDB (again!), Covered in Bugs/Possessed by Demons ... Worms! ... Just try a sweepstakes ... Hugh's ... It's Spagett! ... Jordan's opinion, not needed ... Out of your element, Jordan ... Haunted Jason Mraz-style Weezer cover ... They used "Hash Pipe!" ... Hallmark showed feet ... Tandem bike ... Abraham Lincoln ... iZombie, Marine sequel, the Craig Zahler universe crossover ... Urban clearance ... Merry Christmas! All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "Cop Killer [8-bit John Maus cover]"

101 - Cranpagne Wishes and Moxie Dreams

SARA KATE WILKINSON and MAURA QUINT ice over CRANBERRY CHRISTMAS (2020) and:  Gabe had to go live on the cranberry farm THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE We bought the farm! ... Meet Maura ... Losing your Hallmark virginity ... A manifestation of a sick society ... The Don Jr. Face Spectrum ... Canadian cocaine ... Children shouldn't ice skate  Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART TWO  Cast rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: The Oprah-esque Pamela Franks, a sister dating again ... 45-minute story ... Estrangement without divorce ... Sexless married reunion ... Mistletoe bed/belt ... Spot the Angel: Pamela/Oprah; everyone in the town; grandma with an Instagram ... Was Dawn Pamela's second choice? ... Pity the rich person's commute ... Hallmark having it both ways ... "Ugh! We doubled our land!" ... Overdetermined: "Just DO the work"  Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART THREE Eat Your Heart Out: Frozen hot chocolate in outdoor Maine Christmas festival; cookie butter; homemade marshmallows; boxes of bread; orange and purple Christmas-tree pizzas; red-pepper tinsel; "assume Carl's Jr."; cranberry coffee syrup; the secret ingredient on Chopt; lifestyle tour brainstorming; zero yeast infections; crueler marshmallows ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Episodes 64, 70-73, 83, 94  Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART FOUR Crossover: Deranged news producer; Martha Stewart's prison bog work; selling this farm to real Oprah; Stars Hollow vibes; The Tommy Westphal universe of Taylor Doese ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: Sisters and hip granny; childish ambition; camera talk ... Great Moments in Moppetry Rating: 1 ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Gabe's ability to love ... Who's the Real Villain: Headstrong ladies; time; refusing to communicate ... A couple in years of therapy ... Do these people have cell phones? ... Designed, artisanal engagement ring ... Rating: 2 ... An age-appropriate couple ... Blinds Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART FIVE The Leftovers: Making a beautiful actress dowdy ... A vengeful Director of Photography ... Schrödinger's cranberry bog ... Competent Covid logistics ... Other networks' movies ... Hunks of Hallmark (again) ... He went upstate to live on the cranberry farm ... "No! The house doesn't miss me at all!" ... Every ornament shattered, box fine ... Homemade ornaments ... Not to be rude about the Hallmark Gold and Crown store, but ... It's good that you feel bad ... Hallmark Roast ... Varieties of Hallmark parents ... IMDB dive ... Linda-Lisa ... The long haul with Joie Botkin ... Merry Christmas! All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "The Liberty Bell March" by John Philip Sousa Follow Maura on Twitter: @Behindyourback Follow Sara Kate on Twitter: @SaraKateW

100 - Rich Problems for Bog People

We speak to the dead for A NASHVILLE CHRISTMAS CAROL (2020) and:  We are doing this cold open live ... The Francesa Voice ... Four letters, starts with D THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Buster Poindexter ... Show business ... Terry Benedict's podcast ... The Elliot Gould of this podcast ... Podcast crisis hotline ... Defenseless before Hallmark vibes ... Country musician cats, prehabilitated Scrooge  Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART TWO  Cast rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot mop-up ... "Dragon lady" on the set ... Rich person's fan script or free singer promo? ... Made by a scion of Kix Brooks ... Chet's Galaxy ... More Kasem ... 10-year overlooked phone call ... Dead and chill  Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART THREE Spot the Angel: Come on, man ... Kimberly Williams-Paisley, dramatic interping ... Lazy British accents ... Woo Girl Paula Deen ... Eat Your Heart Out: No savories, peppermint brittle, red onions, no Kitchen Aid mixer, bad spatula ... Dennis Miller interlude ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: The Specter of Chet's Galaxy; Hallmark's Great Silent Majority; Wings of Desire, but outside Nashville Break: "Himmel über Berlin," by Jurgen Knieper PART FOUR Overdetermined: Jarring oafishness of ghost scenes vs. clash of lessons ... Just omit the lesson and omit existing intellectual property ... Crossover: A Hellraiser puzzle box that brings lesson-giving Cenobites vs. hangin' with Jesse Farrar vs. Pussy Relief 2021 ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: Pass! ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Both musicians, potentially dead parents, AI dad ... Christmas really just makes these crazier ... Who's the Real Villain?: The music business/Chet ... Bitching about music video budgets ... Stop saying his name ... Just make it 5 percent more real Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART FIVE Rating: 2 ... The Leftovers: Ten years is still too long at 30 ... Eric Brooks' You're Going to Miss Me ... "Drop her, creep" ... Belinda Carlisle ... luuuv too hug the head of the studio ... Haunting Covid signifier ... Old Tom Cruise on-set rant anecdote ... Ambivalence about the risk of making this movie ... Visualizing explaining why you're in the hospital ... Bill Kurtis ... Press button, receive plot ... Merry Christmas! All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane, and "Accidental Racist," by Brad Paisley feat. LL Cool J

099 - Accidentally Racist in Chet's Galaxy

We get handsome and competent with THE CHRISTMAS HOUSE (2020) and: Treat Williams is not in The Substitute ... It's natural and OK to talk about Treat Williams ... Wrong movie ... Daybrooding ... Sniper  THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Handsome Podcast ... Whaddaya want, it's good ... Podcast business ... The shortcomings of "Dave and Jeb Aren't Mean" ... IT'S FINE!!! DO NOTHING!!! ... Countdown to Christmas Countdown ... Cast rundown ... Marvel vs. Vigor ... The Expositional Challenge ... Breaking ground on gay kisses, adoption and parental separation ... Robert Buckley Appreciation Station ... Annnnd the interracial pairing ... Tamales and regular wine drinking ... Jeb's post in the Post ... Hallmark movie, real reactions ... Decent uncle ... Finally, an out Jonathan Bennett character ...  Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART TWO Spot the Angel: Too normal ... No Rothery ... Eat You Heart Out: Masa scones, tamales, spicy hot chocolate, cocoa and cookies (but not in excess) ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: A lawyer show that could actually be on Hallmark or in any Hallmark movie; the greater NYC Hallmark blob; the Treat Williamsphall Universe ... Overdetermined: Heavy-handed yet passable; Angie Everheart; early kludgy chemistry; mom and dad's mass quit ... Cincinnati chili again  Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART THREE Crossover: It's already a romcom; The Family Stone genre; Treat Williams as a substitute teacher; Dennis Franz as the dad; you're not going to like whose butt it is; The Big Chill, but Santa's dead ... Sipowicz, Mamie Gummer, Anya, Uma, Wrenn Schmidt, Nute Gunray ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: Implied real estate ... America's Voice ... Wife as hobby ... Bobsled friendship ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Marvelous Jim ... Partner Chat: Grift Body Spray; if these were Brits, it'd just be a regular romcom; Kiss Kiss Bang Bang; quality fluffing; Christmas drought; Salem's Lot; inflatables; court decor; sez you ... Great Moments In Moppetry: 2, for volume ... Ballbusting ... Who's the Real Villain: Non-union reality programming ... CBS's Handsome Justice ... High-low Hallmarky set design ... The Doink Doink ... Rating: 4.5  Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood The Leftovers: Who taught dad PowerPoint? ... Anya Ayora, eternal Cruz ... Screenwriter Erin Rodman, rebounding legend ... Non-consensual Instagram advertising ... Employee no-selling recognition ... Mom razzing kids ... Wise younger brother ... Strong himbo vibes ... Snack cringe ... Shutting down the florid declaration ... Enchantment Under the Vaseline flashback ... Lot Cop: Look at the back of the damn tree because of spiders ... Judy Tenuta ... Merry Christmas! All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane, and "Spider," by They Might Be Giants

098 - Buckley's Big Naturals (but Not in Excess)

BRANDI BROWN joins us for GARAGE SALE MYSTERY: THE ART OF MURDER (2017) and: A message about our namechange. THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Let's cancel! ... First, dead family, THEN pandemic ... April 13, 2019 ... Kill your computer ... Grandma troll wants the cusses ... Comic books and Hubert Humphrey  Break: "Hubert Humphrey," by The Knuckle Sandwiches PART TWO The Extra Hot Great podcast universe ... Lori Loughlin ... Hallmark samizdat ... Missing Loughlin ... Superutility Sarah Strange ... Weak mystery ... The Expositional Challenge ... Cast rundown ... Plot Mop-Up ... Giant warehouse, no job ... Sorority PTA ... College is high school; high school is college ... Cropsy ... Chunks of real effort ... Un-inventoried weird art in The Kingdom of Spiders Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART THREE Spot the Angel/Criminal: Red paint Jackoff Pollock ... Work lazy, crime hard ... Do you have a fence? ... Just sell out! ... Angelic mom-volunteering ... Kappa Kappa Kappa ... Mom-Daughter casting ... Jackee, Jasmine Guy, Tatyana Ali ... Eat Your Heart Out: Vibrational food; Keith Raniere's cult vegetables; Kramer-like cop; pizza-order clowning; randomized plausible foods; raw eggplant; Dispensary Mysteries Break: "Jammin'," by Bob Marley and The Simpsons  PART FOUR Extremely shitty audio engineering ... Hallmark Expanded Universe: A Jen/Dani podcast; food truck universe; junk shop, Good Witch's shop, Anthropologie, a chocolatier ... Canadian accents in Louisiana, Missouri ... Overdetermined: Red paint; zesty hack; overdrawn "evil" stepdaughter ... Crossover: Sarah Strange for anything; NXIVM for food; Safe-like environmental sensitivity; Jen vs. Jessica Fletcher; Hallmark mystery Grand Slam ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: Yes ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Dani, the Dad ... Cartoon bear ... You never leave ... Actually, everyone's a replicant ... Hummuside  Break: "David Duke Is Running for President," by Skankin Pickle PART FIVE Who's the Real Villain: Helicopter parenting, underfunding the arts, toxic masculinity, lack of safety net ... Rating: 2.5 ... The Leftovers: What happened to the garage sale? ... Buying stolen goods ... Twin Peaks/Law & Order ominous tones ... Tina, gut-shot champ ... Director K.T. Donaldson ... Synchronized bedtime ... Congrats on the sex ... Buying classic cars for fun ... Meghan Markle's coming back ... Mortimer B. Croup ... Rich people inventory art ... Carrying Linwood's ass ... Mark Brandon Appreciation Station again ... Pete Wells ... Plugs ... Merry Christmas! All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane Bill Corbett's Funhouse Follow Brandi on Twitter!

097 - Can Steal Art, Can't Tend Bar

TARA ARIANO and SARAH D. BUNTING take a trip to NORTHPOLE (2014) and: Robots, they're just like us ... Classic Tudyk ... THEME ... Joe E. Tata ... Plugs! ... Sequel book ... No Swank ... "Enough" ... Dina Meyer ... Ridgewood, NJ. 07450 ... Pleasantly surprised ... Accidentally in Love ... Paula Abdul's "Itty Bitty Titty Committee" number ... The Mac Rangers ... Wanting to talk about Fastlane ... Tiffany Thiessen's cooking show ... Cast Rundown and The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Nothing; you get one sproing ... More careful, more expensive ... Authentically cold ... Bailey Madison, SVU ... The John Munch Hallmark Universe ... Hallmark one-timers ... BREAK ... Spot the Angel: Clementine, Santa, an elfiverse ... Journalismism: Dictating to copy desk; crossword and northern lights; legit hardball; mysterious old man; correcting the TV; ask a follow-up; the Elf/Developer Trust Continuum; getting a friend fired; "Butthole Eaten at Lions Tailgate"; bold quitting ... Eat Your Heart Out: Wack elf measurements; dismembered snowman ice cream cake; no savories; the Guild of Yummy ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Priscilla Presley back from Christmas at Graceland II; Gus van Houten's avuncular developer; Wedding March 17: Hit or Mistletoe; the Santa and Only Child buddy universe ... Overdetermined: The Northern Lights Cycle of Happiness; everything; Ryan lecturing Chelsea; their 16-minute emotional journey ... Crossover: Ryan as a brother in While You Were Sleeping; the Perfect Boobs Ladies Detective Agency; a Dark City for the North Pole; The Santa Con ... BREAK ... The Swagony of Defeat: Folger's crystals tubbb; the Hallmark Northpole Find-Me Santa light ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: Yes! ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Ryan, debatably; Jenkins, editor-in-chief ... Great Moments in Moppetry: Older, inconsistently bantery, slightly precious, 1.5 ... Every other kid in this movie sucks ... SnOMG, it's Dazzy Clementine ... BREAK ... Who's the Real Villain?: Clementine's costumer, jumping to conclusions, science, austerity, institutionalizing bullying ... Rating: 4 ... A good use of Robert Wagner ... Now accepting walk-ins ... The Tampa Bay Rays Hallmark lead draft ... Ugly to all fields ... The Leftovers: Mrs. Robert Wagner ... Sucky dad ... Actual Thiessen husband ... Tiffany Thiessen's cooking show again ... Christopher Walken in Northpole ... Boosting non-union reindeer ... Eco-quitter ... Eight movies ... Spooky Buddies ... Plugs again! ... Deer's ears ... Merry Christmas! • MUSIC:"Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • Theme from Beverly Hills 90120 • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane Follow Tara on Twitter Follow Sarah on Twitter Listen to Again with This A Very Special 90210 Book

096 - The Elf-Developer Trust Continuum

CASEY TAYLOR joins us and SIGNED, SEALED, DELIVERED for THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED (2018) and: A tedious audio warning ... We are going to Pueblo! ... THEME ... Boofed the intro ... Meet Casey Taylor ... Elite Christian postal detectives ... Casey was USPS ... Red flags ... Never be friends with supervisors ... The Signed, Sealed, Delivered universe ... Cast rundown ... Haywith guy or Dorman guy ... The Expositional Challenge: Over the line ... Dave That Failed ... Plot Wrap-Up: Norman and Rita have wedding anxiety; Shane and Oliver doubt each other's commitment; gambling-addict sister; Rachel's husband, Icetown mayor; Dinosaur park, pie restaurant; real mayor shit; shame doesn't liquidate your assets ... Colorado is a commonwealth ... Colorado of the Mind ... Enormous vehicle, walking pace ... Student pursuer ... You have to drive in USPS ... The mail and The Knowledge ... Unprepared for the serial structure, loved it ... Enjoyably immersive ... Chemistry set ... Outsider-art production vibes ... Is Oliver Norman's dad? ... Pretending to steer the car ... A good Hallmark-hermeticism movie ... Four people at a real-estate broker's conference ... BREAK ... Spot the Angel: No; all; appeal to Wallace Shawn; Raiders, before it turns bad; postal angels; Mr. Ass ... Eric Mabius Objectification Station ... Mannequin at J. Crew ... Casual daywear as depravity metric ... Eat Your Heart Out: Bistro Ramon; finding a single farmer's market; Norman's a pie guy; Rachel At The Farm Stand; Gumb; panicked craft services raid; no kettle chips for kids; gargantuan Francesa popcorn ... The Hallmark Expanded/Crossover: Meadow Soprano bursting into the ballroom; Vito Spatafore finding his own community, Meadow finding gentleness in Colorado; Meadow hunted by her past; too hermetic for other Hallmark properties; Arlington Road; Episodes 6, 13, 21, 29, 45, 49, 51, 58, 60, 76, 88, 91, 92 and 94 ... Barber-prescribed cocaine ... Overdetermined: You are also in prison; procedural Law & Order beats mitigate the overdeterminacy; "we're ominously going to see daddy" ... Man vs. Man, Man vs. Nature, Ashamed of Your Dad; too much allegory ... BREAK ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: Serial-structure problems; voided by Oliver, wedding checklists; Ashamed of Husband ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Everything about Oliver; surreally chaste ... Cod lips, car magnet ... Whoa! Partner Chat: Checked out early; hair callbacks; call the non-canonical FBI; militarization of the USPS; the Oliver-Sherlock connection ... Great Moments in Moppetry: 1 ... Who Is the Real Villain?: Guilt/shame/alternative lifestyles; bridal shaming; product-driven publishing; technology; affected twerpy atavism; the carceral state ... Rating: 3 ... Dinged for Ramon ... Don't let Norman drive the bus ... Overtly sincere Christianity over demographic/product self-signaling ... BREAK ...  The Leftovers: A rainbow of babies ... An thousand foreskins ... Pokemon go to the orphanage ... Norman, Hallmark's first overtly Jewish character ... Norman's shame at his ancestry ... A prison of bubbe ... Deliver Me ... NPR Bix Beiderbecke noise ... R. Crumb's shittier brothers ... USPS DISCLAIMER ... Bye, Dave ... Plugs! ... Merry Christmas! • MUSIC:"Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane • CASEY at The New Republic here • CASEY at Mel Magazine here • CASEY'S TWITTER here

095 - Let's Go to Prison!

We're on the ROAD TO CHRISTMAS (2018), we'll take you there, take you there, for: Exploring the space ... Notes from Jasper, LLC ... THEME ... Countdown to Christmas in July Countdown ... Tardiness apology ... ADHD cul-de-sac ... Talent show cringe horror ... Burn down the portrait studio ... L'Allegro and Il Penseroso ... BREAK ... Meet Zac Hug ... Ethical quandaries ... Funny, playful acting and plotting, with real stakes ... Jeb's life story ... The Expositional Challenge: Flex Bomb ... Plot Wrap-Up: Family breach, sassy twin sister, competent assistant, rescue animal Christmas celebration ... Everything more alive/artful than usual ... Twinkly POC pranking ... "Silly" is a good choice ... White Elephant parties ... BREAK ... Spot the Angel: None ... Eat Your Heart Out: First appearance of acorn squash; CAST RUNDOWN; Dan Quinn; Christmas tree eggnog; OJ with a cinnamon stick; a goose is cooked, abundant and low value; colorless, numerous rolls; Hidden Valley Shrimp; bacon-wrapped dates, salami, spiced onions, crudités; strategic gift reserve; normal vegetarianism; Palestine and snap peas ... BREAK ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Colorado, Vermont, New Hampshire, the airport, and episodes 6, 13, 21, 29, 41, 45, 49, 51, 58, 60, 61, 70, 71, 76, 87, 88, 89, 91, and 92 ... Journalismism: Standard waivers; remote servers and thumb drives; doing it in person; QZK8's omnipresent weather man; yes, that's a demotion; easily dismissed obstacles; unconfirmed interviews; an actual family company; stories tell themselves; unrecorded quote ... Overdetermined: None ... The art of not underlining ... Crossover: A peak-TV overcast NY media take on this special vs. It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Planes, Trains and Automobiles ... BREAK ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: If work as an overall practice/necessity/task counts, yes ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: None ... The most-closeted character in Hallmark to date ... Is the representation great or not enough? ... Hallmark staring down demographic destiny ... Jeb's Medium piece about Hallmark, LINK: HERE ... Great Moments in Moppetry: 1 ... Assistant's Mini-Me ... Who's the Real Villain: None ... Rating: 5 ... The Leftovers: Allan Harmon adapting TS Eliot ... Jeb catches a stray; no party parking; But Wait, There's Echoes of Buckley ... LOT COP ... Extremely big and fabulous Jimmy Stewart ... Rejecting this alliance ... Teryl Rothery's nerves ... A nice Martha Stewart ... Nutley ... The Martha Stewart Cookbook ... Croquembouche ... Help you with the segments ... Merry Christmas ... • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "Baker Street (Loop)," by Gerry Rafferty • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane

094 - The Ecstasy of Competence

Journalists Jeb Lund and David J. Roth step away from the the anxieties of the real world and step into the gentle, cornball, consequence-free fantasy world that exists only on the Hallmark Channel. Every week, give or take, we discuss a different Hallmark original movie—from Christmas cheer, to wedding jitters, to bakers who solve murders—and break it down into recognizable components of angels, moms, moppets, themed sweaters and mountains of dinner rolls, and try to make sense of the moments when the stories veer away from comfort films and find themselves in the uncanny valley. Welcome to a sweet, strange, stilted vision of the world—not so much an escape from modern life as a relaxing trip to an alternate universe where everyone is silly, chaste, nice, and mostly doing fine.

hubhopper

Dave and Jeb Aren't Mean

hubhopper