Most of us have a desire to be GREAT at something, whether it’s writing a book, launching a business, or having a successful relationship. But the distance between being okay and great is usually filled with obstacles like fear of success, analysis paralysis, and the ever so sneaking procrastination monster. One major reason we fail to achieve our goals is because we fail to anticipate resistance. Sources of resistance usually are within your control. You can anticipate them, minimize their impact, and take tangible actions. On today's show we will explore how anticipating resistance may be the key to moving our goals over the finish line.Resources/ Things Mentioned During The Show:Back Story Master Class Enroll https://neely-counseling-center-plc.ck.page/93288607abDrop The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

Drop the BS w/ Dr. Kirleen

65: Success Requires You to Anticipate Resistance

Have you ever heard someone say, "I don't' care what anyone thinks of me," but a lot of that person's actions scream that they do care? As humans, we are hard-wired to seek approval. It's like there is an unspoken belief that unless people approve of you, your worthless. There are real-life consequences for approval seeking, consequences that impact relationships, career, and your peace of mind. Approval-seeking behavior is intended to get more approval and respect from others, yet what people generally respect are people who are true to themselves. It is nice to have the approval of others, but the way to get it is to have self-approval and self-respect. On today's show, we will look at six tools you can use to break the approval-seeking cycle.Resources/ Things Mentioned During The Show:Back Story Master Class Enroll https://neely-counseling-center-plc.ck.page/93288607abDrop The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

64: Six Ways To Stop Approval Seeking

During our weakest, most stressful moments, many of us find ourselves staring into the fridge or pantry for comfort. Feeding our feelings is a common coping response to life stressors. In fact, 38% of adults admit to overeating or eating unhealthy foods due to stress. Using food to suppress or calm negative emotions is a temporary, short-term solution that does little to address the actual problem and wreaks havoc on weight loss goals. In addition, emotional eating often hides emotions and thoughts that are out of our awareness but still motivate many of our actions. Self-defeating behaviors, such as emotional eating might not make sense on the surface, but there is usually an underlying explanation. On today's show I’ve brought in an expert in the area of emotional eating. Health psychologist Dr. Shawn Hondorp will shed some light on this difficult issue and leave you with some inspiration on how to live and eat better.Resources/ Things Mentioned During The Show:Emotional Eating Guide: https://drhondorp.com/guideValues Clarification Guide: https://drhondorp.com/goalsDr. Hondorp website http://drshawnhondorp.com/Back Story Master Class Enroll https://neely-counseling-center-plc.ck.page/93288607abDrop The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

63: Emotional Eating w/ Dr. Shawn Hondorp

Do you have someone in your life that you absolutely love and want to keep in your life, but aspects of their personality drive you up the wall? Things like being manipulative, jealous, too needy, controlling, or always wanting to debate everything. Some of the most difficult personality types can be people closes to us; parents, children, spouses, or even a best friend. On today's show, we are going to explore tools to help you love the difficult personality types in your life without losing your mind. Resources/ Things Mentioned During The Show:Back Story Master Class Enroll https://neely-counseling-center-plc.ck.page/93288607abDrop The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

62: Loving Difficult People

I'm not a fan of labels because every person on earth has unique quirks and traits. That's why it's a little bothersome that the label of "narcissist" is being thrown around left and right these days. Social media posts like "Are you married to a narcissist?" or "How to get over a narcissist" are everywhere. Overusing the term can be to the detriment of real victims and slander ordinary people dealing with challenging personalities. Statistics show that only 0.5% of people in the US have this disorder. There are many other personality disorders that may account for the difficult people we encounter. On today's show, we'll explore another personality type that may be responsible for some of the complicated relationships we face.Resources/ Things Mentioned During The Show:Back Story Master Class Enroll https://neely-counseling-center-plc.ck.page/93288607abDrop The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

61: You Think They're A Narcissist? Maybe It's Borderline

We've remixed one of our most popular episodes related to self-sabotage to give you a second dose of inspiration. If you've ever had those moments where you’re in a loop of negative thoughts that all go back to how you’re not good enough, this remix is for you. Sometimes these loops are triggered by a significant disappointment and other times, it’s the smallest event that starts the domino of thought. You may have tried to fix these negative feelings with positive affirmations or changing your self-talk only to find that the loop of negative thinking comes right back.In this episode of Drop the BS Podcast, we are getting to the root of why so many of us are struggling with feeling like we are not good enough. Resources/ Things Mentioned During The Show:Drop The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

60: Stop Self Sabotage "The Remix Episode 14"

I’m almost certain that there is not one person who has lived through the last year who has not experienced some level of grief and loss. Whether it is a consequence of the pandemic, or another life altering event, it seems that grief has become truly unavoidable. Grief can take a significant emotional toll, especially in the earliest days. Things you could have managed before your loss feel insurmountable. But grief is a natural response to loss and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. The key is learning how to thrive and grow through grief. On today's show, I’m joined by Jonathan Pitts author, speaker, and executive pastor. Jonathan will share what he’s learned about moving through loss after the sudden death of his wife Wynter. If you’ve been struggling to find meaning after loss, I think this show will be a step in the right direction.Mentioned during the show/resources:Jonathan Pitts https://jonathanpitts.net/Employee Assistance Program (EAP) https://neelycounseling.com/eap-program-overview/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

59: Growing Through Grief w/ Jonathan Pitts

You may be thinking, what in the heck does my mental health have to do with my money. Well, if you ever engage in retail therapy or feel intense emotions about money, then it’s possible your money and your mental health are doing a dangerous dance. Most of us think that money is about our bank balance. Yes, of course, it is that too, but money is also strongly connected to emotions. The most important emotions in relation to money are fear, guilt, shame, and envy. It’s worth spending some effort to become aware of the emotions that are primarily tied to money for you because it’s estimated that approximately 90% of money decisions are made emotionally.On today's show, I’m joined by Bari Tessler. She’s a financial therapist, author, and founder of The Art of Money, a year-long money school and global community that blends practical financial tools with a nurturing, body-centered approach. Her work has been featured in publications such as Oprah.com, and The Huffington Post. Bari is also the author of the award-winning book, The Art of Money: A Life-Changing Guide to Financial Happiness. Bari drops a wealth of knowledge, practical advice, and guidance in this episode.Mentioned during the show/resources:Bari Tessler https://baritessler.comEmployee Assistance Program (EAP) https://neelycounseling.com/eap-program-overview/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

58: Is Your Mental Health Messing with Your Money? w/ Bari Tessler

You may be thinking, what in the heck does my mental health have to do with my money. Well, if you ever engage in retail therapy or feel intense emotions about money, then it’s possible your money and your mental health are doing a dangerous dance. Most of us think that money is about our bank balance. Yes, of course, it is that too, but money is also strongly connected to emotions. The most important emotions in relation to money are fear, guilt, shame, and envy. It’s worth spending some effort to become aware of the emotions that are primarily tied to money for you because it’s estimated that approximately 90% of money decisions are made emotionally.On today's show, I’m joined by Berry Tessler. She’s a financial therapist, author, and founder of The Art of Money, a year-long money school and global community that blends practical financial tools with a nurturing, body-centered approach. Her work has been featured in publications such as Oprah.com, and The Huffington Post. Bari is also the author of the award-winning book, The Art of Money: A Life-Changing Guide to Financial Happiness. Bari drops a wealth of knowledge, practical advice, and guidance in this episode.Mentioned during the show/resources:Bari Tessler https://baritessler.comEmployee Assistance Program (EAP) https://neelycounseling.com/eap-program-overview/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

58: Is Your Mental Health Messing with Your Money w/ Bari Tessler?

We all know that the key to any long-lasting healthy relationship is good communication. But yet, time and time again, communication breakdowns are at the center of why people struggle to feel happy and fulfilled in their relationships. What makes this even more puzzling is that most of us believe we are great communicators. Often when couples have a relationship breakdown, they get stuck on trying to be right instead of trying to get the right outcome. While there are several factors that contribute to the success of any relationship, communication skills – or lack thereof – can either help or hinder one’s prospects. On today's show, I will share a relationship communication tool called “third layer conversations” to help you improve communication and restore disconnects in your relationship. You will learn:1.How to use the cycle of connection, disconnection, and reconnection to language communication breakdowns.2. How to use the third layer conversation process to smoothly move through relationship challenges.3. The four ingredients that need to be present for healthy, productive communication to occur.Mentioned during the show/resources:Employee Assistance Program (EAP) https://neelycounseling.com/eap-program-overview/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

57:Heal Relationship Disconnects w/Third Layer Conversations

One of our most powerful backstories develops from the relationship we have or had with our family of origin. How we think, interact, and react today can so often be traced directly back to experiences with family. Having a close-knit and supportive family can provide emotional support, economic well-being, and increase overall health. However, the opposite is also true. When family life is characterized by stress and conflict, the health of family members is usually negatively affected. Everything from eating disorders to poor self-worth may be an unwanted consequence of unhealthy family dynamics. Learning how to successfully navigate the ups and downs of family life is the key to raising healthy children and maintaining positive personal relationships.On today’s show, I’m joined by licensed clinical social worker and podcaster Megan Gipson. Megan is the host of “The Family Brain” podcast. Her show provides research, resources, tips, and life hacks to help keep the “Family Brain” healthy. In this episode, she shares the top five takeaways she’s learned after hosting one hundred episodes on this topic.Mentioned during the show/resources:The Family Brain Podcast w/Megan Gipson http://familybrainpodcast.comPsychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

56:The Family Brain Backstory w/Megan Gipson

Most of us are familiar with those nagging thoughts in the background of our minds that tell us we are not good enough, cast doubt on our goals, and make our accomplishments seem insignificant. These thoughts can sneak their way into our everyday routines to the point that we stop noticing their presence. They might sound like, "you're not that smart" or "you're unattractive." The inner critic can show up at work, while we brush our teeth, and even intrude on our ability to sleep.Our critical inner voice is typically formed from painful life experiences where we were made to feel unworthy. As time passes, we unconsciously accept these negative thoughts as the truth. Breaking up with the inner critic is easier said than done, but with the right tools, it's defiantly possible.On this episode of Drop the BS Podcast, I'll take you through a brief process to kick your inner critic to the curve. You will learn:1. How to recognize when your inner critic is on.2. How to use the power of self-compassion as a strategy.3. How to reframe sabotaging thoughts.Mentioned during the show/resources:Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

55: Dump the Inner Critic

I’d love to bottle the feeling of being happy. You know that feeling when everything is easy, your mood is light, and you're full of energy. Unfortunately, life often gets in the way of those happy feelings, and we can find ourselves in a slump. But did you know how you experience happiness boils down to the chemicals in your brain? Happiness, sadness, anger, anxiety – all can be traced to what’s going on inside your head. We no longer have to wait to feel happy we can take control and hack into our happy neurochemicals. Researchers have identified what chemicals control certain moods and what we can do to hack into those chemicals. The key to hacking our happiness chemicals can be found in the seemingly insignificant, mundane things we do every day. Things like getting sun exposure or taking your dog for a walk. These activities give our brain a boost of feel-good chemicals. On today’s show, we will explore how you can hack into your happiness chemicals by using a tool called DOSE. You will leave with concrete tools on how to live a little happier.Mentioned during the show/resources:DOSE hand out https://neelycounseling.com/dose/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

54: Hack Your Brain Chemicals to Boost Happiness

When it comes to your overall happiness, few forces are more destructive than emotional baggage. It can affect everything from how you show and express love to what you accept as fair pay for work. Emotional baggage is all the little insecurities that manifest over our lifetime as a result of our experiences or upbringing. Many of us focus on the baggage other people bring to the table and minimize our own baggage. The truth is we all have baggage, and this isn't a bad thing, especially if you know how it shows up and how to drop it off.On today’s show, we will explore the top four types of emotional baggage that can impact your level of happiness. You will leave with concrete tools on how to make sure your baggage does not impact you today.Mentioned during the show/resources:www.neelycounseling.comPsychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

53:Emotional Baggage Drop Off

Finding someone to spend the rest of your life with is a challenge for all of us. But if you’re of a certain age and trying to date online, it can feel like an emotional roller coaster. Everything from getting ghosted to feeling objectified can take a toll on your self-esteem. However, in today’s technology-driven world, online dating is one of the best options for working professionals to find a mate. In a study published by the Academy of Science, Rosenfeld researchers found that heterosexual couples are more likely to meet a romantic partner online than through personal contacts and connections. This study highlights the need for singles to master the art of dating smart and keeping their confidence while looking for their forever partner. On today's show, I’ve brought in Franka Baly to help me unravel this complicated topic. We discuss the ins and outs of learning to date smart and Franka shares the lesson she’s learned through her journey in the online dating arena. If your single or trying to encourage your single friends not to give up on the process, this is a must listen to episode. Mentioned during the show/resources:Franka Baly https://frankabaly.com Neely EAP https://neelycounseling.com/eap-program-overview/ Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

52: Dating Smart and Keeping Your Confidence Online

Life has a weird way of making the most amazing people feel like they’re not good enough. You know, not smart enough, pretty enough, or skinny enough. The Drop the BS podcast is dedicated to inspiring you through those moments. In each episode, seasoned therapist Dr. Kirleen Neely will take you in session to learn the tools you need to drop your backstory and live your best today story.

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Drop the BS w/ Dr. Kirleen

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