Pioneer Woman Mode, a term Maurice Harker, director of Life Changing Services, deemed for women who are struggling in the world of their spouses sexual misbehaviors. This term has been used throughout many of our podcasts, so we thought we'd dive a little deeper into explaining what really is "pioneer woman mode". "Pioneer Woman mode embodies the sacrifice that Mormon Utah Pioneer women made. These women were thrust from their homes, often with their children and little or no provisions. They were forced to walk, sometimes barefoot, pulling handcarts with their belongings, responsible for providing for their needs and those of their children. Pioneer Woman Mode refers to assessing the situation, and creating a safety plan for oneself. " -https://lifechangingservices.online/worth/common-recovery-terms-and-concepts/ We may find ourselves in this situation, and we want to be ready! Show Notes:  If you would like to read more about ideas of how you can prepare yourself, you can do that here https://lifechangingservices.online/worth/common-recovery-terms-and-concepts/ under the term "Pioneer Woman Mode" and "Packing Your Wagon". To join the Worth group that Naomi was talking about, you can do that here. https://lifechangingservices.online/worth/ President Dallin H. Oaks is quoted from his talk "Modern Pioneers" from 1989. You can read or listen to the full talk here. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1989/10/modern-pioneers?lang=eng

Healing with WORTH

#66 Pioneer Woman Analogy | Healing with WORTH

Are you feeling stuck in your betrayal trauma? Maybe don't understand why?  We have Tammy Gustafson back with us in this episode. She helps us go over the ways we might get stuck in our healing process from betrayal trauma. Below she lists the most common ways and a little insight into why: 1. Shame 2. Anger 3. Focusing on his emotions rather than hers 4. He's doing a lot of work, but there's no change 5. The question: Should I stay or should I go?  Show Notes: If you have not listened to episode 52, we encourage you to go back and do so. https://anchor.fm/healingwithworth/episodes/52-Interview-with-Therapist-Tammy-Gustafson--Healing-with-WORTH-e11uefj If you'd like to reach out to Tammy Gustafson, you can visit her website betrayalhealing.com. If you are feeling stuck and want to dive deeper, she also has a digital program on these five stuck points. There are not only videos going through everything, but it also has worksheets with each one of these where women can kind of do a deep dive of guided self-reflection to see "where am I at? What is my next step to help her get unstuck and to be able to continue to go on with her healing journey."

#65 Interview with Tammy Gustafson | Ways and Why We May Feel "Stuck" during The Healing Process | Healing with WORTH

What a great way to end our discussion on the ways betrayal trauma affects our relationship with God, priesthood leaders, and church culture! We do hope that you feel the spirit of healing as Kim Day gives us more insight into her personal story on this episode!  Kim opens up and talks about a personal experience she had when she first came into Worth as a participant. She had written a letter to a general authority about the struggles that she herself and others in the Worth program were experiencing with betrayal trauma. Soon after writing the letter, she was reminded of an old bible story that was an answer to many of her questions. Much to her surprise, she also later received a response to the letter she wrote.  Listen in to find more about it! Show Notes:  You can find the full story of Abraham and Isaac in Genesis 21-22 of the bible.  If you are interested in joining the Worth group, you can do that at https://lifechangingservices.online/worth/ free for the first 6 months.

#64 The Ways Betrayal Trauma Affects our Relationship with God, Priesthood Leaders, and Church Culture with Kim Day. Part 3 | Healing with WORTH

We have Worth therapist, Kim Day back with us talking about betrayal trauma and the way it affects our relationship with God, priesthood leaders, and church culture. In this episode, we dive a little deeper into the expectations we have around the church and possible ways of how to reconcile them.  First, starting off by praying to God if we should continue into marriage with a future spouse, but later finding out that there is a pornography addiction/sexual misbehaviors. We may start to question ourselves receiving revelation and the trust we have with God. Kim then gives a possible alternative to this whole experience!  Second, we touch on the topic of the expectations we might have for our priesthood leaders, more specifically our bishops. We as a church culture, want Bishops to fix all problems; including ours. That is their job right? Here in this episode, we find more about what their role might look like in this situation.  We realize that everyone's story is so different, so if you are experiencing these things, we have our Worth group to help at https://lifechangingservices.online/worth/

#63 The Ways Betrayal Trauma Affects our Relationship with God, Priesthood Leaders, and Church Culture with Kim Day. Part 2 | Healing with WORTH

Do we have expectations of what life was supposed to look like?  Especially when faith was such a core component and is such a core component of our identity. Here in this episode, Worth therapist, Kim Day talks about how this type of trauma really hits our identity in so many different ways. She lists at least 3 major reasons that our faith or our relationship with God or our emotions around a church, can feel strange or even threatened. Of the 100 women who answered our survey, more than 63% felt they had gone through a significant spiritual crisis as part of their journey–usually pretty close around their time of discovery. -Lisa Taylor, pastoral sexual addiction specialist When something goes wrong, or is painful, in close association with the gospel or a gospel principle or ideal, those can become fused. They can become linked, not always, but sometimes they can.  

#62 The Ways Betrayal Trauma Affects our Relationship with God, Priesthood Leaders, and Church Culture with Kim Day. Part 1 | Healing with WORTH

Are there resources for teen girls and women struggling with pornography?  Statistics show that 30% of women struggle with pornography.  This is not a "male" problem and women need help too.   We sat down with Aneladee Milne, director of Daughters of Light and Women Warriors of Light part of Life Changing Services to learn more about these programs and how they help teen girls and women.   This program helps with issues girls and women face.  Self-harm Depression Anxiety Eating disorders Low self-worth Risky behaviors Sexual misbehavior Overwhelming sadness if you would like more information or to contact Aneladee you can reach her on her website:  Daughters of Light | Therapeutic groups for young women (lifechangingservices.online)

#61: Interview with Aneladee Milne, Director of Daughters of Light and Women Warriors of Light | Healing with WORTH

One more re-release for summer before new episodes come back next week! We hope you've enjoyed them.  There was so much more we felt we wanted to cover on the topic of sexual abuse that we are back with clinicians Alana Gordon and Kimberly Day. Kim and Alana explain that we may have received unhealthy ideas or messages growing up about sexuality from our families of origin, church culture, or friends.   We discuss what is healthy sexuality vs unhealthy sexuality What are unhealthy messages regarding sexuality How to find a safe person to converse about sexuality in your relationship. What impact can this have on our recovery? Show Notes: You can find the episode Kim references on Healthy Sexuality (Mini Series #9) with Jeanne Vattuone here:  https://anchor.fm/healingwithworth/episodes/Healing-with-WORTH-Healthy-Sexuality-with-Jeanne-Vattuone-Mini-Series-on-Abuse-7-emak0u "Finding a way to explore this other paradigm of what does healthy sexuality look like where there is no pressure, there isn't coercion. It is completely consensual where there is mutual respect and partnership. Where you can be present in the moment and playful. Where you can be vulnerable and safe."

Abuse Mini Series #11: Sexual Abuse Part 2 | Healing with WORTH

Another re-release of some of our favorite episodes during this summer break with all of you. We will have new episodes for you in September!  We are back with clinicians Alana Gordon and Kimberly Day to discuss another aspect of abuse; Sexual Abuse.  Kim expresses that there is a difference between sexual impact caused by a spouse's addiction and unhealthy sexual behaviors versus sexual abuse.   We discuss how these two aspects can manifest in a relationship.  What is Sexual Abuse in a relationship?   What are the signs of sexual abuse and unhealthy sexuality in a relationship?   What impact can this have on our sexual relationship? Show Notes: You can find the episode Kim references on Healthy Sexuality (Mini Series #9) with Jeanne Vattuone here:  https://anchor.fm/healingwithworth/episodes/Healing-with-WORTH-Healthy-Sexuality-with-Jeanne-Vattuone-Mini-Series-on-Abuse-7-emak0u "Unhealthy sexuality is coercive or nonconsensual. And whenever you have that coercion or any degree of non-consent, that is unhealthy.  Non-consent absolutely is exploitive, it's abusive."

Abuse Mini Series #10: What Are The Signs Of Sexual Abuse In A Relationship? | Healing with WORTH

As we take a little summer break with all of you, we wanted to re-release some of our favorite episodes. We will have new episodes for you in September!  After our interview with Dr. Manning we wanted to further discuss the topic of creating safety through setting boundaries.   Living with a sex addict is risky behavior as they may be living a secret life unknown to us.   How do we create safety for ourselves?   We at times in our healing journey thought safety meant a physical safety, safety from harm, as well as having the physical necessities of life.  We need to take into consideration safety also means from verbal, emotional, and financial harm.   Assessing where our safety risks are, allows us to see where we need to create boundaries in our relationship.   Show Notes: A new round of WORTH YSA classes are starting May 4th.  We live in a world where pornography is pervasive.  If you wish you could prepare your daughter to be strong, empowered and have knowledge to have a healthy relationship this is the class for her!  Taught by Betrayal Trauma Coach Amie Woolsey.  Learn more about this class and register at https://lifechangingservices.online/worth/worth-ysa/

#46 How to Use Boundaries to Create Safety | Healing with WORTH

As we take a little summer break we wanted to re-release some of our favorite episodes.  We will have new episodes for you in September! We had the pleasure of having licensed clinician Jeanne Vattuone coming and speaking to us on the topic of healthy sexuality.  Jeanne breaks us out of our comfort zone as she addresses sensitive topics: What does healthy sexuality look like in a relationship?  What is mutual consent in a sexual relationship?   Jeanne has been a Licensed Clinical Social Worker since 1998.  She is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, trained with Dr. Patrick Carnes, and is a Certified Clinical Partner Specialist Candidate.  Jeanne works with sex addicts and their partners providing individual, group, and couples therapy.  She is also trained in EMDR.  Jeanne is a CSAT and a CCPS Supervisor.  To find out more and to work with Jeanne https://willowtreesantarosa.com/sex-addiction-therapist-contact-us/clinicians 

Abuse Mini Series #7: Healthy Sexuality with Jeanne Vattuone | Healing with WORTH

Come and meet Hali the Intake Coordinator--the voice on the other end of the phone. Hali started her path down this healing journey about 6 years ago when she found Life-Changing Services during a series of crises that happened in her marriage. She has trained under Maurice Harker and his team and worked in different capacities at Life Changing Services ever since. She is a Life Coach, a Betrayal Trauma Coach and she works on the WORTH team as the Intake Coordinator. (WORTH Stands for Woman of Rebirth Therapeutic Healing) In her capacity with the WORTH team, she is the voice on the other end of the phone when a new client has their intake phone call before getting started in the WORTH group.  She coaches our Worth Rising Worth YSA classes. Hali has a great passion for working with young people as well. She works with some of the youngest clients in the Sons of Helaman program as a Personal Warrior Trainer. She also leads a Young Women’s Group where she helps young girls gain Christ-Centered tools at an early age to stay true to who they are and realize their full potential. If you would like to work with Hali you can reach her at https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/team/ 

#17 Finding Yourself After Betrayal (Exclusive Interview) | Healing with WORTH

In this last interview with author Noelle McBride she shares with us that we are meant to experience joy in this life, in every facet of our lives, through trials, heartache, and repentance.  When we are in the midst of trials, trauma and heartache, what can this mean for us and how can we access this joy?   We are so grateful for Noelle coming and taking the time to share her journey and experience with us.  If you would like to learn more about Noelle and her workshop you can reach her at BellaNoelle Design – design a beautiful life. Show Notes: For more information and register for Noelle's workshop you can find more on her website. You can find Noelle's book here 

#60: Beauty For Ashes, Divorce and The Latterday Saint Woman with Noelle McBride. Part 3 | Healing with WORTH

Is joy possible when going through betrayal trauma, a separation, or divorce?  In this second interview with author Noelle McBride she shares with us how becoming a "ruthless editor of her life" helped her find joy going through divorce.  Often as latter-day saint women, we struggle with wondering where we belong in the great plan of happiness if our lives are looking very different from how that plan is typically perscribed.  Noelle shares with us what things she needed to remove from her life, and changes she made to find that joy and happiness.   If you haven't listened to the first episode with Noelle make sure to go back and listen to Episode 58. Show Notes: To read more about Noelle's experience you can find a copy of Noelle's book here Follow Noelle on Social Media or check out what other services she offers on her website Boundaries by Henry Townsend:  Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life: Cloud, Henry, Townsend, John: Amazon.com: Books

#59: Beauty For Ashes, Divorce and The Latterday Saint Woman with Noelle McBride. Part 2 | Healing with WORTH

We had the privilege of interviewing Noelle McBride to discuss her new book Beauty for Ashes, Divorce and The Latter-day Saint Woman.  As she talks about her divorce you can hear some of the many internal struggles that Christian women go through, especially women of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, due to our understanding of the eternal nature of families and marriages. We are often hanging on to these marriages at great expense to our psychological and even physical wellbeing. Even while there may be a need to end the marriage, it is a very difficult process to work through. Over the next couple of episodes, we are going to talk about her book and discuss some of the internal struggles that Noelle went through and how this process of battling moves us into a refining process. Show Notes: You can find Noelle's book on Amazon:  Amazon.com : Beauty From Ashes Noelle Mcbride

#58: Beauty For Ashes, Divorce and The Latterday Saint Woman with Noelle McBride. Part 1 | Healing with WORTH

After betrayal there are many internal struggles that a mother faces as she tries to meet her own emotional needs and then balance those with the needs of her children.  In the hard moments we "should ourselves" or in other words give ourselves guilt trips about all the things we think we should be doing.  That can be pretty common with women in general, but then you throw the mom guilt in with betrayal trauma and it can heighten destructive unhealthy patterns.  We are so grateful for KayLee Dunn coming on the podcast to explain how betrayal trauma affects mothering and how to connect with our children and balance our own healing.  We love KayLee's honest and realistic approach to mothering while dealing with betrayal trauma.  We hope that you will feel validated and uplifted as we did talking with her! Kaylee is an EMDR therapist and she specializes in betrayal, trauma, and unwanted sexual behaviors. She provides tele-health therapy services to women and men in Utah and Arizona.  She also co facilitates a weekly live group discussion through her free Facebook community called Awake Resilience From Betrayal. Kaylee is also a mom to triplets who are seven and twins who are five years old.  Show Notes: Follow Kaylee on instagram @kayleecdunn and join her free private facebook community:  Awake Resilience From Betrayal

#57: How betrayal trauma affects motherhood with KayLee C Dunn | Healing with WORTH

Heal from betrayal with WORTH. Each week we interview therapists, talk about healthy tools of recovery, and hear women's stories of hope. Our Christ-centered focus combines the science of recovery with the healing power of God. We are a safe place for you to learn, grow, and find the strength you need to move forward and feel peace again. Questions? Email us WORTH@lifechangingservices.org

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Healing with WORTH

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