How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 241... so get over here! Mortal Kombat (2021) tells the story of 'Cole Young', a failed MMA fighter who has a strange birthmark. The birthmark automatically means he is a champion of earth, and must defend Earth Realm in the last of ten consecutive martial arts tournaments against 'Outworld' - but not if the Outworld team and its fearsome assassins have anything to say about it! We talk about the tournament that never was; the benefits of an assassin picking the best moment. means and moniker; and question some interdimensional treaty-writing decisions. All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: The fate of Earth is in OUR hands. Next time, we're caught in a trap: It's Spiral: from the Book of Saw (2021). Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

How to Survive

How to Survive: Mortal Kombat (2021)

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 240...and there's nothing left. A Quiet Place Part II (2021) continues the story started in John Krasinski's A Quiet Place, as Evelyn and her children struggle for survival in a world where a single errant noise could mean a violent death. The family meet Emmett, a fellow survivor, but he isn't convinced that what's left of the world is worth saving. We wonder if this is one of the best horror sequels of all time, discuss swamp people and the value of socks, ponder which noises would make our heads flap open, and talk about our about our experiences making our long-awaited return to the cinema. All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: the people that are left, they're not the kind of people worth saving. Next time it's a fight to the death in Simon McQuoid's Mortal Kombat (2021). Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

How to Survive: A Quiet Place Part II (2021)

 It's episode 239...and would you look at that?   Greenland (2020) tells the story of John Garrity, who gathers with his estranged wife and son to watch as the Clarke comet flies past Earth. Turns out the boffins back at NASA got their calculations a bit wrong and it doesn't so much fly past Earth as smash straight into it. Can the Garritys make it to emergency shelter in the titular Greenland before it's too late?   We discuss perhaps the most stressful diaster movie journey of all time, ponder the ideal locations for United States emergency shelters, wonder aloud about the usefulness of a structural engineer after the world has ended and ultimately ask whether you should even bother? All that plus the ultimate Tom Cruise Dad quiz.   All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?   Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: My friend Teddy says your life flashes in front of your eyes when you die. I think it would be better if it did that while you lived. That way, you could see all the good memories and be happy.   Next time we're keeping as silent as possible for A Quiet Place Part II (2021)   Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod 

How to Survive: Greenland (2020)

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 238...and these are dangerous times. Godzilla vs. Kong (2021) tells the story of...well you can probably guess. There's about 40 minutes of story and 40 minutes of fighting and somehow the film is still 2 hours long. Make of that what you will. It's time for titans, punch-ups on battleships, Hollow Earth (theory and practice), anti-gravity helicopters and building-sized ancient axes. What more could you ask for? A hastily put together quiz? You got it! All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: there can't be two alpha Titans. Next time - it's Gerard Butler vs the apocalypse in Greenland (2021). Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod 

How to Survive: Godzilla vs. Kong (2021)

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 236...and I can't shake the feeling that you must have saved me for something greater than this. Saint Maud (2020) follows Maud, a palliative nurse and evangelical Roman Catholic who believes its her Godly duty to save the soul of her athiest patient Amanda. However, as her behaviour begins to spiral out of control, we learn more about Maud's troubled past and her grandiose ideas for how to achieve Sainthood.  We break down one of the most assured horror movie debuts for many years, question the extent to which the film is about religion at all, and answer all the burning questions about the film's dramatic conclusion.  All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I hope you will reveal your plan for me soon. Next time - it's time for some good, clean fun with Possessor (Brandon Cronenburg, 2020). Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod 

How to Survive: Saint Maud (2020)

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 235...and I just think it's all a little bit creepy. Brahms: The Boy 2 (2020) tells the story of Liza and her son, Jude. After undergoing a trauma, they head to a country house to recover. They find a doll in the woods, and that's when it gets REALLY scary.  We discuss the difficulty of living up to the legacy of the world's shittest twist; the worst material to use for a suit of armour; and a the appropriate thing to do with a croquet mallet when a man is pointing a gun at your family. All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: He wants to live with us, forever. Next time, laughs galore - it's Saint Maud (2020).  Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

How to Survive: Brahms: The Boy 2 (2020)

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 235 (despite what we might say in the intro)...and he calls out to the ones who need him -- the damaged ones. Brahms: The Boy II (2020), unfortunately, continues and expands upon the wondeful story of Brahms, the doll first seen in The Boy (2016). Following a traumatic event, a family moves to the grounds of the mysterious Heelshire Estate in the hopes of a relaxing break. Little do they know what bland, frustrating and confusing events that will befall them. We discuss dolls, a creepy groundskeeper who could probably throw a kettle over a pub, advise proper croquet mallet target acquisition and pick apart one of the most baffling twists in all the films we've ever watched. All that plus Joe's 'Boys in movies' quiz.  All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: sometimes it's fun to be scared. Next time - we're watching the uplifting, hilarious Saint Maud (2020). Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

How to Survive: Brahms: The Boy II (2020)

*Apologies for the delay to this episode. We really did intend to kick off 2021 with a more rigorous schedule but unfortunately, as has been the case for many this last year, some less-than-ideal life events got in the way. Furthermore, neither of us were in the best circumstances when we recorded this, which may well be reflected in energy levels (or lack thereof) in the podcast. We'll be back and more bushy-tailed very soon.* How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 234...and we have both seen the same inhuman spirit. The Nun (2018) expands the incredibly detailed and worthwhile Conjuring meta-Universe to tell the origin story of Valak, the nefarious demonic Nun from The Conjuring 2 (2016), a film which neither of Chris or Joe have seen.  We discuss Conjurings, convents, the Nun-based horror we wish this was, and ponder how much fatal exorcising can you let your main character get away with before he gets his come-uppance? The answer, it turns out, is plenty. Plus, stay tuned for Chris' diabolically terrible Nun Pun quiz. All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I think being here is a mistake. Next time - we're going back to the infamous Heelshire Estate for Brahms: The Boy II (2020) Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

How to Survive: The Nun (2018)

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's Christmas!...and you want the moon? Just say the word, and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. It's a Wonderful Life (1946) is perhaps the definitive uplifting Christmas film, and so what better way to sign off a universally terrible year than by listening to two smug pricks picking it to pieces? Downtrodden and destitute, George Bailey contemplates suicide. As his guardian angel learns about George, we see the highs and lows of a life full of the ordinary ups and downs, pains and joys the world can foist upon you, and learn that however bad things seem, cheer, love and support can be found in your loved ones, your community, and your hope for a brigher future. Unless you're Mr Potter. Join us as we get painfully earnest at the end of an awful year, hail the gold standard of classical filmmaking, share our heartbreak for cinema's most honest and beloved protagonist and hope that wherever you are, whoever you are, this podcast finds you healthy and happy, with better days ahead. All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: You see George, you've really had a wonderful life. Don't you see what a mistake it would be to just throw it away? Next time it's back to our regularly scheduled programming with The Nun (2018). Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

How to Survive: It's a Wonderful Life (1946)

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 233...and don’t take it personally. They’re just trying to figure out if you’re a gold-digging whore. Ready or Not (2019) tells the story of newly-married Grace, who wants to make a good impression on her new husband Daniel's relatives - the mysterious Le Domas family, owners of the Le Domas boardgaming Monopoly. As is only fitting, before the happy couple start their Life together, they have a traditional family game with the newlyweds on their wedding night, but this game is less Ticket to Ride and more Ticket to Die. Can Grace Scrabble around and survive the night, or will she end up another victim of the Le Domas' arcane Operation? We cut into a slice of (sort of) wedding-themed horror, family traditions and the adherance thereof, cults, Colts, 100-second counts, and whether one should ever make a deal with the devil. Plus, stick around at the end for Joe's attempts to return to Return to Castle Wolfenstein. All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: She’ll never be one of us. Next time - we did it to ourselves. It's The Nun (2018). Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

How to Survive: Ready or Not (2019)

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 232...and should pale death, with treble dread, make the ocean caves our bed, God who hears the surges roll, deign to save the suppliant soul. The Lighthouse (2019) tells the absolutely fine and normal story of Thomas's Wake and Howard, two wickies with the task of operating a remote lighthouse for a month off the coast of 19th Century New England. But can they keep their fragile friendship intact, or will the isolation take its toll? Also featuring mermaids and tentacles. We discuss what we think actually happens in Robert Eggers' The Witch follow-up, the dangers of cabin fever, eldritch horrors and marxism, but mainly the extremely subtle and subtextual homoerotic tension of two grown men living and constantly wanking inside a big dick. All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: You're gonna spill your beans. Next time, it's the best day of our lives as we watch Ready or Not (2019). Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

How to Survive: The Lighthouse (2019)

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's time for a bonus episode...and I'm Mrs. Voorhees, an old friend of the Christys'! We turned 5 years old back in August and marked it by...doing absolutely nothing! So here we are, 3 months later, revisiting the film that started it all - Friday the 13th (1980). If you didn't know, Friday the 13th tells the story of Camp Crystal Lake, and a group of teenagers who arive to help renovate the camp ahead of its grand re-opening, 30 years after a brutal double murder. What could go wrong? We revisit a classic and ask ourselves, fresh from watching 250 other horror movies, is it any good, does it deserve its reputation (good and bad), and have the intervening years given us any new insights?  All of which leads to one important question: why aren't we cracking on with the films we're supposed to be watching? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Guess I always wanted to work with children. I hate when people call them kids. Sounds like little goats. But when you've had a dream as long as I have, you'll do anything. Back next time with our previously scheduled programming with Robert Eggers The Lighthouse (2020). Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod  

Anniversary Special - Revisiting Friday the 13th (1980)

 How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod   It's episode 231...and "There are no approved quotes yet for this movie" - Rotten Tomatoes   Host (2020) tells the story of a group of friends who hold a seance over Zoom during the 2020 COVID-19 lockdown. Before long (no really, the movie is only an hour long), a bad spirit is summoned and some video-conferencing-based-haunting ensues.   We discuss how restrictions can encourage creativity when it comes to horror; the importance of respecting the experts (particularly when there are dangerous spirits around); and pay tribute to that most overlooked of survival tips: turning on the lights.   All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?   Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: the movie is truly only an hour long. So good. We should watch it every week.   Next time, we're hunkering down for The Lighthouse (2019).   Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod 

How to Survive: Host (2020)

 How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod   It's episode 230...and there is a dead man at the end of this line.   Heat (1995) tells the doomed story of star-crossed lovers Neil McCauley and Detective Vincent Hanna, two kindred spirits torn asunder by their respective loves of doing crimes and stopping people what do crimes. Set on the seedy, steamy streets of 90s Los Angeles, can the two overcome their differences and finally be together, or will it all end in an avoidable tragedy behind an electrical substation on the tarmac at LAX?   We watch possibly the greatest acting double-header of all time, discuss why it's unwise to watch the loudest gunfight in movie history with a sleeping infant upstairs, and question whether a movie criminal who is famous for his guiding principles is actually a weak-willed hypocrite.   All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?   Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: She's got a...GREAT ASS!   Next time we're checking out 2020's Zoom-set remote horror hit Host!    Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod 

How to Survive: Heat (1995)

 How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod   It's episode 229...and What did he say? Badda-beep, badda-bap, badda-boop, badda-beep.   It's The Godfather (1972). Michael Corleone is back from the war, and looking for love - but when his father is injured in a work-related incident, it falls to Michael to step in and whip the family business into shape.    We set aside all vendettas to hand out marriage advice for the masses; top tips for managing an unarmoured toll-booth; and advising anyone who will listen to take advantage of the opportunities life gives them.   All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?   Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I made my bones when you were going out with cheerleaders!   'Movies We Haven't Seen / Crime Drama / 3-Hour Long / Al Pacino / Good Film Season' continues next week with Heat (1995).   Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod 

How to Survive: The Godfather (1972)

'How to Survive' is a film review podcast with a twist. The discussion centres around one key question: 'How would you survive in this movie?' Each episode centres around one classic movie. Often, they are horror movies, but there are also lots of thrillers, action movies, adventure movies and the occasional romantic drama for good measure. If you've ever rolled your eyes when the victim goes outside alone; tutted when the killer returns from the dead; or shouted 'DON'T GO IN THERE!', this is the podcast for you.

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How to Survive

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