Today, let’s look at the childhood message for type 4: It almost seems impossible to think of a child hearing these words and the truth is….these exact words were most likely, never spoken but somehow the message was received that “It’s not ok to be too functional or too happy.” Take just a few seconds to FEEL that deep inside. Imagine how that feels….I CAN’T BE TOO HAPPY. I Can’t DO too much…Too much…..Too happy. What creates this feeling of having to be less than you are? That if anyone truly knew how deeply you FEEL and how you see such depth to the world it would be TOO MUCH for them? That YOU are just TOO MUCH and thus, feel so out of place….longing to just be authentically YOU? Breath in this truth…..You ARE seen and LOVED for ALL that you. You are NOT too much. You don’t have to hide the beauty of ALL you offer to this world. Listen deeply to that message  #Enneagram4 #Enneagram #EnneagramPodcast #EnneagramChildhoodmessage #DeepListening  

Love Thy Enneagram Number

Deep Listening Enneagram Type 4

Who doesn’t love being applauded for a job well done? And which of us as parents or adults don’t love applauding the young - sometimes literally clapping after a performance? That’s natural and it’s necessary to encourage achievement. This is part of life…competition, endurance, challenge and success. But when the trophy doesn’t come, when the grades fall, when the job is lost and success is no where to be seen…when the applause has stopped…..what does the voice inside say? Today, if you are an Enneagram type 3 or you love a type 3, listen deeply and compassionately to this message as if a child is saying this….“It’s not okay to have my own feelings and my own identity.” Can you hear that sweet boy or girl saying….”I’ll be what you want me to be and you’ll be so proud. I’ll be the best for you and I know you’ll love me, right?” Dear Enneagram type 3 - You have carried this message to long. It no longer serves you and it’s time to let it go. Breath in this pure truth….”I am loved and accepted today. I WAS loved before I ever put on the first mask to hide my true feelings. I am free to drop anything that covers my true identity which is simply and wonderfully ME. #Enneagram #Enneagram3 #EnneagramType3 #DeepListening #EnneagramChildhoodMessage  

Deep Listening For Enneagram Type 3

What was the childhood message for enneagram type 2s? It was……“It’s not ok to have your own needs.” How did that message get embedded in the unconscious mind of a young type 2? Every childhood is different and every child interprets their experiences differently. Each of us has a filter through which we understand the world around us. But young type 2s processed that early data and concluded: “I’ll be loved if I sacrifice my own needs for the needs of others.” So Their self-love became conditional upon their earning a sense of worth through taking care of others. How soul crushing. The weight of that burden is too much to carry. Breath. Empty your heart and suffer less. This message that you are only wanted if you are sacrificing your needs for others is NO LONGER SERVING YOU. Say it out loud…."The needs and desires of my heart are my birthright." Breath in that truth. Empty your heart of the suffering you carry day after day of believing you aren’t worthy of love and belonging unless…. There is no “unless”. You don’t need to earn love….you ARE love and you are LOVED and wanted - no strings attached. #Enneagram, #EnneagramPodcast, #EnneagramType2, #Enneagram2, #DeepListening, #ChildhoodMessage

Deep Listening Enneagram Type 2

What is Deep Listening? It comes from the teachings of Buddhist Monk ticht nacht hahn. He says Deep Listening (or Compassionate Listening) is the kind of listening that can help relieve the suffering of another person. You listen with only one purpose: to help him or her to empty his heart. ... You just listen with compassion and help him to suffer less. Take a few seconds to feel the power of those words….to empty their heart so they can suffer less. Now….feel the shift when we say…”To empty my own heart so I can suffer less.” I’d like to offer the suggestion that we LISTEN to our own voice…starting with the inner childhood messages for each of our types. Oh way be adults but we carry memories and messages from the very beginning of our lives. The childhood messages may come from a loved one, a parental figure, a teacher or a friend. Yet, the words themselves may have never actually been spoken and even beyond actually being said at all, we, as children, often create the belief in our own fragile minds through a filter we’ve already begun to create from our limited life experience. But early on, we all create a foundational message from which we begin to create our lives. For Enneagram type 1 the message was “It’s not ok to make mistakes.” Type 1s….who told you it’s not ok to make mistakes? And how did you feel when you do? Ashamed? Afraid? Who told you were anything less than you perfect love? Who made you feel that being LOVED depended on your being good? And who decided for you what “GOOD” looked like. Oh sweet child….you are GOOD because you are a living. Can you empty your heart just a little bit today? Can you listen DEEPLY with a loving voice? Say it out loud….I am not ashamed. I am not afraid. It’s not up to me to prove my worth or my goodness. I am Good. #DeepListening #Enneagram #EnneagramPodcast #Enneagram1 #Enneagramtype1 #EnneagramChildhoodMessage #Mistakes #SufferLess #EmptyYourHeart #SelfTalk

Deep Listening For Enneagram Type 1

What do we do? What happens when you don’t know where you want to be but you just know you don’t want to be where you are? My friend, Professional Business Coach, John Alan Turner, says….“It’s not enough to know where you don’t want to be. You have to know where you're going.” I have been PASSIONATE about the Enneagram for many, many years. 12 to be exact. Do I know all there is to know about the it after all these years? Not remotely….WHO DOES? No one - it’s a life time of unfolding into greater understanding. And I LOVE teaching the nuts and bolts of the Enneagram and how our personalities show up within our types. But what I truly LOVE is seeing someone have that light bulb moment and sense a freedom they hadn’t felt before. I LOVE information and if you’re in the HEAD triad you can just FEED endlessly on information. But I LOVE people and know that simply being passionate about anything can actually be oppressive. You can belittle and actually do more harm than good to someone with whatever information you’re passionate about if you don’t have COMPASSION. Passion + Compassion = Purpose. Just like Passion without Compassion can be ineffective, information without transformation is useless. I knew that if I was going to take the necessary steps to move OUT of the space I was in and into a new space I needed to guidance….someone who understood where I wanted to go and could help me recalculate. I needed a Guide - A Coach. I’ve been in an Enneagram Coaching apprenticeship program for several months and I’m so excited to actually KNOW where I’m going with a map of how to get there! I connected with someone who has given me guided direction…someone who understood my desire to take my knowledge combined with my heart for helping people free themselves from whatever pain point is keeping them from flourishing, to create a way to take my passion and marry it with compassion. This means a lot of changes are coming in a few months. I’ll be rebranding…a new name with a clear message. I’ll be using my years of consuming information that have lead to my own transformation and my ALMOST 63 years of life experience to help others who may know they are STUCK and want a way out. OR maybe you just realize where you are in life is no longer fulfilling and you need a little help recalculating. I’m excited to be able to confidently say….I can help you. #Enneagram #EnneagramCoach #Passion #Compassion #Enneagram1 #Enneagram2 #Enneagram3 #Enneagram4 #Enneagram5 #Enneagram6 #Enneagram7 #Enneagram8 #Enneagram9

Recalculating

The Passion for For type 1s is ANGER. Type 1s are often called the Reformers and hold themselves to very high standards which is a good quality, right? SO…the deceitfulness of the passions is that it seems GOOD to be conscientious and ethical, with a strong sense of right and wrong. And being ANGRY goes against what seems to be GOOD. So they resist being angry. And when others don’t seem to hold the same standards of goodness then that anger that they resist builds. But 1s are even harder on themselves so that anger turns inward so often if they believe they haven’t lived up to their own standards. The relentless demand of the inner critic to be good and do good at all times and to set the standard for what is good, replaces personal needs and shuts down feelings which, if left unaddressed will come out in the form of resentment. Type 2s…The Passion is Pride …..This seems so opposite of what we see in type 2s who are so giving of their love, their time, knowing what everyone else needs. In fact, they are so focused on others that they take PRIDE in seeming to not have needs of their own. THEY see themselves as THE SOURCE of what others need. It seems GOOD to be so servant-hearted but when they resist acknowledging they have needs, having denied their own in service to others, they are actually denying others the gift of service. For type 3s the passion is Self-deceit or conforming to what they think is necessary to be SEEN as successful or WORTHY. 3s are often called “Shape shifters” because they will take on the role of what they think OTHERS want them to be. It seems GOOD to be success-driven and even GOOD to be adaptable but they resist resting in their authenticity and resist knowing they are fully loved apart from any external success. The passion of type 4 is Envy but this envy is a internal sense of a lack of being whole…like something about themselves is inherently missing. They tend to believe everyone else has that missing thing. They long for authenticity which leads to the desire to be unique because they actually believe they ARE unique because others have what they believe they are missing. 4s are SO in touch with this FEELING of deficiency that they seek value in an idealized external experiences or work or a relationship. It seems GOOD to BE AUTHENTIC and not conform but they resist knowing there’s nothing missing because they are so identified with that image. It becomes a never ending loop if left in an unhealthy stage. Type 5’s passion is AVARICE but in Enneagram language it is not a desire for obtaining money or possessions but of resources .They retreat inward and hoard their time and energy. This inward focus allows the Type Five ample time to focus on ideas and acquiring knowledge. That doesn’t seem like a negative thing, right? I mean…isn’t it GOOD to know what you’re talking about - to gain knowledge and to not just throw your time and energy away? It can be good for sure. BUT…they worry that if they share too much of themselves, they won’t have enough left. SO…in resisting connection by retreating inward, but it also builds a wall between them and others. As they pull back from external connections, they also become detached from their emotional self. The passion for type 6 is FEAR. They are sometimes referred to as THE LOYALISTS - great people to have on your team, right? Type 6s are so great at anticipating what could go wrong. They look for where danger could be lurking or what problems MIGHT occur at any time. We NEED these people who are cautious and security-oriented. If I’m going on a wilderness trek that’s who I want to go with! But they can become so focused on what could go WRONG that they become suspicious and filled with self-doubt. So what seems GOOD can be paralyzing. For Type 7s the passion is Gluttony. In this context it’s a almost insatiable craving to experience ALL THE THINGS. 7s see the positive in most things and are typically focused on being joyful and happy. 7s deepest fear is being trapped in emotional pain so they try to avoid anything that causes pain or sadness. In fact, they see their worth is in BEING the positive person. It seems GOOD to look for the positive, to be Joyful, to NOT dwell in pain. And so....they resist what is actually before them in the present and deny that they experience pain. This also makes them emotionally unavailable to anyone else who might need them in time of grief. And what happens? They disconnect from their heart and my body, rationalize away the pain and escape to a place in the future where there is no sadness. But that place doesn’t actually exist and instead of feeling FULL of all aspects of life, they are left feeling a hunger and emptiness through what appeared to be GOOD. Type 8s passion is called LUST which isn’t just about sexuality although it can include it. 8s have a desire for INTENSITY in whatever they do. They take the initiative and make things happen! They see the world as unjust and power imbalanced. So they feel they need to dominate so they are not controlled. They are the most assertive type in the enneagram. 8s want to be self-reliant, to prove their strength and resist weakness, to be important in their world. 8s are often referred to as THE PROTECTOR. They are often champions for the underdog. That sounds SO GOOD! But in their attempt to control and NOT BE controlled they lose touch with vulnerability. They can see it as weakness and so they resist letting their feelings be seen. Make no mistake, though…8s are very feeling people but keep up the powerful façade so they won’t be hurt. Type 9’s passion is called Sloth. So…what does ‘sloth’ mean in Enneagram language? It is sense of inertia to YOURSELF….a falling asleep to your OWN passions, abilities, desires, needs, and worth by merging with others. Why have type 9s been called the PEACEMAKERS? Because they strive to maintain peace both internally and externally. So, this means avoiding conflict at all costs! You will often read about type 9s’ desire for Peace and Harmony like they are one and the same. But they are not. I think that 9s - like all of us, actually, would love to live in HARMONY with the world but we settle for NO-CONFLICT. The tendency is to GO ALONG with others to avoid not having peace. So - where is the deceitfulness of Good here? Type 9s often make great mediators because they have an ability to see all sides of a situation. How great is that? They generally have a calming effect on people, they are usually non-judgmental, easy going. But, as we have quoted throughout this series, “what you resist not only persists, but grows stronger.” When you resist your own needs to accommodate others’ it will result in unhealthy relationships - maybe even a codependent relationship. Avoiding conflict with others keeps Nines from being fully present in relationships. Avoiding internal conflict leads to inertia and self-forgetting. When so much of their focus is on other’s then there isn’t a lot of energy to take care of your own. 9s can become passive-aggressive and resentment builds because they have so much to contribute to the world but taking on the role of THE PEACEMAKER keeps them from taking action on their own desires. Once again…this is the loop that we all get in when we don’t acknowledge our suffering. We are deceived into believing our GOOD WORKS will equal being LOVED. #Enneagram #EnneagramPassions #DeceitfulnessOfGood #SelfDeceit #Enneagram1 #Enneagram2 #Enneagram3 #Enneagram4 #Enneagram5 #Enneagram6 #Enneagram7 #Enneagram8 #Enneagram9  

The Deceitfulness of Good Conclusion

 As we continue to look at the deceitfulness of good through the enneagram perspectives we see how the passion, which comes from the latin word 'passeo' which means 'to suffer', of each type is tied to an attempt to resist the suffering by doing good. But, in the words of Carl Jung, what you resist not only persists, but will grow in size. When we resist confronting what makes us suffer it will only lead to deeper suffering, loss of self love and loss of relationships. In this episode we look at Enneagram types 4,5,6 and 8. We are saving types 7 and 9 for next week as those are our types and we'll explore how this journey has opened up such growth for ourselves, as individuals, as well as our marriage.  #worldviews #personalgrowth #enneagram #deceitfulness #spiraldynamics #enneagram4, #enneagram5 #enneagram6 #enneagram8 #enneagrampassions #evolutionarygrowth 

Deceitfulness of Good - Part 3

"What we resist not only persists, but will grow in size." ~ Carl Jung There are a couple of different words for what each Enneagram type resists - but typically they are referred to as The Passion or The Vice. So when I first began hearing about the Passions I was confused because Passion sounded good - like something you’re really good at or something you really love. But, in this context Passion comes from the Latin word Passio which meas TO SUFFER. I absolutely prefer PASSION over VICE because the definition of Vice is ‘moral fault or wickedness'. Do you FEEL the difference? What we would call a fault or an act of wickedness, a vice, seems to be an outward action where are PASSION is inward…it’s what we HOLD INSIDE. It might even seem GOOD to suffer in silence or even deny our suffering. We will look at Enneagram types 1, 2 and 3 in this episode. #Enneagram #EnneagramPassions #Enneagram1 #Enneagram2 #Enneagram3 #SpiralDynamics #Worldviews

The Deceitfulness of Good - Part II

My guest today is performance poet, Joel McKerrow. To try and describe what that means and what he does in a these show notes would be like asking me to describe what crème brûlée taste like. I can’t. You must experience it. I’m so excited to share his latest project, HUMAN - An Exploration of the Inner Life. Through the visual arts, the zoological, the poetic and the musical, HUMAN is an exploration of the drive that makes us...well...human. With a philosophical base in the identity framework of the enneagram (plus a few extras), this is your chance to explore your deeper desires, your compulsions, your hopes and your fears and how they shape your life for better and for worse. Joel McKerrow is an award winning writer, speaker, educator, artist, creativity specialist and, having performed for hundreds of thousands of people throughout the world, is one of Australia’s most successful, internationally touring, performance poets. Based out of Melbourne, Australia he is the Artist Ambassador for the aid and development organisation ‘TEARFUND Australia’ and was the co-founder of community arts organisation, 'The Centre for Poetics and Justice' (2010-2013). Joel was the third ever Australian representative at the Individual World Poetry Slam Championships in the USA and is a highly sought after speaker at conferences and festivals all over the world. He has four published books and four spoken word/music albums, is a successful play-wright and is a co-founder/host of the The Deep Place: On Creativity and Spirituality Podcast. I hope you’ll allow yourself to take in the visual along with the spoken word by visiting his website and choosing your animal symbol, seeing the meaning of each one while you hear the exploration of the inner life of each of type. To be HUMAN is to live in tension with oneself. It's the way we want to be fully known and the fear that stops us. It's the ache of our longing and the hope of our finding. It’s the pain of our sorrow and the joy of our love. It’s the dark that hides and the light that reveals. It's the despair and it is the beauty. This inner conflict, or perhaps truer to say, this inner confluence, is where the wellspring of what impels us overflows into our everyday realities. Ask the animals, they know. #Enneagram #EnneagramPodcast #JoelMcKerror #Poetry #PerformancePoet #creativewriting #AustralianPoet  #WorldPoetrySlam #Enneagram3  

Joel McKerrow, HUMAN and Enneagram 3

We return to the podcast world today in a new series. The topic is the Deceitfulness of Good. We’re approaching this subject from multiple perspectives. Denée will be coming form the 9 perspectives of the Enneagram and Doug will be coming from theology and world religion using the Spiral. The human being is so complex in our make up. We are the sum total of many different elements and life conditions. All of us experience transformation in some way every day of our lives. The past year has been challenging on many different levels. We will discuss the global human longing for moving from chaos to unity. All of our tools for transformation must include our individual and personal growth as well as our growth in relationships, groups and collectives. The more tools we have the more likely we can experience positive transformation no matter what challenges present themselves. #Enneagram #SpiralDynamics #Integral #UnityConsciousness #Transreligious #Spirituality #SpiritualButNotReligious #universalidentity #UniversalHumanity #Transformation

The Decitfulness of Good - Part 1

Courage is knowing it might hurt and doing it anyway. Stupidity is the same. And that’s why life is hard. When we are younger and trying to figure out how to….. *Survive in the world *Find our voice in the world *Learn what love is *Discover our place in the collectives in which we live….we test what parts of the expressions of our personality work and don’t work. It’s a subconscious action that starts in early childhood. *I cry…I get fed. *I perform…I get applause. *I give you my toys…you give me love. *I don’t question your authority….you give me security. ? But when we get stuck in our default ways, when we continue to live UNCONSCIOUSLY, then we find ourselves running into that proverbial brick wall. And guess what? It hurts!! *I cried - no one came running to me. *I performed - no one applauded. *I gave you my love - you didn't give love back. *I questioned - you told me I no longer belong. ? What was adorable in childhood becomes ridiculous in adulthood. What worked in junior high school doesn’t work in the work place. What took COURAGE as a teenager, when it served our developing sense of self, is sometimes seen as weakness (dare I say, stupidity) in adulthood. This is the 'unworkable'. That place of choosing to either keep allowing the pain to exist or pivot and question...to turn off autopilot. The book I reference is Essential Wholeness by Eric Lyleson. #Enneagram #EssentialWholeness #Unworkable #stagesofdevelopment #stagesofchildbirth #Psychotherapy

The Unworkable

I think we can all agree that our words matter. They can harm or help. They can inspire or destroy. What you say today isn’t confined to this moment in time. We may not be Instagram Influencers but we are absolutely influencing more than we realize. I referenced my latest blog post and you can read it here: The Accidental Mentor I also quoted Kaylee Friedman, M.A., LAC  IG @Kayleerosetherapy #Enneagram, #Influencer, #InstagramInfluencer #SelfDevelopment, #Therapy, #Healers, #Psychotherapy, #Developmental, #EnneagramCoach, #EnneagramTeacher

An Influencer That Matters

I think the Universe told me to take a time out or, as my granddaughter once said, "I'm just going to sit in this chair and think about it." She was three and who knows what she needed to sit and think about but for a lot of us...we had a lot to think about during this long, long year of the Pandemic. I could not bring myself to do much podcasting until now. It's time to get back to doing what I love and I love podcasting! But I love a lot of things and another one of them is writing so let me share a story that I call "And The Winner Is". In this episode I mention two amazing people who I've come to adore and admire. You can find out more about their work here: The Enneagram Workshop - Vanessa Fernandez Morgan Harper Nichols You can find both on Instagram and Facebook as well.

I Accidentally Won A Radio Contest

We are excited to share this information about the upcoming November meeting of the Georgia Chapter of the International Enneagram Association. While we miss the personal fellowship we are excited to be able to come together via Zoom. Registration is open to everyone! If you are a member of the Georgia Chapter there is no registration fee and if you are not a member it's only $10.00 . You can register: IEA Georgia Registration Page "Spiral Dynamics and the Enneagram are two distinct models that integrate in a unique way. Spiral Dynamics is a system describing the function and structure of various cultural worldviews. It gives valuable insight into understanding the dynamics in seemingly divisive perspectives. The Enneagram of Personality offers unique insight into the dynamics of the relationships we value with others by exploring our own individual perspectives. Common to both of these systems is the emphasis on wholeness and integrating overlooked components to our experience individually and collectively. We expect this program to inform growth in ways that enhance our current practices and expand the applications of these practices into the various and distinct groups that compose our culture. By examining the type of organization and the values that distinguish them, we may understand our personal alignment with and our role within these organizations. This understanding contributes to the betterment of the collective from a place of personal strength and development. Knowing our orientation to what is around us, allows us to contribute personally to real change in the collective daily contexts in which we contribute.”

IEA Georgia Presents Spiral Dynamics & The Enneagram

We've all heard the call to action..."Check on your strong friends" and while that is an absolutely great thing to do, today I'd like to encourage you to check on all your friends. And not just friends you hang out with but maybe even people you follow on social media. We can be each other's life support even if we don't even get to spend a day together in person. We ARE connected. But we are hurting...every single one of us at some point are hurting and struggling. Your genuine message - just a text or a DM or an actual phone call can make the all the difference. Don't let the face fool you....we all cry! And that's a good thing! Let's stop pretending we have it all together and actually PULL together! In a time where we are drowning in negativity, anger and division, your word of kindness can be someone's Life Support.  #Enneagram #Enneagrampodcast #Enneagram1 #Enneagram2 #Enneagram3 #Enneagram4 #Enneagram5 #Enneagram6 #Enneagram7 #Enneagram8 #Enneagram9 #Kindnessmatters #Checkonyourstrongfriends #Crying

Crying - It's Not Just For The Weak

Enneagram education and conversation that focuses on personal development and strengthening relationships.

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Love Thy Enneagram Number

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