Narcissists devalue you to increase their own sense of self-worth. To explain this further, while a narcissists self esteem can be high, it can also be super fragile, dependent on external validation or self-deception. 1. You need to set your BOUNDARIES and stick to them no matter what the narcissist does. They hate having boundaries imposed, so be prepared for the pushback! If you need to block them from being able to contact you on all platforms including phone calls, texts, emails and social media go ahead. Setting boundaries should also include setting personal boundaries such as not sharing personal information. 2. Another important step in surviving the narcissists’ abuse is acknowledging the abuse be it past or present. If the narcissist is a romantic partner, family member, or friend it can be difficult to accept that some people just do not seem to care when they hurt others. Mental health issues do not excuse abuse. 3. Learn more about narcissistic behaviours because being able to identify the tactics often used by people with narcissism can both make it easier to come to terms with your own abuse as well as giving you strategies to reduce the negative impact their behaviours can have on you. 4. Take care of yourself and RECLAIM YOUR IDENTITY!!!! If you had changed your looks and style or lost things and friend or family because of the narcissist reclaim them. 5. Do not criticise yourself for the abuse because no one deserves abuse, and the narcissists abuse is not your fault! Instead REMEMBER to forgive yourself.

Mental Wellness Cindy

Why Narcissists Devalue You

Always know when to walk away. Give a man enough rope and he will eventually hang himself.

Don’t Wrestle with Pigs!

Is there anything wrong with wanting something right now, or with wanting satisfaction right away?

Instant Gratification

You have two choices when the walls are falling in on you 1. Break down in despair and let the walls crush you or, 2. Rise up in hope and lift those falling walls away from you. Rising up in hope is not an easy process it takes time, energy and determination. Life is not easy it is hard, it is filled with darkness and sometimes it is hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel. But when you choose hope you choose to believe that even though you cannot see that light at the end of the tunnel it is there. Take the first step today towards that unseen light and it will change your life for the better. My challenge and everyone’s challenge with this is to practice being hopeful every day because with daily practice being hopeful becomes natural. We all have to practice being hopeful, we also have to practice becoming alert, becoming more conscious and becoming aware. We also have to practice becoming kinder more compassionate and more caring with ourselves. The more we practice the better we will become at being able to be more hopeful, even when it feels like the whole world is against us and nothing is working the way we wanted it to. So the next time you have a problem in your life, instead of fighting it, take the time to ask what is this problem here to teach me? Choose to see the problem as your friend, something that is here to help you grow.

Journey To Hope

I just wanted to share my thoughts and gratitude in the current Covid 19 situation and the bravery of my fellow nurses and other keyworkers. I am grateful for your bravery and sacrifice,

I am grateful for all our key workers today ?

Today I wanted to talk about the importance of hard work and consistency and the reason for this is, I have just published my first book Mental Wellness and Spirituality: 40 life lessons for success from a mental health nurse. The book is available to buy on Amazon and also as an e-book on kindle. This book has come about as a result of me working consistently on a regular basis, but also by me continually taking small steps every day to ensure that I was meeting my daily targets. So the lesson is if you have a big dream, or if you have something that you trying to achieve. Instead of procrastinating, instead of worrying about what other people are going to say or what they think just do something. Just start doing something towards meeting your goal, talking about it with no action, dreaming about it with no action will not enable you to achieve the goal that you have. Actually putting you thoughts your words into action is what is going to help you achieve your goal. Then doing that regularly and consistently consistency is key, without consistency you will not achieve your goal. Start with something small if you like to give you the confidence that it will work and that it is possible for you to achieve your goals and then work from there. If you need motivation then my book is perfect for you, check it out on Amazon, it’s called Mental Wellness and Spirituality: 40 Life Lessons for Success From A Mental Health Nurse and my name is Cindy Mukombegumi . For anyone who gets in touch with me directly either on my Instagram in my using my Instagram handle which is mental_wellness_cindy get in touch and get a copy of the book. Take pictures of yourself reading the book share those pictures and use hashtag #cindymuko , also gift the book to somebody who needs it! Thank you for all the support.

Keep working hard, it pays off! My book is available to buy on amazon.

I finally know my purpose and had to share this with you all. Do you know your purpose? This realisation is life changing.

What is your purpose??

Every little helps. Every little helps as the saying goes. When it comes to finding happiness, small steps make a big difference. It’s Simple. Instead of thinking positive thoughts start doing positive things, instead of making big plans for the future, start doing small things every day that make you happy. Don’t worry if you chosen task feels too small. If it moves you closer to your goals, it is worth doing. If you want to get in shape, start going for a five minute walk and committing to doing that every day. If you want to make friends, focus on pursuing your own passions first. Just take the first step to committing to doing something daily that enables you to achieve your bigger dreams. Stay connected to the possibilities instead of all the things that could go wrong or hold you back. So what big dreams and visions do you have at the moment, but you’ve not started because you have the enormity of them drowning you? How can you break them down into small manageable chunks to make it easier to do and thus easier to start? What ever your dreams or ambitions start doing something small towards them today!

Small steps make a big difference.

How to measure success We are now 22 days into 2020, how are you doing with your resolutions? If you made any that is. Whether your goal was losing weight, dry January, starting a new habit or just having a different vision in this year. Have you stopped to check in with yourself to measure progress or just to reflect on the impact that the changes have made to your life so far? And why is it important to do so. When you take time to reflect on experiences, it gives you an opportunity to look at them once again thoughtfully. Reflection helps to set the tone for the next step, and also gives positive reinforcement to all that has been accomplished. Some easy steps that you can take to make reflection a part of your daily life are: 1-Write in a journal – this can help with reflecting on daily intentions. Write down three positive things that happened, as well as three negative or unfortunate things. The main aim is to start and get into the habit of finding time to reflect every day and documenting it. 2-Experience nature – simply take a walk or go for a hike or bike ride without technology. Take a deep breath and appreciate the beauty that is right in front of you. 3- At bedtime – take a moment to reflect, this will help you clear your mind and centre yourself with your breath. Reflecting regularly will help to keep you on track with your goals, that’s giving you a better chance of achieving them. So if regular reflection has to date not been a part of your life pick one of the three options journalling, experiencing nature or a bedtime routine of reflection, and do this for the next seven days. See if this makes a difference to your life and see if it makes a difference to you being able to achieve your goals.

How To Ensure Success

https://mentalwellness.teachable.com/p/master-your-mental-health Yes it is finally here! Please check it out and let know what you think.

Yes The Course Has Launched

Have you ever thought about why during the flight safety procedures they tell you if the oxygen masks are activated put on your mask first before helping anyone else including your children? Well that is because for you to be able to help others around you or to be able to meet their expectations you need to be healthy enough to do so. Expectations make us suffer. They make you feel like you’re living someone else’s life. This is because they allow other people to determine your choices. Pleasing other people is like chasing a moving target. Everyone has different hopes for you. Expectations are also an illusion. By trying to please everyone, we end up pleasing no one, ourselves included. That is why most people do not live the life they want. Everyone feels frustrated and disappointed. We do live our lives trying to fulfil expectation, both our own and others. Sometimes they can be daunting, but ignoring them will not make them go away. You need to learn how to deal with them , And rise to the challenge so what steps can you take to do this: 1- keep your promises but be aware of exceeding them – exceeding expectations is not necessarily better than meeting them. 2- do not confuse expectations for reality – just because you’re expected to get married and have children does not necessarily mean that it is going to happen or that you need to do it. 3 – discuss with others to clarify their expectations – expectations are abstract, not always clearly defined or expressed. So by talking them through you will get more clarity. 4 - give yourself credit for the steps you take towards complete success – the small successes add up. 5 – keep a goal journal – it will help you gain insight and understanding into which expectations are realistic and which are not. 6 – delegate whenever you can – there are some things you cannot control let go and allow yourself to relax. Importantly give yourself a break. Don’t let your mind settle on what you could be doing but instead see value in relaxation. Life is like a fragile glass, it would break sooner or later rather than expecting things to happen one way, enjoy them for what they are and well they lost.

How to deal with expectations

Why saying I Love You especially to children is important. Those 3 little words I love you, saying them may seem like such a small thing in the grand scheme of things but in reality it’s not. The words I love you have inspired countless poems, songs and works of art but when it comes to saying I love you to our children, for some it comes easily but for others not so much, they need reminders as to why saying these 3 little words is nice for the children to hear. But can we say it too little or too much? And why is it important? One school of thought says it’s essential to say it because we tend to assume people know we love them from the way we treat them, but this is not always true and we sometimes find out later in life when someone is in therapy as an adult, and they say my mother never said I love you. They go on to say that it does make a big difference also because as a child you learn how to express your feelings ready for your own relationships later on. Personally I don’t think those words can be said too much, it is how they are said, so long as the sentiment is authentic and heartfelt. So why is saying I love you and meaning it important to children? 1- It instills courage – when a child knows that the parents love them unconditionally, it helps to build the courage which gives them stability to try new things and take risks. 2- It models what love is – showing our children what love really is, is very important to their future relationships and self-esteem 3 – It lets them know they are not alone – that they have someone in the corner which is important for their mental wellness 4 – It builds trust – building trust is an important foundation for any relationship. As parents though they are a lot of other things that we can do to show our children that we care such as, listening to them when they talk to us and when they want to tell us something, we can also show them through physical expression of love such as cuddles or kisses or even holding hands and we can also show them by sharing quality time such as reading a book or playing a game and doing activities together. All of these are just as important if not more important than the words themselves. So now knowing that the amount of affection you receive as a child might impact on adult relationships. What are you going to change today about the way you parent your children, whether you received affection as a child or not let’s break the no love cycle that exists in some families.

How to show your children you love them.

Time is the most valuable thing to everyone.

How to make the most of your time.

Studies have shown that having supportive relationships is a strong protective factor against mental illness. Find out how to build yours.

How to build your support network

Anxiety is something everyone experiences at times, and feeling anxious is a perfectly natural reaction to some situations. But sometimes feelings of anxiety can be constant, overwhelming or out of proportion to the situation and this can affect your daily life. The good news is there are plenty of things you can try to help cope with anxiety.

How to cope with anxiety

Focused on leveraging the power of story telling to promote social change around the importance of everyone’s entitlement to good mental health support.

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Mental Wellness Cindy

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