Previously, with guest Ryan Murphy, things got downright honest when he recounted his and his wife’s long and, at times challenging journey through IUI and now with IVF. In part two of the conversation, Adam and Marc get a real-time progress report. Also, the guys unveil a new Mike-Birbiglia-inspired segment: Instant Regret. [This is part two of a two-part interview.]    LINKS:Chukka Talk With Ryan Murphy (Apple Podcasts)Intrauterine InseminationIn Vitro FertilizationRed Vault AudioCaspar BabypantsSpencer AlbeeStuffed Animal

Modern Dadhood

Sometimes Good Things Take Time | Ryan Murphy's IVF Journey Part 2

Natural conception, in vitro fertilization, intrauterine insemination, adoption... Heck, even accidental pregnancy. The path to parenthood can take many forms. For some, it’s more arduous than others. Long-time friend of Marc, fellow podcaster, and all-around great guy, Ryan Murphy joins the show to share his and his wife’s journey with IVF. Things even get a little... personal here and there. At the top of the show, Adam obliges a much-need therapy session for Marc. [This is part one of a two-part interview.]In Episode 53 of Modern Dadhood, the guys open with a discussion around a stressful and exhausting situation in Marc's home which involves one of his twins. The guys welcome one of Marc's longtime friends into the conversation. Ryan Murphy shares candidly about his and his wife's unsuccessful attempts to conceive a child naturally, which led them to IUI (intrauterine insemination) and then to IVF (in vitro fertilization). In Part 1 of the conversation, the guys discuss topics including:•  The expectation that it will be "so easy" to get pregnant•  "Geriatric pregnancy"•   IUI versus IVF•  What is a "Collection Room"?•  A typical IVF timeline•  And moreThe conversation continues in the next episode of Modern Dadhood on 10/22/21LINKS:Chukka Talk With Ryan Murphy (Apple Podcasts)Intrauterine InseminationIn Vitro FertilizationRed Vault AudioCaspar BabypantsSpencer AlbeeStuffed Animal

An Arduous Path Toward Parenthood | Ryan Murphy's IVF Journey Part 1

For the last year and a half, many parents have been forced to adjust their work schedules to accommodate online learning, changes to child care, and more. For some of us, working from home has become second nature. For others of us, it's a chosen lifestyle. Today's guest is Pete Morse, a name you hear in the credits of each episode. Pete is a sound engineer, mixer, musician, and composer who constructed his state-of-the-art studio "Red Vault Audio" off the side of his house, awarding him the flexibility to work non-traditional hours and be more present with his wife and two young daughters. Listen to the end for a Paw Patrol-themed Did I Just Say That Out Loud?Episode 52 of Modern Dadhood opens with the guys reminding listeners that they are NOT experts in fatherhood, and then catching up on Marc and his wife's first kid-free getaway. The guys welcome Pete Morse into the conversation. Pete is the beauty and brains behind Red Vault Audio, a studio in Portland, Maine, which Pete designed and constructed within his home. Pete describes his line of work, and the joys, challenges, and general insanity of operating a business attached to your home when you have 5- and 7-year-old daughters. The conversation covers:•  Inspiring curiosity in your kids for what you do•  Supporting our kid's interest in music and instruments•  Kids crashing meetings and recording sessions•  The importance/impossibility of setting boundaries•  Tips for getting better audio in your Zoom meetings•  And more!Marc rounds out the episode with a rather alarming and mildly outrageous Paw Patrol-themed Did I Just Say That Out Loud?LINKSRed Vault Audio (homepage)Red Vault Audio (Instagram)Pete Kilpatrick Band - Songs From The Green Room (mixed and mastered by Pete Morse)Ohmaga! Guster With The Omaha Symphony (mixed my Pete Morse)Caspar BabypantsSpencer AlbeeStuffed Animal 

Work From Home Dadding | Pete Morse on Entrepreneurship, Fatherhood, WFH

One might expect that a career spent in a hospital caring for sick children and grieving families would be a terribly depressing way to spend your life… but it’s all about perspective. Pediatric Oncology Nurse, David Metzger, uses words like "laughter" and "joy" when describing a typical day caring for children battling cancer. And at the end of his shift, he carries new lessons home to his wife and his two healthy kids, with an enlightened perspective on fatherhood and life. David joins us to share stories of love, life, and loss, and to chat about his book (and podcast) Nurse Papa. Episode 51 opens with the guys catching up over a bit of a therapy session, which finds Adam venting about the constant bickering between his children. How can you diffuse the situation when literally anything you say elevates the emotion even more. When the therapy session comes to a close, the guys introduce David Metzger, R.N. to the conversation. David is a father of two, and a Pediatric Oncology Nurse at UCSF Beniof Children’s Hospital in Oakland, CA where he cares for children with cancer. He also hosts a podcast and recently authored a book of the same name, “Nurse Papa,” which chronicles many experiences, stories, and lessons he has learned as a nurse and a father. They discuss topics including:•  The path that led David to pediatric cancer care•  The presence and importance of humor in his line of work•  The unique relationship between nurse and patient•  The shift between caring for sick children and fathering healthy ones•  How becoming a father better prepared David for his job•  And moreMarc shares an absolute “laugh riot” of a So That’s a Thing Now which involves something called “pink sauce” before the guys close out the show in typical asinine fashion.Links:Nurse Papa (the book) on AmazonNurse Papa (the podcast) on AppleNurse Papa (official website)David Metzger (Instagram)Red Vault AudioCaspar BabypantsSpencer AlbeeStuffed Animal

Fatherhood Lessons From The Bedside | "Nurse Papa" David Metzger on Love, Life, and Loss

What is "feminism"? What does it mean to be a feminist? Is it for women only? Do feminists hate men? As it turns out, there are many misconceptions about what it means to be a feminist. We invited professor, author,  thought leader, and dad, Jordan Shapiro, to discuss what feminism REALLY means... and how as dads, we can actively work to be better parents and better people.Episode 50 finds Marc and Adam returning from a short Summer hiatus, and after a brief catch-up, they dive head first into a topic which they both are painfully unqualified to opine on:  feminism! The guys discuss several definitions of the term, as well as some of the misconceptions about feminism. They introduce Jordan Shapiro into the conversation. Jordan is a professor, thought leader, and author of the new book "Father Figure: How To Be a Feminist Dad". Jordan's book has received impressive reviews and accolades, and in our conversation, we cover topics such as:•  The REAL definition of feminism•  The importance of modeling compassion and inclusivity to our kids•  #metoo movement•  Cancel culture•  Toxic masculinity•  Gender essentialism•  And more!Adam shares a stabbing-themed "Did I Just Say That Out Loud?" before the guys close out the episode. Links:Farther Figure: How To Be a Feminist DadJordan Shapiro (official website)Jordan Shapiro (Twitter)Jordan Shapiro (Instagram)Red Vault AudioCaspar BabypantsSpencer AlbeeStuffed Animal MusicAdam Flaherty

How To Be A Feminist Dad | Jordan Shapiro on Feminism, Toxic Masculinity, Misconceptions

Have you ever sat down to interview one of your parents? It’s not always an easy task—even for someone who interviews influential people for a living! Adam and Marc welcome guest Craig Melvin, father of two and acclaimed news anchor/personality on Dateline NBC and The Today Show, to discuss his new book “Pops: Learning To Be A Son And A Father.” Listen to the end of the episode for a round of “Confessions.”Episode 49 opens with a brief reflection on the show; specifically, how our collective experiences as dads can share so many similarities and be so different at the same time. The guys share a bit about NBC anchor/personality Craig Melvin’s new book “Pops: Learning To Be A Son And A Father”, a book he began working on during a 2020 quarantine. For much of Craig’s life, he and his brothers didn’t have much of a relationship with their father Lawrence, largely due to his alcohol and gambling addictions. A 2018 family intervention cleared a path to recovery for Lawrence, and an opportunity to redefine relationships with his sons and grandchildren—Including Craig’s son and daughter. Craig shared candidly about his family, and the process of interviewing his father for “Pops.” Topics include:• The inspiration for writing “Pops”•  The fear of interviewing a parent• The importance of other “father figures” in Craig’s life•  The nature of addiction•  How the notion of “it takes a village” has shifted•  Craig’s kids’ relationship with their grandfather•  What “Modern Dadhood” means to Craig The guys round out the episode with a new batch of dadhood “Confessions”.[Episode Transcript]Links:Buy “Pops” at Powell’sCraig’s digital series “Dads Got This”Craig Melvin on InstagramRed Vault AudioCaspar BabypantsSpencer AlbeeStuffed Animal

Learning to be a Son and a Father | Craig Melvin on his book "Pops"

What does the word "family" mean to you? Is it your immediate blood relatives with whom you share DNA? Or can "family" be chosen based on interpersonal relationships, regardless of ancestry? And who gets to decide the official definition, if not each one of us individually? Today, Adam and Marc welcome guest Paul Ramsay, a certified hypnotist, to share a compelling story about the dad he never knew, and how his experience as a son redefined the word "family" for him. Also, Marc's boys go a bit wild with some new rubber drinking straws! Episode 48 finds the guys back together recording in person for the first time in almost 16 months. They  open the conversation by reminiscing about the past year or more, and discuss their skepticism about fully accepting a return to normalcy. The guys welcome guest Paul Ramsay into the conversation. Paul is a Certified Hypnotist and a longtime friend and collaborator of Adam's. The guys quickly turn the show over to Paul, who recounts a compelling story about his experience with an absentee father, a stepdad who swept in and selflessly filled that paternal role, and what happened when a half sibling reached out to make contact after decades of silence.In an installment of "Did I Just SayThat Out Loud?", Marc shares an exclamation which might sound confusing (or even perverse) without explanation.[Episode Transcript]LINKS:Paul Ramsay, HypnotistBest Hypnosis TrainingBest Hypnosis Training on InstagramThe PartnerhoodRed Vault AudioCaspar BabypantsSpencer AlbeeStuffed Animal

The Dad I Never Knew | Hypnotist Paul Ramsay Redefines "Family"

In part two of the conversation, Adam and Marc jump back into things with Ben Lee after pausing while he fields a phone call from a child in distress. The. Dadding. Never. Stops. From there, the guys explore a willingness to discuss heavy topics, leading by example, the importance of balancing skill with intuition, and speaking to the kid inside the grown-up... really, a little bit of everything. Finally, stick around to the end to hear about Marc’s new musical side project: Stuffed Animal.Episode 47 is the second half of a  two part conversation with songwriter, activist, and rockstar dad Ben Lee. The guys open the show with a gush-session about Ben’s wisdom, grace, and talent before diving right back into the interview. Conversation topics include:•  How to create space for forward motion in your life•  "Three dimensional experiences"•  What it means to be an "activist"•  Leading by example with our children•  Why we should not assume that we know better than our kids•  Writing music for kids and familiesIn lieu of a recurring segment, Marc announces his new solo musical venture “Stuffed Animal,” which he simply describes as “rock music for kids.” Samples of “PB+J” and “Nervous Dog” are debuted before the guys close out the episode.Links:Ben Lee on InstagramBen Lee on TwitterWeirder TogetherB is for BeerBen Lee in QuarantineStuffed AnimalRed Vault AudioCaspar BabypantsSpencer AlbeeAdam Flaherty

Everything is Everything’s Everything | Ben Lee on Dadhood and Life

Parents are teachers. Even those of us without degree in education. Our children are constantly observing us and learning from our behaviors, personalities, and how we navigate adventures, crises, relationships, and life in general. Musician, activist, and rock star dad Ben Lee joins the conversation for a deep dive on the science of living, on fatherhood, and on promoting a love for lifelong learning. Plus, Marc recalls a time he got the flop sweats, and Adam literally questions his sanity!Episode is Part 1 of a 2 Part conversation with the multi-talented artist Ben Lee.The episode opens with a quick recap and reflection on Episode 45: Mom Takeover. The guys tee up the conversation with Australian musician, activist, and dad, Ben Lee, by discussing the unique challenge of trying to teach our children without OVER-teaching. How to impart wisdom without forcing a teachable moment into every experience. And how to allow yourself to step back and let them experience things for themselves when it’s appropriate.The guys welcome Ben Lee into the conversation. Ben is an artist in every sense of the word, and along with his wife Ione Skye, they are parents to 19 year old Kate (a stepdaughter to Ben), and 11 year old Goldie. Ben discusses post-pandemic life in Sydney, returning to live performance, and offers a deep dive on fatherhood, sharing candidly about topics including:• How live music has changed post-pandemic•  Meeting his future wife at 18 years old•  The beauty of "blended" family structures•  Kids and technology•  The value of expressing interest in their interests•  Giving people space to have their own experiences•  And moreThe conversation with Ben will carry on in Episode 47. Adam shares about what’s “a thing now” in the Flaherty home to round out the show... a "thing" which has led him to questioning his own sanity. And the guys close with well-wishes to all the dads on this Father’s Day Weekend 2021![Episode Transcript] Links:Ben Lee on InstagramBen Lee on TwitterWeirder TogetherB is for BeerBen Lee in QuarantineAuthor Jordan ShapiroColleen BallingerRed Vault AudioCaspar BabypantsSpencer AlbeeStuffed AnimalAdam Flaherty

The Science of Living | Ben Lee on Fatherhood, Culture, Lifelong Learning

Episode 45 of the podcast takes a slight detour from the usual format. The guys turn their mics over to their wives and hand over a bowl full of questions for the podcast’s first-ever Mom Takeover. Sarah Flaherty and Jamie Checket chat about everything from dad tropes and mom myths to “aha!” moments and moody kids. Finally, some real talk from the moms behind the dads behind Modern Dadhood. Perhaps this is the beginning of an annual event.A concept originally teased in Episode 43, hosts Adam and Marc turn the show over to their wives, Sarah and Jamie. With little instruction and a batch of questions and prompts to address at their will, the goal of the exercise was to celebrate and honor mothers by giving them the floor and full control of the show. How did they spend their time? Well, they discussed topics including:•  How they learned about (and didn't learn about) the "Mom Takeover" concept•  Motherhood myths•  The benefits and pitfalls of social media to a new mother•  Being your child's "entertainer"•  Letting go/stepping back•  Listening vs. problem solving•  Pregnancy mindsets•  Sleep deprivation•  Mom confessions•  Dumb dad moves•  And more!We celebrate you, Sarah, Jamie, and ALL moms, step moms, bonus moms, and moms-to-be! THANK YOU for being you! (And for accepting us and loving us for the idiots we are, too.) [Episode Transcript] Links:Hunt, Gather, ParentHow To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen 

Mom Takeover! | Sarah Flaherty and Jamie Checket on Modern Momhood

Episode 44 of Modern Dadhood is a bit different than what you’ve grown accustomed to. Adam had a significant and deeply personal event in his life recently, spurring an impromptu recording session. The guys take a little time to catch up about family, life, and playing the role of dad—even if, at times, it’s hard to think about playing any other role besides son.Stay tuned for the Mother's Day "takeover" episode which will be our next release.Links:Red Vault AudioCaspar BabypantsSpencer AlbeeStuffed Animal

When Life Throws You a Curve Ball | Adam & Marc Talk Moms and Life

At the end of the COVID tunnel, the thought of light is very appealing — 2020 was a whopper. The pandemic has affected us all differently. We’ve developed our own ways of navigating hurdles and managing emotional stress. Middle and high school kids faced unique challenges as they missed iconic milestones and were robbed of social lives. While drugs and alcohol have always been a concern for parents, 2020 saw a rise in addiction among adolescents looking for a coping mechanism. Author Richard Capriola brings decades of experience to the conversation and shares ideas on how parents can best support their kids. His book, “The Addicted Child,” lays out the warning signs and offers seasoned advice to help turn this trend around. Episode 43 of Modern Dadhood opens with a brief catch-up on Marc’s solo-dadding weekend and a realization that the release of this episode falls on the Friday of Mother’s Day weekend. The guys quickly formulate a plan to let their wives take over the next episode and mom it up for half an hour!The guys discuss their (quite different) experiences with their second doses of the Pfizer vaccine, which leads into a conversation about the pandemic, the light at the end, and the impacts that the past year has had on people of all ages. The guys discuss the differences between younger children and high school aged adolescents and coping mechanisms for stress, depression, and trauma—including drugs and alcohol. Marc brings up a recent episode of NHPR’s The Exchange, covering a similar topic with guest Jessica Lahey, before playing back a recent conversation with author Richard Capriola.Richard is a father one grown son who has spent much of his career counseling young people with alcohol and substance abuse issues, and recently published the book The Addicted Child, A Parent’s Guide to Adolescent Substance Abuse. Rick joins to promote his book, and we discuss topics including:•  Raising his son as a widower•  The importance of writing a simple and clear guide for parents•  The harm in labeling someone an "addict"•  When is the right time to discuss substance misuse with your kids?•  The neuroscience of adolescent substance use•  What has changed from the "Just Say No" era to now?•  Warning signs to watch out for in our kids•  The importance of listening to words and the feelings behind them•  What assessments are, and why they're important•  The impact of the pandemic on young people The episode culminates with a no-explanation-needed installment of Did I Just Say That Out Loud? in which Adam finds himself doing... some dirty work.Stay tuned for Episode 44, when our wives will take over the podcast—and do whatever the heck they want with the time![Episode Transcript] Links:Richard Capriola [website]The Addicted Child [Amazon]DrugFree.orgRed Vault AudioCaspar BabypantsSpencer AlbeeStuffed Animal [Marc's musical project]

Hearing Beyond the Words | Richard Capriola on Adolescent Substance Abuse

Does being a parent to twins simply mean two of everything? There are certainly twice as many diapers to change, two bladders to potty train, and double the tears during teething. But to twin parents, the emotional impact and physical toll often feels more than double… it feels exponential. In this episode, Adam and Marc welcome Shaw Flick, a fellow dad of twins, to examine the unique challenges that twin parents endure. Also, Marc and his wife try not to bust a gut when their three-year-old son puts them in their place, in an installment of So That’s a Thing Now. Adam and Marc open the show by catching up on Marc’s new Disney+ subscription, and Marc shares an update to one of his recent Confessions regarding a bouncy ball from hell which made a brief comeback recently, before being permanently banned from the Checket household.The guys welcome creative copywriter and father of twin daughters, Shaw Flick, into the conversation. Shaw is a co-worker of Marc’s, though living in Portland, Oregon, they have only meet and collaborated virtually. As fathers of three-year-old twins, Marc and Shaw have plenty of twin-dad experiences to compare and contrast. Topics of the conversation include:•  The annoying things that people call out when they see twins•  Shaw’s history as the front man of the band Ra Ra Riot•  The unique set of challenges that twin parents are faced with•  The chaos of newborn multiples•   Encouraging individuality•  How to address when one twin takes on an alpha role•   Twin parent camaraderie•   And morePost-interview, Marc shares a So That’s a Thing Now which finds him getting scolded by one of his boys (and trying not to laugh when it happens). [Episode transcript] Links:Shaw Flick (LinkedIn)Shaw Flick (Instagram)Ra Ra RiotRed Vault AudioStuffed Animal (Marc's musical project)Caspar BabypantsSpencer Albee

Do Twin Dads Do It Better? | Shaw Flick on the Joys and Challenges of Raising Twins

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, nearly one in five adults in the U.S. lives with a mental illness. If anything, that statistic tells us that those who are struggling are not alone in their struggle. Still, reaching out for help can sometimes feel insurmountable. In this episode, guest Brian Manor, a dad to two, shares his personal story and talks openly about his challenges with clinical depression, social anxiety disorder, and seasonal affective disorder. Stick around to the end for another round of the infamous recurring segment, Confessions.  Episode 41 opens with hosts Adam and Marc briefly recounting their experiences getting their first doses of the Covid-19 vaccine, coincidentally scheduled on the same day. The guys transition to a discussion of mental illness; specifically the ways in which society addresses mental health, and how the conversation has shifted over the past 30 years. The guys welcome Brian Manor to the conversation. Brian is a husband and a father of two. He lives in Wisconsin, works for a blood donation organization, and writes for his fatherhood-themed Fatterhood: A Humorous New Dad's Blog. Brian shares openly, (both in his blog and during our conversation), about his history with mental illness and how it has affected his life, his job, and his role as a father. The conversation covers many topics including:•  Why Brian is not ashamed of his mental health•  The difficulty in diagnosing mental health conditions in children•  Overlapping symptoms of clinical depression and anxiety disorders•  The importance of SEEKING HELP!•  The importance of checking on your friends if you’re concerned about them•  The rise of discussing mental illness publicly and without shame•  How educating his support system is helpful•  How finding the right provider led to significant improvement•  Being aware of potential signs in your children•  Shop around for the right provider if you are able to•  "It's not your fault, but it's your responsibility."The episode culminates with  arguably one of the strongest Confessions sessions to date.On a personal note from Adam and Marc, in each episode, we invite our listeners to reach out to us by e-mail. If you can relate to Brian's experience or you connect with this episode for any reason, you are more than welcome to reach out to us. While we are not experts on mental illness, fatherhood, or much of anything, really—we are good listeners. And we are here for you.We've included links below that pertain to our conversation with Brian, as well as some additional resources that we'd encourage you to explore. But as a reminder, there is no shame in seeking help. And, despite how it may feel, you are NOT alone. We love you and appreciate you![Episode Transcript]Links:Fatterhood: A Humorous New Dad's BlogChris Gethard "Career Suicide"Hannah Gatsby "Nanette" (Netflix)Marcus Parks / The Last Podcast on the LeftJordan Raskopoulos "Living With High Functioning Anxiety" TEDxSydney5 Minute Guide to Men's Mental HealthBeThe1ToNational Suicide Prevention LifelineAnxiety & Depression Association of AmericaRed Vault AudioCaspar BabypantsSpencer Albee

Behind The Dad Mask | Brian Manor on Anxiety, Mental Illness, Fatherhood

Sometimes, two people fall in love and choose to get married, one or both of those people have young children from a previous relationship, and a wonderful new blended family is formed. But it’s not always so clear cut. Enter Sean Carrillo, a media maker, technical director, writer, former-famous-coffee-shop-owner, and family man. Sean also happens to be the stepfather of accomplished musician Beck and artistic polymath Channing Hansen. Sean joins the Modern Dadhood conversation to discuss his family of artists, and how his parenting experience has felt a lot like hanging out with a group of friends. Also, find out why Marc’s wife is less than thrilled with her doctors! Episode 40 is a very special and personal one for Adam, and he wastes no time sharing about it. The episode is a continuation of Modern Dadhood’s exploration on what it means to be a stepfather. In a sharp contrast to Episode 39’s guest Rafael Torres, the guys welcome Sean Carrillo into the conversation. At 60 years old, Sean’s career has taken him from the performing arts to commercial and film production, directing, and editorial, to curating live events... and that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Sean has been a stepfather for almost 40 years, and his family dynamic is far from typical. His wife Bibbe Hansen is a performance artist and actress, a protégé of Andy Warhol when she was young. Bibbe’s late father is Al Hansen, the renowned Fluxus artist. And his stepchildren are artist Channing Hansen, and musician Beck—a longtime favorite of Adam’s.Sean shares about growing up in Los Angeles in the 60s and 70s, meeting Bibbe while a member of the performance art group ASCO, and marrying her in the early 1980s when Beck and Channing were 12 and 10 years old, respectively. In a particularly unique step-parenting situation, Sean found that hanging with Bibbe and the boys, along with Rain Whittaker, a family friend who they took under their wing, felt more like hanging out with a group of peers than a  traditional parents/kids dynamic. Topics include:•  The idea of marrying someone with kids close to you in age•  Beck and Channing’s biological father David Campbell•  Los Angeles’ Troy Cafe, owned by Sean and Bibbe•  Did being a stepfather change when Beck and Channing began seeing commercial success?•  Beck and Channing as fathers•  And more To close out an epic episode, in a spinoff of the hit segment Did I Just Say That Out Loud?, Marc shares a story about his wife, his twin boys, a surgery, and some less than desirable operating conditions. [Episode Transcript] LINKS:Sean CarrilloBibbe HansenBeckChanning HansenBeck and Al Hansen: Playing With MatchesTroy CafeRed Vault AudioCaspar BabypantsSpencer Albee

The Gang’s All Here | Sean Carrillo on Beck, Channing, and Step-Fatherhood

Modern Dadhood is an ongoing conversation about the joys, challenges, and general insanity of being a dad in this moment.

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Modern Dadhood

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