Some of us are big criers, some of us are not. But does it really matter? Today: Two tears experts who have experimented with this idea in the lab and in real life let us in on their insights. We hear from Reverend Benjamin Perry, author of the forthcoming book Cry Baby, who taught himself not to cry, then set out to get his tears back. Later, we’ll hear from Dutch Psychologist Ad Vingerhoets who has spent a large part of his career studying the meaning of tears.Special thanks to Patricia Angelin for her help with this episode.Attention More Than A Feeling fans! Our show is a finalist for a 2022 Signal Award for Best Original Score/Music, thanks to our banging theme song, “Kabhi,” by El Michels Affair and Piya Malik. You can give us your vote for the “listener’s choice” award – deadline December 22 – at this link: https://vote.signalaward.com/PublicVoting#/2022/shows/craft/best-original-score-musicFull show notes and more info about today’s guests available here: https://www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/tearsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

More Than A Feeling

Why the Tears?

Today: a story about defusing conflict when emotions run high, from someone who's made it her life's work.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Coco’s Story: Ending Cycles of Harm

Maybe you want to dismiss your grudges, like they’re petty incidents. Or maybe you hold them tightly, and wear them like badges of honor. Either way, we have them. And we’re taking the view that there’s more going on with our grudges than we think. Today, we talk with Sophie Hannah, author of "How to Hold a Grudge," and meditation teacher Matthew Hepburn, for perspective on what triggers our grudges in the first place – and how holding them can actually be good for us. We also listen to some of your grudge stories. Full show notes available here: https://www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/grudgesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How to Hold a Grudge

The interviewer becomes the guest! In this Ten Percent Happier / More Than A Feeling crossover conversation, Dan Harris interviews Saleem to find out what stuck with him from his investigation into dread. We also highlight some of the best advice that came from our expert guests, from how to get the most out of journaling and drawing our dread, to discovering some unexpected joy when we confront the things that scare us most.  You can find The Dread Project miniseries, with five days of challenges for working with dread, in the More Than A Feeling podcast feed — or if you want to make it official, and get five days of emails that step you through the challenge, you can sign up anytime at dreadproject.com. You can follow More Than A Feeling on Twitter at @podfeelings.  Website for this episode is available at: www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/how-to-handle-dreadSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How to Handle Dread

Eco-dread. It’s one of the most overwhelming emotions listeners are struggling with. But we can’t just tune out and shut down. Not only because it’s untenable to live that way, but because the only way out is the biggest collective action the planet has ever seen. Nature Educator Aurelia Casey and Somatic Therapist Patty Adams help listeners understand that the environments immediately around us can help us build emotional resilience, so that even if we feel paralyzed by eco-dread we don’t have to stay that way for too long. Today’s episode is the final installment of our five-day Dread Project Challenge. You can find all our episodes and daily challenges at dreadproject.com, along with all our show notes and where to find our guests. You can follow us on Twitter at @podfeelings. The show notes for this episode are available here: www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/eco-dread. And if digging into dread is very difficult or intense for you, some additional resources that could help are listed below.Search for a therapist: Alma ZencareAPA Psychologist Locator Mental Health Resources:How Right Now | Finding What Helps Adult Mental Health Resources from the CDCMental Health America Apps:Try the Ten Percent Happier app for free for thirty days by visiting tenpercent.com/more and check out the meditation pack made especially for working with dread and Jay Michaelson’s teacher talk, Confronting Climate Change.Dare App - free app to help with anxious momentsIf you are currently experiencing a mental health crisis, please click here, text 741741, or call 988.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Day 5: An Antidote to Eco-Dread

If we’re not careful, we can spend an entire day stuck in an endless loop of dread. Penciling in time for this scary emotion on the calendar can be a surprisingly easy way to keep it from becoming too overwhelming. The Dread Project Challenge is a five-day series that investigates an emotion so many of us are struggling with lately – from our dread of the next Zoom meeting to worries that have life-and-death stakes. Each day of the challenge, we tackle dread in a different way, and offer you a fun exercise for feeling a little better, even when you’re anticipating the worst. Today, Clinical Psychologist Dr. Ali Mattu is back to talk about how he carves out “worry time,” and why it can be so beneficial. Check out dreadproject.com for more information about The Dread Project and daily prompts for The Dread Project Challenge. We’d love for you to share how today’s Dread Project Challenge went for you by sending us a voice memo at morethanafeeling@tenpercent.com. Give us your name and where you’re from, and you might hear yourself on an upcoming episode!Sign up for the Dread Project Listener Challenge here: dreadproject.com. If you’re seeing this after the challenge has begun, don’t worry! You can sign up and participate anytime.For more information about More Than A Feeling, The Dread Project, today’s challenge prompt, and today’s guests, check out our show notes at: www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/schedule-your-dread. And follow us on Twitter at podfeelings.If digging into dread is very difficult or intense for you, some additional resources that could help are listed below.Search for a therapist: Alma ZencareAPA Psychologist Locator Mental Health Resources:How Right Now | Finding What Helps Adult Mental Health Resources from the CDCMental Health America Apps:Try the Ten Percent Happier app for free for thirty days by visiting tenpercent.com/more and check out the meditation pack made especially for working with dread.Dare App - free app to help with anxious momentsIf you are currently experiencing a mental health crisis, please click here, text 741741, or call 988.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Day 4: Schedule Your Dread

Today we get some surprisingly joyful insights about coping with the dread of death – whether we’re concerned about our own mortality or losing those we love. It’s Day Three of The Dread Project Challenge, a five-day series that investigates an emotion so many of us are struggling with lately – from our dread of the next Zoom meeting to worries that have life-and-death stakes. Each day of the challenge, we tackle dread in a different way, and offer you a fun exercise for feeling a little better, even when you’re anticipating the worst. Dread of death might be the ultimate dread we face in life, but Clinical Psychologist Rachel Menzies and Death Doula Alua Arthur explain why remembering we will die – instead of trying to forget – can help us accept the inevitable.Check out dreadproject.com for more information about The Dread Project and daily prompts for The Dread Project Challenge. Please share how today’s Dread Project Challenge went for you by sending us a voice memo at morethanafeeling@tenpercent.com. Don’t forget to give us your name and where you’re from, and you might hear yourself on an upcoming episode!Sign up for the Dread Project Listener Challenge here: dreadproject.com. If you’re seeing this after the challenge has begun, don’t worry! You can sign up and participate anytime.For more information about More Than A Feeling, The Dread Project, and today’s guests, check out our show notes at: www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/death-but-fun. And follow us on Twitter at podfeelings.And if digging into dread is very difficult or intense for you, some additional resources that could help are listed below.Search for a therapist: Alma ZencareAPA Psychologist Locator Mental Health Resources:How Right Now | Finding What Helps Adult Mental Health Resources from the CDCMental Health America Apps:Try the Ten Percent Happier app for free for thirty days by visiting tenpercent.com/more and check out this meditation that reflects on death and mortality with Joseph Goldstein; an episode of the Twenty Percent Happier podcast that discusses working with death and difficult struggles in your meditation practice; and teacher talks that explore death with Anushka Fernandopulle, Zenju Earthlyn Manuel, and Jay Michaelson. Dare App - free app to help with anxious momentsIf you are currently experiencing a mental health crisis, please click here, text 741741, or call 988.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Day 3: Death, But Fun!

Yesterday we journaled about our dread. Today we’re going to see what happens when we express the overwhelming feeling of dread, without words. It’s Day Two of The Dread Project Challenge, a five-day series that investigates an emotion so many of us are struggling with lately – from our dread of the next Zoom meeting to worries that have life-and-death stakes. Each day of the challenge, we tackle dread in a different way, and offer you a fun exercise for feeling a little better, even when you’re anticipating the worst. In this episode, we’ll talk with Clinical Art Therapist Naomi Cohen-Thompson and Meditation Teacher & Writer Jeff Warren about how visualizing, and sometimes even drawing, can help us accept the stuff that scares us. Check out dreadproject.com for more information about The Dread Project and daily prompts for The Dread Project Challenge. Please share how this Dread Project Challenge, “Dread Without Words,” went for you by sending us a voice memo at morethanafeeling@tenpercent.com. Sign up for the Dread Project Listener Challenge here: dreadproject.com. If you’re seeing this after the challenge has begun, don’t worry! You can sign up and participate anytime.For more information about More Than A Feeling, The Dread Project, and today’s guests, check out our show notes at: www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/dread-without-words. And follow us on Twitter at @podfeelings.And if digging into dread is very difficult or intense for you, some additional resources that could help are listed below.Search for a therapist: Alma ZencareAPA Psychologist Locator Mental Health Resources:How Right Now | Finding What Helps Adult Mental Health Resources from the CDCMental Health America Apps:Try the Ten Percent Happier app for free for thirty days by visiting tenpercent.com/more and check out Jeff Warren’s Welcome to the Party meditation.Dare App - free app to help with anxious momentsIf you are currently experiencing a mental health crisis, please click here, text 741741, or call 988.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Day 2: Dread Without Words

Dread can feel so heavy, most of the time we don’t even want to talk about it. But what if we tried to express our dread in a different way? Welcome to Day One of the Dread Project Challenge, a five-day series that investigates an emotion so many of us are struggling with lately – from our dread of the next Zoom meeting to worries that have life-and-death stakes. Each day of the Challenge, we tackle dread in a different way, and offer you a fun exercise for feeling a little better, even when you’re anticipating the worst. In today’s episode we rewrite some of the stories we tell ourselves about dread. Clinical Psychologist and Poet Dr. Hala Alyan gives us a journaling prompt to get some distance and make even our scariest feelings more approachable.Check out dreadproject.com for more information about The Dread Project and daily prompts for The Dread Project Challenge. Please share how this Dread Project Challenge, “Rewrite Your Dread,” went for you by sending us a voice memo at morethanafeeling@tenpercent.com. Sign up for the Dread Project Listener Challenge here: dreadproject.com. If you’re seeing this after the challenge has begun, don’t worry! You can sign up and participate anytime.For more information about More Than A Feeling, The Dread Project, and today’s guests, check out our show notes at: www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/rewrite-your-dread. And follow us on Twitter at @podfeelings.And if digging into dread is very difficult or intense for you, some additional resources that could help are listed below.Search for a therapist: Alma ZencareAPA Psychologist Locator Mental Health Resources:How Right Now | Finding What Helps Adult Mental Health Resources from the CDCMental Health America Apps:Try the Ten Percent Happier app for free for thirty days by visiting tenpercent.com/more and check out the meditation pack made especially for working with dread.Dare App - free app to help with anxious momentsIf you are currently experiencing a mental health crisis, please click here, text 741741, or call 988.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Day 1: Rewrite Your Dread

Welcome to season two of More Than A Feeling! Inspired by an email from a curious listener who’s been struggling with feelings of dread, Saleem begins investigating. After a call-out to listeners it becomes clear: we’re in a dread-pocalypse right now, and many of us are trying to muscle through it alone. It turns out, though, that there’s a surprising amount of joy and humor in just starting an open conversation about the things we dread, whether it’s the mundane stuff like “Sunday scaries” or our deepest dreads, like losing a loved one, political polarization or fears around the climate crisis. Clinical Psychologists Dr. Ali Mattu and Dr. Rachel Menzies join the show to explain why we have this scary feeling in the first place, and how we can start coping better. This “dreadisode” is just the beginning of The Dread Project: a miniseries and interactive listener challenge. Starting Monday, November 14, we’ll publish five days of short episodes about the different things listeners are dreading. Each one tackles dread in a different way, and offers fun, quick, mindful exercises listeners can try – along with Saleem and thousands of others. The goal is to see if we can all feel a little better, even when we’re anticipating the worst. Sign up for The Dread Project Challenge at dreadproject.com and you’ll get five days of emails with insights from each day’s episode and the exercise that goes with it. You’ll also find instructions in our FAQ for how to send us a voice memo, telling us what you think of the project. If you send one in, don’t forget to include your name and where you’re from. You might hear yourself on an upcoming episode! You can also follow More Than A Feeling on Twitter at podfeelings. Sign up for the Dread Project Listener Challenge here: dreadproject.com. If you’re seeing this after the challenge has begun, don’t worry! You can sign up and participate anytime.For more information about More Than A Feeling, The Dread Project, and today’s guests, check out our show notes at:https://www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/welcome-to-dread-projectAnd if digging into dread is very difficult or intense for you, some additional resources that could help are listed below.Search for a therapist: Alma ZencareAPA Psychologist Locator Mental Health Resources:How Right Now | Finding What Helps Adult Mental Health Resources from the CDCMental Health America Apps:Try the Ten Percent Happier app for free for thirty days by visiting tenpercent.com/more and check out the meditation pack made especially for working with dread.Dare App - free app to help with anxious momentsIf you are currently experiencing a mental health crisis, please click here, text 741741, or call 988.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to the Dread Project

Today, we’re sharing an episode from Other Men Need Help, an award-winning podcast hosted by our own More Than A Feeling senior producer Mark Pagán. This show playfully looks at how men present themselves to the world and what’s underneath. In this episode, I Miss You. Period, Mark investigates three little words that have him tongue-tied around his friends. He turns to long-term and long distance BFFs Darnell and Dimetrius to puzzle out his fear of a certain phrase (and calls on perspectives from a chorus of other men), to find out what's made their friendship work for fifteen years.Find Other Men Need Help wherever you listen to podcasts. And at othermenneedhelp.com .Other Men Need Help is executive produced, hosted, and written by Mark Pagán. Ben Goldberg, Caitlin Mae Burke, and Rebecca Seidel are lead producers. Navani Otero is the producer. Cierra Franco and Shaneez Tyndall are associate producers. Rebecca Seidel is the lead engineer. Ben Goldberg is the lead editor. Original music by Fulton Street Music Group with additional music from Blue Dot Sessions.*More Than A Feeling Listener Survey!*A new season of More Than A Feeling is on its way. Help us make the best show we can for you by taking this short survey at bit.ly/morethanafeelingsurvey.Follow More Than A Feeling on Twitter at @podfeelings, and tell us your questions and stories about the emotions you’re grappling with by sending a voice memo to: morethanafeeling@tenpercent.com.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Introducing: Other Men Need Help

We hear a lot about “vibe” these days: Vibe check, a shift in the vibe, catching a vibe, don't kill the vibe. With the help of scholars and researchers Ellen Dissanayake, Connie Bainbridge, and Maria Witek we’ll define this feeling by drawing a fun, evolutionary line from the sweet sounds of baby talk and lullabies, all the way to adults vibing to the music they love. To put our findings to the test, musicians Phil Cook & Ally J help Saleem write a new lullaby, and DJ Zephyr Ann & DJ Rang demonstrate the power of experiencing “distributed emotion” through music. Have feelings about the show? Let us know! Check out our listener survey: bit.ly/morethanafeelingsurveyThis is the last episode of the season but we’ll be back a little down the road. In the meantime, keep the vibe going by listening to our Spotify playlist, and follow & tweet us at @podfeelings with some suggestions to add to the list!If you’ve got a question or story about an emotion you’re grappling with, send us a voice memo at morethanafeeling@tenpercent.com.Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/vibeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Vibe: A Distributed Emotion

This week, we investigate something that’s long been accepted as a fact about emotions without being put to a scientific test: the stereotype that women are more emotional than men. We meet Psychologist Dr. Adriene Beltz, who’s trying to close that research gap, hear an enraging story from Author Kate Moore about a 19th century woman whose husband commits her to an asylum for expressing her feelings, and talk with Therapist and Researcher Araya Baker about how expectations around emotions and gender impact everyone.Have feelings about the show? Let us know! Check out our listener survey: bit.ly/morethanafeelingsurveyTo better understand your own emotional landscape, check out the Emotions course with meditation teacher Oren Jay Sofer. To try it for free, go to tenpercent.com/more.Follow us on Twitter at @podfeelings, and if you’ve got a question or story about an emotion you’re grappling with, send us a voice memo at morethanafeeling@tenpercent.com.Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/rageSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Rage: I’m Not Mad

When was the last time you allowed yourself a really good, joyful shriek? If that’s not the easiest thing to answer, what about the last time you experienced blissful joy? In this episode, we look at the emotional wallop that comes from true fandom as host Saleem Reshamwala jumps into the world of pop music, speaking with BTS superfan Sam, clinical psychologist Dr. Lynn Zubernis, and Fangirls playwright Yve Blake to find out what fandom can teach him, and us, about what we feel when we just allow ourselves to fully give in to everything from Beyoncé to the Boston Bruins. Have feelings about the show? Let us know! Check out our listener survey: bit.ly/morethanafeelingsurveyFollow us on Twitter at @podfeelings, and if you’ve got a question or story about an emotion you’re grappling with, send us a voice memo at morethanafeeling@tenpercent.com.Because you listen to More Than A Feeling, you can try the Ten Percent Happier app for free for thirty days. Visit tenpercent.com/more.Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/fandomSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Joy & Shame: The Wisdom of Fandom

That banger of a theme song you hear each week on More Than A Feeling was made by El Michels Affair. In this episode Saleem talks with singer Piya Malik and musician, songwriter, and leader of El Michels, Leon Michels, about how they work to evoke emotions in their music. We get into how their collaboration with Wu Tang Clan and how their love of Bollywood music inspires their sound. And they nerd out on their creative process, including how Leon plays with sound in order to land on a vibe that’s both original and yet feels nostalgic. Check out “Kabhi,” the full-length single of our theme song, on Spotify, or wherever you listen to music.Have feelings about the show? Let us know! Check out our listener survey: bit.ly/morethanafeelingsurveyTry the Ten Percent Happier app for free for thirty days by visiting tenpercent.com/more.Follow us on Twitter at @podfeelings, and if you’ve got a question or story about an emotion you’re grappling with, send us a voice memo at morethanafeeling@tenpercent.com.https://www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/nostalgiaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Nostalgia: The El Michels Affair Episode

Most of us have gotten at least a little emotional at some point recently. It’s natural. But why do we have emotions and how much should we pay attention to them on any given day? Can we learn to skillfully choose which emotions to listen to and which ones to just let move on by?In More Than A Feeling, the latest podcast from Ten Percent Happier, host Saleem Reshamwala goes on a real life quest to find the answers to these questions. He’ll experiment with neuroscientists, dive into stories with historians and philosophers, and document how musicians, therapists, hairdressers and airplane pilots work with emotions. Saleem sifts through the human condition to find stories and insights that will help us define our most fundamental relationships: our relationship to our own emotions, and to each other’s. 

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More Than A Feeling

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