What you think about you matters most. External validation means you are measuring your self-worth based on what other people think of your behavior. Internal validation means you are clear about who you are and what you value, so you always have an easy way to measure your success. Listen in on this great conversation with Lisa Radosta, DVM, DACVB. She  shared her thoughts about the power of internal validation as well as her own simple metric for evaluating each day. Give it a try and let me know what you think! 

UNLEASHED (at work & home) with Colleen Pelar

Validation - Lisa Radosta, DVM, DACVB

Imposter syndrome is extraordinarily common and incredibly debilitating. All around, you see capable, competent pet pros who are doing a terrific job. And I'm here to tell you that most of them can't see how amazing they are. Can you? Do you know how amazing you are?  If you struggle with imposter feelings, it's likely that at least one of the seven reasons in this episode has gotten in your way. 

Imposter Syndrome - 7 Perfectly Good Reasons for Imposter Feelings

A limiting belief is something you believe to be true that constrains your choices in some way. It's a belief that "that's just the way things are, and there's nothing I can do about it." Often you won't even recognize your limiting beliefs and so you'll never test them to see if they help or hinder you. Learning to recognize your limiting beliefs and make more active choices allows you to show up in support of yourself in more empowering ways. https://colleenpelar.com/95  

How to Notice and Shift Limiting Beliefs

How much is "enough" and how much is an "abundance?" This varies by category and circumstance. We often think of money when we talk about abundance. How much money would you need to have to feel abundant? What about other categories? How many supportive relationships would feel like an abundance? How much time to dedicate to your own interests and needs? What amount of sleep would be abundant for you? Meredith Jones, DVM, joined me to talk about abundance in its many forms. Tell me, what's something that is either free or very inexpensive that makes you feel abundant?

Abundance - Meredith Jones, DVM

There's magic in diving deep into a subject and learning as much as you possibly can about it. There's something so exciting and energizing about it. Hannah Branigan, CPDT-KA, KPA-CTP, is a self-described nerd. Her passion subjects include dog training, Applied Behavior Analysis, and neuroscience. That's quite a mix! She joined me for a fun conversation about the power of owning your interests and pursuing them with passion. https://colleenpelar.com/93

Nerds - Hannah Branigan

FOCUS ON WHAT MATTERS MOST Far too often, your attention is focused more on other people's priorities than your own. Focus gives you purpose to pursue work that's meaningful to you *and* the freedom to do what you choose, feeling present, calm, and content. Pet professionals often find their work isolating and draining. Maintaining a focus on what matters most to you re-energizes you and helps you build the habits, practices, and connections that fuel you. You deserve to enjoy your day-to-day life. There's no one better than Dog*Biz's president, Veronica Boutelle, to talk about focus with. For nearly two decades, Dog*Biz has been helping dog pros build their businesses with careful deliberation so they can do good work and also earn a good living. https://colleenpelar.com/92

Focus - Veronica Boutelle, CTC, MAEd

Judgment requires comparison, but comparison does not require judgment. Learn to harness your brain's natural gift of comparison without letting it harm your self-image, productivity, or motivation. https://colleenpelar.com/91

Comparison - Avoiding the Compare-and-Despair Trap

This conversation about dogs, dinosaurs, and discovery is just what the doctor ordered. The inner demons of perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and overthinking tell you that you have to do everything “the right way.” But that’s not true. There’s tremendous value in doing something just for the sheer joy of the experience, without any attachment to whether you do it well. Laugh and learn with Sue Sternberg in this wide-ranging conversation.  The most powerful discoveries are the ones you make about yourself. https://colleenpelar.com/90

Discovery - Sue Sternberg

Joy seems like a simple, uncomplicated emotion, but it often sits side by side with more difficult emotions. Joy’s power comes from the yin and yang of life, the ups and downs. Joy gives us moments of elation, connection, and awe that are only powerful because we are also familiar with darkness. Joy points out what is good right now.

Joy - Energizing surges of emotion

Here we are at the end of a long, hard year. It's been a year filled with change and uncertainty. You’ve probably been so busy this year with a variety of concerns that you haven’t taken time to acknowledge all the ways, big and small, that you’ve shown up for yourself. Get ready to feel more empowered, more confident, and more aware of your own impact. https://colleenpelar.com/88

Acknowledgement: Noticing & Claiming Your Accomplishments

Have you ever had a piggy bank? Do you remember putting coins into it and listening to them rattle around? Did yours have a plug in the bottom that you could open to remove money or did you have to break it open? Wasn't it amazing that the money that took so long to accumulate could disappear so quickly? A piggy bank (or a marble jar) is a great metaphor for trust. Trust is built slowly over time. And, if you aren't careful, can be lost in a moment. It's likely that you are extremely trustworthy in your commitments to others, but you may be prone to letting yourself down. And that's a betrayal of the worst kind. Learning to keep your commitments to yourself is a foundational key to creating a life you love (so much so that we spent a full month getting better at honoring personal commitments in UNLEASHED Resilience in October). Laura Gendron, CPDT-KA, and I had a wide-ranging discussion in which we looked a trust from a variety of angles. Since reliability is such a key factor in trust, we explored ways of setting yourself up for success, including internal and external forms of motivation and reinforcement. As I often joke, everything in life relates to dog training, and we certainly proved that true with this conversation. ?  https://colleenpelar.com/87 Check out Susan Friedman's episode on UNLEASHED (at work & home) about being a bold learner. She often uses the piggy bank analogy as well. If you're eager to learn more, check out Atomic Habits, James Clear's excellent book about building habits by making behaviors obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying, and Brene Brown's work, including The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Braving the Wilderness, Rising Strong, and Dare to Lead  

Trusting Yourself - Laura Gendron, CPDT-KA

What should you do when you're worried? Worry is one of the most common human emotions. You come from a long line of worriers because worriers are survivors.  But most of the problems we face in modern society don't threaten your survival, so your brain's worry mode can actually work against you. In this episode, we'll explore why we worry and the skills you can develop to worry less and focus on problem solving. https://colleenpelar.com/86

What, me worry?

Loving kindness meditations (also commonly known as LKM or metta) are the act of sending kindness, warmth, and goodwill toward others. The concept is simple, but the benefits are profound. Loving kindness is a great way get started with meditation without having to sit still or be calm. https://colleenpelar.com/85

Loving Kindness: A Simple Meditation with Powerful Benefits

Pain is a powerful teacher. No one enjoys pain. Physical pain. Emotional pain. By its very definition, it hurts. And yet, pain can also bring unexpected gifts. It can narrow and focus your attention to point out what you truly value. Pain offers you the opportunity to look at situations from a new perspective, to make different choices, and to be more grateful for all that you have. In this episode, Jennifer Shryock, CDBC, and I discuss some of the insights she's had while awaiting spinal surgery. (This episode was recorded several weeks ago. Jen is now recovering well!) https://colleenpelar.com/84

Pain- Jen Shryock

Behavior deteriorates under stress. That simple statement has been in most of my presentations, regardless of whether I’m talking about dogs or people. It’s a key idea that we need to keep in mind for reducing behavior we don’t like and creating better responses. Michael Shikashio is well known for his work with aggressive dogs. To shake things up a bit, I invited him to join me in a conversation about aggressive behavior … in people. The human brain is more sophisticated than the canine brain. People often point to our bigger brains as evidence that we are more evolved, more rational, and more thoughtful about our behavior. It’s a nice story, but the vast majority of our behavior springs from the limbic system, the center of our emotions. Aggression is closely tied to emotion. And it can be a powerful tool for getting what we want—in the short term, it works! But the risks of aggression outweigh the rewards. Aggressive behavior breaks down trust and communication. It destroys rapport. We’re a social species; we need good relationships with others before we can truly thrive. https://colleenpelar.com/83

Aggression - Michael Shikashio

Explore the world of human behavior through the lens of a dog trainer. UNLEASHED (at work & home) with Colleen Pelar helps pet professionals to take charge of their personal development. Gain insight into human behavior through interviews with fascinating experts about their work, their successes, their frustrations … and their love of dogs. Are you ready to be more productive, more positive, and more empowered? Get ready to be UNLEASHED!

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UNLEASHED (at work & home) with Colleen Pelar

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