In the last show I talked with licensed therapist and renowned relationship expert, Nedra Glover Tawwab. Her new book is called, Consider This: Reflections For Finding Peace. As I chew on the message, I’m wondering if “finding peace” is honestly attractive to people. Before my mid forties, if you’d tried to entice me with the hope of finding peace, I’m not sure I would have given you much attention. The prior 25 years I spent going full tilt. Anxiety was fine. I think I thought it was even fun. And yet it was in my mid 40s that I started experiencing the consequences of a lack of peace. The question is then, what is your relationship with peace? And it’s opposite, anxiety? Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou  Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. If you're concerned about OCD, visit NOCD.com to schedule a free 15-minute call with their team. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What Drives You with Kevin Miller

Peace: Do You Even Want It Or Is It Boring?

Nedra Glover Tawwab is the author of the New York Times bestsellers Drama Free and Set Boundaries, Find Peace and I’ve had her on this show to talk about the messages in both of those books. Boundaries specifically is an area I greatly struggle with. Nedra is a licensed therapist and renowned relationship expert and has appeared as an expert on The Red Table Talk, The Breakfast Club, Good Morning America, and CBS This Morning, to name a few. She has a popular Instagram account @nedratawwab with over 1.8 million followers and recently spent a year posting what she called, daily nuggets, with the goal of uplifting, supporting and guiding her audience deeper into themselves. But what she revealed was that her primary muse was herself. These writings were what she needed to hear and hold onto for herself. She created a book from the entire year called, Consider This: Reflections For Finding Peace. The book has no chapters and is more like a daily devotional for peace. As you’ll hear at the top of our discussion, I feel like the book is an antidote for anxiety. I literally started at the first page and just started pulling out topics that resonated with me. We covered topics such as being aware of the energy we feel from others and guarding ourselves against negative energy. The benefit of making new friends and questioning some of our old friends. Paying attention to the signs when our peace is eroding and Nedra talked about an eye twitch she gets that’s a tell tale sign for her.. When it's appropriate to share about yourself. The difference between a grudge and a boundary. When is anxiety warranted? I think you’ll be inspired and equipped. Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou  Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. If you're concerned about OCD, visit NOCD.com to schedule a free 15-minute call with their team. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A Therapist’s Attempt To Find Daily Peace For Herself and Millions Of Others w/ Nedra Glover Tawwab

Love & Respect. This is a book that first published in 2004. 20 years ago. I just looked at Amazon and it’s ranked at #885 in all books right now. All. Why is the book so popular? Because it resonates so much with so many people. This week we’ve talked about peacemaking and respect and I thought it relevant to bring this episode back where I talked with the one and only, Dr Emmerson Eggrichs, author of Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs. Please don’t get hung up on the gender aspects. We all desire levels of love and respect. The point Emmerson makes in the book is how they are different and you’ll find some people who feel and speak more towards love or respect and recognizing this will help you understand and connect with people better, especially those closest to you. In this episode I was joined by Tom Ziglar, CEO of Ziglar and son of Zig Ziglar, as we questioned and learned from the master…Dr Emmerson Eggerichs. Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou  Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. If you're concerned about OCD, visit NOCD.com to schedule a free 15-minute call with their team. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Love vs Respect: When & How Do You Lead With Which? w/ Dr Emmerson Eggerich

I’m sure you’re aware that the online world is working to get your attention and cater to your desires. But I don’t think many are aware how far the online world is going to cater to your bias and desires. When you type into google or a search engine, it’s feeding you information that is altered to cater to you. When you go look at the news, it may be including or omitting content based on your interests and history. At the end of the day, any online source makes money by catering to you. This is their job. I don’t see it as a conspiracy but just a reality that money leads business. And I don’t see it as a terrible thing in and of itself, but what it ends up doing is feeding us what we want. Not the truth, but what we want. And this skews our lives by having our biases constantly confirmed, and to be truly educated, we need our perspectives questioned and challenged. Let’s look at how. ﻿Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou  Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. If you're concerned about OCD, visit NOCD.com to schedule a free 15-minute call with their team. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bias: How To Get Educated Instead Of Just Being Confirmed

As a guy who has focused too much of his life on doing and producing, I am acutely aware that everything I say yes to, everything I give attention to, has a cost. Something else doesn’t get done. Something else doesn’t get attention. There is only so much time in a day and so much space in my brain. In my recent show with Steven T. Collis, law professor at the University of Texas-Austin and one of the nation’s leading thought leaders on the First Amendment and civil discourse, he hits on this in the first chapter of his book, Habits of a Peacemaker: 10 Habits to Change Our Potentially Toxic Conversations into Healthy Dialogues. Habit One in his book is, Intellectual Humility and Reframing and the first sentence of the chapter says, “Most of us need to recognize that, most of the time, we don’t know what we’re talking about.” I’m giving focus to all the issues in our culture. All the front page headlines and stories. All the social media topics. All the current political topics. How on earth are we expected to be on top of them all, and know enough to have a staunch opinion and stance? Let’s look at giving ourselves permission to not know so much about everything.  Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou  Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. If you're concerned about OCD, visit NOCD.com to schedule a free 15-minute call with their team. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Knowledge: Does It Make Sense To Be Knowledgeable On Every Issue?

In the last episode I talked with Steven T. Collis, law professor at the University of Texas-Austin and one of the nation’s leading thought leaders on the First Amendment and civil discourse. He just wrote a book, Habits of a Peacemaker: 10 Habits to Change Our Potentially Toxic Conversations into Healthy Dialogues. Steven’s focus is not upholding people’s rights and enforcing law. It’s helping people connect, and remain connected even when they disagree. At the end of the day I felt Steven leading us to the benefit for ourselves and others, or being respectful no matter what. Notice I didn’t say “giving respect,” but being respectful. It’s about you, not them. If I ask most religious people, under what condition would they renounce their beliefs, many would adamantly state, “None! I’d never do it!” Or if I asked many people in America under what conditions would they vote for the other party, they’d say, “Never!” So let me ask, “Under what conditions should you not give respect?” I’m afraid most everyone has a list. Let’s talk about it. Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou  Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. If you're concerned about OCD, visit NOCD.com to schedule a free 15-minute call with their team. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Respect: How To Know When It’s Not Deserved

The First Amendment. Freedom of religion, speech, press, assembly, and petition. It is meant to protect our freedom of religion, speech, press, assembly, and petition. On this show I sit down with Steven T. Collis. Steven is a law professor at the University of Texas-Austin. He’s a former research fellow at Stanford Law School and is the founding faculty director of the Bech-Loughlin First Amendment Center and is one of the nation’s leading thought leaders on the First Amendment and civil discourse. When there are issues and conflict around First Amendment rights, Steven is one of the first people called in by our nation. He recently wrote a book and the title itself reveals something profound to me. The title of the book is Habits of a Peacemaker: 10 Habits to Change Our Potentially Toxic Conversations into Healthy Dialogues. What does it say about how our culture is treating the First Amendment when one of it’s leading experts doesn’t write a book about what the First Amendment is or how to follow it, but instead speaks instead to the heart of human conflict around people’s conflict with each other? Steven takes his expertise and platform to address what he feels is more important than legalities and right, and goes to where he feels the most hope is. The heart. Habit One in his book is titled, Intellectual Humility and Reframing, and starts off with this statement, “Most of us need to recognize that, most of the time, we don’t know what we’re talking about.” It just gets better. I’m having all my kids listen to this so we can discuss it together. I’d like everyone to hear this before the next election, and I’d recommend giving Steven’s new book, Habits of a Peacemaker: 10 Habits to Change Our Potentially Toxic Conversations into Healthy Dialogues to everyone for Christmas. Actually, give it to them before Thanksgiving and reduce the family tensions by 95%. We argue and make things worse instead of making a difference. Let’s you and I be different.  Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou  Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. If you're concerned about OCD, visit NOCD.com to schedule a free 15-minute call with their team. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Habits Of A Peacemaker: Being Right vs Making A Difference with Steven T. Collis

Think about that statement - Your Future Success Equals The Size Of Your Hope. First, how do we define hope? The most common definition is: a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. Do you expect good things? The opposite of hope is despair. And I’d say, pessimism. Cynicism. And expectation of poor outcomes. It’s what I think of when you complain about something and someone responds with, “Right?!” As if to confirm negative outcomes. Where are you on the scale from complete despair to complete hope? So now imagine if someone offered you $1,000 for every percentage of hope you had inside you. And today you’re at, say 25%. A cool $25,000. You can take that all the way up to 89% and $89,000. But if you hit 90%, you get a million. How would you conduct your life and steer your mental trajectory? What you’re about to hear is a 13 minute clip from Zig Ziglar. One of the most hopeful people I’ve ever encountered. He was possibly the world’s greatest purveyor of hope. A few episodes ago you heard me have a conversation with Seth Godin, who cites Zig as one of his greatest mentors ever, and I felt it was a good time to give Zig some airtime. I believe the following 13 minutes with Zig is worth its weight in gold. Following Zig’s talk I’m joined by his son and longtime CEO of Ziglar, Tom Ziglar, to discuss hope further. I’m bringing back this recording from one of my first podcasts when I was host of The Ziglar Show, from 2016. It still remains one of the most downloaded episodes we ever had on The Ziglar Show. This is an absolute classic. ﻿Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou  Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. If you're concerned about OCD, visit NOCD.com to schedule a free 15-minute call with their team. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hope: Your Future Success Equals The Size Of Your Hope w/ Zig Ziglar

To wrap up this series on strategy, there is no need for a strategy and systems and improvement unless there is something that we want. In my conversation with Seth Godin talking through the messages in his new book, This Is Strategy: Make Better Plans, as he focused on marketing, he said there are 3 things people want. Which means, they are the same three things we want. I found it to be a needed reminder as I try to serve an audience, and…I am an audience, for the world. I’ll take you through them in a moment. Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou  Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. If you're concerned about OCD, visit NOCD.com to schedule a free 15-minute call with their team. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Want: What We Want & How To Offer Others What They Want

Two episodes ago I talked with renowned influencer, Seth Godin about the message in his new book, This Is Strategy: Make Better Plans. In it he tells a story that points out two options for changing our strategy. I've added a third that I feel he would agree with. Let me tell you a story Seth shared and we'll contemplate what options suit us best in the key areas of life we want to improve. Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou  Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. If you're concerned about OCD, visit NOCD.com to schedule a free 15-minute call with their team. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Improvement: The 3 Options To Improve Our Lives

Like you, I’ve worked hard to gain more knowledge. Create healthy habits. And I’ve seen results. From this, I really want to wake up, have a good day, and have everything in my life progress. I get healthier. I get wealthier. My relationships just get richer. I feel spiritually connected. My work is more fulfilling. I'm more peaceful and joyful. What I find however, is that things plateau. Maybe stagnate, or even start eroding. Changing systems in my life often created good change and progress. Until they didn’t. And as I hold on to them, I live out the definition of insanity; doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. W. Edwards Deming famously stated, “Every system is perfectly designed to get the result that it does.” Even if a system gave positive results, if it’s not now, then…it’s not. And “it” won’t change until we change. What does that look like? Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou  Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. If you're concerned about OCD, visit NOCD.com to schedule a free 15-minute call with their team. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Systems: We Have One. If We Want Different Results We Must Alter Our Systems

I’ve grown up in the human potential movement and world of entrepreneurship. Having a goal, which I refer to as a destination, is paramount, as if we don’t know where we are going, we can never get there. However, to get there, you need a strategy. We generally think we have one, but we very often misinterpret what a real, effective strategy is. So I have for you…the expert. Seth Godin. Seth is known as one of the most pervasive voices in the business world, but just as many people follow him for personal insight. I know so many people who have read his daily blog for well over a decade. Seth has a discerning perspective on a meaningful life and a business that matters and succeeds.. Seth was one of my first guests when I hosted The Ziglar Show, as he cites Zig Ziglar as one of the most influential mentors of his life, again, personally and professionally. I recently sat down with Seth to talk about strategy and as usually, he popped a lot of myths about what is and isn’t strategy. He has culminated it in a new book called, This Is Strategy: Make Better Plans. As you’re about to hear, he asks as many great questions as he makes great statements. He asks, “If we don't have a strategy, what do we have?” He says, “A strategy isn’t a map—it’s a compass,” and I think you’ll want to hear how he clarifies this. I asked him where we most miss out on what an actual strategy is. And while the topic is headlined as strategy, Seth gives a lot of focus to systems that work. Again, in our personal lives and in our work. Again, the brand new book is This Is Strategy: Make Better Plans, and you’re going to hear some of the headline topics I wanted to learn more about.  Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou  Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. If you're concerned about OCD, visit NOCD.com to schedule a free 15-minute call with their team. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Strategy: How To Understand & Create A User Friendly Strategy For Business & Life w/ Seth Godin

To wrap up this focus on doing too much and how we run ourselves ragged, I’m looking at our relationships, from family to friends and in our work, with a focus on how we tend to be all things for all people and we do a disservice to ourselves and others. So I’m sharing a show I did with Laura Tremaine. Laura is host of the 10 Things To Tell You podcast and author of Share Your Stuff. I’ll Go First. Laura worked in film and television production for many years at MTV, VH1, Fox, and Paramount Pictures before pursuing writing full time. She writes primarily to women about friendship, anxiety, motherhood, and marriage. But her book, The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs, got my attention a couple years ago and I refer to it often. She focused on the niche for women but I resonated completely as a guy. In it she profiles different friend styles and the benefit of having friends for specific needs. It hit a chord for me as I had become concerned with our growing cultural isolation and tendency to look at one friend or family member or our spouse to fulfill all our relational needs. And conversely, how others will look to us to fulfill all their relational needs. And we can’t. And we shouldn’t. And we not only end up doing too much, but fulfilling roles in the relationships in our lives that drain us and aren’t even serving those we care about that well. I think you’ll get great value from this talk with Laura Tremaine as you address you may be doing too much in your life. Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou  Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. If you're concerned about OCD, visit NOCD.com to schedule a free 15-minute call with their team. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How To Limit Your Roles In Relationships & Let Go Of Bitter Giving with Laura Tremaine

As I wrap up this series on doing too much, I’m looking at the issue of responsibility. I was a superhero of responsibility. I did it all. No limits. No excuses. People were awed at how much I took care of. Until…I couldn’t. It reminds me of the attribute of being able to hold your liquor. It was a sign of strength, how many shots or beers you can have and still function. Which mainly means you’ve built up a tolerance to a toxin. How is that something to be proud of? This is what I did with responsibility and I’m thinking many of you can relate. I’ve got a concept to walk you through that I think will give you freedom from and a desire to divest yourself of some responsibilities.  Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou  Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. If you're concerned about OCD, visit NOCD.com to schedule a free 15-minute call with their team. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Key Signs You Might Be Drunk On Responsibility

Imagine meeting someone new and them asking, “So, who are you?” Instead of, “What do you do?” How would you even answer? Famed author Donald Miller writes about attending a therapy retreat and for the first three days nobody could share what they did vocationally. He said it was excruciating not to be able to tell people he was a successful author, and he realized how much his identity was wrapped around his roles. I never knew myself outside of what I did, until…far too recently. Here I’m going to unpack some thoughts around this concept.  Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou  Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. If you're concerned about OCD, visit NOCD.com to schedule a free 15-minute call with their team. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How To Separate What You Do From Who You Are

From host Kevin Miller: When I was 7 years old and got out of line, my parents would give me an “attitude adjustment” and make me listen to motivational speakers like Zig Ziglar. I didn’t appreciate it at the time but the experience gave me awareness of how powerful our minds and outlook on life are. I went on to become a pro athlete, have 9 kids, start 17 businesses and become addicted to performance and production. Till I burnt out. Multiple times. That started a quest to not just pursue performance, but to uncover my true potential which was far more than just what I did. It became about who I was and could be. I started podcasting as host of The Ziglar Show, in a stroke of irony. After countless conversations with the most influential thought leaders on the planet, I wrote a book called What Drives You to look at what we really want and understanding why we want it. I now host a podcast of the same name, What Drives You. I’ve had deep talks with over 270 experts in the Human Potential Movement and my shows have had over 70 million downloads. I’ve walked with well over 1,000 people as they pursue their own personal evolution. Today I don’t seek out the most popular leaders, but the most knowledgeable. I find the professors teaching classes, the therapists counseling with patients and the researchers in labs who understand what causes us to transform in today’s world. And what keeps us stuck. We don’t need more ideas. We need better understanding. I’m pursuing my own personal growth and evolution and invite you to learn and grow with me. Join me on the What Drives You podcast.

hubhopper

What Drives You with Kevin Miller

hubhopper