New Year’s Eve, time to look back on the year, and forward to the future.

Relationships with Dr. Rebecca Jankovich

New Years: Relationships With Dr. Jankovich

The Holidays can be a difficult time because of the expectations that all should be good in your life.

Holidays: Relationships With Dr. Jankovich

What I’m about to say does not apply to people in relationships in which physical, verbal or emotional abuse occurs. For relationships without abuse, I’m often asked, “why do I have to make all the changes for this relationship to work?” And, the answer is because you’re the one who sought therapy, so you’re the one with the greatest ability to initiate a change. If one of you changes to be more kind, less critical, more affectionate, more positive, there’s an inevitable impact on the other—even if it takes months for you to see it. It’s a lot like sitting on the old teeter totters: if you shift your weight, the other feels it and has to compensate for the change. We would all like our partner to work as hard to fix this relationship as we work. If instead of initiating change in yourself, you wait for things to be fair and your partner to also start making changes, you could wait so long that your relationship sours beyond repair. So, if you want this to work, overlook the unfairness

Why Do I Have To Be The One To Make All The Changes?: Relationships With Dr. Jankovich

Today is a time to consider what makes you grateful.

What Makes You Grateful: Relationships With Dr. Jankovich

It is a wrenching decision whether you bail your child out of jail.

Whether to Bail Out: Relationships With Dr. Jankovich

It’s hard to know when your child’s behavior is out of the ordinary.

Knowing Your Child Is Anxious: Relationships With Dr. Jankovich

There’s an art in how to listen to someone talking, whether it be telling a story or discussing a problem.

Friends Listen: Relationships With Dr. Jankovich

Resiliency is being able to adapt to whatever happens, as opposed to reacting to changes with anger, hopelessness or despair.

Resiliency: Relationships With Dr. Jankovich

Dr. Barrett, a neuroscientist, reported in the New York Times (‘PMS is not just a cliché’. NYT, 6/8/2019) that Premenstrual Syndrome is a real, biological event for some women; the hormonal changes prior to flow of menses, cause women with PMS to experience more intense and negative emotions.

‘PMS is not just a cliché’: Relationships With Dr. Jankovich

I worked with a couple having an intense fight.

Interpreting Motives: Relationships With Dr. Jankovich

It feels so good to be right…so good that you want to say “I told you so” when what you predicted, comes true.

“I Told You So”: Relationships With Dr. Jankovich

When you’re divorced and your Ex dies, the rituals of grief can be awkward.

Funerals And The Ex

Couples may argue over politics. One is conservative and the other liberal. Discussing differences of opinion can help you understand your partner’s beliefs and know them better.

Political Fights At Home: Relationships With Dr. Jankovich

It’s difficult to adjust to a divorce if you’ve been married since you were in your 20’s, and your life has been centered around family and work.

Adjusting To Divorce: Relationships With Dr. Jankovich

Dr. Jankovich has been working as a psychologist since 1974. She works with a range of problems including relationships, depression, anxiety, sleep disorders, grief, trauma, and struggles with life transitions. Rebecca practices what she preaches to not burn out by leaving the office to ride equine races with her horses, and travel the world.

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Relationships with Dr. Rebecca Jankovich

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